You can marry her but you will have to postpone having a child till she is done school, otherwise her education would definitely be disrupted.

I think hes ashamed of you

@Cuddlemii and Upendo 98
Why are you girls taking things so personal? It is not a fight, virginity is a virtue! period.
We all know this deep down in our hearts, even those of us that have voluntarily had sexx outside marriage and with several people too - there are many risks to a sexually active lifestyle, but no risks to an abstinent lifestyle. shi ke na

Note:
Nobody here is judging the people that had that had their virginity stolen from them by violation or violence.
Loss/damage of hymen does not mean loss of virginity as long as the girl has never been penetrated (be it front or back).

NO!

If you love your friend, you will tell him. There are way too many issues here to remain quiet:

1) She was cheating on her fiancé with not 1, but 3 guys in one week!
2) She probably did it unprotected to have wound up pregnant.
3) The abortion complication might have damaged her womb and could cause possible issues for childbirth.
4) Sorry to judge but this girl is a slut! period. Why should someone who is engaged and soon to be married be sleeping with anyone else, talk-less of 3 men in one week. that's just dirty! yuck

adconline:


Then you don't know about guys. Get yourself acquainted

Judging from your response you are probably not that matured mentally,
I am not naive, most of the successfully married men I have spoken to, have told me that they knew they wanted to marry their wives just a few months into dating - that doesn't mean they were financially ready or very settled to do it straight away but they KNEW.

When i get of marriageable age, I definitely would not wait around for years dating a guy who is not sure of what the future holds for us!
That is how one of my older friends dated a guy (who was very sweet and caring) for 5 good years thinking he would eventually propose - they broke up just a few months ago and he's already with someone else,

adconline:


The point is that you assumed that this relationship would lead to a marital bliss? Wrong- you  should have put that in his toasting contract, so as to arm you when you would like to discuss it. Having said, what are his goals in life?  Is he financially fit  to take care of a family? YES, money is heavily required in building a family. If he's currently working on something that is career related eg job, school  and business- marriage may be on the back burner.Guys think career first, than marriage later.

It doesn't matter whether he's working on something! A guy that is serious about you will have marriage in mind even though prevailing circumstances might prevent it from happening soon - AND he will voice his plans to you. It may take a few more years for him to get settled but he will let you know his mind and feelings for marriage.
In my opinion, the guy doesn't want to commit but wants to keep the girl.

Ishilove:

Why cant he wait for you? Is he marrying you for sex? Are u sure this man is God's will for your life? Poster u really need to fast and pray because God's word is very explicit concerning the issue of fornication. Just because society indulges in and glorifies sexual immorality does not make it right. Lady, u are gem amongst women and this is the devil tempting you. Don't mortgage your destiny on the alter of sex. Fast and pray and God will surprise you

Beync:

DONT OOO!! this sex will not save your mariage if he i
s not your rightful husband, How would you feel if after having you he changes his mind? you'l be devastated right? Are you saying God is not faithfull as to reward you for being faithful thru all these years? Pls dont listen to any negative thought that comes your way now, there is time and place for everything. If this man trully loves you, he'l wait till the DDay. this is a real test of faith and u need to be strong. he need to reason with you and know that you wont deny him sex when you both are legally maried. demanding for sex now as a prerequisite for the mariage would be selfish and unwholesome.

These two have said it all - don't listen to all these people that want to lead you astray - we are in the end times and many are being deceived!
You are a Christian and the bible makes the issue of fornication very clear! So there is no question there o!

Please any two people can be sexually compatible it just takes practice, willingness to learn, consideration for eachother's desires, and LOVE.

The husband-to-be is not young, i am sure he is done with education and financially stable by now,  he should move the wedding date up if he cant wait any longer. If he loves you,  HE WILL WAIT!

In the old days, people were initially meant to marry as virgins (as bible/quran states) and then begin their new sexual freedom togther on their honeymoon.

But these days, everyone is having sex left, right, centre before marriage which leaves nothing exciting for the honeymoon

If he has been like this all these years, marriage will NOT change a single thing! - marriage does not magically transform people's characters.
If you need to be in a loving, affectionate relationship, girl, don't settle for less than what you want and deserve because down the line, you will not be satisfied with a man that cannot be loving and affectionate with you.

Listen if you are having doubts now,  follow your instincts, they will mostly never fail you.
A breakup is less painful than a divorce.

My question to you is: whose idea was it to get married in the first place? Were you pressuring him or did he propose on his own accord?

If the only reason for yo not wanting to move on is the fear of being single again then that means you want to settle and manage this guy.
Think about it like this, if you were still 24years old, would you stay with this guy knowing the way he is? Your answer to this question should guide you.

Marriage is meant to be enjoyed NOT endured.

Poster I am sorry about your predicament sha,
But what I think is pathetic is the fact that you believe she contacted the std from a[b] communal toilet[/b]?
Don't you know that the viruses and bacterium that cause std's cannot survive outside the body?
In other words no one ever gets std's from toilets - you can get other unhygienic infections like scabies but your chances of stds are practically non-existent.
The girl lied to you ooo! who knows what else she has lied about.
I say RUN!

I am finding it very hard to sympathize with you
So you stayed with a girl that you didn't love for 3 long years all because of what? sex?
Well, you have reaped the fruits of the sex that you cherished much more than being honest with the poor girl who has been deceived by your fake love all this time.

First it was 5000 dead black birds falling from the sky in Arkansas, USA before New Year's,
and then it was 100,000 dead drum fish surfacing in Arkansas in January.
Many other stories like this around the world,
Now it's 1,000,000 dead sardines surfacing in California!

It looks like God is sending us a message!

REPENT for we are in the end times!!!

News Stories:
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/video/us-22424932/millions-dead-fish-puzzle-californians-24454054.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/04/us/04beebe.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40887450/ns/us_news-environment/

First it was 5000 dead black birds falling from the sky in Arkansas, USA before New Year's,
and then it was 100,000 dead drum fish surfacing in Arkansas in January.
Many other stories like this around the world,
Now it's 1,000,000 dead sardines surfacing in California!

It looks like God is sending us a message!

REPENT for we are in the end times!!!

News Stories:
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/video/us-22424932/millions-dead-fish-puzzle-californians-24454054.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/04/us/04beebe.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40887450/ns/us_news-environment/

First it was 5000 dead black birds falling from the sky in Arkansas, USA before New Year's,
and then it was 100,000 dead drum fish surfacing in Arkansas in January.
Many other stories like this around the world,
Now it's 1,000,000 dead sardines surfacing in California!

It looks like God is sending us a message!

REPENT for we are in the end times!!!

News Stories:
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/video/us-22424932/millions-dead-fish-puzzle-californians-24454054.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/04/us/04beebe.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40887450/ns/us_news-environment/

mamaken:

virgins r the cheaters of tommorrow. . . .

it's a natural behaviour. sooner or later she/he will like to taste something else. . .

Not necessarily true for all everyone though.
It can be the opposite case especially when its true love- in which they cannot imagine being with anyone else other than their partner.

@ poster,

YES you can!
Good girls like to dance and have fun as well.

2buff:

Well can you blame them if they wanna keep it biblical?

Please don't get it wrong,  There is no where in the bible that says you must marry a virgin wife.

Marrying a good virgin wife is a good as marrying a repentant and reformed non-virgin wife - as long as both are currently virtuous in personality.

Yes, Please tell us!!!!

MOVE ON!

He has basically used and abused her! She should salvage what is left of her dignity and leave the loser.
He has out rightly shown her that he obviously does not value her or love her, so what is she holding on to? what more does she have to hear and bear before she will come to her senses?
She does not deserve such a cruel treatment! Staying with the jerk would not improve things but make them worse!

Its not going to be easy especially after such a long time of 'dating', but what shes in at the moment is not a relationship!
She needs to face reality!

.