₦airaland Forum

koboko69:
[s]
clown. So its only APC supporters that have access to Internet? Only APC members that constitute your .001% bah. You guys like deceiving urselfs and giving yourselves false hope[/s].

tbaba1234:
The bayelsian is concerned about the Chibok girls because she is human and a Nigerian, probably a mother too. Are you only concerned about issues that affect your tribe??

I am concerned about issues that affect Nigerians where ever they might be and many Nigerians are too.

What do we gain from such clannish mentalities?

The common Nigerians do not have homogeneous opinions, there are many with negative opinions of both parties.

That is why journalists go around to feel the pulse across various demographics.

igbsam:
[s]ichidodo the pdp robot.....I need you on this thread.

come and comment.[/s]

kputus:
The baggage is suppose to motivate her to work or do a business so as to be financially independent and not be a financial burden to someone. Btw are you a minister or intending to be one?

MarvellousGod:
ichidodo... after 11 years you're still finding it hard making a decision? Hasn't she been like this all these yl or you held on thinking she would change or what??

11years is too much time already, please make your decision quick so that no much time will be wasted again... The 4year plan thing though. .. why didn't you do it all along? why now?? Someone you have been with for 11years.. 11years is more than enough time to know the person well and make your decision. . If 11years yielded nothing, I really don't see 4years making any difference...

All the best...

MarvellousGod:
ichidodo... after 11 years you're still finding it hard making a decision? Hasn't she been like this all these yl or you held on thinking she would change or what??

11years is too much time already, please make your decision quick so that no much time will be wasted again... The 4year plan thing though. .. why didn't you do it all along? why now?? Someone you have been with for 11years.. 11years is more than enough time to know the person well and make your decision. . Ifπ 11years yielded nothing, I really don't see 4years making any difference...

All the best...

kenny987:
Some have 'accused' you of being mechanical but honestly, I think it's a straightforward and forthright way of doing things. That way, everyone knows what's what and then all d romance and fun can and will happen because a good foundation has been laid and there's a goal to work towards. At 26, unless she's particularly slow, then she already knows what she wants and she has said as much. If it causes u sleepless nights and nightmares then do yourself a favour and take a bow now. If the impending baggage you see from her family will cause difficulties for you and potential wahala all around then as igbos will say, "were ire guo eze gi onu=Use your tongue to count your teeth". When you count finish, if e pass your power...do the needful. In other words look before you leap and don't 'overlook'!

You'd think having had a hard life, father dying early and all, she'd be eager to gain some financial independence but what do I know? To each his own.

babyosisi:
Are you a preacher?
It looks like this won't work o
You better part ways now
The babe has already told you what she wants unless, you are planning to open a church soon
It's like a man telling me from the get go that I will be a housewife, or that he will open a supermarket for me to be buying and selling,that will be a reason to quit.
My ex fiancé had dreams of being a politician and I couldn't see myself wearing asho ebi and campaigning on podiums and that was it ( amongst other things)
Take that girl for who she is and what she has told you not for who you wish she could become

CoCoLav:
@26 a lady already knows what she wants for her future and its difficult to change that. If her vision doesn't align with yours then you should let her go. You don't just need a wife, you need a partner...a partner that shares your dreams and vision. Even though your post came off as 'mechanical' as a poster above said, i must commend you for thinking witg your head and not with your emotions.

I however do not see the reason for the 4 year thingy. If you are gonna take the plunge....take it and hope for thebest. The 4-year plan you propose isnt plausible because as soon as the first step is taken, theres gonna be a lot of family pressure where you just might be faced with an ultimatum.

If you have serious doubts, its better you let her go so nobody's time is wasted. She aint getting any younger.

gleatz:
@Ichidodo;
I understand your plight but I want to plead on behalf of your babe. Why not give her some time, say after her NYSC and see her approach and attitude to life, give her a benefit of doubt and let's see if she would turn around for good.

Sometimes when we have all we wants @ our disposal we tend to think that's how life is. For example, I enjoyed so much luxury while in school courtesy of my father cos as at then, I was the only one in the university. But when my 3 siblings gained admission almost at the same time, they had to share what I was enjoying. It was then it dawned on me that Dada can't give me all I ever wanted.

For years now, I ve been working and fending for mysef and even give to my siblings and sometimes my parents. Its a phase. Now I can't see mysef being a full time housewife doing nothing, being @ the mercy of my hubby(in future) for every damn need

I hope she would see reasons with you soonest and change for the better.

Yadoctora:
I understand your concerns. I would seem mechanical too if anyone reads of my life plan. It would be very frustrating to have a partner who can't fit into it.
You know what you want. Go get it. Don't marry out of pity nor allow emotional blackmail. But talk to her first and make her understand what you want from her, why and how.

urchbarbie:
Hmmm! I understnd wat ure saying dear! Its just d way ure going abt it. I knw some ladies see men as money machine to take care of dier family wahala. Make her understnd dat ure not against taking care of her family, but she has to put in efforts in it. Let her understnd dat she has to be industrious. If u can set her up in sometin dat can bring in funds. There r decent biz women do dis days dat are quiet lucrative. That way, she won't be an outright oriaku (wealth consumer). When she has succesfully commenced dis biz and u tink its yielding, then u can marry her. This way, u ensure she is generating funds and ur fears alayed

urchbarbie:
Oga, if am dat lady, I won't stay with u. (If am dat lady *keyword) You're just too mechanical. Haba! Its marriage for goodness sakes. I knw its good to lay ur cards all out bfr venturing, but dis, sounds more or less like some biz proposal. I might be wrong sha. (Wetin I sabi

babyosisi:
First i am humbled that you would ask me this

I would like to understand if your 4 year plan is what you intend should be done before marriage

I say so because in 4 years this girl will be 30
That is getting up in age especially for a girl you have been with on and off 11 years

Personally I believe a woman should work and earn money to contribute to the household.

Since that is what you also believe,discuss this with her and hear what she×> says

4 years is a long time IMHO
If after 4 years and it doesn't work,then what?

Have this discussion now and if after NYSC she is not making attempt to get a job,you move on
Most heads of household can pretty much decide to cut down all that trado stuff.i hope her father can do that.

MIKOLOWISKA:
when ppl start arming themselves and shooting policemen like dogs like boko and militants that is when you pdp eyes will come down