₦airaland Forum

OPINION:
WHY FOREIGN RETAIL STORES ARE EMPTY AND CLOSING IN NIGERIA: WHAT SHOPRITE CAN DO
There is a factoid that suggests that high inflation and reduced disposable income for Nigerians is responsible for the empty shelves at Shoprite outlets, and the shutting down of some stores across Nigeria.
It is a fact that rising inflation has impacted the cost of products, however it is largely untrue that stores like Shoprite have been deserted by Nigerians simply because they have less money to spend.
If Shoprite shelves are empty, it means they are not restocking. If they are not restocking, it means there is a lull in demand. The question then begs: Why is there a decline? How and why then are local supermarkets, offering the same products as Shoprite, at perhaps even marginally higher rates getting demands and thriving? Surely, it has to be more than just finances as Nigerians are still patronizing other stores for the same products, and with the same income threshold.
There are a couple of consumer psychological and behavioural factors likely responsible for this trend, but fundamentally and as a matter of urgency, Shoprite may need to rejig its business plan across African markets to align with the current realities and demands of consumers, especially in Nigeria where the market is proven to be huge and liberalised.
DEREGULATED MARKET
Now, we are all agreed that in a deregulated economy like Nigeria, the market is open to all comers to trade in the small, medium-sized enterprises (SME) and informal sectors. Being an open market, competition is enormous, it is rife and fierce, and decisive factors like local knowledge, an adaptable and tweakable business model to suit the local market, consumer behaviour, consumer preference, overhead costs, restrictions, regulations and taxes - where applicable can impact a business and determine their long-term sustainability.
PROLIFERATION OF SIMILAR BUSINESSES & COMPETITION
Take clothing sales for instance. There are clothing shops scattered in all nooks and crannies of our cities. Their close proximity to homes, offices, places of worship and markets including major hubs makes them easily accessible.
What promotes the proliferation of these clothing shops is the ease with which traders are able to source merchandise directly from suppliers around the world from the comfort of their shops, and have the goods delivered directly to them. Also, individuals now have the leeway to be recumbent at home and make personal orders.
Added to that, the Naira is now recognized and accepted for international transactions, and already some foreign suppliers have begun trading in Naira. This facilitates seamless and quicker transactions, and all these inadvertently reduces cost to buyers.
Diametrically, clothing stores like Mr Price, Woolworths and the likes have been in Nigeria, and exited the market. To the average Nigerian and pleb, these were high end stores, sequestered in highbrow areas and malls for a clientele that is obliquely elitist. This set of clienteles also had the choice and privilege to shop for clothes from bigger brands abroad. As such, patronage and loyalty were not guaranteed to these stores.
As sales is the lifeblood of every business, stores like Mr Price catered only to an esoteric demographic. Their business model essentially sacrificed sales volume by neglecting the majority with the numbers to drive sales volume up.
It was therefore always going to be an onerous task remaining open when burdened with tax obligations, levies, import duty, rent, salaries, remittances, running costs and contingencies, and then having to compete against thousands of traders operating at lower costs, and receiving regular patronage by the mass of the people.
POPULARITY & FLEXIBILITY OF THE OPEN MARKET SYSTEM
The fact is simple and clear – the SME, and the informal sectors especially in Nigeria are vast and readily available to the majority of the people, and because shoppers are welcome to haggle, it is most preferable. This contrasts sharply against the stores mentioned above and elsewhere where practically all trade is done in-store, and prices are fixed. Essentially, the vast majority of Nigerians resonate with the informality of open and unrestricted markets.
UNSUSTAINABLE INTEREST
Another reason why stores like Shoprite are losing patronage is the factor of Hedonic Adaptation - which simply is that a person or people would return to their original or previous level of happiness or state of mind after the initial novelty or excitement of an experience, positive or negative wears out.
This is where psychology plays a part in brand attraction and loyalty. When famous foreign brands open business in Nigeria, the trend is that many people throng the outlets to try out for the first time or to relive the experience they have had abroad. They will do this until Hedonic Adaptation sets in, and it always does. That new item you just acquired, and steal glimpses of every now and then will look ordinary and uninspiring to you after some time.
When Hedonic Adaptation happens, the ones who would hitherto drive or commute to get to Shoprite to buy a bottle of drink would then have an epiphany that it is an unproductive and unrealistic to walk past all the corner shops just, to travel all the way to Shoprite for the same items they can find around. They will then begin to find closer alternatives.
Also, newer places, open every day in different locations, and humans would always want to try out new things rather than being stuck to the same thing indefinitely, hence they will seek newer alternatives to Shoprite.
Take Burger King for example. When the first outlet in Nigeria opened on Ajose Adeogun Street in Victoria Island, everyone literally moved there and almost totally abandoned the various other eateries they had known and had loyalty to.
For several weeks on end that outlet was cramped with people having to queue and wait for their orders for hours - all for a burger! And it was not just an overcrowded store of people invading each other’s personal spaces and the long waits that was egregious, it was also the extent of human and vehicular traffic that built up daily outside the store and the chaos it caused on the street at the time.
Fast forward to today. It is now a regular outlet with regular human and vehicular traffic. What happened to everyone? They have moved on. Hedonic Adaptation set in. The euphoria of having Burger King in Nigeria has worn off. Rest assured; there will be a reprise of this scenario when Mc Donalds finally enters the Nigerian market.
As these are the trends and psychology of Nigerian consumers towards foreign brands, then the brands must remodel their business strategies to accommodate the peculiar mindset and motivation of the vast majority of the people if they are to remain competitive against local competition as they all operate in the same market.
Lately, prominent Nigerian Supermarket brands have been expanding their operations and opening new outlets across major cities. This indicates growing demands stimulated by spending, and this gives credence to the allusion of some that the retail market is thriving and that there is more to the decreasing patronage of some foreign owned supermarkets than the prevailing economic circumstance relative to all.
SHOPRITE’S NEXT MOVE
In the case of Shoprite, a big super market chain that stocks daily essential needs and sundries which are required by thousands of people daily, their outlets have to be decentralized. The chain has to become ubiquitous, with outlets within close proximity of human settlements as against one massive outlet holed up in distant shopping malls.
Shoprite remaining in those distant shopping malls, and waiting for traffic to travel down to them will be disadvantageous because the products they stock can be purchased anywhere in the corner shops including neighbourhood supermarkets likes Jendol, Ebeano, Boku, Grocery Bazar and more. These stores are all typically within walking distance of peoples’ homes and offices. As a matter of fact, big supermarkets like the Tecos of this world in the UK have smaller neighbourhood Tesco Express stores for quick groceries. So why not Shoprite?
The owners of Shoprite should realise that Nigerians rarely remain indefinitely overwhelmed by the same thing- they move on quickly. Therefore, the malls ensconcing Shoprite will not always welcome the sort of traffic they witnessed at the initial stage, which was more or less window-shopping traffic which Shoprite alone largely profited from.
The number of people that visit shopping malls to make actual purchases is declining daily, with people preferring to visit open markets like computer village for phones and computers instead. There, they are sure to find wider variety, and expression for the natural inclination to haggle for better deals. A practice unacceptable at the malls.
Shoprite should not continue to rely on traffic coming to the general mall and the few that visit. They must move out to be closer to the people like the other supermarkets if they want to remain competitive. They need to increase accessibility to their outlets, and create top of mind awareness in people that they a hub for household items and thy are close by.
TeeR

It is a long read but please bear.

Some rather unfortunate deaths occur from time to time and at first glance they appear to be suicide, and people who hear these stories especially those who know the deceased are never able to reconcile or separate the individual that has died from the destructive thoughts of suicide or even depression because the warning signs were absent.
Take me for an example. How would anyone especially my family and friends have been able to explain to anyone or even rationalise it themselves how a budding young man without any indicators of depression ended his life in a Well? Yes a Well.
This episode possibly was the second or third near death miss that I experienced at a young age, the first being an accident on a bus with other people but this Well episode is profound because it was personal and had all the colorations of a dark supernatural force, a force that had me in its crosshairs and was acting powerfully on my mind, and propelling me to climb down an 18 ft deep Well to the point where there was water which was at about 9 ft.
So, a bowl, a mere small bowl had fallen into the well. I had two options – lower a hook to get it out or just ignore. I chose neither. The urge to retrieve it myself was so powerful, I was practically saying to myself, ‘‘it’s not that deep- just three rims…I’ll just use the steps along the wall of the rims slowly and carefully, get down, pick up the bowl and I’m out in two minutes’’.
I made the move. I climbed over the top rim and was reaching out for the first step of the rim but…Mercy said No! God has other plans. It was like an epiphany that stopped me dead in my tracks. It was a sudden and jolting realization that something metaphysical was pushing me and I was not going to make it out alive. I literally called myself out by my name and asked myself ‘what are you doing?’
I got out. I sat down and reflected the entire episode. I was going to lose my life over an irrelevant bowl. This was not ordinary. I was supposed to die on that day. I was supposed to miss my step and drop right down and be submerged 9 ft. Some unseen force was supposed to have pushed me or pulled me down. It would have seemed like suicide if I had been trying to retrieve a key or something that would later sink. God’s mercy!
Twenty years ago today, and many years after the well episode and various other minor episodes, another major near-death incident happened.
Sunday morning. No church and I decided to do some home cleaning and maintenance. I lived on the third floor of a 3-storey apartment building. I took a glance at the clock and time was 10.35AM when I proceeded to the top of the building to inspect the water tank for a suspected leakage as water pressure had dropped in the apartment.
To get to the tank, all I had to do was walk along the perimeter but instead, I climbed the main roof of the building made of asbestos. Lacking the experience of an artisan who would have walked along the nailed paths, I was rather using all my body weight on the already weak asbestos.
Of course, it gave way and the last thing I remembered was saying to myself that I was falling. I fell through the roof, through the crisscrossing wood frame of the roof, through my ceiling and landed with the back of my head and passed out for twenty minutes. Nobody at home, no one knew anything. If there had been power that morning, the ceiling fan would have been on and at the highest speed and it would have cut me as I fell through its position on the ceiling.
I was concussed. At about 10.55AM, I regained consciousness but I did not remember what had happened to me. I could see the sky and broken roofing asbestos all round me. I was blank! After a about five minutes thereabouts, I began to recollect that I had gone up to the roof. Then it dawned on me that I had fallen from a distant height and knocked out cold.

For the first time in my life as an adult or even as a child with top of mind awareness, I was admitted to a hospital and spent the night. X-ray done no broken or fractured bones. CT scan done no blood clot in the brain. I wore a neck brace for about two weeks. God showed up again!

People have died from less impactful freak accidents.
As a rule of thumb for me these days, If I am not in church on a Sunday, I do not lift a finger for at least the few hours service should last, and though I am not acrophobic, I do not climb anything or go higher than 2 ft off the ground to fix anything. Once bitten...

I have always remembered this episode yearly, but this anniversary feels different. Perhaps it is because it is a landmark – 20 years! What this means is that I would have been gone and forgotten twenty years ago. Dreams, hopes, and aspirations differed and buried forever.

Today, I recount all the times God in His infinite mercy has saved me. There have been more times than I can even begin to count besides these two episodes. I have been in at least two car accidents driving, I have been in places and situations where God’s mercy and protection saw me through. People that I have never met before in my life have helped me.
Otherwise, how do you explain having a breakdown on Eko bridge Costain bound from somewhere after the point where the Ijora ramp merges with Eko bridge, and someone who does not know you from Adam gets out of his friend’s car, urges you not to leave the car on the bridge and helps to push the car to Costain, and does not even wait to exchange numbers or even give me his name. He said not worry! The distance would have been upwards of 1.5KM. My life is replete with episodes like this one and I cannot even start now but...It is God!
So, I take stock of God's goodness today and I ask why I have been preserved many times over and again. If you can relate with my experiences, what would be your answer? If you say it is for a divine purpose to be fulfilled, I will agree with you.

A purpose is divine if it originates from, and is backed by God. It does not necessarily have to be be pastoral. As of today as I write this, there is no indication whatsoever that I will become a pastor, very far from that possibility as of today.
However, my calling can be in various forms like acts of service to humanity. Maybe I have been preserved to reach out to one particular person, maybe the person is not even born yet, only God knows.

Now, have I been the best version of myself all these years? No. I have had some wins here and there, and I have had struggles. I have fought many wars in business, career, relationships, and I have lost many battles. There have been strains, disappointments and despair.
I know many can relate with this but please know this, with God everything will work out for good and everything will become beautiful in His appointed time. Keep working, keep praying and keep trusting Him.
One thing is inherently certain if you have unfinished business for God, he will preserve you regardless of the devices of the enemy until your mission is accomplished in full.

Prayerfully disregard all those setbacks the enemy throws at you every now and then. He understands you are on a divine mission. It is to distract you and derail God's plan for your life. But Isiah 7:7... Thus says the Lord God: "'It shall not stand, and it shall not come to pass.
God bless you.

Plot of land measuring about 300sqm is up for urgent sale. It's located in a prime estate in Mowe, Ogun state.
The estate is sold out and plot allocation concluded. Property development in the estate hasn't begun yet.
If it's of interest to anyone and y of u wish to land-bank, then we can inspect, negotiate and proceed to the property company for transfer of title deeds.
Email: outviewevents@netbusiness.com

It's a ridiculous situation we're in. Am I the one getting this simple math wrong that as of today Monday, 21st March 2016, the British Pound is N439 to the Naira (from FBN ) rather than the official CBN rate of N286?

Something just caught my attention about that Nigerian passport - IMO being the place of birth; and a closer look, I know it's counterfeit. Check:
1. On every passport, it is Place of Birth not Place of Live like on this passport
2. There is no middle name on the passport
3. The passport number on the top right hand of the page is A 04485028 ( 9 characters, note d spacebtw A and 0)
4.The passport number running across the bottom is different- A044850285 (10 characters)
5. In the numbers running across the bottom after the passport number is NGA followed by the date of birth, on this passport there are 2 dates of birth - May 24th 1979 and Jan 1, 1984
6. Then next is the passport expiry date which does not correspond with the initial entry on the page.

Fake passport, fake character.

Came across this sumptuous article on what lunch is like for pupils around the world.

Bon appetit

See more here-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/food/article-2957301/What-school-lunches-look-like-world.html

Not that one can choose such things, but _The Economist_ has published a ranking of the best and worst countries to be born in for 2013—and the US isn't number one.

The index averages rankings from 11 geographic, social and economic factors. Switzerland ranked first and Nigeria ranked last. And the US? America came in at 16th place. When The World created a Where to be Born index way back in 1988, the US ranked first. Also ranked in the top were Nordic countries, Australia and Singapore; nations in Africa and eastern Europe came in last.

SOURCE: http://pulse.me/s/fX8x4

We have serious internal issues in Nigeria no doubt. And so now anyone and everyone can make a comment. But can you blame them? Probably not. Here' a comment to a thread on ghanaweb:Oil Crisis in Nigeria

Author: Kankan Nyame Posted: 2012-01-10 17:38:41
Nigeria is definitely approaching a basket case despite its oil riches. Current developments will soon spiral out of control that means the whole of west Africa will soon be destabilized, Ghana will bear of the brunt since a bunch of Nigerians will migrate to Ghana. The Ghana army must cease the opportunity to invade Nigeria in order to stabilize the situation and allow the Ghana government to effectively rule Nigeria.
Source: http://mobile.ghanaweb.com/wap/article.php?ID=227365&mode=comments

source: http://www.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/artikel.php?ID=183605

I hope that people, especially Ghanians will now believe that most of the the corrupt people caught abroad are not Nigerians (they're Nigerian wannabees ) but people who take advantage of Nigeria's benevolence. Its hard for me to accept that lose security is reponsible for this even though i know that is (was) the case. But how do you feel or console yourself when you discover that your closest neighbour is just a fair weather friend?

I am happy though, that access to Nigerian passports is stricter now with the Biometric Passports. Once you get one, you can never get another one unless and until you can PROVE that the original issue is lost or destroyed and only after exhaustive enquiries. Time was when people including foreigners and Ghanians especially as corroborated by the article had 2,3 or even more passports.

About this time last year, i was returning to Lagos and i met a lady staff at Heathrow airport and we got chatting. Proudly, i told i was Nigerian when she asked and her immediate response was 'oooh Nigerians, (shaking her head) dodgy people'. She went on about how she continued to get some strange calls from a number that seemed to her to be Nigerian, and each time she picked the phone she lost some phone credit and how she would NEVER even contemplate visiting Nigeria bla bla b ala.
How was i now to launder an image or impression so badly damaged? Of course, she coud not remeber the country code of the numbers when i asked but she swore they were from Nigeria. I was surprised she still considered me worthy company as we walked on.

Eventually i said to her that, indeed there are a few or several bad Nigerians which is not unique to any one country but that most of the Africans caught for breaking the law are not Nigerians and that is because they have easy, unhindered access to our Passport. Her response to that was a question; ' so are you saying to me that most Africans want to be Nigerians?' My point exactly, yes! Otherwise why are they scrambling to get the glorious and glamorous, Green P?

Now, i wish sincerely that she would stumble across that article by non other than a Ghanaian on a Ghanaian website .

Please take time to read the comments that followed the article. If u have time that is.

Good to know that finally there's something copyable from Nigeria. The UK Government is changing its passports to have iconic landmarks displayed on the pages amongst other features. I'm not sure, but i think the Nigerian Passport (and perhaps Ecowas) is the trail blazer in that regard. And apart from the aesthtic enhancement of the Nigerian passport, it's also one of the world's most difficult travel documents to forge. Here's the link to the UK passport change: http://uk.travel.yahoo.com/p-promo-3359736

Somewhere between Sanya bus stop and Mile 2 (Mile 2 bound) a few years ago, i saw this church- a complete wooden structure:

MY BROTHER IS A CHRISTIAN CHURCH OF GOD.



Nobody believes i ever saw that name till today. But i no fit lie.

Does anyone have a word about the recently concluded NDIC recruitment interview?

Growing up, with NTA being virtually the only TV station, some names on NTA News became household weather or not you liked it. Let's see how many of them we can remember and possibly where they are and what they're doing now.

1. Sola Omole
2.Siene All-well Brown (later Rasaq Lawa)

Let's go,

Okay, we're taking the loss in good faith but it must be said: Emmanul was so selfish, so selfish he wanted to win the golden boot that he couldn't square the ball on several occassions for other team mates in better positions to score. I blame him o. Okoro was guilty a few times too.
Now, i guess Emmanuel is happy he's winning something at our expense.

Has Bellview refunded anyone yet after cancelling the reeturn flight from London. Is there hope? I heard that their workers haven't been paid for up to three months. This is a message sent to me almost two weeks after i sorted myself out and found my way back to Lagos :

Dear Sir,

This is to inform you that our flight of 16Oct has been cancelled due to technical reasons, our flights are not operating until 04 Nov. We are sorry for the inconvience caused. We are unable to reach you as the london ctc is incorrect

This shows they're far from being serious certainly.

Check out: http://www.airlinequality.com/Forum/bellview.htm#cmnt

Bellview should just concentrate on flying only local and regional routes for now until they can professionally i.e efficiently and safely serve their customers.
Virgin Nigeria stopped flying to London so could concentrate on their core area of competence (local flights, S.A, W. Africa and maybe somewhere in the Mid. East) and to be honest, they're better off. If you're not flying Aero within Nigeria and the west coast, you'll definitely be flying V.A. Now, that's what we're talking about.

For me, it's undisputeably Bellview. Apologise to people who work with or have relatives who work with that airline.
They say if the preferable is not available, then the available will be preferable. That's my case.

My grouse on one single flight to the UK (26/08/09):

1.They leave about 2hrs behind schedule without any official explanation or apologies to passengers

2. They loan a plane that is so claustrophobic, you need to struggle for every inch of space-even forthe arm rest

3. Before take-off, it was so hot, it felt like a "danfo"

4. The food was miserably embarrassing. White rice and stew with some crazy carrots. You could count the diced carrots. The quantity and packaging was so poor, it was as if people didn't deserve the food.

Then, they brought a bogous card box. Opening it was a slice of cake. I thought if the reduced the size of the boxes, then they could improve the quality of the food.

5.Drinks was served, sorry SHARED for everyone in those white disposable cups and many cups were half filled. What happened to even the smallest size of can packed drinks.

6. It is only on an international flight like Bellview that passengers will "seat any how" disregarding seat numbers.

7. The loaned plane is called euro merridean. Foreing crew with one naija cabin lady. You could hardly pick a word from the announcement.

8. In-flight entertainment-zero

9. Let me stop here.

You might say all that matters is arriving safely, yes but the landing wasn't that great and the entire experience made it worse.

It was simply a Lagos-PH standard that was exhibited on the day.

NEVER AGAIN!

A university student in America has to pay £404,000 to 4 record labels for illegally dowloading and transferring music.

Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1203608/Illegal-download-student-shared-music-online-ordered-pay-404-000-record-labels.html

Huge sum in Naira, about N101,000,000. It might be a bit excessive within the circumstance but in my view quite deserving.
That's the only way piracy can be stopped.
If only the Nigerian Government would show a bit more seriousness like this, then Nigerian artistes would not have to rely solely on shows for survival.

How do we get the Copyrights Commission to act?

NIGERIAN MUSIC IS GONE GLOBAL. I ALWAYS WONDER IF OUR ARTISTES GET AIR TIME ON RADIO AND TV LIKE THEY'RE LOVED OUTSIDE. LET'S START WITH NEXT DOOR GHANA.

I think it's imposible to move a car let alone drive it without first, having a vague idea of what the instruments in the car are designed for.
Indeed, there are several softwares designed for graphics but honestly, being able to draw is the most basic requirement. These softwares are only designed to make your work easier because first, you've got to be able to visualise your idea, sketch it on a paper (scamping) before hitting your computer.
In fact, some graphics artists are so brilliant with scamps that you can virtually see, say a finished press advert before it gets on the computer. And so, with all the softwares available to them, they're able to knock the job out in minutes. The reverse of this is that you can spend hours on end on the computer because you can't see in front of you the accurate physical picture of what you are visualising.
You really don't have to be the best artist in the world with the pencil but at least you need to be able to sketch-the first step to a good work.

When computers came around, people who were used to manual typewriters found it easier to do basic typing on a computer keyboard but obviously microsoft word was a huge releif for all the spelling errors, deletions, cutting and pasting etc.
Hope you understand, that's how it works. Just keep drawing and using your computer and you'll be there.
Cheers.

I am not much of a novel reader but i've managed to read a few like "The Lonely Londoners".
I bet it would be a comic masterpiece with all the West Indian characters and the Nigerian "who without a dime in the world went to the altar to say i do".

Hi people, i've just gone through today's Guardian and i'm reading about Nigerians being deported from LIBYA! of all the places in the world to be deported from. The report goes on to say that in 2006, some 155 Nigerians were deported from NIGER!, GHANA!! and Sierra Leone!!! For heaven's sake, what are these guys looking for? No wonder these conutries don't respect us because they know they should be looking up to us.

Now, this is my question: Why does the immigration service not deport illegal aliens in Nigeria? Why are we acting big brother, accomodating everyone?
Someone, please tell me so i don't have malaria

At the time Craig David released his first album (don't remember the title) with tracks like "i'm walking away", i thought he 'd never be able to do a better album. Virtually every track was a hit. With his most recent efforts, i think i might be right.
I think his best came out too early. What's your view?

Hallo people, have you been listening to candid phone recently?
Today's episode: This 25 year old chick in the US was shocked straight into insanity when she finds out in a rather crude and embarrassing way that her boyfriend who lives on the other side of town (for his job's sake) actually had a wife. She had called the station and confidently bragged about the guy's flaming love for her. The radio DJ now puts the man to test. He calls him and said he had the chance to send flowers and a love note to one person. The chick was in the background all this while and had been told not to make a sound. The guy opens his mouth to say "yeah, ma wife".
The next thing we heard was,” wife? wife? You have a wife? (I thought she was asked not to say anything. who wouldn't?)
The guy who sounded much older now says he was just kidding. Serious matter!

I know there are loads of episodes, why don't you guys share the ones you find most incredible, ridiculous, absurd, embarrassing,

Hallo people, Have you been listening to candid phone recently?
Today's episode: This 25 year old chick in the US was shocked straight into insanity when she finds out in a rather crude and embarrassing way that her boyfriend who lives on the other side of town (for his job's sake) actually had a wife. She had called the station and confidently bragged about the guy's flaming love for her.The radio DJ now puts the man to test. He calls him and said he had the chance to send flowers and a love note to one person. The chick was in the background all this while and had been told not to make a sound. The guy opens his mouth to say "yeah,ma wife".
The next thing we heard was,"wife? wife? you have a wife?( I thought she was asked not to say anthing. who wouldn't?)
The guy who sounded much older now says he was just kidding. Serious matter!

I know there are loads of episodes, why don't you guys share the ones you find most incredible, ridiculous, absurd, embarrassing,

Sorry people for the long break. If i may proceed, "she" replies me srill not sure if i wasmale or femal and of course evading my question. "Her" mail":

Hello dear , yeah long time , hope you are good , i knew i could count on you to help out here. you should use western union to send it, i sure would pay you as soon as i get home. i should be able to recieve it immediately here at the western union office.

here are the details that you would need to help send the money through western union to me .

NAME: ,

CITY: SURULERE

STATE: LAGOS

COUNTRY: NIGERIA

ZIP  CODE: 23401

Hope to read from you asap, with the info that i would need to have the money picked up here and the amount sent, also include the amount it cost you to wire the money , ok
i sure will make it up to you in due time.

Thanks

I'm biding time, strecthing the silly guy. So i replied with a new mail that would have set him grining from ear to ear:

Hey what's up,
Good to know you're still there and your hotel manager
hasn't bungled you out.
O.k I'll let you know as soon as i do it later on
today. meanwhile which hotel are you in Surulere. I
could ask a friend to check up on you at least you'll
have company.
What's your address over there, have your folks
relocated, where are they now and i'm eager to
remember your friend's name.

Just relax o.k. It's no longer an emergency. I'll sort
you.
Take care.

I send another mail before he replies to re-assure him that i was working on itand he had caught a fool:

Hi,
Na wao, sending money to Nigeria is harder than making
the money itself. These guys want to know the exact
form of identification you'll use. Prefereably your
passport but my fear is that you've lost it too. I
hope you have it. Please include the number.
SA is 2 hours ahead and the banks are closing now so
send it quickly for tomorrow.
Cheers

And "she" replies:

Hi sweety ,
well, we thank God that i still have my passport with me , ok thats what i will use to get the money picked up , let them know that its an international passport , ok , you just keep me updated , and let me have the MTCN Number and other info that i would need to get the money picked up at the western union here ,

Thanks.

Was i surprised that "she" still had a passport? NO WAY! Imagine the guy calling me sweety, apparently just discovering he's dealing with a man.

DAY 2
This morning, i was hoping the guy would be paying a coutesy call on Ribadu. I was making calls to the EFFC office in Lgos but typical of civil servants in Naija on Fridays', the phone rang endlessly. While i was assumed the job of a phone operator, i sent this mail:

Luck you girl i've sent it-$3,000.
CONTOL NUMBER: 1122347484
Test Question: who's the man
Answer: you

I'm sure this would do. Let me know if you require
anything else.
Cheers.

At this point though, i was sure the guy knew he had been busted because the true owner of the box had sent this mail around which he had been sent and knew i must have received. This is the mail from the original account owner:

Subject: FW: I AM NOT IN NIGERIA, I DON'T HAVE ANY EMERGENCY. PLS DON"T SEND MONEY TO ANYONE.

Dear All,
If you receive this email below, please note IT IS NOT FROM ME. IT'S 419. Someone has hacked into my account and changed my password and locked me out of my yahoo account. Please note again. I DID NOT SEND THE EMAIL BELOW. Please pass this on to anyone I might have missed.

 thank you
,

HELLO
HOW ARE YOU DOING? I WANT YOU TO KEEP THIS
CONFIDENTIAL BETWEEN BOTH OF US, I KNOW THAT I CAN PUT
MY TRUST IN YOU ON THIS. PLEASE DO NOT LET ME DOWN.
RIGHT NOW I AM IN AFRICA, NIGERIA. I CAME HERE ON A
TRIP TO SEE A FRIEND AND WHEN I GOT HERE I LOST MY
WALLET CONTAINING THE ADRESS OF MY FRIEND AND HIS
CONTACT PHONE NUMBER, ALONG WITH MY ATM CARD AND OTHER
VALUABLES.
SO RIGHT NOW I DO NOT EVEN HAVE ANY MONEY ON ME . I AM
STAYING IN A HOTEL NOW , AND THE MANAGER IS ALREADY
RANTING OVER HIS MONEY AND AS TIME GOES BY THE BILLS
ARE INCREASING.
I WOULD WANT YOU TO LOAN ME $2000. I PROMISE TO PAY
YOU BACK AS SOON AS I GET BACK , I
WOULD WANT YOU TO HELP SEND THE MONEY VIA WESTERN
UNION . GET BACK AT ME ASAP.
HOPE TO READ FROM YOU,

And so the stroy ends. The guy would hate me more for the security question- (who's the man?) I am the man after all.

A word of advice please: Alter or better yet change your password and pin no. immediately you suspect someone knows it. I think it's safe to do that regularly. I've changed my password.

Please remain vigilant.
Cheers.

Na wao. Since it's becoming increasingly difficult daily to achieve international scams from Nigeria, these bad boys now target their own brothers.
I received a mail yesterday purportedly sent by a girl i met in London about two years ago through a friend. The strange thing was that we hadn't communicated in any way at all in all this time. Below is the sequence of mails between "her" and me:

HELLO
HOW ARE YOU DOING? I WANT YOU TO KEEP THIS
CONFIDENTIAL BETWEEN BOTH OF US, I KNOW THAT I CAN PUT
MY TRUST IN YOU ON THIS. PLEASE DO NOT LET ME DOWN.
RIGHT NOW I AM IN AFRICA, NIGERIA. I CAME HERE ON A
TRIP TO SEE A FRIEND AND WHEN I GOT HERE I LOST MY
WALLET CONTAINING THE ADRESS OF MY FRIEND AND HIS
CONTACT PHONE NUMBER, ALONG WITH MY ATM CARD AND OTHER
VALUABLES.
SO RIGHT NOW I DO NOT EVEN HAVE ANY MONEY ON ME . I AM
STAYING IN A HOTEL NOW , AND THE MANAGER IS ALREADY
RANTING OVER HIS MONEY AND AS TIME GOES BY THE BILLS
ARE INCREASING.
I WOULD WANT YOU TO LOAN ME $2000. I PROMISE TO PAY
YOU BACK AS SOON AS I GET BACK , I
WOULD WANT YOU TO HELP SEND THE MONEY VIA WESTERN
UNION . GET BACK AT ME ASAP.
HOPE TO READ FROM YOU,

I laughed when i did the conversion. Then i called London and confirmed the girl was there, then i replied:

Hi, long time. How did all this happen?
Anyway, you're my friend and i'm sure you'll do same
for me. I'm willing to give you $3,000 i guess you
might just need extra money.
Unfortunately i'm in SA now for a course so you'll
have to wait a few extra days to allow the money get
to you from here. I'll need your details, i wonder why
you didn't include any not even a number.
So,ill expect your mail. Take care.
N.B You remember that friend of yours, what's her name
again? i think i saw her recently.

Notice i chipped in a question and also made "her" comfortable by offering an extra $1,000. I was beant on leading "her" on for as long as possible before setting a lunch meeting with the EFCC. ( Got to go out now. To be continued)

Check this site: http://www.lawrencelupin.co.uk/immigration/individuals/students.php
I found it jusstat the top of the page you're on now.
Good luck!

Check this site: http://www.lawrencelupin.co.uk/immigration/individuals/students.php
I found it jusstat the top of the page you're on now.
Good luck!