₦airaland Forum

Adeoba10:
Fayose their hero Fayose their mentor Fayose their role model Fayose, Buhari's nightmare Fayose, whos mum is wearing diapers Fayose, who is greater than Ojukwu Fayose, THEY are waiting for you on d 2nd of August to rule dia new country. Please, don't forget to share Onions with that yam.

ekoson95:
The idea of not using certificate of more than 5 years is directly correlated with the age limit factor. Considering, the youngest age you can likely finish secondary school is 16 years, hence 16 + 5 = 21. Hope you get the picture now.
As you cannot claim to be 19 or 20 when you finished ur secondary school 5 years ago. Cheers!

arcike:
Bauchi guys u knw Isreal Yankari??...

ekoson95:
=========== COMPREHENSIVE AFSB REPORT ===============
What’s up fellas, here is a brief report of First Batch experience of the Armed Forces Selection Board for the 68th Regular Course of the Nigerian Defence Academy, enjoy.

ARRIVAL
On Saturday May 28, 2016, we reported at the Old Site of the Academy, within Ribadu Cantonment, before Kawo Kaduna. On arrival at the Gateway to Generalship, we doubled into the Academy premises with our luggage on our head. We are then asked to sit on the ground of the reception centre according to our states for documentation; here, after the authenticity of the applicants have been confirmed, they are issued chest number upon payment of N2,500 for verification of WAEC/NECO/NABTEB O’level results. It doesn’t matter if you are using more than 1 result. After the documentation, we were asked to cover up in 3s (that’s the standard in the Academy, you must jog in 3s), and were moved to the Bulama Biu Drill shed for credentials screening.

CREDENTIALS SCREENING
The credentials screening commenced immediately after documentation, and you sit in the drill shed according to your state i.e. each state sitting on a straight row, and you proceed one after another to your state’s screening officer. When it was dark on the first day, the exercise was spilled over to continue the second day. During the screening, they will check if you have the relevant/compulsory credits for your course of study; if you are under/overaged, and if there’s a mismatch in your date of birth across your documents.
In the mean time, candidates were matched to the cadets’ mess for their lunch/dinner; after eating, we proceeded to the ‘5-star accommodation’ which used to be the former hostel of cadets, battalion by battalion. My state was taken to a newly renovated accommodation codenamed ‘IDP camp’ because of only_God_knows_why. There are about six beds of 2 bunks each with 2 toilets/bathrooms for each room, plus 1 or 2 bucket. It is indeed a 5 star accommodation that compete with Sheraton, Transcorp et al. Due to the stress of the day, you are very likely to fall asleep quickly, but not for so long because you will be woken up 3 am. By 5 am, we were taken to the mess for our breakfast of tea and bread….the bread is good, but I cant say much for the tea. Maybe it’s because it’s too hot; or maybe it could be because of the pressure to gulf the whole stuff down your throat in less than 10 seconds. The Mess Staff Sergeant is there to keep you on your toes and make you realize that you are not eating in your father’s dining table. This is the Academy…………………..wereyy

Going back to business, those states that are yet to finish their credentials screening will return to the drill shed, while those that are done will go to the parade ground. There, they will dry you under the sun for 12 hours straight, you will grind your yansh on the ground until your anus begins to whistle.
After the credentials screening, results are called the next day i.e. on Monday. Jeez, I hate Mondays. Those who are found wanting are called out and taken to the drill shed; there, they are briefed on the cause of their disqualification, and then stripped of their chest numbers. It pains to see your friend go home so early.

PYSCHOLOGICAL ASSESSMENT TEST
After those who failed credentials screening are dismissed, the remaining candidates were taken to the cadets’ mess to write their psychological assessment test. This aim of this test is to find out if you have mental konji….lol. The psychological assessment test is to ascertain the state of your psychological make-up, cognitive ability and thinking faculty. They will ask you questions about your childhood and many other factors, I strongly advice you to be sincere, because if you try to hide the truth, they will still find out because it contains structured questionnaires that are interconnected in terms of internal consistency.

MEDICALS
The next day is Medicals….the medicals is very elaborate and many parameters are included to determine the true state of the candidates’ health, among which are blood test (diabetes, HIV, hepatitis, cholesterol etc), urine test (excessive sugar or protein level), physical evaluation (height, flat feet, scars, BMI, incomplete balls etc), physiological test (chest x-ray), eye test (short/long sightedness, color blindness etc), dental evaluation, ECG, blood pressure etc.
The physiological test was done at the old site, while candidates were conveyed in the Academy’s buses to the Permanent site for the other tests at the Medical Centre. At the permanent site, you will see many things….cadets with broken legs, arms, necks etc; ambulances bringing in sub/unconscious cadets every now and then….....u go know say to be a combatant cadet no be beans.
The medicals took about 3 days to complete for all the states; after which most candidates were called for review i.e. to re-check or validate any area that a candidates is found wanting….the review took another 2 days to complete. During these periods, candidates were left at the multipurpose hall to die of boredom….with many MPs and Intel guys issuing you threats as if you just stole both of their kidneys.
The results of the medicals were called on Sunday………however, candidates were given to opportunity to go to church to make deal with their God. After service, everybody assembled at the parade ground, the medical team as well as most of the members of the selection board were present. It was indeed the a day of reckoning, even the sun was not left out, the fear of the Lord came upon it to the extent that it was clothed round completely with the rainbow….Oluwa is involved
By the time results were called, the sheep were separated from the goat and most states lost about 45% of its candidates to the medicals. There was a state that had just 12 candidates left. You know what that means. Those who failed the test, were summoned to the drill shed for briefing and extraction of chest numbers.

APTITUDE TEST
Shortly after the medical results were announced, the remaining candidates proceed to various location to write the aptitude test. The test comprises of objective and written questions. The written part is an essay on a topic, as may be chosen by the board; while the objectives
include questions from English, Mathematics and General Knowledge/Current Affairs. Not really difficult sha.

THE 3.2 KM RACE
This event is probably the most talked about of the all the selection exercises…..un/fortunately, it is under/overrated. A day after the medical results, candidates are assembled at the starting point of the race, just outside the academy gates. Male candidates are allowed 18 minutes, while female are allowed 22 minutes; and it is segmented in cages. Those who run the race within 18 minutes enter the first cage, those who come later enter the second cage and so on.
The race commences on the blast on a whistle…..with a surveillance drone controlled by a pilot watching you throughout the race in case of any mago-mago (such as following shortcut or taking a lift) for this batch, we started out first by eating the hills like yam, and then drinking the slopes like honey. You will nearly gas-out but you won’t…..as long as you’ve been practicing. The Academy Stallion (the guy who came first) was a Benue candidate…..mehn, the dude was competing with the front ambulance; while the First Lady was from Delta.

INDIVIDUAL OBSTACLE CROSSING
The individual obstacle crossing was done the next day…..before commencement, you will be brief on the dos/don’ts by being given a good and bad demo by physical trainers. The obstacles to be crossed includes the red barrier which whose by jumped without touch, the green barrier, the barbed wire, the 6-feet wall, monkey bridge, tarzan rope, tunnel etc. Perhaps the most difficult of all of them is the last long rope which you must climb and touch the green top…I heard it earns more marks. My advice is that if you know your arm is strength is not strong enough to power you through, ensure to assist by grabbing the rope with your legs after each pull up.

GROUP OBSTACLE CROSSING
Unlike the individual obstacle, the group obstacle involves lot of the brain work, care, diligence, team work and cooperation. Each state is split into like 3 groups and each group must undertake 3 tasks with a maximum of about 5 minutes allocated for execution of each task. The 3 tasks to be carried is usually selected from any of these: (1) Retrieving the sniper rifle (2) Retrieving the map (3) Retrieving the diamond (4) Crossing the mine field (5) Crossing the island (6) Burying the dead soldier etc. Just think outside the box and work together as a team.

SAND MODELLING
This is another task which generates lots of interest. The sand modeling, also known as ‘planning’ exercise is a thought provoking mind game with requires minimal strength and maximum boldness and mental thinking. It is some form of abstract/imaginary exercise that simulates likely real life circumstances, and features your actions/reactions as a military officer/commander. It usually involves a crime/accident scene that needs your actions as an officer while ensuring minimal loss of life.

FACING THE ALMIGHTY BOARD
Facing the Board is probably the most dreaded/anticipated part of the entire selection process….because this is where your fate lies. The board usually consist of the Board Chairman, the Secretary, NDA Registrar, Representatives of the 3 Services, Defence Headquarters, Psychologists, Professors. When you open the door and enter into the Interview room, on seeing the caliber of personnel, the fear of the Lord will definitely come upon you. You have to be bold and confident in all your speech and answers…..courage is not the absence of fear, it is the ability to overcome it.
On entrance, you will be asked to tell them about yourself, your childhood, your school, your choice of service/course. Then you will be asked questions relating to your chosen course and general current affairs questions. Some Engineering/Science students were asked to solve Mathematics on the Board.


Well, I’ve written too much already…..pens up!!! But before then, here are some very interesting people you will encounter during the interview:

- CAPT ABDUL: The charismatic and gallant candidates administrative officer. This Captain is an embodiment of a typical military officer. When Capt Abdul is coming, even the ants halt and sit-up for the arrival of a mentor. He will drill you and at the same time, give you tips on how to survive when you enter the Academy.

- CAPT GREMA: Mehn, you can’t afford to miss a slap from this humorous Captain. He’s a personnel at the Medical Centre at the permanent site. He will make you laugh, make you meditate and of course, make you rub your head to cool down the impact of his slap on your head.

- LT. COL. JIMOH: A very serious senior officer, who happens to the Board Secretary. Here’s is an officer who has seen many things in his life as an army officer. When in good mood, he will tell you the pure truth about life in the military; but when you provoke him, one hot slap on your head will restore your brain to its default setting.

-L/CPL LEKAN: A very funny and young Military police personnel. He will control you even against your wish, chastising you with one hand, and then petting you with another.

-CPL SANI: The ghost-rider, another MP personnel who doesn’t mind riding his ‘power bike’ into your bed to make you do the right thing. However, if you anything, don’t hesitate to ask him, he will answer according to his riches…..stuffs like keypoints, scratch card, eraser etc…..they aint free though.

-MESS SERGEANT: Oh my mama……….I’m missing this soldier. He is a Staff Sergeant in charge of the cadets mess, he will definitely not fail to put you to your heels out of the mess just in case you think you are in your father’s house. Everytime at the mess is a euphoric moment as he has enough gas to control the impish behaviour in any candidate. Words like: werey, oh……Academy don spoil, dan ubanka shege, u tink say hia na ur papa house etc are among his lexicons when you spend more than 10 seconds to just a plate of hot rice or amala with soup.


CONCLUSION
Being part of the AFSB is not just about being selected, it is the many experiences you will gather from interacting with different people, from people places with different manners and characters. You will become friends with some, beef some, endure some, tolerate some, and even have crush on some…Lol. Just spending two weeks in the AFSB will broaden your perspective and attitude. Even if you are so dull as not to learn any life lessons, you will definitely learn how to make up early, sit on the same spot for hours and of course, how to eat hot food fast. haha
If at the end of the day, I do not make the list, I have no regret, I will forever remain a member of 68th Regular Course in spirit. The AFSB seems like some sort of Citizenship and Leadership Training to me; and this I wish every aspirant, if possible, to be part of the AFSB atleast.

To all members of 68 RC who would make the final list, I hope to see you by August; but if I don’t make it, I will definitely be present at your passing out parade. To those who were evicted during the screening and those who will be evicted during second batch, go and take down 69 RC…….is that clear??

I remain Your brother in Arms.



Cc: Xslaze3xd, brutall, blackened, Godwils3, BadBullet, Lawmosh, Phoebia, samlan, demo4ril97, maryjane1997, AdmiralG, arcike, kodext, amuniiopz, biliwayne, omoemijysus, shamo17, Kstarz and everybody in the house.

Nissmo:
Bauchi state out Alhamdulillah....

vizkiz:
Oh really? That is great news!






Ode buruku

Don't go and look for a way to beg God so you can get a husband, be saying our son there. Wizkid whey no get plan for you...some girls are so dumb


"Wizkid shops for our son"...ha! Aye mi

realjoker:
Finally our main opposition party have over come the trauma of the election lost.
This is how to play opposition in a sane way, I now believe that PDP can find back their voice, unlike our wailing brothers here who are yet to recover from the shock of the recent election lost who wail profusely on every policy of the government and the unpatriotic ones among them wish the country arm just to prove to others that they made a wrong decision voting their preferred candidate.

cmartinsspiroo:
Pls am shortlisted fr 68rc buh am just scared cos I will be 22 by july pls any help or advice

Xslaze3xd:
I thought you called, and I told the possible solutions Sir,

Xslaze3xd:
I thought you called, and I told the possible solutions Sir,

Xslaze3xd:
Sir.

Xslaze3xd:
You can use it, if the original is not available, but you must bring it when you get admitted.
I'm back guys, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, I now understand what's happening, I pray for the success of You ALL.

Nissmo:
Go get yo original.... what they are concerned about its yo DOB on the original cert

ojuola1:
Detail sent to both of you.

acenazt:
Dem no reschedule me n my 40 marks still dey

Kodext:
Icekyng

Gaddafithe2nd:
Am a graduate of one of the public schools. I can say it anywhere, Davido coming out with 2:1 is not a new thing, it happens in our public schools also.
Some students won't attend class and come out with 2:1 or 2:2

Draxler:
Well to be fair they are both among the best in the country

naijalander:
Bull shit. Do you know how many private school graduates out smart and out think public school graduates. Public schools in Nigeria rely on past glory, they rely on the fact that they were the first institutions in the country but really lets be objective. I have met so many public school graduates some with first class that lack basic analytical skills. The writer is very bias. You can't even compare Covenant University with OAU today.

dragnet:
I believe they were filling up the pot holes.

Xslaze3xd:
Mine was also on goal.com, they said messi had signed for Real Madrid for £500m, as I was reading it, I was shocked and angry at it until I saw APRIL FOOL'S at the end. Those guys are crazy.

Lawmosh:
Where is maryjane1997? U should be able to print ur exam card by now.

Lawmosh:
Where is maryjane1997? U should be able to print ur exam card by now.

tomsy2:
NDA application portal said to check our names on the list of shortlisted applicants on the site. But with over 21000 names it is like searching for a needle in a haystack

MII6:
Nigerian Defence Academy

PiccoloBrunelli:
I know a front pager when I see one. I don't need to shout Lalasticlala 7 times.






Uti and the guy with the Violin though....
Who knows how to make a good agbada? I'm very serious right now. Contact me ASAP. This boys don too intimidate person.

Xslaze3xd:
Arm of Wooing. Carry on Sir,

tola9ja:
[size=13pt]Note = no wailers must most qoute if you dont want asarailu to blow final whistle for you

[/size]
BUHARI vs HIS HATERS

I am neither surprised nor worried by " their" hatred for Buhari... rats and a cat can never live in the same place. Too many things divide and draw heavy distinctions between PMB and his haters:

¤ He loves Nigeria , they hate it.

¤ He thinks of Nigerians, they think of themselves and family.

¤ He is honest, they are dishonest.

¤ He has character, they lack it.

¤ He pursues the Hereafter they struggle to have the world in their armpits.

¤ He is patriotic, they are greedy and selfish.
¤ He serves, they derail and enslave.

¤ He is devoid of moral stains, they are immorality personified.
¤ His past is clean and shinny, their past hunts them.

¤ They are thieves, he catches thieves.

¤ They have stolen, he wants to get back the loots.

¤ They are insects and pests, he is a powerful and effective insecticide.

¤ Fear fears him, they are afraid.

¤ They are running, Buhari is in hot pursuit.

¤ They call for division, he works on unity.

¤ They say Boko Haram, he calls Nigeria.

¤ They want Biafra, he chooses Nigeria.

¤They shout Niger Delta, he advocates Nigeria.

¤ They shared money for arms, he is retrieving the money and buying the arms.

¤ They sponsored insurgency, he is defeating insurgency.

¤ They are like gel, he is the fire melting them.

¤ They make the noise, Buhari does the work.

¤ They are destroyers, he is a constructor.

¤ They are wailing and weeping and crying, the man is smiling, shaking, organising and hugging poor folks.

How can they love him?
• The more they hate him, the more we love him.
• The more they fear, the more we feel secured.

I can not choose a rusted iron and leave gold. Buhari has chosen Nigeria and I have chosen him.

(Pls pass on until it gets to every patriotic Nigerian)