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On the issue of the car, I was in Houston in Jan 2010 when he went looking for a Lexus RX 450 for his wife, a hard to find model of the RX series at the time. He searched high and low, hired a car consultant to take the wife out on numerous dealership visits to get the car of her dreams to his loving wife. Kevin also planned to sell the much discussed car below long before her surgery. I'm amazed why we cannot give Kevin the benefit of the doubt as to his intent to selling the car. Was he going to buy her another one? He had demonstrated that he was capable of buying one already so why is selling one a big deal? I trust that no one is in doubt that he did not plan his wife's demise to sell the car. Let's be clear that she died of improper anesthesia administration, not abuse, neglect or battering

I stayed with Kevin for two weeks at his invitation at their Houston home before moving to a hotel. I moved out of my own accord not because there was battering in the house, or things I was not comfortable with. In fact being in the house afforded me the opportunity to see how Kevin reacted to his kinsman when one of them insulted Ogo. His nephew, evidently still struggling with life in a cosmopolitan school in the US and having a home he could have three square meals, had not performed some basic domestic activity such as cleaning up after yourself in the house. I watched how Kevin reined in his kinsman and totally disciplined him for insulting his wife. I am also aware how Kevin went against the dictates of his kins men when his special-needs son had to be home-schooled. The son was not settling in well in the facilities in Houston and Ogo had determined that living with her sister in Lagos was the best option. Much to the chagrin of his kins men, Kevin fully supported Ogo's preference and sent his son to Lagos. If that is not standing up for your spouse in the midst of extended family adversity, then I don't know what else is. If you understand the Ibo culture, you will agree that was a bold step in severing the line with your brothers if you have to tow a "woman's line". Its tragic that Kevin is being put on the dock for the generational Ibo culture that has been unkind to women folk. I will like to separate both issues...Ibo culture and Kevin's role in Ogo's death. Its not news that Kevin sometimes had to borrow money for his late wife's treatment overseas, pay out of pocket expenses for her treatment when they lived abroad. All these things are not great exploits, because a man is supposed to do these things anyway. What's hard to believe is if you will do these things for someone you don't love. The Ibo culture pressures on boy-girl battle of the sexes and second-fiddle nature of wives who have almighty God-arranged delayed-child bearing is legendary and have been the subject of several home videos. Let's not put Kevin in the dock for these sins of our fathers

STILL FROM OGA MOBIL'S ASSOCIATES

I think the rhetoric should be refocused on the issue of medical malpractice which we suspect ended Ogo's life, may her soul rest in peace. There is nothing to suggest that Ogo died from abuse, wife battering or neglect as the email proposes. I don't claim to know Ogo and Kevin more than the writer of this email, but it seems spooky to me that Ogo would be speaking from the grave for a relationship she lived in and never blurted these issues or I don't think she would have wanted her matter in the public domain. Its hard for me to see the stock value in the vitality of these insinuations. I've tried to learn something out of it and the only common denominator is the allusion that the Ibo culture needs overhaul. We all can agree to that. Evidently the writer has some insider information or access to a Ogo's journal but I think this is invasion of privacy by another party which quite frankly is not lawful

You see, Ogo had a medical condition (not sure if it was pre-existing) and Kevin never supported his wife being attended to in-country because of the peculiar and delicate condition of the ailment (I'll keep her ailment confidential if you don't mind). A week before she passed away, as the email mentioned, he sponsored her trip to the UK, as any husband should do, and she had to go in for a follow up procedure. He was hesitant to the choice of a Lagos hospital, but Ogo insisted the doctors asserted it was a simple procedure, it would just take a couple of hours. What she was not told was that anesthesia administration on a condition as hers was going to be very delicate. Unfortunately, Ogo never made it out of anesthesia. I challenged Kevin and encouraged him to sue for medical malpractice for negligence and so on. A grief-stricken Kevin told me that the line of action I suggested would not bring his wife back to life. I told him we would wait until Ogo is laid to rest and we will embark on the enterprise of bringing the rogue doctors in

ALSO FROM LINDA IKEJI - A COLLEAGUE OF OGA MOBIL

Anonymous said...
I always knew there was something off with Kevin. He's not liked by me and many others at work cos he's over ambitious. May his gentle and lovely wife rest in peace.. She was always polite wen ever she stopped by d office.
Kevin onuchukwu's colleague
March 25, 2012 7:07 PM

I don't know why i am carrying this on my head.It's paining me well well.
If you have a loving spouse please praise your God for him/her and try your best to love back and be grateful to God for this gift.
Those that have ears,let them hear.

SEE EFFECT OF STAY FOR THE CHILDREN/WAGBAN CREW,CULLED FROM A LINDA IKEJI BLOG POSTER.

Anonymous said...
HMMMM THIS IS SAD, MY DAD AND MUM ARE STIL TOGETHER IN IBADAN, IM A 30YEARS OLD SINGLE MOTHER, AND IVE VOWED NOT TO EVER MARRY, I WILL RATHER COHABIT

ACCORDING TO MY MOTHERS STORY AND FROM WHAT I GREW UP KNOWING, MY DADS FIRST WIFE DIED DURING CHILDBIRTH COS MY FATHER USE TO BEAT HER DURING HER PREGNANCY MY INNOCENT MOTHER DIDNT KNOW.

WHEN SHE GOT MARRIED TO MY RICH DAD, HIS FAMILIES HATED MY MUM AND HE BEATS HER MOST TIMES, SHE FAINT EVERYTIME BUT SHE REFUSED TO LEAVE HIM

SHES AN UNHEALTHY WOMAN AT THE MOMENT COS OF THE RESULT OF ALL THE BEATING AND THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER

SHES A SHADOW OF HERSELF NOW, I HAVE EVEN SOLD MY GOLD AND CARS TO PAY HER HOSPITAL BILLS SEVERALLY.

I HATE MY FSTHER WITH PASSION, IM HIS FAVOURITE CHILD AND THE ONLY DAUGHTER, I HATED HIM, IM SUPPOSED TO MARRY A GUY LAST DECEMBER WE DATED AND WHEN I TILD HIM I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND HE BEAT ME TO A PULP AND THE NEXT WEEK I POURED HIM HOT WATER IN HIS SLEEP AND ARRESTED HIM FOR RAPE, HES LIVING WITH THE SCAR, I DONT CARE

NO MAN CAN DEAL WITH ME, IM READY FOR THEM, AND I WILL TRAIN MY 6YEAR OLD BOY TO RESPECT WOMEN.

RIP OGO AS FOR KEVIN 'WATCH YOUR BACK' I, MISS R IS COMING FOR YOU


I WILL DESTROY YOU IT MAY TAKE ME TIME BUT YOU WILL SURELY BE SET UP AND I WILL DESTROY YOU. GBAM

^^
There is nothing interesting in his useless response

i told u guys that from the fb pic his face looks unrepentant.
So money = good man.
Selling land= wonderful husband.
The fact is that they have tried to use grammar to fill up a page.Typing arrant nonsense.The man has NO excuse and is grasping at straws.The associate that wrote the response probably has a wife cowering somewhere waiting for her round of tying up and flogging.This whole write up stinks of arrogance and wickedness,it would have been better if you just shut up that your mouth instead of defending a cowardly mummy's boy.
Shay you have daughters?dash one of them to mr mobil and let's see the end result.

Kevin's associate,
Please,you did not address the beatings and flogging with belt.is that also the surmountable part of marriage?Is it also an expectation in marriage?So selling a plot of land to care for your wife and sons bills is justification to treat her like an animal?
Ala gbachapukwa unu anya there.Ndi ala.
What kind of local defense is this?This only solidifies the fact that this man was a conc abuser and a very wicked fellow.Ofcourse he will say she was proud and disrespectful.She is dead,can she defend herself?The man has NOTHING to say.Let him go weave this crap for his next victim.We are wise enought to read between the lines.It's Ogo i blame for not loving herself enough
Africa ko Africa ni.

obviously,the man has banded with his WAGBAN crew to come up with this useless defense.She hid illness from her husband,see excuse!You people are unbelievable o!Go and catch the person that wrote the story naww.ODE

MAKE UNA SEE OGA ABUSER'S DEFENSE..someone just posted it oo.

Kevin's side of the story. No justification, but interesting to note:

Kevin\'s Associate · 1 hour ago
Wonderful write up it is! But it's unheard that the dead wrote. The writer aim is to tell a story of a woman who labored and died to express her unappreciated love to her husband or a caution for women to not love their husbands, It is unfortunate that the writer had been able to capture the hearts of the audience to the extend where they had dished all manner of causes and comments on the late woman's hubby (Kevin). Possibly already achieving his/her aims; I would use this opportunity to caution our commentators to always show restraint till the full story is heard. First, I do not intend to join issues with the writer but I want to state that the story is lopsided. You might agree to some extent that every marriage have their expectation. If a couple who were married in 12yrs with 2 kids still leaves together, it means they had been able to surmount their challenges. This is while I would also advise our women. Don't ever think you are an island in the midst of your in-laws, it doesn't matter how beautiful you are. We are still in Africa were women are expected to marry men as well as members of the man's entire family and show them respect. For me, this is the easiest way to get aligned with the family. But when pride and possessiveness cause you to disrespect your in-laws, then you are bound to face problem. The writer of this story is very selfish, perhaps the late Ogo confided in the writer while she was alive. Possibly too, the late Ogo never also told the writer the many times Kevin sold landed properties to pay hospital bills, the many times a laboring husband came back home from work to fall on empty stomach without food at home or the number of year late Ogo had spend in the US of the 12yrs of marriage while attending to her health issues. As I mentioned before, every marriages have their expectations. If your expectation is to have children and they are not forthcoming, there is bound to be issues. If a woman who never showed signs of sickness prior to marriage suddenly started falling heal barely 12days after marriage, there is bound to be problem, perhaps she hid the sickness from her hubby before marriage, alot comes to the bare. While I share pains with Kevin for having to experience this sad phase of his marital life undermining hitherto the so much that he had spent to salvage the life of his lovely wife, for making several sacrifices to get the marriage going, close confidants such as the writer of this story is desperately trying to make sure more pains are inflicted. Please Mr/Mrs writer whatever you are stop this calumny. We don't know you but from your right up we suspect who you are. In retrospect, Late Ogo had done 7 surgeries in the 12yrs of marriage. The last was when she had the second baby during which she temporarily passed out. At recovery, she was warned never to have the 8th or any more surgeries in her life time as her ailment would henceforth be therapeutically managed. All of this fell on deaf ears because people such as the writer were envious of late Ogo and unfortunately, Ogo didn't live long enough to see it. Having just being referred to a specialist in Lagos, and agreed with her husband on the "No surgery Rules" she arrived the hospital and decided with one of her sisters, which I strongly suspected is the writer of this story to go for a surgery. As you all know, till today when a patient goes for surgery a guarantor is expected to sign on her behalf. Typically for married women, their husband. While Kevin was still at work and persistently invoking the "No surgery rule" late Ogo's sister signed for her to carry on with the procedure/surgery. Which was a grievous disrespect for Kevin. And the woman died!! If anyone is to be blamed, it is whoever signed against the "No surgery rule".....she signed Ogo's death warrant. Now, going to the internet to tell a story in order to mope up sympathy or perhaps exonerate self is uncalled for and would not solve anything, would only aggravate this problem. As an advocate of peace, I think the emphasis going forward is to ensure that late Ogo's legacy and dream for her children is met.

z-murda

He will probably cook up a story as usual with these vile people,his wife is no longer here to defend herself and her nonsense love for him.I bet he feels he is untouchable and already paying bride price for his next victim.

There's no way on this planet that he didn't display some of his caveman moves early on.The more i comment the more my sympathy dries up.MBA!! no more commenting.

@ debrief
Please keep on sharing,you never know who's life will be saved.I now understand where you are coming from,you don talk tire.
This particular man tied her with rope like an animal and flogged her with belt,threatened her with a knife and said no one would do anything if he killed her and she still stayed there..He said his mother is worth more than 'these things' -his own children!!
Kaii God!!Everyone who spoke about her said she was peaceful and quiet and kind.Who will care for these kids??Their father believes they are useless to him and did not even provide food for them to eat when she was away,what will happen now she's dead??.Wickedness plenty for this world.
We all have k-legs personality wise but no one should be treated like he/she is worthless.

For DINAO crew please consider separation till your spouse regains his/her sanity after intense counselling sessions.
For WAGBAN-I have no words,no man or woman should be abused emotionally,physically or otherwise

God help us all..but you have to start helping yourself first!

Meanwhile,the comments on linda ikeji are quite revealing
Someone posted that his family worked tirelessly to prevent the girl from marrying oga mobil cos of his family background yet she no gree.
This guy had been bad news from the start.Maybe he comes from a wifebeater/wicked family,I don't know but she was warned..
Nawa for this life.I don tire.

@ debrief
who will be cursing u naa?lol..unless its the WAGBAN crew(WAGBAN from the romance section-wife/gf beaters association of Nigeria)

Yea,they will probably say she pushed him to it.
Na so life be,i will stay in my small corner with my hubby and make sure my children and brought up right.
I want to believe that women will learn to stand up for themselves.The time has come

@lurkee
you think he hasn't been seeing someone?Maybe you need to look at that his local face again.If i am to judge by looks,his type will probably justify himself and his mama will support.Some chick will definitely follow him,is it not naija again?I await her own story too.Oga mobil.
God forgive me for judging him but he looks very wicked and unrepentant.Bush rat

Ah Ahh cold feet,why are you calling anambra people naww?Mummy's boy syndrome cuts across all tribes.I believe the man may have been from an impoverished home where his mother probably put him through school and he managed to go to university.After university,he then maybe got a job in mobil and became the shining star.Probably the only shining star in their entire lineage.Once a bush meat,forever a bush meat.I wonder how a girl like her looked past the cavemanism and localism.This love is wicked oo.The mother would have still been a witch to any girl no matter where she came from.My own father does not and never put his mother before his wife and us.
Mmadu na afu ife na uwa nkea.

Someone even commented that if she survived the surgery she would have still gone back to the man..It is probably very likely.Very horrifying and terrible thing to comprehend.I cannot judge her but somethings are just beyond normal.Lemme hug science and believe that it is battered person syndrome that she suffered from plus lack of self worth.I don't even want to think of my okija juju cos i have very close ties to the place..

^^
I have gone to the adultery thread and to say i am shocked is an understatement.Another shocking thread is the wife beater one in romance section.Some dude that beat up his gf for smashing his phone.90% were encouraging him,i saw all this yesterday..
I have heard debrief,i shall sympathize no further with the dead .I totally understand what you are saying though,pardon me for misjudging your story on your dad.

^^
For some people,railing and screaming from pillar to post will work,for some sympathy and encouragement to leave the situation will work,for some brutish force will work.It all depends on the mental state of the person.
It was your father's tears that brought you out of your situation or at least gave you the final push.For her,who knows and who can tell?
She probably had the lowest form of self esteem,it's not like she wasn't a graduate she was a pharmacist.Everyone is different i guess and approach things differently so i definitely respect where everyone is coming from.Won't do any good now though cos she is dead.
I can only tell women/men to start from day 1 to instil self worth,dignity and self respect into your daughters.They watch everything you go through and if you sit back and say you are staying for them,you are damaging their psyche and they will fall into the same abusive trap when they grow up and the sons will either grow up to repeat what they have seen or become extremely timid.
You cannot love a person more than you love yourself..Is he/she God? In fact this is bordering on idolatry.Yes,people will call you madam or sadam divorcee that could not keep his/her home but it is better to be alive than 6 feet under while answering Mr/Mrs.There is no award for endurance.If you are carrying christianity on your head abeg separate till your spouse changes for the better through intense counselling(even though it takes heaven and earth for a bully/narcissist to change).

Her family did not know exactly what was going on till it was too late.This info from her fb memorial page,one of her family members commented and said that she was too protective of her marriage because some people were laying blame on them for not forcibly removing her from the situation.My own is now to say she had a psychological problem,if she went as far as protecting the man.So sorry for her and her children.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=196216413814716&set=a.196204520482572.27610.196164993819858&type=3&permPage=1

BATTERED PERSON'S SYNDROME ETIOLOGY

The syndrome develops in response to a three-stage cycle found in domestic violence situations. First, tension builds in the relationship. Second, the abusive partner releases tension via violence while blaming the victim for having caused the violence. Third, the violent partner makes gestures of contrition. However, the partner does not find solutions to avoid another phase of tension building and release so the cycle repeats. The repetition of the violence despite the abuser's attempts to "make nice" results in the abused partner feeling at fault for not preventing a repeat cycle of violence. However, since the victim is not at fault and the violence is internally driven by the abuser's need to control, this self-blame results in feelings of helplessness rather than empowerment. The feeling of being both responsible for and helpless to stop the violence leads in turn to depression and passivity. This learned depression and passivity makes it difficult for the abused partner to marshal the resources and support system needed to leave.
Feelings of depression and passivity may also be created by lack of social support outside of the abusive situation. Research in the 1980s by Gondolf and Fisher found that women in abusive situations increase help-seeking behavior as violence intensifies. However, their attempts at seeking help are often frustrated by unresponsive extended family and social services

SYMPTOMS
When Battered Person Syndrome (BPS) manifests as PTSD, it consists of the following symptoms: (a) re-experiencing the battering as if it were reoccurring even when it is not, (b) attempts to avoid the psychological impact of battering by avoiding activities, people, and emotions, (c) hyperarousal or hypervigilance, (d) disrupted interpersonal relationships, (e) body image distortion or other somatic concerns, and (f) sexuality and intimacy issues.[5]
Additionally, repeated cycles of violence and reconciliation can result in the following beliefs and attitudes:[6]
The abused believes that the violence was his or her fault.
The abused has an inability to place the responsibility for the violence elsewhere.
The abused fears for his/her life and/or the lives of his/her children (if present).
The abused has an irrational belief that the abuser is omnipresent and omniscient.

This is normally used as legal defense when these women/men finally up and kill the abuser..

cotton101: I still believe that if we had a suitable support network for women that it would be easier for them to leave. I was lucky as I have dual nationality, so was able to leave and go far away from pastors and family members advising me to stay and endure. You think its easy, debrief its not and the main issue is self sufficiency and self esteem, if you don't have either of these most women will remain.

This story is very sad and I hope I really do hope that more and more women will read these stories and make the right choices for themselves and their children.

I agree totally with you.these woman suffer from psychological trauma that causes them to identify positively with their abuser- see battered person syndrome and even stockholm syndrome.Add that to Naija mentality.The ones that leave mostly have some form of family support,encouraging,urging and even forcing them to leave.Unfortunately,those that don't have this backbone stay and suffer then die as in this case.
I feel that if people realise that these abused women have been damaged psychologically,more force and pressure could be applied esp from family members.After all if a persons brother is roaming around naked,would the person go and discuss treatment with the mentally unstable guy?NO.na by force.I know this my idea is far fetched and almost impossible but if it's my sister,i would forcefully remove you from harms way.
I am so scared for the children.Who will care for them now she is gone?I feel so much pity for her but a bit aggravated that she has left them to an even worse fate with a wicked father.

RIP Ogo..

Same goes to abused men though they would rather die than speak up

^^^^
i am really shocked you are speaking this way.Not even one iota of respect or empathy for the dead woman,even though you have been in her shoes.Thank God you were strong enough to leave but are all women like you?? I was very very upset when i read her story as i could not imagine why a person would stay while going through this kind of hell.I normally look to reading your comment because you have been there but this one you wrote is so cold.Very sad.

.

I feel terrible for the new baby.
Please Madam Naijaklef,two wrongs don't make a right.Please try and reconcile with Babaklef for your beautiful baby's sake.

  Oga Poster,have you considered the fact that your wife is upset because she discovered you have Hep B?She must have found out at the hospital which you said is where her problem began.I noticed that you skipped both accusations.Did you play away match?Did you get a blood transfusion?Are you using heroin or anything that has to do with shooting up with needles?Are you swapping saliva with someone or do you have a wound that you rubbed with the wound of an infected person??I even listed some ridiculous stuff as these are the only ways to contact Hep B and i am sorry to say that ermm the most likely scenario is "that thing"

If "the thing"  is the reason and your wife knows,you can see why she packed and followed her mother.She just gave birth and was in a very vulnerable state.If she got the news there and then told her family members who hate you,they would encourage her to leave.So it's best to settle with your wife first as per the ,

They were very wrong to take the child away though and i hope you both come to a decent agreement that will give the baby the home she deserves.
Meanwhile, if you are doing that thing, stop it and get treated.

Madam CC please you have got mail
Its urgent.
thank you

Madam CC u have got mail!!!

Happi Nu Year my darlng ndi igbo

agaba nee udi egwu iji aba newyear
flavour bu nno ezigbo ajo anu
mana d egwu tokwaa uto,
oozi ma eluo a ***wo,anarom ama ifem ga ekwu,

ChinenyeN:

O di nma. Ahu di m. Haha, lekwaa ihe presence gi mere na threadi a. O na-ato m ochi otu e ji tee n'ura n'ihi gi. Anyway, nne nnoo. And foto gi amaka.

biko oburokwa maka m ooo
okwa maka nkwado xmas ka fancha ji tete na thread aaaa
daalu maka d compliment,mga ewepu ya soon tho maka onwee onye sim na o copy ya tinye na laptop ya.odi possible
tupu mfu foto m na internet wi aru onye ozo, ike nsogbu adirom

hav a beautiful christmas dear,

nwa-uwa:

Umuigbo hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

hiiii nwa-uwa
nnoooo na ebea,

aggy tesco,
Merry xmassssssssssssssssssss

Ndipe:

Cheaters has been exposed as a fake show, so it could have been an act.

i hope that is not true,

cheiiii,
agggy umu nwanyiiii


IM NOT MOVED!!!
igakwaa tesco taa igote garri

anam eche gi

ehhh okwa eziokwu
imara mma di egwu
foto gi niine di na fb di fabulos

agabaI23:

mbanu, onwero mkpari di na ya. A bu m nwoke mara mma. Gi nwa makwa nke ahu. O kwanu ya mere iji . . . . .

Toshi bu onye nke m

okakwaa lu gi mma na i mero complete dat sentence
tupu mme gi ife na NL
fake tan

hei!!!!
aggy boy,agaam thru page 91,unu ga egbum na NL oooo
otele/tosh, uv made my dayyyy
have a lovely xmasss
blow me kisses to ur wife ooo

gbaghalu d oyibo bikonu
ike ide ifea agwugom

toshmann:

otele,
njakiri go back , i'm married. gini wu m nye gi skills i ji achu nwanyi, ihughi na the nwa di married? ishi o mebiela gi, ka i na arazi cocaine?

o, faketan wuzi onye anambra . . . . .darfur ka na achu ify . . . ify, isi darfur gbara gi xmas, i jukwara ma darfur oriela nri ehihie ya taa.

otele,
ichoro ichu nwayi, emela pretend na i na asu asusu anambra. be urself, nwee confidence, daba de nwa. highest ya asi ochoghi, nke a mee, gi daba the next available nwa. simple. ya wuru na imara mma as you claim, then one of the umuoma ga ekwere gi. i'm a good example, as nwoke mara mma. [b][b]unless i joro njo. even sef ijokwaa njo, enwere skills i ga eji achuta nwayi . . .faketan ga agwa gi nke ahu.
[/b][/b]
school kwanu? adakwala o, anyway, idagodi sef, faketan ga agwa gi otu i ga esi cover ya up ka mpa gi hapu imata until gi pass-ia . . faketan di too much, but i ga enye ya respect. onwekwara ike naa gi ego for his services, but o di happy o ga emere gi ya free. so make him happy

aggy,ifukwaa ebe tosh ji style kpalia gi

kwagbukwaa onwe gi na ukwala, anuofiaa

ezigbo mmadu nwulu anwu, ewu

agaba umunwanyi bu nwannem na kristi
nwannem nwoke na facebook   
mana onye aluluani ka obu, 


Chineke moooo
unu afukwaa foto profile otele
gini bu ife nkeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa eee,alu!!!
otele imagbulu onwe gi na mma