₦airaland Forum

Gurgle:
You tell me

Una no dey sleep?? thread derailer.

ojkalito:
guy why d beef with her?continue with your hands and let the Lady be ok

Who tell u say i dey beef her? And yes i jackoff wen i choose to. its not an addiction anyway coz i can go donkey days without it.

ladyF:
lol I dey book space in case it makes FP

is dat the best u can do? u must be a maggot looking for some rotten fish to hang on. Go get a knife n kill urself.

Masturbation is perfectly healthy. In fact, it has a lot of health benefits attached to it. But, like they say, excess of everything is bad! please if u are not masturbating please dnt condemn or criticise this thread. let the people who find the information useful read it. You can open a thread for that. thank u.

Here are ten signs that indicate you’re masturbating too much!


1.The first clear sign is that you’re masturbating to the extent of harming yourself. Now there’s no fixed number of times you should masturbate in a day, but if you keep going till the point you cause self-injury, you need to tone it down a little.

2.You feel a constant need to jerk off, even after you’ve already masturbated. You feela compulsive need to masturbate successively.

3.You prefer masturbation over actual sex with someone. You avoid intimacy with your partner. You’ve perfected the art to a level where nothing satisfies you more than your own hand.

4.You find it difficult to get hard-ons, even while having sex. It is probably because you’re not giving your body enough time to replenish sperm before you go at it again.

5. You’ve been with multiple sex partners and you never feel satisfied after having sex. It’s a sign that you’ve been using your hand a little too much.

6.Excessive masturbation can lead to hair loss. Now, that’s not the only reason for hair loss, but if you’ve noticed sudden hair loss, you might want to keep the masturbation in check!

7.You cannot go a day without masturbating. No matter where you are, what situation you may be in, you just cannot resist playing with your soldier.

8.A lot of times, you masturbate out of habit, not because you really feel like.

9.You’ve tried to abstain from masturbating just to see how long you can go without jerking off and you’ve given upeach time, right in the beginning.

10.One session is never enough for you. You’ve developed a habit of masturbating multiple times in a single night. If you often find yourself awake till late at night, just waiting to get it up back again so you can give it alast shot, you might have a problem here!

www.mensxp.com >HOME>HEALTH>Sexual Health

RickRichards:
10 years from now, being gay will be the new cool, and the very essence of human society, distorted!

my broda..as in enhh..i dnt knw wat to think again.

Nigerian brand expert and vociferous gay man, Kenny 'Brandmuse' Badmus,has reiterated in very strong terms that being a homosexual is the best thing to have happen to him and if he ever comes back to this life, he will still be gay.
Brandmuse who came out last to declare his sexuality and his HIV status, took to his Facbook page to make his new stand.
See what he wrote:
"When I come back to this world, if I'm allowed (don't laugh, some come back as goats and some as Donald Trump), I'd like to come back as a gay man.

This time around, I would ensure my parents saw it in my forehead.
I wouldn't hide in the crowd. I wouldn't live in anyone's shadows. I would date men in the open. Someone like Babangida or someone as cute as Justin Fashanu.

I would try my best to avoid 'risky sex' in the secret that might lead to being infected with STI and HIV.
There wouldn't be any shame in my game.
And when I joined Facebook, I would put it in my cover picture.
CAUTION: This guy is gay! gay!! gay!!! Bigots beware. And my name? It would be 'Gay-hin-de"

Meanwhile, while I'm still here in this hate-filled world, I will ‪#‎live‬ my best life."

http:///1KANP6h

i stumbled on this story about a nurse's experiencd with sick people on their deathbed and i thought it might make an interesting read for you folks. Here is the story...

Many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing thatit was due to choices they had made, or not made.It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spokeof this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along theway, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace withothers. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you changethe way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendshipsthe time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary toever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, loveand relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They hadstayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

http://inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html

Crap..farts on the thread n walks away.

The ibibios have been producing outstanding intellectuals like this frm time..Go check history. We were one of d first to have western education in nigeria.But being a minority tribe our achievements hav been ignored n swept under the carpet because the bigger tribes ignorantly assume they own Nigeria. For dat reason, it is either theirs or it is not gud enough for publicity or recognition.

They ve succeeded in siphoning all d dividends of our natural resources n become the boss while we run around wit the humble offices.

But u knw wat? the good Lord is answering our prayers. The days of Ekaette d housegirl n Akpan the gatemen is becoming a thing of the past. Now the world is getting to knw us also. We ar flying on eagle's wings!

Long live Akwa ibom!
Akwa ibom isongo!

DjAndroid:
Search the forum before creating a new thread. We have extensively discussed this here .

llies from the pit of hell. this is not the one in japan

Miss Christiana Esio Okwong Udoh, was offered a Doctorate scholarship after she emerged the best graduating student in her Master’s programme at the Imperial College, London.A Nigerian teenager, Miss Christiana Esio Okwong Udoh, has been offered a Doctorate scholarship after she emerged the best graduating student in her Master’s programme at the Imperial College, London.Christiana was awarded Master’s degree in Advanced Chemical Engineering at the College's 2014/2015 convocation ceremony.The Akwa Ibom indigene was on a scholarship awarded by the Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC) and now has an opportunity to get her Doctorate on another scholarship.Her father, Hon. Esio Okwong Udoh, a former member of the House of Representatives, told Vanguard that his daughter has always been outstanding academically."[She] is only repeating what she had done in 2012" recalling that as a student of Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology in Kumasi, Ghana, in 2012, her daughter had dwarfed others toemerge one of the best in her department," the proud father said."She polled the best result ever scored by a female student since the institution was established in 1959."He said Christiana was the best as a pupil at Air Force Secondary School, Akwa Ibom, where she won 15 of the 21 available academic prizes and the NNPC Science Quiz, amongst other feats.


source: http://pulse.ng/student/imperial-college-london-nigerian-teenager-gets-phd-scholarship-for-emerging-best-masters-student-id3797074.html

There is no need to panic. Just get close to him n find out wat kinda nigga he is. if he is d kind that cud promote u fast or place u well in d company then just play along wit him.

He might be the one who needs ur d**k in his ass and not the oda way round. wateva is d case, dnt be heady afteral sleeping wit him isnt gonna take away d straight man in u....

btw, all dis ppl shouting "cover ur ass" are very funny n filled wit hypocrisy. i mean, wat does it matter? man or woman, wont u f**k your way to the top if given the opportunity rather than die in poverty?

pliz send it to me. etuk_victor@yahoo.com

If it is possible that Oshiomole is 31 years older than his new wife then it isalso possible that my own wife isnt even born yet. infact my father in law and mother in law never even marry sef. lmao!

rIf it is possible that Oshiomole is 31 years older than his new wife then it isalso possible that my own wife isnt even born yet. infact my father in law and mother in law never even marry sef. lmao!

A female B.ed or Bsc holder who is smart n can apply good practical knowledge in teaching d above subject is needed in a good private sch in ph. call me for details. O8065130886. This vacancy is urgent

swaggzo:
TWO THREADS. .
SAME ISSH. ...


OP WHAT'S UP?
YOU'RE JUST ON YOUR FIRST BOTTLE AND YOU'RE ALREADY THIS HIGH? ??

no bro, am not high at all. Na network ish. i am gonna close d oda thread

Lala247:
Hector are u ok

U got two same threads

mistake. lets use d oda thread. dont even knw hw to close dis one

Cutehector:
abeg, wateva ur doin, no spoil market for me..

Cool down my guy. are u planning to buy over this place frm seun? wich one come be no spoil my market? u dey sell goods for here? dnt be scared, me na correct guy. dnt knw abt u

Cutehector:
Who is dis person bearin same name wid me ?

see dis nigga. and who told u d name "hector" is exclusive to u in nairaland or anywhere else. You ar funny o. come to think of it, i registered in nairaland long before u. No p shaa. welcome my namesake.

MzNelly:
Lol.
You stayed in church for hours for a babe?

Lol, the thirst is real

it was just a one hour service.

Nairalanders. This particular one is beyond me o
i dnt want to piss her off thats y i dnt wanna be in a hurry. she is matured lady.
i have called her this evening buh she didnt pick d call. i am torn between asking for a date or just keeping d calls going for some days till i get to knw d kinda person she is n wat wud trip her.

how do u mean? i dnt want her for sex, bro. i called her shaa dis evening buh she didnt pick d call.

how do u mean? i dnt want for her sex, bro. i called her shaa dis evening buh she didnt pick d call.

I met this lady yesterday in the evening while returning frm work. I really admired her although i think she is much older than me. Smhw, we got into d same taxi n eventually we dropped at d same spot. since d driver couldnt find fifty naira change for me n her,he gave her 100naira for the both of us.

i wud have let go of d money buh i smhw felt that was a gud opportunity to get talking wit her. i started by asking her where she was going n she pointed at a church around d corner. well, fastforward, she bought some sweets n we got the change we were looking for. in a bid to get friendly, i asked her for d sweet n she politely gave me some n left before i cud say "Jack".

At dat point, i thought d only option i had left was to follow her to d church of which i did. Gladly, when i got there it was a church i use to attend so i went in immediately n got a seat behind her.

After service, i walked up to her n told her hw much i admired her n hw i wud love to be her friend. She said "ok" n i asked for her number n she gave me. i called her when i got home so she cud get my number.

I am not a novice buh this is my first time to woo a lady that is much older than me.
My problem is that, i dnt knw wat next to do. i dnt wanna appear too slow or too desperate. pliz advice

I met this lady yesterday in the evening while returning frm work. I really admired her although i think she is much older than me. Smhw, we got into d same taxi n eventually we dropped at d same spot. since d driver couldnt find fifty naira change for me n her,he gave her 100naira for the both of us.
i
i wud have let go of d money buh i smhw felt that was a gud opportunity to get talking wit her. i started by asking her where she was going n she pointed at a church around d corner. well, fastforward, she bought some sweets n we got the change we were looking for. in a bid to get friendly, i asked her for d sweet n she politely gave me some n left before i cud say "Jack".

At dat point, i thought d only option i had left was to follow her to d church of which i did. Gladly, when i got there it was a church i use to attend so i went in immediately n got a seat behind her.

After service, i walked up to her n told her hw much i admired her n hw i wud love to be her friend. She said "ok" n i asked for her number n she gave me. i called her when i got home so she cud get my number.

My problem is this, i dnt knw wat next to do. i dnt wanna appear too slow or too desperate. pliz advice

@op. tanx for this thread. nw i knw d meaning of my name in ibibio. I will rather go with Andikan than Victor. i don dey find native name since, today i don find am. na andee or andre go be the short form.

hmmm...it is not easy for guys who hav experienced molestation to talk abt it. It can be painful or even shameful. Anyway i was a victim n i will tell my story despite the pain i feel inside.

i was a cute kid during my secondary sch days yrs ago. I moved into a boardin sch when i was age 13. I just entered into snr class that time.

In my class i was one of d youngest. I was petite n naive as well. In my hostel i met senior students who wre very fond of me. One of them later became my sch father.

Cutting the long story short, We became very close n he use to take very gud care of me becos he was frm a wealthy background. To be sincere that was the best time i had back then in sch.

One day soon after resumption for a new term. Many peopl had not not resumed, so the hostels wre largely empty. It was particularly worse in my own hostel so i had to spend the night wit him in his own hostel.

After we had taken our bath we jumped into bed n whoom..i slept off only to be awoken at some point in d night by my sch father. He was kissing my hand. Half asleep, i cud feel his tongue licking through the skin of my tommy. i came into full conciousness wen i felt his lips on mine. I smelt his breath n i awoke quickly.

i spat like twice on the floor. Disgusted, i felt my stomach rumble. A strong feeling of nausea overwhemled me. I looked up, n everywhre was dark. i cud barely see his face as i began whimpering n fuming wit anger.

I am too ashamed...i wil continue

.

@mostylish. 30k. buh is it a must dat one has to get a new job b4 quitting d old one? i mean it cud happn both ways.

I am graduate n i have been on this teaching job for more than a year nw. Apart from managing to feed myself which i am not even able to do properly, the rest of my salary goes into buying basic necessities lik soap, haircut, recharge cards, Tfair, offerings etc etc. I HAVE NO SAVINGS!

i cant pay for a decent accomodation. i am living in my sister's property. n right nw i just hate the way things are going for me.

Infact i feel lik i am jus keeping myself busy with littl or nothing to differentiate myself from people that are not even working.

i hav been trying to get a beta job buh its not forthcoming. the job isnt giving me anytime to do oda things that cud fetch me money. i work lik a horse. i dnt even have time to search for beta jobs or develop myself in anyway. it seems like i am just stalked.

The truth is, i am fed up working for ppl. i will prefer to do bizness, go back to sch n further my education or acquire a skill.
i dnt have any gud money to support myself when i leave d job buh i am convinced things will get beta.

Pliz i need some matured advice. no joke.