₦airaland Forum

Seeing that some persons were asking for a picture of the said yam, I was taken aback.

I know that there's a saying, "A picture is worth a thousand words". True!! But then, how can you confirm or disprove that the yam was hard as the Op claimed just by seeing a photo of it?
Hmm...
Maybe some can but I doubt anyways.

I felt that so many persons were just too quick to say no, nope, I can't and never.
There's a saying: Take a walk in my shoes before you judge me.

Another one says: Let's not blame people for how they handled a pain we've never felt.
People hurt/heal differently.

There are levels to toxicity.
Sometimes to protect your mental health you just have to distance yourself from that toxic being.
Some people (parents also) can be so toxic as a zombie. Better run or get turned (become like them).
You put up so long with them that you begin to learn their ways.

I have now developed a rough way of dealing with toxic people that if a situation should arise, if you don't take a close look to comprehend the situation, it would be hard to tell the actual toxic person. Signs that I might gradually be turning one already.

One doesn't become a good parent simply because they were united with their father and mother. Orphans also marry and excel at parenting.
I agree with whoever it was that said "some parents still need parenting".
In a way, I felt bad seeing how people just went on and on saying: how can such a one make a good parent?

Shouldn't the question be: Would you marry somebody who grew up with a toxic father, mother or parent?
That's what should be called a red flag.
Such a parent much have inculcated some amounts of toxicity in that child. Or that child must have acquired some unknowingly; that may start manifesting after marriage.

Knowing what they went through to have made that tough decision of leaving home or cutting that parent off wouldn't help your understanding well. Only if you had felt what they felt, tolerating everything just because they didn't want to be seen as a rebellious child; as some would have it.

I understand that human choices can't always align. So, I'm not up against anyone's opinion.

👆👆 That's if the reason for the disconnection from parent was on the ground of toxicity.
Think twice before writing people off!

chardyni:
Beautiful.

But who is that in the top left corner? Or is it my eye.

Mhen!!! Fear gripped me when I saw it. My God!

CandidAdmin:
@Girlee YOU DID WHAT!

@dawnomike
sorry about that... But wait a minute, did you just say it was traumatizing?

Mynd44

I mistakenly drowned the chicken 😢
You know, I seriously felt guilty for months. Faintly, I still do.
It felt like I had committed murder.
I'm of the belief that the most horrific way a non-aquatic creature can die, is to die by drowning.
Like seriously, I never intended for things to go the way it did.

How can I forget Christmas eve, year 2021😩
Mum brought home the Christmas chicken and kept it in an empty room. I couldn't go there to have a look 'cause I was busy.
When I later got there, I noticed that the chicken looked thirsty as it had its mouth opened so, I decided to get water and then, placed it right in front of the chicken but the rooster didn't drink the water. I was like "or is the bowl too deep for it to drink from?"
So, I had to put aside my phobia for chickens and summoned the courage to help it drink.
So, what did I do?
I took the rooster by its head and forced it into the bowl but the domestic animal started struggling with me.
I refused to let it go as I didn't want it to die of dehydration.
I realized the worst after I was sure that it must have had enough.
The rooster was dead. God! I felt terrible. I didn't know what to do. I stood there for about three minutes, trying to interpret what I had done.
I DROWNED THE CHICKEN. It was struggling because I had its nose inside the water but I didn't know.
I later called my mum to the scene and yeah! Got a slap and lots of painful comments from my siblings.
"Oversabi!! You don go Kee fowl"... "Who send you? Na only you go chop this thing" ... What did they not say 😂😂💔?

Well, after they all stopped judging me, my mum took the rooster and slaughtered it.
Christmas chicken got serverd early😂 (We used a few pieces for stew that night).
That's one day I can never forget.

NBAjunior:
I’m a 22 year old male staying alone as at the time of making this post I have only 54 thousand naira in my account with no hope for the future…

I have no job, no friends, no girlfriend, I have no hope of getting money cuz the work I do is no more


My house rent is becoming due I don’t want to go back staying with my mom it would add more to my depression

Please I need a word of encouragement from you guys

That you even have 54 thousand naira in your account is hope, to me.
Since you didn't give life to yourself, you are in no place to take it. Please, don't.
Your signature says "God is good". I tell you, He really is a good God. I'm very sure that He will come through for you.
Taking your life is giving up on hope. Keep your hope alive by staying alive.
Hold on to Faith.

Stand up to bullies and they will crumble.
Bullies are basically weak people, trying to feel powerful by taking advantage of another man's weakness (I guess you appear weak and timid to them).
Note: If bullies should sense that you're timid, they will begin to intimidate you.
You mustn't let them have their way because they've got nothing on you.
Get rid of them from around you by:
1. Reporting them to the school's disciplinary committee, Dean, SUG or even a lecturer that you trust can help you.
If the aforementioned doesn't work then you should try...

2. Practice this: Whenever you're alone, create a scenario of them coming to bully you again and when they are close enough, stand up to them like this - "(On a serious note and without sounding fearful) You guys are here again, to bully me right? See, this nonsense, ends today. If you think you can continue coming to me, to destroy my stuffs and jeer at me, it all ends today. That I have been quiet doesn't mean am stupid.
Now, if you all don't get out of here this minute, I'll do some that will make you all regret knowing me". (if they refuse to leave, start acting loco, like one of those agberos in Lagos searching for a bottle or plank). Don't let it get to your head sha. It's just going to be some serious act to scare them off forever.


You can't continue running away from them. They're just empty vessels known to make the loudest noise.
You can overcome and regain your sanity and peace.
I'm rooting for you.
You shouldn't think of "belonging" to a cult oh! You were fearfully and wonderfully made, they should either be scared of you or loving to you.

My pastor was once a victim of bully. He reported severally to his teachers but that didn't curb his situation until his dad taught him how to fight 😂. I'm not saying you should fight but act against the normal that they know you for and they will run. Sternly, tell them to back off from you.

rockok:
How does bullying affect someone in an environment especially academic environment. I am actually in an academic environment and I am being bullied. I believe it is having an impact on me.

I am thinking of leaving but I have spent a lot of money and don't want to leave. I want someone opinion on what to do?

Kfed4ril:
Wait o, you said your father can comfortably pay you the 20k monthly and has refused you 2500 for pume?

That's the bitter truth

Afodot0022:
Wanna ask you girlee... Are you a twin?

Yeah, I have a twin sister.

fimzzy1991:
Please be careful of predators here. Don't go see anyone. If you must, take at least 2 people and inform your family members first. The world is very tricky nowadays

Exactly! I won't take such risky moves.
Thanks for letting me know.

SweetyZinta:
This your idea to run away from home will hunt you in the long run. Only your family can accept you. Outsiders will exploit you, they can even traffick you out as olosho.


Not passing jamb or gaining admission is not the end of the world. I personally wrote jamb 4 time before I gained admission.

Just keep your mind busy it will take away suicidal thoughts and depression from you. Learn digital skills and make your money online.


You can choose northern universities because their cut-off marks are reasonable. Good luck, be careful who you take advice and help from, May God guide you through.

I appreciate your wise words. Thanks a lot!!
I really appreciate you

Ibrahim3307:
Okay, will your dad take care of your school fees and other expenses if you get the admission?

I was hoping he will

Gloriagee:
Hi, sent a little amount. Can you confirm you got it?

Please don't call that little.
I got it and I'm so grateful! I never expected such an amount.
May God continue to bless you!!!
I won't forget this... Thanks so much

Ibrahim3307:
Are you planning to write another jamb or want to proceed to write your post ume?

I want to proceed with the post utme

fimzzy1991:
Hello dear young lady. I read your story and sensed some sincerity and desperacy.
Inasmuch as you feel you're the most unfortunate person on earth, girl, you still got it easy. You have no reason to run from home, you'll just be jumping from frying pan to fire.
You have a destiny and Satan wants to end it before it starts.

You have a problem, the way out is to look for solutions not more complications.

A little story about me, I was less than 7 when I lost my father, we couldn't feed properly life was hard, saw lots of obstacles along the way, but giving my life to Jesus at age 12 made all the difference. I stuck to Christ. It was rough but I made it. Today after almost 3 decades I have no regrets. I did jamb 3ce because I wanted Medicine but couldn't later on entered with the course I could get and later changed to medicine.

Don't make harsh decisions you will regret later in life, stay calm, restrategize. Learn how to negotiate with your parents, don't be an entitled daughter. Ask for things with humility from your Dad.
You can learn a hand craft, computer programming while waiting, instead of doing jobs that will take so much of your time you couldn't study.
Take a year off if necessary to gather yourself together. There is no rush. After graduation people still stay at home looking for job.

Everyone will have some delays getting to their goal at one time or the other, but the most important thing is not when you get to your goal, but that you got there despite every obstacle.

We're rooting for you, don't take shortcuts. You can get in touch with me, perhaps we can talk more. I am a mother of girls, sure I can talk to you more.
Love you

I appreciate your kind words Ma!
I will get in touch. Thanks a lot!! I really appreciate your words.

Pacesetter2021:
you shouted on your dad till you lost your voice. Clap for yourself.

Na war. No matter what, you shouldn't do that.

I shouldn't have done that. I very well know that and I regretted my action afterwards but still, I was pushed.
I've always been calm and quiet, thinking he would change but he even got worse.
I shouldn't have done that. Yeah!

macsika:
What state do you live?

.

Tonytonex:
asked those that have gotten admission, how they did it.

It's not just only about applying for admission, then relax.

Yeah! I will

Icent99:
firstly, don't do anything stupid. Your home is your safe haven. No matter what, only your family gat you, even more than anybody else. I live in Benin too, you can get a decent job say 40k to 50k in Benin but the only problem will be transportation. Where in Benin do you live?... I could recommend you for a job

Yeah! No stupid doing... I won't think of such anymore.

Ikpongiton:
Benin girl claiming virgin.i can only believe you,if you pass egg .wear angle chain and pierce your nose,and run to Italy.abi you de learn work

Benin girl?... That's not my ID

How about church girl?
Daughter of Zion?
Abba's Daughter?
Devout christian?


I did not quite understand the rest of the words you wrote.
Don't act like you know me because I'm not gonna allow anyone tell me who i really am.

Sirchiboy:
....
So sorry about what you are passing through.
All these things are just to make you strong and prepare you for a better tomorrow.
I know you have a better tomorrow so don't let the unpleasant relationship you have with your dad destroy that.
Running away is not the best solution but it will worsen the solution.
Mutually talk with your father.
Find out why she is treating you that way.
Maybe there is something you are doing that he dislikes.
No responsible Dad will allow his child to go through hardship or pain.
It is the dream of every parent to see their children happy and progress in life.
Don't be in a rush to enter school.
I will advise you to learn a skill like fashion, hair dressing, or any digital skill before you enter school so that you will use that skill to survive if the journey goes soar.
Where do you reside?
From your write it seems you reside in Delta State.

Thanks! I appreciate your wise words.
I'm grateful
I reside on Edo state.

NewSoul:
I wish I was eighteen like you and had a father like yours. I would be happy and take advantage that no one wants to help but I was deceived. The people around me pretended that they will be of help but I was being played like pin pong lol. Now I will be 27 soon and in 100 level in that university you are aspiring for.

I know of a girl that is in 100 level nursing Uniben and she’s 26. Many are over 25 in 100 level and one beautiful thing about nursing or medicine and surgery. Is that there is no age discrimination.

Leave that family move to somewhere like Lagos. Go to the island you’ll see waiter jobs paying as high as 70k salary. You’ll be getting small tips that can make you not to touch your salary at all. If you save 40k for 4 years that’s like 2M. That should settle your tuition through school and feeding. If you enter 100 level at 24 and come out at 29. You can still serve at 30 and jet out of the country.

Stick to your morals don’t trade your body for money it never ends well

Thank you so much!
I appreciate your words...
I'm grateful

toprealman:
Too much energy, over Sabi....just calm down.
You are a single teenager counseling the married Based on what experience.
Use your time to take care of you.

God made me so!

dafeoroyo:
Great question

She's doesn't work for now.
She has tried so many businesses that later failed. And she's equally going through a lot.
My dad is the one everyone looks up to. He has never been a lovely husband to her. But she loves him and encourages us (her children) to do same. She is a mother. The woman didn't sleep last night but was just praying and I also heard her advising my dad.
My dad has left to work this morning. We'll be seeing him in the next 3 months...
God has already began his work in our lives through angels on Nairaland.
I appreciate you all🌹

Mom007:
This your dad that you are describing here, what's the guarantee that if you get admission, he will pay your fees? You have to be smarter about getting money from him than just asking outright. He is your dad, you know him better. When I was younger, if I and my siblings ask my dad for money for clothes, he either refuses or gives us peanuts. But ask for something academic, you will see money rain. Maybe your dad is a member of the 'school na scam' club. Try to be creative. Also, don't leave home without a sure thing you are doing for enough cash to look after your self else forget these values you claim you have, you will fall into prostitution. You said you have like a blog of something where you advice people.. Ever tried monitising it? Or opening a go fund me with this your story? I dunno but try something smart. Create a niche for yourself like Hilda bassey. Also, seek Gods help in earnest heartfelt prayers. He still answers you know. Chat me if you need someone to talk to. All the best little sis.

I'll chat you up!
Thanks a lot!!!
You're amazing

Dancebreaker:
My dear, if it was possible, I would have advised you to try applying to a Northern University like Sokoto Dan Fodio for nursing. Sokoto is quite safe mostly. Cut-off marks are lower.

Also consider Radiography if they won't give you nursing. It's in demand and less hard work than nursing.
You can also try midwifery route. So you have options. Explore your extended family. An uncle, cousin or aunt somewhere may be willing to support. No need to be shy about seeking genuine help.

Many of us have supported extended family members through education over the years.

Yeah! I will consider your suggestion
Thanks a lot, I'm grateful

Postinor:
let me advice u, with ur jamb score I am not really sure uniben will give you nursing, so I would advice u buy a change of course form and change to optometry or other courses with low cut off mark,as it is better to get something related to medical courses than for uniben to transfer u to unprofessional courses, also u said u didn't gain admission at all last year,are u sure you uploaded ur o'level results to ur jamb caps and kofa page,,all in all don't give up,prove them wrong and also never sell ur body for money

I'm rethinking the definition of family. My teacher defined family to be a group of people related by blood but I'm seeing people encouraging me, calling to lift my spirit, helps from people I don't know, doing what my family rarely does.

Last night, I slept in my tears but today, I'm in tears and it's a different kind of tears 😭😭
God will bless you all for me...

Dancebreaker:
Young woman, at 18, you have not even started life yet really. I know you may feel otherwise but there is nothing you still cannot do. From getting your degree to becoming minister or even president.
Don't run away. You are too intelligent to do that.

Your dad may not be as financially buoyant as you may think. Be patient and keep being a good daughter to your family and society. Help will surely locate you.

Amen!!
Thanks a lot.
I so much appreciate you. I'm grateful 🙏

Divaan:
Dear, you are welcome to the world. It is at this age reality sets in for many underprivileged or disadvantaged youths in Nigeria and the time many a youths are tempted to make drastic life's decisions that may end in premium tears. This is what happens when there is no proper guidance or a safe place to run to. I would have said you should seek counselling in a good church, that can support you and intervene in your family issues for your own good but unfortunately many churches today are either after your money or only after your spirituality. Your daddy building a house may be his own sure way of keeping an asset that would yield him salary in his old age. He may be acting out of fear. Sadly, this is the vicious cycle in many low-income earning homes and that is why you may be feeling neglected. He may think that you do not need to rush as your schooling could wait. He sees a pressing need to build his house for a security of his own future too. Also note that when A is unhappy, the unhappiness passes to B , then to C and when needs and expectations are not met, the whole environs became toxic and unbearable. This is the sad reality. My one pence advise I know to give is:

1. Be strong, stay resilient and fight. Fight the problem to win. Don't commit suicide. Millions are also facing same problem and worse issues than yours and are still fighting.Peradventure, they could win.

2. If or should you run away from home, seek a proper refuge. You could stay in an orphanage home, or with your pastors or a good aunt but please, let your parent or siblings be in the know as to where you are. Do not fall into the hands of female eaters and virgin hunters.

3. Seek a solution to passing your exams by reading voraciously, practice more past questions and devote more time to study, study, study. Select a course that is professional, lucrative and life fulfilling for your own future.

4. Work and pray. Seek work in places like schools or shops that close early. That way, you have time to refresh and sleep or better still. You could sell things like clothes, shoes or bags to students or in the markets. That way, your time is at your discretion. Pray. Pray as this is the thing we have to do in this part of the world to get favours, grace and opportunity.

5. Seek information and opportunities for young school leavers like yourself. Scholarship? Free vocational paid trainings? Etc.

6. Speak out. Yes. Tell people about what you're passing through. There are many angels as much as there are demons.

7. Wait. Time changes a lot of things. Time could change your state and life entirely. If it doesn't, it could change the way you perceive and relate with your own reality.

I wish you well in your journey and pray you don't make too many mistakes.

You're an angel!
I really appreciate this. I'm grateful...
I'd do just as you've said.
God bless you! Your kind is rare🌹

Venekconsultt:
Op they are more to life. So give it another chance

Sure thing!
I'm grateful for your kind words.

writeprof:
Remember Joseph. Remember Esther. Remember God is taking you somewhere great. So, remain in Christ as you claim He is in you. Stay put where you are and shine your light. Focus on God.

If you didn't have a father won't you make it in life? I don't wish your father dead. But I learnt that anyone can disappoint especially your parents. My father did when I was in JSS 3. How? He died.

God bless you.

I'm blessed by your words!
I'm grateful!
You'll never experience hardship in life! When you call for one, thousands will answer you and when you call for thousands, millions will surround you. You'd never be found lacking or wanting.
Thanks bro 🌹

Etiyin:
I will advise you not to leave your current place of residence. Most of these people here offering their help might not do anything for you in the end. Stay in your parent house and prepare for your exams. You’re still young and don't be too hard on yourself. In addition, some of these people telling you to leave your comfort zone in other to make it in life. I want to tell you categorically that it might not really work in some situations. I left my comfort zone when I had gathered most of the skills I needed to make it outside my comfort zone and it paid off. Stay in your state and develop skills. You don’t leave your comfort zone when you’re not ready. I wish you all the best in your exams.

You've got a heart of Gold!
You have done me well... And God will reward you.
Thanks so much! I'm grateful