₦airaland Forum

...

Easy friends. Let us understand individual differences and live peacefully. Some of us are easily scared away by insults.

I think this is where I belong.

The thousands of “Amen” that followed the prayer were disturbing as I scrolled up to ensure I saw the prayer right. Now, the Danfo conveying me and other passengers headed for the bridge that led to the mainland that busy evening. The moment was a very hectic one for me, considering the conventional lies of a typical Lagos conductor who would chant “one more passenger”, where actually eight more are needed to fill up the bus, then to the indiscriminate hooting of the vehicles. Soon, the thought of the moment was overtaken by the knowledge of having to wake as early as 4:am the following morning to queue with other athletes in the race of life, to the realization that I would one day tell my unborn children that the traffic congestion in Lagos also has its share of some precious moments of my life. It goes on and on. This is Lagos or maybe Nigeria is more apt.

As expected, the bus halted after moving for few seconds due to the traffic congestion. Right on my left shoulder, her head sought solace as the old woman was forced by nature to have a rhythmic snore in the hot danfo. While some passengers saw the moment as an avenue to discuss the regularity or otherwise of the Ekiti election, some were staring at my newly adopted “danfo mother” who would probably not prefer a better resting place to my left shoulder. Some were quick to launch offensive statements at the government of the day for their personal woes; the others were the mute type. Ordinarily, I should have been in the class of the mute ones but I was not, although I was silent but a lot was going through my mind. Who is the poor old woman by my side? Where does she live? What about her children? Why would she be working at her age or perhaps where was she coming from at 9pm in the night? When no answer appeared to be coming, I concentrated on my phone and now the “Amen” comments were almost thirty seven thousand in less than twenty minutes and I was wondering what would happen to America if thirty seven thousand Nigerians eventually travelled down there only in the month of June as the pastor prayed.

This is Nigeria, big people, great nation. This is Nigeria where we believe so much in the existence of a Supreme Being that we expect Him to do the smallest of things for us, we expect Him to put our breakfast on the table, join us in plotting the downfall of our perceived enemy and even bring down our boss to get us promoted. The list continues. It is not limited to any religion; the two dominant religions share it. If you can take the pain to go close to some Nigerians, be it a Christian or a Muslim and hear what they demand God to do all in the name of prayers, you may be standing trial for murder if you are the short tempered type. These people are worse than the problem of Nigeria itself, they cannot strike a balance between God and a common magician commanding the presence of trivial things and creating illusion through a magic wand. To them, they stand to show the magnificence of the Omnipotent by calling on Him for everything even without making an effort. It is the doctrine and habit of a person blended in the existence of God to commit all his doings to God’s hands but this category of believers are different. They want a good job, but they will neither apply for any nor strive to meet the requirements, they want a better Nigeria but they will neither perform their civic responsibilities nor obey the laws of the land but they can break laws and inflict injuries to get to a religious gathering on time. They are the leaders, they bow before every Pastor and Imam to be blessed to be a successful leader, but they will never consider the interests of the followers. How pathetic are the children of the sleeping god!

On January 1st 2014, while scrolling down my Facebook page to observe posts and comments of my friends, I came across an update of a popular church where the pastor prayed against unemployment, inconsiderate government policies, violence and poverty. In less than an hour, thousands of Amen followed the post. I am sure of one thing; among those Amen chanters, some wanted unemployment to be a past thing in their life but they neither have the academic requirements nor engage in any menial labour; some want violence to get eroded away from our nation, but he will still punch several people on the face for trivial issues after typing that Amen, the affluent among the Amen singers are close to the Government. In fact, they are given the duty of executing some of the harsh policies-they will not tell the Government the policies are villainous or inconsiderate but they will type Amen on the social networks and yell same in the places of worship. They are ready to shout Amen to prayers against bad governance and lose their voices in the process, yet they will rather exchange their votes for bags of rice instead of voting to achieve good governance. They are the children of the sleeping god!

Again, few days back, I came across another post by a pastor who prayed that anybody that types Amen would not labour to succeed, he further said they shall not strive to make it. The pastor forgot, he forgot that before the green grasses become adorable in our sights, the seed was buried under the soil; the seed was denied seeing the light, but it endured the hard moment and eventually blooms. He forgot that before the sun radiates to beautify the day, it took it the patience to plan and wait for the moon throughout the night. He forgot that before the world came to existence, it took God six days to work it out. He forgot that magical successes are best appreciated in teenager’s novel. He forgot that the road to success is full of roughs, curves and toughs. The pastor forgot; he forgot that for the sea to flow, water molecules must accelerate under the influence of a force. A true Christian or Muslim understands this, but the children of the sleeping god do not.

Neither the Bible nor the Quran preaches a magical style of doctrine or the type that calls on God to leave serious minded people and make a lazy sleeper and hypocrite wake to a fulfilled world. The models in both religions were noted for hard work, focus and determination. I wonder who started the abuse of Amen and how majority got infected. It is not uncharacteristic to call on God to help after one has played his part. A jobless man cannot wake one morning to be offered appointment in a firm he neither applied to nor show interest in working for. Such can only happen if he did the required before going to bed. No amount of shouting of Amen would move God to help a man who does not deserve one. God is neither blind nor deaf, so the shout of Amen to me nears an insult to his person than a prayer we take it to be. As a matter of fact, it suffices to think it, and leave him to do it, as long as we have what it takes to get it. By shouting that Amen, by indication, one is either talking to a deaf god or a sleeping one. God hears the most silent of whispers and even the thoughts of the heart. It is only the sleeping God that needs to be attracted by noise and not the all sufficient Creator we are all in awe of.

Hidentity is an African.

The night was intolerably cold as they were led towards the prickly paths by the mysterious men. It was a dance: a dance with the fiend on the stage of vagueness, unlike the dusk she complained to her mother about her aching feet on the way to the gently sinuous river, she dare not make her silent pains known to the beasts adjoining her. It was an endurance trek, one to unveil a tentative upshot, one that did not give a weary partaker the autonomy to opt out, unlike the liberty to seek respite under the motherly mahogany tree by the school rattan fence after a good-humored chase by friends. It was a rough push and pull by the burlesques of men leading the march, distinct from the familiar touch of her father and the hands that once held so gentle and close. It was an escapade of duress cocooned in a revelation of mysteries. The night they were led out of Chibok was a swing from an already ailing nation to an uncertain destination.

Every night, she is made to sleep amidst the unsympathetic treatment meted to her by the irrepressible ecological status she could neither decline nor endure. She sits helplessly on the sand in expectancy of a reason to see going home as a possible ambition, she goes to her bed made of shrubs and wild leaves with just a tiny ripple of hope. The hope that the daily tears shed by her loving mother could do a liberating magic, she silently hopes that the consistent distressing heaves of her father could appeal to the heart of the heartless brutes; she doggedly hopes that the collective concern of the evenhanded civilian could do wonders. She thought a nation owes her citizens a duty of care but now, she seems to hold a wrong view. She was taught that the priority of a good government is the welfare of its people but she came to a nation where things work the other way. She knows that a coherent and capable leader do not get browbeaten to act when his followers are threatened but in her country, that is a one-time tale. Again, she woke today to be led further and farther into the horrifying jungle. Last night, she hoped the leaders of her fatherland could regain credibility through buying her freedom, she thought taking her back home would debunk the rumour that the master of the ship is clueless but there she is. The poor Chibok girl woke again to suffer from the dividend of a meager government led by a pitiful opportunist without an iota of human feelings or empathy.

Back home, under a big tree very close to a hut, a dejected woman sat helplessly. She was facing the direction the van took while conveying her only daughter to an unknown land. From her countenance, one could easily deduce her unspoken words which was something near “take me and let my girl go, I am no relation of the government”. Then, few metres away from her was another old woman sobbing uncontrollably, the last time she changed her dress was the day her only daughter left for school. Many questions were written on her face which no one could answer. Where exactly is my only daughter? What is happening to her right now? Was she given breakfast this morning? Is there any hope of her return? Then she concluded in a rhetorical manner “why did I live this long to witness the odd?” Every rational man at the scene would be moved to cry except a typical Nigerian politician. Just as people were about to leave the compound, there was a sudden wail from the neighbourhood. Immediately, the catastrophic news followed it. She died, one of the poor Nigerian mothers whose daughter was kidnapped died of heart attack. Could it have been because the President did not even visit the affected families? Or because the President said no one should cry to him for the abducted girls? I still don’t know.

In their bedrooms and comfort zones, they equate themselves with the common man who could only lend his voice to the call. To one’s utmost dismay, the regal scallywag with the command tone as to when, where and how the security facilities should be diverted cowardly and in an utterly insensate manner jumped out of the ring of reality to disappear amidst ring side audience. In his not well thought out and reasoning bereaved analysis, he knows the perpetrator and it is a plot to frustrate his government. Sir, where is your type of administration called governance? It is called a drama. Not even a drama; dramas are well thought out, arranged in a logical sequence, worth sticking to and agreeing with. Your government is a joke; you are the chief of clowns. For the other side, it is an opportunity to score cheap political points and identify flaws in the ways of the boss but for the sake of that innocent girl suffering as a result of your impunity, please drop that board with the “#bring back our girls”. You stole enough from the people; invest some of it in the search for our girls. You have the influence to push your relatives in any office they desire; use the influence to rescue the Chibok girls. In the absence of that, stubborn Nigerians like me do not see the mere placards you carry as a sign of seriousness or readiness to do better. So, act right or drop the placards for the people who could only contribute with carrying placards. You have more to give than ranting on the media that you deserve an opportunity to do better than the failed master. If you can do better, show us now.

Hidentity is an African

Ethnicity and religion are two of the factors that define the diversity in our existence as a nation. While the first is strictly an incidence of birth, the other could be an incidence of birth or a matter of choice. That one finds himself among a caliber of people at birth is not a crime since it is simply an act of God. Nonetheless, out of celebrated ignorance, we fail to realize our diversities should not be subjected to sentimental surgery in the theatre of shallow thoughts; we have thrown caution into the air. The boy born in the North cannot embrace his brothers in the East, while the Southerners dare not walk freely in the Eastern regions. Things fall apart, the centre becomes invisible.The ignorance has deteriorated so much that when an issue on terrorism is raised; we are quick to point a finger of guilt to the nearest Muslim, when aggression and violence is discussed as a threat to the unity our nation longs for; we chant that the Hausa are at the vanguard of the vices. To us, Igbo people are the pioneer of fraudulent and dubious acts while the Yoruba tribe comes to mind when one needs a perfect example of a dishonest and deceitful tribal group.

As a Muslim man, approach a typical Christian lady for a relationship that would lead to marriage and watch out for the countenance and reply. At that point, you are in for the intellectual torture of your life as innocent biblical injunctions would be murdered to corroborate bogus and laughable position born out of no logical basis but ignorance. Try it, I mean if you are an emblematic Christian man, seek a Muslim lady’s hand in marriage and hear her tell you what even the Prophet did not envisage in His teachings. It is so ironical that the need for peace, unity and love are the ready topics these calibers of Tartuffes are always ready to preach anywhere they go. It is like granting a person the freedom of life and telling him not to breathe. I wonder where the concept of national unity and peace we lament is absent will come from when we go about hunting for a flying fish in the sky. I was once in a gathering where a lady commented that a good Christian versed in the Biblical teachings would never see a reason to marry a Muslim. I wonder what Jesus Christ did wrong to warrant such a twist in His teachings.

We have made ourselves so inherently low in orison that we do not know that if a person caught in the act of terrorism claims to be a Muslim, it is not because of his religion that he took to violence but because of the brutal nature inherent in him as a person irrespective of his religion. Our collective ignorance has degenerated to a stage where we think we can place religions and ethnic groups on a chart and match crimes peculiar to each. If a Hausa man is arrested for attacking another man in a lone place, it is not that Hausa people are violent or heartless; it is because of the beast nature inherent in every man which he had failed to curb. I was saddened when a colleague told me a Muslim is more likely to be involved in an act of terrorism than a Christian, while Christians are more often than not guilty of indecency than Muslims. That is how foolish it can get.

I have ran out of patience in expectation of the day we would realize that the mystery behind our birth, the strong bound between us and people we grow to know and the sacrifice we are ready to render to make them happy should also accrue to our brothers and sisters from the other parts of the country. No one brings his father, mother and siblings from heaven, yet we grow to adopt them as an integral part of our lives. Why then is it hard to adopt someone just because of his religion background and ethnic group? You are an Igbo man today; your great grandchild may be the leader of a Yoruba community tomorrow. You are the choir mistress in a renowned church today; your grandson may become the Chief Imam of a mosque tomorrow. Today, you are a Hausa woman; your next three generations may be exclusively Yoruba. Why then are we unreasonably determined to dig the grave our unborn children will come to be buried with impunity?

To an extent, we have grown generally myopic that we no longer dwell on merit and credibility in choice making. As long as he is a Yoruba man; he has the South-West, as long as his name is Muhammed; all Muslims will support him, as long as he is from the North; the Northerners will follow him, as long as she is Ngozi; she is sure of securing a job at Emeka’s company, so far his name is Goodluck; all Christians must vote for him. We do not care about the credentials or the nature of the task that lies ahead of the man we want to choose. Someone was once quoted to have said “You will rot in hell if you do not vote your Muslim brother”. Wait; which hell? Is it the one he prepared? What if there is no hell?Is it about the Muslim brother or the competent Muslim brother? Is it about the church going Sister Blessing or the pious and modest Sister Blessing? Is it about Danjuma from the North or the credible Danjuma from the North? It is not always about where one is; it is about what one is doing there. A Christian never thought the sermon that would change his life for good would be preached in a Mosque and a Muslim never thought his life transforming blessing would come from a Pastor. Unfortunately, lives have been wasted in the quest for the wrong causeand blindly orchestrated struggles.

A Muslim friend was heavily criticized on his Facebook wall by another group of Muslims on the 1st day of January, 2014. The reason for the insult and criticism was so unfounded and strange. The team of over-knowledgeable people condemned my dear friend for saying "Happy new year"and celebrating with his Christian friends. I know that the Islamic calendar is quite different from the Western one Christians have adopted but should the difference pave way for condemning a person forthe side he believes in or for wishing a fellow human well?Definitely, if thesereligion stone throwers are asked to tell us the date, they proceed to tell usthe Western one we all admit. It is now safer to conclude that anytime a celebratory clatter arises on a religion basis, those in the other religion seek to spoil the moment for those involved with stupid self-constructed philosophies and derisory analysis. Shhh! Learn to close your criticizing big mouths and follow the gloriousmessages of the Bible and noble teachings of theQuran like a reasonable person you ought to be. No matter how good or convinced he is about his side, a wise person will not adopt violence or pressure to win people to his side, it is done with the example you lay with your life style and not loose-talking strategies. A well-behaved pagan is better than an unrepentant Church-goer. Being a Muslim or a Christian is not an automatic ticket to God's side, abiding by the laws of God and showing love to people irrespective of the diversities is the key.

As a person, the writing skill and literal erudition I exhibit today were discovered by a Muslim friend. He was aware of my religion and did not for once see that as a bar to motivate and inspire me. Interestingly, he does not write, but he made a first class in Law.Mr. Fanatic, has his discovery about me affected his life adversely because I am a Christian? Has that prepared a place for him in hell because he discovered a hidden potential in a Christian? Now, I write not just for Muslims to read, but also Christians, Traditional worshippers, Pagans, Hausas, Yorubas, Igbos, Nupe, Kanuri, Ibiobio, Ebira etc. Exactly one of the reasons Iwould never join the bandwagon of people making religion a basis for helping another. If you see me attend a Mosque for the union of a Muslim friend and his wife in future and you are aggrieved, it will do you better to shut up than allow me call you a certified hypocrite and world class mediocre that you are. If you are a Muslim and I approach you tomorrow for employment and you said No because I am a Christian, it is your loss: a great loss indeed! You would be the one to lose a vibrant, competent, dynamic, promising and industrious young manin your firm. Don't even think you can substitute me; I am one of a kind, so the loss will beirredeemably bad.

To my Christian readers, your Sunday worship song is not different from a mere ranting and packaged brouhaha if you cannot treat your Muslim neighbours right, to my Muslim readers, you are only polluting the Mosque on Fridays and wasting time if religion is a condition precedent beforeyou render help to a needy. Forget that you pay your tithe and that you send people on pilgrimage to the Holy lands because that does not expunge the fact that you are irresponsible and intolerable. To my Hausa, Igbo and Yoruba friends that cannot embrace each others, I think you should be categorized among the global natural disasters like Tsunami, earthquake, flood etc.

Finally, I am a Yoruba, it is likely I meet an Igbo lady reading this; I may get to like you. I would surely make my intention known. You are free to tell me “No” for any reason because I know you have the freedom of choice and I appreciate that. However, if you tell me “No” because I am a Yoruba boy, I will give birth to a daughter and name her after you one day. By doing that, I would be showing you I am old enough to give birth to you.

Hidentity is an African

Sometimes this year, our President who doubles as a Ph.D holder said stealing is not corruption. In fact, Sanusi lied when he alleged that $49.8 billion was missing. The reason is simple; America will know if that money is missing!

On a plinth of thought few days back, I reached a debatable conclusion that the problem of leadership in Nigeria is only tangential to the issues at hand. The primary problem with our nation lies in the followers. Here is the reason; ethnicity and religion violence are two of the major problems leading the ship of the "Niger area" to the iceberg. The peculiarity of these two factors constituting threats is only among us, the masses of Nigeria. It will be observed that when the conflict of interest arises among "our leaders", it is hardly on the religion of a candidate or his ethnic group.

They know embezzlement and other administrative vices will be possible for them under any Obasanjo, Shagari or even Okadigbo. The noise of religion or ethnic group as a basis for electing our leaders is majorly the common man's habit. It will not even favour us now because no one is ready to count our fair votes let alone ones blotted with ethnicity and religion sentiments. Trust me, the results of most Nigerian elections are according to the book of "the highest bidder" or gospel of "the ruling party". All the electoral officers need do is read it to the "helpless Nigerian congregation" That is an issue for another day.

Few days back, the authority in South Africa was reported to have impounded a private jet with $9.3 million in cash. Since then, every hour comes with a new revelation with no tangible fact to convince even a person with half brain. The political mysteries have been dwindling from ownership of the private jet in question, to the ownership of the $9.3 million cash, the mission in South Africa and so many other revelations. As usual, this is about Jonathan; flimsy explanation is a core value of his government. For Jonathan, power is a drink laced with illusion. When he takes it, he sees a wall between today and tomorrow. So, why should he bother about the uncertain tomorrow?

Nigerians are about to be played again; like in Bankole's case, like in the case of Farouk Lawan, like in Stella Oduah's case and other high profiling cases notorious for their alarming impunities. The stage is set; I suspect Nigerians will neither be played like football nor the usual hockey. It will be tennis this time around. The lawn is set, President Jonathan has his racket at one side and the CAN man, pastor Oritsejafor takes the other side. I see Jonathan tossing the ball to see how hard he should hit it and Pastor Oritsejafor is more than ready to play the game. Not even an inquiry committee will get to the root of this or will our so called law makers reject their shares for the cover up.

Again, we will be battered with lies and cheap propaganda. Pastor Ayo won't appeal to the sense of Nigerians with logical explanations. Rather, he would appeal to the nature of some Christians who will think leaving him for a collective scrutiny is in contravention of the "touch not my anointing" verse. The TAN ambassadors won't stop their dance of humour and cacophony to appeal to Mr. Transformation to say it as it is. Ali Modu Sheriff will not run short of his crocodile tears to appeal to some Muslims too. In few days time, any dissent on the perceived gullible excuse of Mr. President will be seen as a plot to frustrate the naturally frustrated government. Here is where the problem of followership begins.

Pastor Oritsejafor made his noise when the insurgents attacked our Christian brothers, the Muslims lamented when the wave of terrorism hit the places of worship and affected our dear Muslim friends. Now is the time for us to collectively ask Mr. President and the CAN man the questions that matter most. They know our weakness and they would apply it. There will be an attempt to make us feel Christians owe Pastor Oritsejafor a duty of immunity from explanation, the Niger-Deltans will be expected to back Jonathan from this heat of centenary flaw while Modu Sheriff will cry out the entire water in his belly if that will draw sympathy from his tribe. Are we still ready to answer the name gullible?

I recently saw a billboard in the city of Abuja with the picture of the bombed Nyanya motor park and the inscription "True Nigerians are not terrorists, this too shall pass". This is the time for Mr. President, Mr. Ali Modu Sheriff, Mr. Ihejirika and Pastor Oritsejafor to tell us something. In Baba Soyinka's word, what we suffer is the wage of impunity and it must stop.

Whichever way, this too shall pass but let it be known that if the Government has an axe to grind, one day we will all say; it is good luck ran out on Jonathan. Inaction will extend the tentacles of this danger just as patience entitles one to good things.

Hidentity is an African.

There is something happening in the life beyond here; it is something no man can beat his chest that he is sure of. We are left at a cross-road with the imagination of how our final destination will be, but it is just a guess game. There is more to the place where we will "never grow old" and we need make enquiries if there is no more to the tormenting fire. We have questions, but the right people to ask would not answer. For them to be qualified to answer the questions that matter most, they must lie lifeless and bid the transient things of this world goodbye. But once they do that, they are no longer qualified to answer us, though they know what we do not know. The dead sure knows.

In life, one can only live in either of two ways: to live by the moment or with a long term ambition. It takes wisdom to live by the moment; the wisdom that the next second may not be ours, that just in a speed of light our end may come. It takes faith to live with long term ambition and plan. As a matter of fact, a man does not start losing it when he hurts the next man or steals from another, he starts losing it when he sees breathing as his entitlement. At that point, that feeling of entitlement transmogrifies into becoming an ingrate. We think we have the abundance of it, but somewhere, our lives fade slowly like the tobacco in a pipe. To have a long term dream is laudable in the face of man, but deep inside, something tells that such plan is built on folly if we take a moment to think about the life after this.

Success is bias in nature; even hard work does not guarantee it. Death is impartial, through different modes; it will one day take all of us to the life beyond. Death deserves a better preparation than any ceremony or interview we may think of, its amazing nature lies in the unwillingness to give a second chance. Life will never place us even; even the man who has all believes he is not where he wants to be but death has the answer, it does not care where or what we want to be. Without our consent, one day it will place us all where we ought to be. It is the mysterious vehicle that conveys to the life beyond here.

Originally, a distinctive nature of our religious institutions is that they remind of the life beyond. To me, the idea of “10 ways to succeed in life” making a sermon in a Church or Mosque seems ignorant of what will become of the success the application of such sermon may achieve. We have spent six days chasing the world; we want wealth, we want the best spouse, we want fame, we want laurels, we want power, we want children, we want everything that would not last. On that Sunday or Friday, we should be made to go through a sober reflection of what will become of us in the life beyond. This culture is slowly fading away. In fact, it is a common mistake to believe a regular visit to the places of worship on these special days alone is an automatic ticket to a comfortable trip and welcome to the life after this. No, the knowledge of the teachings without application expands the scope of our guilt and eligibility for the lashes reserved for the culpable.

I am puzzled that we are not equipped with the most important of knowledge, if we are; we are not applying it as we ought to. We appear unbothered by the fact that we only live today to leave tomorrow. This is a message we should see in every engagement and dealing. In our homes; moral orientation takes priority, in our school; we are equipped with things we need to compete with our contemporaries while the street teaches us to wise up. Everything sums up to technically make us the educated persons we are. It is however ironic that we still lack in the knowledge of the most essential and negligent of the beseeching questions like: what will be our stand in the life after this? Does our concept of right and wrong tally with the one obtainable there? Of what use will our excessive race for a share of the crescent avenue be in the world beyond? Are we going to sleep eternally here to wake to a shocking revelation like some late ancestors probably did? These questions are entreating. The answer cannot come from the schools of life and the struggles of this world. It is not about the payment of tithe, it demands more than the holy pilgrimage, it is not about our membership in the choir and is not about our trousers not extending beyond the ankle. The answer mocks our status and the prizes we won in our worldly race. The dead sure knows but we don’t…

Hidentity is an African.

Last week, I was on the students' union page of University of Ilorin. I noticed a particular post that asked a kind of begging question about why it is seen as wrong for a lady to "ask a guy out." I paused to read through the plethora of comments that followed, but what ought to be an issue for a deep reflection and intellectual submission was battered with juvenile contributions by suspected freshers.

For a start, I must say that typical African orientations are noble. However, there are some that obviously did not take the human nature into consideration and on the long run, they defeat the interest of humanity. Those are the ones I call the primitive mentality of African convention. It is proper to teach our ladies to be modest right from childhood just like the male child too but it seems that most of the teachings can make our ladies modern zombies.

When we talk about emotion, it is not only peculiar to human but even lower animals. To my amazement, there is a moral criminalization and societal reprobation of ladies following the dictates of most of their emotions. Such is the case for review.

If a man can sees a lady and develop that desire to be more than a friend, obviously a lady can too. Since she is not a chinese doll or an American robot. The concern here is that our society gives man the freedom to make that known to the lady but the vice versa is not obtainable. If the intelligence, moral stand, brilliance, godliness or any other worthy factor of Ngozi can make Emeka approach her for a relationship, why can't Hauwa approach Danladi if she sees the man in Danladi? As simple as this issue is, the consequences are so bad and it includes high rate of divorce, domestic violence, emotional problems etc.

What do you expect of a lady whose orientation is to perpetually keep her emotion to herself? The perfect match is not bold enough to make a move or maybe he is not even aware someone somewhere is "tripping". Then, she would rather say yes to a scallywag than celebrate her 30th birthday as a spinster. So, what do you expect of such union? Whatever he says is the law, bow for him come what may, he is your brother and therefore superior... These are too much to bear now. Our ladies should not feel like second class citizens and please guys, be sensitive to green lights too.

Guys too should know how it feels to timidly say "let me think about it," "but i don't want a broken heart again," "that is what you all say" "are you serious that you love me?"... Guys too should not make an offer from a lady the topic for discussion among their friends. It does not make you superstars but immature parrots.

Lack of communication is one of the problems the world is battling with. I think that we can start bridging it from here.

Hidentity is an African.

In making arguments, it is a fact that one must marshal his points coherently to warrant a conviction in the minds of his listeners. Aside this, in the heat of any debate, one must be careful so as not to allow his gestures and emotion betray his utterances. A speaker can face a South African audience to argue in support of the apartheid policy and succeed if armed with the appropriate words and emotions to match them. It is not just about what comes out of one’s mouth; the pictures the listeners see and the inferences they draw from one’s argument will do most of the job.

Recently, I was on a chat with a good Facebook friend when she made a request. Although, hers was not the first of such request but hers was the first I really had the time to ponder on. My dear friend requested me to “fight for Women's and Children's Rights” when I get there. To me, children are vulnerable to many things; they have limited ability to determine between rights and wrongs, their freedom of choice is very limited, they seem to believe that every action must trigger a good reaction and that this world is really “free”. Without a blotted purpose of utterance, it is right to say that they are at a disadvantage as compared to the grown-ups. I have no problem making extra effort(s) for the betterment of a child.

Now, to the women issue; there are numerous debates in almost every parts of the world calling for special laws to protect the rights of women. These efforts are attempted ones to make more laws that seek to protect the woman folks. Again, I have no problem with that. I only think that the arguments for women rights send signals that are not even favourable to women. Considering the nature of women, I am not unaware that women need to beware of many apparitions of men- of keepers of faith and religion, of doctors, lawyers, teachers, bosses, friends and even family members. The laws on human rights deal with all these if sought.

Globally, most countries have outgrown the primitive era of restrictions on the rights of women. This development did not even evolve as a result of any law that seeks to protect the rights of women. It evolved due to the ability of great women who were and are able to show the world that nobody is dispensable if we are serious about building the world of our dream. We have the likes of Queen Elizabeth of England, late Mother Theresa, Condoleezza Rice, Olufunmilayo Kuti, Margaret Thatcher, Ngozi Iweala and others who will make good examples of women with the “command tone”. This development is not even a 21st century thing; Efunsetan Aniwura in the then primordial Ibadan possessed the political influence and charisma which shook even great men off their feet. Efunsetan was not only dominant, she was intimidating and the respect accorded her then was historic.

Each time a debate for women's right is brought up, it has a way of passing a message that women are weak, vulnerable and as such extra efforts must be made to protect them. Let me be fast to point this out, I do not believe that laws upon laws is the solution to the problem of abusing women. The solution is the orientation; from childhood, let parents teach their girl-child to be intellectually strong. Parents should also sing it to the ears of their girl-child that gender is not a limitation to reaching the sky and let them be taught in class that the word modest is for both men and women. Kill the inferiority complex in them from childhood. Today, the world chants that we are equal before the law but the world acts otherwise; why must we make special laws to protect women when we know we are equal before the law? We have human rights that apply to all human- men, women, children etc. What message are we passing with our clamour for women's rights if we really do not believe they are weak? I see it as systemic insult on the female gender to canvass for such rights. It has a way of indirectly saying women are limited in ability and restricted in potentials. No; not in my opinion, not in my experience with some ladies and their assessments.

Influence and greatness know no gender or physique. Even among students, I have met ladies that exude influence, charisma, intelligence and finesse. I have met Basirat from University of Ilorin, I have met Phronesis from the University of Ibadan, I have met Wura from the University of Lagos, I have met Hannah from Obafemi Awolowo University and I have met Jane-Frances from Unizik. Through them, I know no women's right is needed to prove that women have as much ability as men to make the world a better place. From childhood, both genders should be taught that violence, no matter how minute is wrong towards anybody.

Logically, the rights enshrined in our Constitution, African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights, United Nations Charter and other local and international laws on the protection of human rights are sufficient. We should only canvass for the enforcement of these rights, or what is the essence of women’s rights that will exist in paper devoid of enforcement like its predecessors?

Hidentity is an African.