Am happy you said endured, who knows what she endured. When the men cheat and feel she can't go anywhere, a lot of women don't forgive. They bid their time,and hold on for her kids and also to build her wealth slowly. They are usually ready in their fifties when the kids are out. there is nothing sudden about it, she has checked out since and worked towards it by building her own house. To make the decision to leave at that age isn't easy at all if u must know. Let him marry a new wife, life goes on.

ednut1:
Denial of reality cannot cover the truth.. women endure for years as long as you have money or for the kids . The money your money drops or goes. Baba dem go waka. Only those dat dated when there was nothing experience real love

She's cute. But this getup is not necessary

Lol, i actually continued reading thinking it was the same post.

Dumb, Ma.

Just paid 100k for mine

Women cling to their source of income for security. Her money is her defence.
Have you made your wife feel insecure in any way? In fact, it might not even be you. All the negative news about marriages of today make participants very defensive, especially women.
If only we realise that ur marriage is urs and urs alone. You make what u want of it.

Pension funds is different from funds in his accounts. The bank must make available to u , the funds in your dad's account with union bank. You have to treat this separately from pensions. Dont confuse yourself.

Well, people that commit suicide are the most selfish, self obsessed people in this world. Just look at the reasons you wrote out. You are a foolish and ungrateful child.. You passed waec and so, did ur parents fail theirs?
Get off your own mind girl..
Leave ur room, stop thinking of yourself...learn to count your blessings
End your day with a thank you letter to God ..thanks for every little thing you observed for the day...
Start your day with meditation..Let light into my heart. darkness cannot comprehend light...
Let your light shine forth, girl...there is beauty in ur ashes..

Thank you. Google is dealing with me. Let me just stand with you.

angeltolly:


Continue to breastfeed ma'am, you too eat well and drink plenty fluid. Your baby will poo

How can I help my 3 day old to poop? She was born on Friday and pooped same day.. It was black and hard like pellets. Since then. No more... Please what can I do to get her to poop? Am on my way to the hospital but I font even know what to expect??

What do you want exactly? You cannot measure your progress until you are sure of your direction. Only you can say if you shouldn't have left. What do u miss in ur marriage? Are you happier now? Are u at peace? Judge yourself by yourself madam.

Ineedyouradvise:
Good day nairalanders, I had to use a new moniker.
I was married for 5years, blessed with 2 children, we dated for 1year before we got married. At a point in the marriage, domestic violence became a regular occurrence, after which he would apologize. I wouldn't say I noticed this aspect of him while dating. Of course I know I'm not perfect, but I tried my best to be the best wife to him and mother to the children.

To the main issue, there were a lot of issues that made me leave his house, he wasn't providing for his home, he works and earn well, so money wasn't his problem, I work also so I wasn't totally depending on him for everything, he hardly wants to have sex with me, I am neat as well, keeps late night, and he hits me severally. I left his house with my kids, after he hit me and left me in a pool of blood, this happened about 4months ago, but till now he hasn't called to find out about our whereabouts or to even know why I left.

I loved him so much that I endured a lot of things, but things kept getting worse,i had to leave. It's 4 months I left but only his elder brother has called once to find out what happened.
I am actually surprised he can stay this long without thinking about where his family are, probably that was what he wanted.
I never wished for my children to experience this, they keep asking me where's daddy?

Was I wrong to have left?
What necessary actions do you think I can take for him to be involved in his children's life?

N.B: both families have been involved in settling issues resulting from domestic violence severally.
He grew up with his father as his parents were separated due to some issues, leaving him and his siblings while he was barely 2years old due.

I need matured advice please.

there is no mature way of handling it.
Really you have two options;
1. bear it.
2. divorce.

1.Bear it;

I walked in you shoes for 9 years. I discovered the situation barely 2 years into the marriage when i was pregnant. Begged, cried ,etc didnt make any difference. so i started investing and saving. still didnt cheat but got happiness from my child.
sometime in 2015 , i had a debilitating accident, lost my mobility for 3 months(bless God it was temporary). My family flew me to USA and the man went to town with his slut.
With my mortality starring me in the face, when i came back. I realised i was wasting my life. I meant little to him so why bother? I refused to live the lie.I wrote him a long letter and made him realise, that all these years, i have put in my best because i know one day my kids will ask me why i left, and before God and Man , i will have a clear conscience.
I also told him that i am leaving cos one of us has to stay alive to care for the kids, since he has chosen to die.

i had seen my death stare me in the face. I knew who needed me most...my kids. so it wasnt a tough decision anymore.
to save us both the embarassment, i applied for visa to canada, both the immigration and for my masters.
i already saved up enough to sustain me for some time.

He understood the finality in mind and when i suggested a counsellor, he agreed. we went for 3 sessions , 2 separate individual sessions and a joint session.
well, that lady helped me out tremendously. I dont know what she told him, but when he came out of his session, the first thing he said was ' I didnt know you saw things that way'.
that was the beginning of a new journey into the marriage after 9 careless years. i can see that he is trying to be better now, and i appreciate his efforts. I also heard out all his pain points, and i do try to work on them. Have i forgiven ? yes. Have I forgotten? No.
Do i still love him? i will never hurt him.
do i still trust him? i will never betray him.

i am hpyer focused on the essence and gift of life, and i do not take it for granted.


my advice to you;
1. stay sweet, baby girl. stay sweet. dont be bitter, dont be sad, forget what you feel, act the part.
0. Find time to pray together as a family, even if its once a week. saturday morrnings are fine. and when you share prayer points, let him pray for his family as the head of the home.
1. the bible says, ........neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them. under their feet, and turn again and rend you. right now, you must protect your heart from further hurt, so you don't get depressed.
2. you must protect your body from diseases, if you must do, use a condom. You must live and be healthy for your child. that should be your priority..
3.Never, I repeat never slack on your appearance, dressing and spirit.take back the power he has over your state of mind and find happiness in other things.
4. Find other sources of joy, and immerse yourself in it.
5. Love is an action word. Play that part to him, it must not be genuine. Just play the part. Hugs, kisses, TLC etc. Just try, you mustnt feel it to act it. that is where the fake lovers outside thrive.
6. save, work, save, invest , save. Money is power. Money is freedom.
7. If you are a professional, check out canada, it has a lot of options to explore.You can go under the guise of masters, and test run being on your own.
8. Explore all options to save your marriage. Dont ignore a bad marriage. Keep pushing for solutions, while you save money. try counsellors, engage him. talk, write, etc. Just keep engaging him on it but dont be antagonistic. try and be logical and factual about it.
so that you know you have given your best .... it is easy to feel guilty when you walk away even though you did nothing wrong in the union.
9. give yourself a timeline, if after all your effort there is no change, then you are prepared to move on in all good conscience.

God will give you the strength .

still available??

Saadd.
@OP,

can you just forget about yourself and put yourself in her shoes?

you have been married for 5 years...
she lost her mom 1 year into your marriage..
within the remaining 4 years, she had 3 kids...
Relocated to america(for you), away from family and friends and the stability she had in nigeria...
took up schooling...caring for the kids... taking care of the home...do you provide enough support in all this?


all you can do is look at her and not see the girl you married.. of course you should not see the girl you married.. you should see a wife that has made sacrifices for you and borne 3 of your children..a woman that is strongly supporting you....

Poster, she was overwhelmed..and you do not want to see or understand her(i am sure she has communicated this to you), may be if you loved yourself less, you will notice/listen to your spouse.

and then you crowned it all by cheatingg.. Of course she knows, she is not a fool... and then she realizes that she cannot trust you with her body, her heart and most of all, the rest of her life...

so she made the ultimate decision.. to stand tall , move back to nigeria and fend for herself and her children...

please note these...

while you are both toiling to make a living, keep her smiling... tease her, tickle and play while in the kitchen before you ask for sex in the bed.. she is not a generator that starts with a key... maybe you need to warm her up first..

to maintain a happy home while cheating or being selfish is not easy. Every man is doing it they say, but they will not tell you the state of their homes,cheating changes the psyche of a woman , especially one that loves you..................................

connect with your wife, if she is cold to you as usual, talk to her about her fears, her worries, does she even sleep well or night, or does she toss and turn, do u even notice?

talk to her, if it turns into a shouting match or a cold discussion, write to her.. keep writing.. in fact writing is the best... she can go back to it and reread......

i have soo much to advise , but what do I know? Maybe you both are better off apart...

God will help you

The unfortunate thing about the situation is that the roads are bad. It barely survives 2 days of rainfall without craters developing. Traffic at peak periods is unimaginable.Or do we talk about the lack of planned drainage and resultant flooding both on the express and almost all inner roads?
Also, there is no alternative. No BRT such such that if you want to leave your car, you can enter a decent public bus and get to the office. Despite the fact this is just a straight road for Bleep sake...
Ambode needs to call a townhall meeting.
This is soo disheartening..

Can someone advise on any effective way of stopping the government on this?

Very healthy. Registered at pet care opebi . Shots up to date.

.

Saw your pm but the mail is bouncing back. Please send to glogirl007@yahoo.com

InvertedHammer:


Thanks Spyder.

I sent you a message in whatsapp

Cc: glogirl

i sent u a pm.

InvertedHammer:


Send your number through.

I talked to him.


Can you get a lawyer to prepare a deed of transfer for me to sign? Or Spyder's lawyer can also handle but he is in Enugu but I am in lagos?
we will exchange the the original deed of assignments , deed of transfer and survery plans in my possession with bank draft.

InvertedHammer:


Talk to Spyder.

Let me know the arrangement.

\

yes i am.

i dont have a broker. i am selling on my own.

Spyder wil be integral to the process though. because he is the custodian of the estate.

InvertedHammer:


Still selling your plot?

Who is the broker?

/

You can also check out stonyhurst schools. It's right behind lagoon schools. Great place. The proprietor knows what she is doing. My 3rd child is there. I made the mistake of going for big schools with my first child and he got left behind. I don't make that mistake now.especially for preschools.

yes it is.
i sent u a pm.

ifyalways:

Still available

http://nairametrics.com/4-of-the-cheapest-banking-stocks-in-this-bullish-market/

Discuss

This link will help. Just saw it now...
http://nairametrics.com/this-proves-mike-adenuga-is-now-the-largest-shareholder-in-julius-berger/

SamuelSNR:


I digged up JB 2014, 2015 and 2016 AFS. Bilfinger SE holding is still intact.

Disclosure: JB makes up one of my substantial holdings.

I need a trusted individual to partner for a summer coding program for kids in lekki phase 1.

I intend to introduce the kids to simple but fun coding activities in mobile app development, website creation , raspberry pi or any other simlified coding activity.

i have a location in lekki phase 1 and we can always agree on payment structure, whether fixed or % per child.

duration should be 4 weeks only. 9am to 2pm, monday to friday.

please pm if you can handle or knows any one who can handle.

thank you.

Plot 4 up for sale in this estate. Price same as purchase price 855000. Pm me if seriously interested. Thanks.

Hello ladies,

Please is etc still in use for new born babies? I just got the one I paid for but a family friend told me it is no longer issued for newborns. I hope it's not a fake that I was issued so i don't run into trouble.

I doubt it.
Net int income yoy dipped by only 2 billion.
income from fees and commissions soared by over 7 billion.
Total exp remained virtually the same.
The biggest challenge with diamond is the poor loan portfolio. Total loan write off for the past 2 fy is over 110 billion.

Nigerian Banks are most at risk when they are politically exposed.
Skye bank went down because of political exposure. Diamond bank acquired most of their bad loans during Otti's reign, his romance with politics exposed the bank.
The Dozie prince in charge may not be the brightest chap but his risk appetite is low so no risky maneuvers. The end of the crisis is near. The constant clean up in the past 3 years will let up now and profit retention is the game.

My opinion anyway.

Tritri:


@locodemy
@DeRuggedProf

do you think diamond bank might be going the way of SKYE this year..am tinking of piking at the bottom ..advice

Thank you very much for your response. I don't need to stress anymore about it.

kodylicky:


I'm presently in LA and just finished my son's passport. .. DH got a notary lawyer to notarise the form.. It must not be done at the embassy

[Thank you nne. The confusion no be here.quote author=njidekachi post=55796554] I birth in California also and used court notorized form. it's well accepted so put ur mind at rest.

t[/quote]