₦airaland Forum

STFUareyouGod:
my dear, it's in him like peak milk, he can't stop being stupid

Exactly

NL please stop changing our stewpid to silly because it best suits the OP...

Darven:
Photoshop. I can't fall for this shiit. I am not that gullible

I will need stronger proof.

Ooh! Now you know that proofs need to be strong to make a case And when you were agitating for her to upload a pix with that writeup you didn't know that Photoshop existed abi You better apologize to Mrs. Phyno and bow out with the remaining shreds of dignity you might have...shithead

Darven:
Shatap your dirty mouth

Look at this one ooh. At least its just my mouth that is dirty not my brain as is the case with you. And if I don't shut my mouth, the worst you can do is to create a thread about Me. Oops! I remember! That won't do you any good cos we all already know that you're as stupid as stupid gets

Darven Shebi I been warn you before make you desist from public displays of stupidity when you start this thread you no gree? See as you don $hit for church now...Oya come pack am sharp sharp :-/

STFUareyouGod:
seconded ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️

Thirded

My Roomie in school was in home science department yet she could make portraits that amazes even the art students around...
I was a core science student but if there's one thing i spend time doing, its appreciating beauty...so your point exactly?

Because men are men and women are women...

And you're telling us because

schumastic:
yeah i know that....is just annoying when guys pretend to b girls and use it in scamming others, to me is very annoying i still feel there are only 10% girls on nairaland and 5% of those girls are registered users imo

If guys are pretending to be girls, then all everyone has to do is to leave NL ish to stay on NL...don't come looking for baes and boos here. That way everybody can have fun and we'll all be safe instead of all these bashing about who's fake and who's real. But then that's just my opinion. I guess I'll just have to wait till a thread title 'ideyhere is as fake as they get...see proofs' pops up. Until then, au revoir to this thread.

But before then, Darven that your proof get k-leg. Firstly a lot of people look alike. Secondly, if someone identified me as ideyhere in real life (ie if I ever upload my pix here), the way I go take deny you eeh, you no go believe say I even sabi say anything like NL dey exist

schumastic:
to prove his wrong change ur pic n this time, write on a piece of paper shit about the op that way we know ur write n his wrong and get him banned

And she has to go to that length to prove what exactly? That she ain't no fake on NL Absolutely unnecessary IMO

sameer1212:

Don't worry...very soon they'll bite off that your tongue for you

1. “Everyone’s always sobbing over
the fact that dudes who watch too
much porn develop a warped
outlook on sex and how women
should behave in bed and whatnot.
But no one’s worried about the
expectations women have about
penis size from watching dirty
videos featuring 10-inch dicks—and
they probably should be. The first
time I reached into my ninth grade
boyfriend’s pants to give him a
handjob, I was shocked by what
wasn’t there. I even looked down to
check that he was actually erect. He
was.”
— Becka, 25

______
2. “My super bohemian parents
have always insisted on walking
around our house naked. So the
first penis I was exposed to was my
dad’s. Usually I’d see it when it was
flaccid. But one day I walked into
my parents’ bedroom when I was
about five, and when my dad got up
to go to the bathroom, I saw this
thing protruding straight out from
between his legs. He had a raging
boner,
but I had no idea about the whole
morning wood thing yet. So I
screamed, ‘Daddy, there’s a snake
eating your penis!’ Haven’t been
able to live that one down.”
— Abigail, 23

______
3. “I didn’t perform MouthAction on a
guy until I was in college, at which
point I was embarrassed because I
couldn’t participate in conversations
about dicks with my girlfriends. So I
got wasted one night, determined
to give head for the first time. It
wasn’t all that (excuse the pun)
hard to find a willing partner. But
the guy I ended up in bed with had
what I now know by comparison to
be a giant penis. Twenty seconds
into my attempt to deep throat, I
vomited all over him. It was so
traumatizing, I waited another year
before trying again.”
— Brittany, 29

______
4. “I was one of those girls who was
ahead of her time, sexually. I
developed early, and I had urges,
you know. Raging teenage
hormones! After I gave my first
handy at 11, I became fascinated by
joysticks. I thought they were so
cool, the way grew and pulsated
and responded to my touch. I
wanted to see as many as I could as
quickly as possible. As you can
imagine, I was very popular for a
while.”
— Carly, 28

______
5. “For a long time, I was shy about
boys and sex. In high school, I
promised my boyfriend of six
months that if he officially asked me
to prom, we could move on from
dry humping to some more exciting
stuff. I was terrified of the images of
joysticks I’d seen from Googling, but
I figured I’d have to take the leap at
some point. Unfortunately, when
my boyfriend unzipped his pants
and whipped it out for the first time,
all my fears were confirmed. I
actually covered my eyes and
started crying because I wanted
nothing to do with that rocket ship
shaped thing, but I’d promised him
I’d put my mouth on it for at least
30 seconds. He was a nice guy and
didn’t make me go through with it.
We’re Facebook friends to this day.”
— Maddie, 22

______
6. “When I was a teen, I was pretty
embarrassed about my vagina. I
mean, they don’t really give young
girls any education in the what-
your-vagina-might-look like
department. Now I know there’s a
spectrum of possibilities, but back
then I just assumed mine was
weird. Well, the first time I got naked
with a boy, at 16, I did what anyone
who was utterly relieved they
weren’t the only one with funny
looking Instruments would do: I
laughed out loud. Then I watched,
with fascination, as his erection
died. Whoops.”
— Louisa, 32

______
7. “I was so eager to go down on a
guy for the first time—you know, it
was just time to cross that sexual to-
do off the list. So I approached the
quarterback of the football team at
the Winter Wonderland dance and
whispered in his ear that I wanted
to give him head. Obviously, he
consented. I pulled his pants down
in the backseat of his Jeep Cherokee
and watched him lean back and
smile as I did my thing (I’d watched
a few Jenna Jameson videos online
for tips). I was no expert, but I
quickly realized that that didn’t really
matter. I could tickle it with my
tongue and use my hands and I
loved feeling like I had so much
power over a guy that way.”
— Annie, 30

______
8. “joysticks are weird. I’ve felt that
way since the day I saw my first
boyfriend naked, and I maintain that
stance. It’s not the sausage part that
bothers me as much as the nuts.
Nuts? Why do we even call them
that? They’re more like nuts
encased in gelatinous sacs of
wrinkly, bumpy flesh lined with
prickly pubic hair. I’d die happy if I
never touched another pair of balls
again. Too bad I’m not a lesbian, I
guess.”
— Tatiana, 24

______
9. “For years, I never really
appreciated the naked male body. I
was simultaneously mystified and
borderline repulsed by it. But when
my current boyfriend first stripped
for me in his dorm room and stood
there, all vulnerable with his junk
hanging out, I didn’t just fall in love
with him—I fell for his penis. I
seriously think it’s the most
beautiful thing. I like seeing it and
feeling it in all of its various shapes
and sizes. So I’d encourage any girl
who’s feels at all put off by cocks to
hold on tight, because they’re
bound to change their mind as
soon as they meet the right guy.”
— Amanda, 34

______
10. “No matter how many tidbits
you hear from your sexually
experienced girlfriends, nothing
prepares you for the first time you
get up close and personal with a
man’s package. I threw a party in
the basement of my parents’ house
while they were away one weekend
and when it was my turn to get
locked in a closet for ‘seven minutes
in heaven,’ I was literally shaking
with nerves. I remember feeling
poked when he approached. His
dick was so hard and terrifying
unfamiliar. I just wasn’t quite ready
yet. Luckily, he was so distracted
feeling me up that we didn’t even
get past second based before
someone knocked on the door.”
— Lacey, 30

______
11. “I have a theory that girls who
say joysticks are ugly are afraid of
coming across as overly sexual or
slutty or something. I loved joysticks
since I first became acquainted with
them IRL, around age 13. I like ‘em
circumcised, uncircumcised, big,
average, pink, or brown. I mean, is
there another human body part
that defies gravity? I can understand
why a penis might look weird to a
girl at first, but all body parts are
pretty weird if you isolate them for
long enough. Stare at your foot for
five minutes and then tell me dicks
are anything but awesome.”
— Blaire, 25


______
12. “Okay, so when I saw my first
penis, I made a little mistake. I was
dating someone semi-seriously and
one thing led to another and we
started fooling around in my
bedroom, where we were supposed
to be studying. Since the lights were
still on I had a really good look
when it made its debut and I just sat
there, gawking, paralyzed in awe. It’s
startling to be confronted by a
brand new body part. So the guy
said “Everything okay?” and I said,
“Yes! It’s just so cute!” Cute. I called
a man’s penis cute. The look of
absolute terror on the guy’s face
taught me never to do that again.”

Love Machine:
There are skin bleaching creams that hides their skin color too.The easiest way to detect is her palm or middle of her an.us

You're gross...what would you be looking for in the middle of her anus

I think something is wrong with me...cos it's like I'm the only one that doesn't get entangled in the Christmas craze

JustTara:
have you ever had to use it on a guy?

Yes

Felt really good the way he was sweating about the whole thing...what's wrong with me and all. By the time I was done catching fun with him and it was time to say what the p really was, I had even already forgotten what it was he did

Anything wey you do they must talk...so why don't you just go ahead and do that which makes you happy

This is getting more and more interesting

Isn't that very close to N10000? Some people sha

Zaragirl e don happen...Oya come and school us

Darven:
Careful about what?

The kinda nonsense you spew in public :-/

Darven! Darven!! Darven!!! How many times did I call you Be kiaful...be very very kiaful

Chai girls ooh...but that silent treatment is the bomb

DeeTus:
Yes, she does. And I have no intentions for now. I'm too busy for a girlfriend.

Haa this kind friend good ooh... Anyway you didn't say anything about her being into makeup or not. If she isn't, what other things is she into?

Martins301:
I think she is one of those prostitutes on Nairaland looking for customers. December have rish grand again. Goodluck guys. Remember HIV no dey show for face.

Might not be true you know? If I were a prostitute looking for customers on NL, I wouldn't openly declare love for one nigga as this would be big time bad market and wipe away any other chances I might have had with other niggas.

But then...that's just me thinking

You said she's just a friend...but what are your intentions towards her? And does she know this?

DeeTus:
Between 20k-35k.

Depends on the kinda things she likes... You could just give her the money, you know? But if you want to buy her something, a complete make up kit would be just perfect...that's if she's into that.
If those ones don't suit you, lemme know lemme think of something else. But no matter what you do, please don't buy those pairs of jeans I saw you mention up there

DeeTus:
From the university.

Okay... What's the max you're willing to spend on this gift?

Graduating from what exactly?

opeyemiie:
haaaa ....

Yeah... You either phuck life or watch it phuck you. And the only way to phuck life is to wise up...

opeyemiie:
haaa I tink dt unfair

Life's not fair...

midehi2:
babe no need beating her.....sameer1212 is in hot soup, he has many explanations to render

That's the spirit

@Sameer1212, like I said before, nobody is beating nobody. Me and my girls are too big for that... We don't fight for no man...they fight for us

Midehi2 love, no need to ask him our stand... We already know