₦airaland Forum

Go and ....

Why dis place dry na

Nuzo':
The pastor's quote takes the cake:

6) “Come, sit on my laps and I will show you a level of grace you do not understand.”

...and the lady came and sat. hmmm.

Hmmm.. so what next

Keneking: Biased collection...

Really

Here is the list of the worst 10 quotes of the year 2013 in the descending order.

10) “I am the best rapper in Nigeria. If you have an opposing opinion, now is the best time to keep it to yourself”

Rapper Yung6ix having his imagined Kendrick Lamar moment. Dear Yung6ix; make good music, put out an album, put your name out there. Maybe then we’ll take you seriously.

9) “Any academic staff who fails to resume on or before December 4, 2013 automatically ceases to be a staff of the institution and vice chancellors are also directed to advertise vacancies in their institutions.”

This was stated by Nyesom Wike, the Education minister, in the middle of the lingering ASUU strike. This caused even more problems and deepened the crisis. Wike's press conference during which he was screaming at the microphone and yelling threats became an instant visual manual for government officials on how not to act in public. 8

“I was not a tribalist when I had a long-standing and intimate relationship with Miss Bianca Onoh, an Igbo lady…”

Femi Fani Kayode, the former aviation minister and presidential spokesman, while he had so many disastrous statements, he got more than he bargained for when in defending himself against tribalism attacks, bizarrely claimed to have had a sizzling relationship with Bianca Ojukwu, widow of the late Biafran warlord. He was forced to recant when she threatened to sue him for every penny.

7) “We have stolen billions of dollars, what did you do? We steal because you never stoned us for it.”

Governor Rotimi Amechi of Rivers state makes provocative statements one after after another. His latest one was dropped at a tribute event for Nelson Mandela some weeks back, and it was both an indictment on himself as it was on his docile followers.

6) “Come, sit on my laps and I will show you a level of grace you do not understand.”

According to Ese Walters, repentant adultress and misguided victim, senior Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of the Commonwealth Of Zion Assembly must have been using these cringe worthy lines to score with wide-eyed members of his female congregation. The most surprising part of this line is that it actually works. His sweet roll came to an end when she published a tell all blog post revealing the pastor’s many sexcapades. Pastor Fatoyinbo is yet to deny Walters’ claims. And is yet to give that robust response.

5) “As the president, I don’t know him (Abu Shekau) and don’t know if he is dead or alive; you journalists will know more than us. You are the ones who talk to Boko Haram.”

In a presidential media chat, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan pronounced the words never to be spoken by a country’s chief security officer. In denying the whereabouts (and maybe existence) of Abu Shekau, Boko Haram’s point man, Mr. President took the war on terror 10 steps back.

4) “Yes, Patience Jonathan is my Jesus Christ!”

Now this would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. And true. Evans Bipi of the Rivers state house of assembly was speaking from the bottom of his heart when he declared dame Patience Jonathan (aka mama Peace) his deity as she was responsible for his political career so far.

3) “I cannot categorically tell you one now… the one we are going to make use of is going to be made known by my oga at the top…”

Mr Obafaiye Shem, former Lagos state commandant of the National Security and Civil Defence Corps was asked a simple straight forward question by the hosts of Channels tv’s daily breakfast show. “What is the website of the NSCDC?” It became his undoing as he went on a rambling routine that did not produce the answer to the question but succeeded in shedding light on the pathetic state of affairs of our public institutions.

2) “We do not pray for accidents but it is inevitable… we do everything to ensure that we do not have accidents, but it is an act of God.”

Stella Oduah, Aviation minister addressing journalists 3 days after 16 people lost their lives in the Associated airlines crash that was ferrying the remains of Olusegun Agagu, a former aviation minister. Of course, as it turned out, God had nothing to do with this particular crash as the Accident Investigation Bureau revealed that a malfunctioning engine and a wrong call by the pilot was most likely the cause.

1) “You are a widow… go and die”

Oh dear! Edo state governor, Comrade Adams Oshiomhole became this year’s face of insensitivity when he was recorded on video, yelling at a poor widow displaying her wares illegally by the roadside to go and die. He later had tea with his victim and rewarded her generously but still, that image lingers.

SOURCE >> http://naijapremium.com/index.php/blog/item/1089-forever-in-history-10-worst-quotes-of-2013-by-nigerian-public-figures.html

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Emzybrown

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Hhahahahahahah... somebody pls wake me up

kamura: Hey guyz. . . i was advice to open another trend amd tag it. . .The Hunted House. .

So as not to derail the original posters interest. .

I really appreciate ur contributions. . and i thank the op for giving me the platform . .

Follow me on the link below . . for full story. . . thanks

www.nairaland.com/newpost?topic=1554996

They city is Portharcourt. . Rivers state, if u care to knw the city

I think this the right link... https://www.nairaland.com/1554996/hunted-house#20214176

complete1: ASUU members are expecting d fg to formally adress them dat d money has been sent.mainwhile am still a fresh member here and i want to ask,wen an email is sent to u here do u go to ur yahoo mail box to check or der's a link on d forum in which u can click to view d mail?

yeah, you go to your yahoo mail box to check

Ozonna: I'm short of words. Onwero uzo esi aga Obosi ka nso (there's no way/road heading to Obosi that is nearer). So there's simply no end in sight to this oil theft

Thank you OP

you are wlcum bro.

Where you one of the mumus that laughed at GEJ when he called for international help to stop oil theft? Did you join the media and facebook critics who insulted our president and called him "olodo" and "clueless" for asking their help? Slap yourself twice. Done? Good!!!

America knew they would never be able to stop security operatives from allowing drugs in. The knew the simple economic truism "WHERE THERE IS DEMAND, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SUPPLY". This was true in the PROHIBITION and it will be true forevermore. And so they devised "follow the money". They passed laws and got International cooperation to declare drug trade an international crime and any moneys gotten/laundered through it was to be confiscated and shared between America and the host/domicile country. Switzerland and Luxembourg, the choice location for such moneys had to agree and that way the Escobars and and Griselda Blancos lost huge moneys to America and Switzerland and many druglords are no longer able to stay in business for long as it has become really hard to stash the cash.

This is what GEJ asks for stolen crude. It will reduce it....not end it even....just like drugs.

GEJ is pushing for crude oil theft to be added to piracy and drug trade as international crimes and so Nigeria can close down refineries in France, South Africa, China etc wherein stolen crude from Nigeria are refined. This is most "clueful" and deserving of support and applause.

Nigeria can never pay police 300 thousand per trip. WE CANNOT COMPETE, so stupid speeches that blame the remuneration of the police and army as reasons for oil theft is just silly.

EX-MILITANTS AS SECURITY

The militants employed as security can only minimize and not eliminate it. What it does is get fewer youths not to need to be crude thieves themselves and also for them to catch a bunkerer here or there...as in...stop the smaller fishes.

But like as happens with the MAFIA and arms and cocaine dealer and barons, the big fishes, the sharks, the really organized criminals will continue to do this business as crime is a step ahead of detection

ASARI, TOMPOLO AND THEIR WEALTH

If you think Asari and the Tompolos get their money from pittance paid to them as amnesty, if you have criticised this admnistration based on this, neeldown, hands up and close your eyes. You deserve to be punished.

Asari Dokuboh is a brilliant man as are Atake Tom etc. These people have young brilliant people by their side as advisers...lawyers, doctors, professors too.
These ex-militants like old MAFIA bosses have legitimized. They have started doing legitimate businesses with these oil companies.

This is the part that is killing the Hausa/Fulani who owned this racket. Their companies can no longer assure Mobil, nor Chevron, nor Shell of security and safe passage of goods...especially during the peak of militancy. Now these companies need this oil and will continue to do business even if rockets and bombs land daily. All they will do is align with those that can ensure their business goes on as their society is run by this oil.

Thus when Ken saro Wiwa opened the eyes of these Ijaws and other tribes in the creeks, Asari no longer needed his "Alhaji" and thus became his own boss and suddenly his "alhaji" was calling him sir. Man Friday has taken over from Robinson Crusoe

These companies thus deal directly with these militants/ex-militants on security....no different from how the MAFIA operates....create a security need and fill that need.

But that is not all. These oil companies like Mobil only drill. Al other inchoate businesees like House Boats, hospitality, iron fashioning, pipe-laying, diesel supply etc are contracted out. Foreign companies seeking to do business now offeer the militants as much as forty percent of profits and make them partners.

Do I hear you hiss? Was this not how Awolowo got shares in Coca Cola, or Rewane Flour Mill and so on? Does Coca Cola need Awolowo to sell their products? NO. Global companies partner with locals ad offer them equities. These equities used to be given to the "Alhajis". Now it is given to the Tom Atekes and this is ingratiating to those who have been dislodged from this opportunity.

So if you see Tom Ateke with a private jet, he may own 30 percent equity of Bloomberg Drillers, and may be the labour supplier to Anderson Glass, and is chief security officer to Mobil.

Did you say something about the security? Did you just insult the Nigerian Government's inability to provide security? Again, give yourself a knock on your head. Security is provided in main by private establishments in capitalist societies. When a Nigerian arrives in the US, the first available job to him is as security man in a private establishment. Thus Atake et al are only following global trends.

QUESTIONS TO PONDER

1. Why was Asari Dokuboh the first person Al-Mustapha went to meet having been released from jail? What business do they have together? Should they not be enemies considering Hamza Al Mustapha was Chief Security Officer during the regime of Abacha and was Asari not public enemy number one? What business I ask again did they transact together?

2. If GEJ is involved in oil theft, why is his government through Ngozi Oonjo-Iweala the first to scream about it? Why is GEJ going round trying to lobby oil theft to be declared an international crime?

3. How will you end it if you were president? Can you stop your JTF from collecting bribe in the high seas and oceans of the Niger Delta? How will you monitor them?

4. Is it not time to build the bridges that the Forcados and escravos communities need to link them together by land as was done in Lagos that has contributed little to Nigeria's commonwealth in comparison?

5. If we stop the stipend to ex-militants, can Nigeria withstand the upsurge in jobless youths in the creeks?


Tell me how you intend to end oil theft and I will call you MASTER!!!


THE END

http://theenaofugarablog..com/2013/12/all-about-stolen-crudethings-you-would.html

.YAR"ADUA AND GEJ


Now you must understand that OBJ in refusing for Odili and or Ibori to be president or vice, knew that these two individuals had too much power and money and so chose the powerless, docile GEJ to be Yar"Adua's vice.

Yar'Adua knew he had to stop this militancy which had gotten out of hand as both Abacha a military man and OBJ an ex military man's aggressive policies of engagement and killing was counter-productive. Yar"Adua saw that the country was losing billions from its reduced oil production and theft and knew he could not kill all the militants as Obasanjo tried to do in Odi which backfired both in oil production and in the eyes of the international community. So Yar"Adua proposed the perspicacious "amnesty program" which is a simple strategy to remove the majority of the youths of the Niger Delta and then he can go on to kill those who refuse to stop the militancy.

The strategy involved giving a pittance to these youths as payment and then going on to drain the oil. It worked and works still as it has led to companies returning to the creeks and oil production going back up.

Now he needed someone to broker the peace (same thing GEJ is asking of Buhari with the Boko Haram which Buhari refuses to do) GEJ went to the militants and there began his fight with Ibori.

Ibori was the only one militants listened to. People who are kidnapped even in Port Harcourt and Akwa Ibom are returned to him at Asaba. Thus Ibori was the most powerful man from the Niger-Delta, the feeders of Nigeria. Thus he wanted and indeed showed OBJ and Yar'Adua that GEJ was a neophyte and a stranger to how militancy works. He Ibori and Alamieseigha, GEJ's benefactor were the shot-callers and not this nonentity called GEJ...Vice President or not.

GEJ upon going to the militants was body-searched...told to hands up as they patted his body for guns and or wire taps. GEJ was said to have cried as he spoke Ijaw to the militants asking why they are humiliating him their own tribesman. That is he rambo that will shoot all of them?

Thus when YarAdua took the decision to bomb CAMP 5, GEJ remembering his humiliation said nothing.

Indeed, from Asari Dokubo's earlier speeches about GEJ, you will see a lack of respect that he would not dare with Ibori.

It is only now that GEJ has used the power of presidency to curtail Asari's excesses and Asari now knows to watch his statements to GEJ.

However successful the "amnesty program" has been, it has only succeeded to stop attack on oil installations and not to stop the boys from the creeks from making money. They have been exposed to the big business that oil is and really, who stops making money when he still can?

HOW THE DEALS ARE DONE

Okay, how then are these crude oil sales done? Okay check this scenario; I Ena Ofugara find Chinese here in America wanting to buy crude. I get all four of them and we arrive Warri or Yenagoa. The Chinese do not trust me as I am a Nigerian. So they never pay upfront. They keep their vessel in international waters.

Now I locate these oil sellers who have gathered enough crude from illegal refineries in Burutu, Patani and elsewhere or have cut a pipe and have drained enough to fill a vessel. I tell them I have buyers. They too do not trust me so they ask one of the four Chinese to enter their vessel and if having loaded the vessel they refuse to pay and or run off, they murder the Chinese. This is human security/collateral for their oil. They get the vessel, pulled sometimes by tugboat to international waters where the Chinese vessel is waiting and then when payment is made, the Chinese is released to them. I get my cut or I am killed...as greed and double-cross are ever present where these huge monies exchange hands.

GEJ'S CALL FOR INTERNATIONAL HELP

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