₦airaland Forum

@mikus
I ve never used abusive words on someone on any of the social network and I refuse to even reply you with one.I dont knw why some ppl find it so easy to abuse someone they dont knw from adam.If u dont like my post why dont you just walk away my dear.I dont knw what have gotten into some pple head.

MAKE UNA DEY USE FEAR OF GOD DEY DO SOME CERTAIN TINS

Staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and makes them live longer, a new survey reveals.
Researchers have discovered that 10-minutes ogle at woman's breast is as healthy as half-an-hour in the gym.
A five-year study of 200 men found that those who enjoyed a longing look at busty beauties had lower blood pressure, less heart disease and slower pulse rates compared to those who did not get thier daily eyeful.
Dr Karen Weatherby, who carried out the German study, wrote in New England Journal of Medicine: ''Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well endowed female is roughly equivalent to 30 minutes aerobies workout.Sexual excitement gets the heart pumpig and improves blood circulation.''
There is no question that gazing at breast makes men healthier.
Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of a stroke and heart attack in half.
we believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years''


So girls pls comply and dont misunderstand us.WE WANT TO LIVE LONG

, then the man suddendly entered his home while the wife was just about to call him to confirm his whereabount.

sorry dear.Right away

hey! wot is happening here

A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over and two said that he was still there.

@freecocoa
I ve a nice job already.Thx anyway for your ,

Ronaldinho is still d biggest football comedian, laff wan kill me today.

@zoraro
We cannot ve a tie.If nigeria win by a lone goal against Guinea, our gaol difference will increase from +7 to +8 whereas Guinea will decrease from +8 to +7.Unless u want to tell me that the goal we will(hopefully) score against Guinea will not count against dem

my friends, give a dog a bad name, then kill it, Ghadafi was a state sponsor of terrorism, so is America, Bin Laden in Afghanistan against the Russians, The Contra Rebels in Nicaragua. Ghadafi was the second Arab Leader to proposethe gold Dinar standard, The first being Saddam Hussein (poor unfortunate idiot). The gold dinar standard as a means of buying crude would tip the balance of economic power to the oil producing countries, Infact Ghadaffi was looking for trouble and baam! the west acted and look what we have here now, the libyans are going to raped even further, they are going to canonise Ghaddaffi as a saint in some years to come,

Gadaffi has overstayed and all of us in Africa believes he shoud give the young generations a chance to continue.At the same time,it is grossly not acceptable and morally wrong to support the rebels against him,to plunder and distroy what he has built in years, belive me in no distant time,the Libyans will realise whoose interest NATO is actually protecting.

I am not his follower , just that i am perplexed that he has done better than all the leaders in the history of Nigeria.From the pre colonial era to the present day

@marutimon
pls how many teams are going to qualify as best losers

BOMB PREVENTION TIPS


ALWAYS BE CONSTANTLY PREPARED!

• There is no excuse for not taking every step necessary to meet a bomb threat.



WHAT IS A BOMB?



A device capable of producing damage to material and injury or death to people when detonated or ignited. Bombs are classified as explosive which causes damage by fragmentation, heat and blast wave; and incendiary which generates fire-producing heat without a substantial explosion when ignited.



BOMBING.

A bombing occurs when an explosive bomb detonates or an incendiary bomb ignites.



BOMB THREAT.

An information or warning claiming knowledge that a dangerous device, such as a bomb or similar type of explosive, has been or will be placed in a building, aircraft or other facilities.



BOMBING INCIDENT.

Any occurrence involving the detonation/ignition of a bomb, the discovery of a bomb, or the execution of a bomb threat.



WHY PREPARE AGAINST BOMB INCIDENTS?

I encourages every citizen to be constantly prepared against bomb threats and bombing incidents.



TIPS



1. Be observant of people roaming around your area doing nothing. People with tricycles/knapsacks/bags should be driven out, as they may be used as couriers of bombs.

2. Always observe people leaving behind bags/packages/boxes in the garbage cans/bins in your premises.

3. Be observant of cars/motorcycle riding individuals who are suspiciously observing constantly your branch/office.

4. Be cautious in opening envelopes and packages sent to you by unknown individual or package with no return addresses.

5. The greatest safeguard against the effects of bomb threats is to prevent entry of unauthorized persons into certain areas, whenever possible.

6. Restricted entry and positive identification of staff and visitors can be significant factors in assessing the seriousness of any given threat.

7. Ensure good housekeeping. Bags/packages/boxes should not be left in the garbage cans/bins in your premises.

8. Strictly implement the inspection procedures of all bags knapsacks, boxes, merchandise, etc., that will enter your store/premises.

9. Suspicious looking package, paper bags, etc. left alone should be cautiously scrutinized as possible bomb(s).

10. When suspected bombs are noted, contact Head Security Services immediately.

11. It is a fundamental rule that search must be made by persons who are familiar with the area in order to notice a strange or foreign object.

12. In some instances, the detonation or ignition of any explosive or incendiary might depend on a change in environment, e.g. temperature variations or the presence of an electric current. Therefore, the personnel assigned to conduct the search should be cautioned not to cause, or at least minimize any change in the environment.

13. Do not go into a dark room and turn on the lights or change the setting of the thermostats in the room.



Thank you.

‎11. If a Libyan is unable to get employment after graduation the state would pay the average salary of the profession as if he or she is employed until employment is found.
12. A portion of Libyan oil sale is, credited directly to the bank accounts of all Libyan citizens
13. A mother who gave birth to a child receive US$5,000
14. Gaddafi carried out the world’s largest irrigation project, known as D Great Man-Made River project, to make water readily available throughout D desert country
So What's d Problem? The long rule? Wey d guy? Abeg,he needs to rule Nigeria for another 50yrs! Some1 sent me ds cud it b true? Libya sounds like heaven

‎7. If Libyans cannot find the education or medical facilities they need in Libya, the government funds them to go abroad for it – not only free but they get US$2,300/mth accommodation and car allowance
8. In Libyan, if a Libyan buys a car, D government subsidized 50% of the price
9.D price of petrol in Libya is $0.14 (N22) per litre
10. Libya has no external debt and its reserves amount to $150 billion – now frozen globally

Gaddafi’s father has died while himself, his wife and his mother are still living in a tent
4. All newly weds in Libya receive $60,000 Dinar (US$50,000) by the government to buy their first apartment so to help start up the family
5. Education and medical treatments are free in Libya. Before Gaddafi only 25% of Libyans are literate. Today the figure is 83%
6. Should Libyans want to take up farming career, they would receive farming land, a farming house, equipments, seeds and livestock to kick-start their farms –all for free

Check out Muammar Gaddafi's Leadership in Libya.1.There was no electricity bill in Libya; electricity was free for all its citizens2. There was no interest on loans, banks in Libya are state-owned and loans given to all its citizens at 0% interest by law3. Home considered a human right in Libya –Gaddafi vowed that his parents would not get a house until everyone in Libya had a home

With due apology what will happen if nigeria lose thier final match against guinea by any margin.Any hopes of qualification?

please.We need peace here.I wonder what we intend to gain from all these arguement of which most are so tribalistic.One nigeria please

A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over and two said that he was still there.

I think hausa word for bomb is BOKO.
HARAM myt mean blow!
BOKO HARAM simply means BOMB BLOW!!!
Lol,

hide ur no and call the person back, lol.jst jokin

I recently installed ym 9.0 in my new dell 2 window vista basic.The problem now is dat anytine itried to log on i will get this error message back:please click ''try again'' to re-enter your id and passwordif you have forgoten your id or password click 'sing-in problem''

The issue is dat the same yahoo messenger works well in my old laptop toshiba pentium 3 window XP

This picture don reach here!!!.Na waooh.That is computer student doing dere assigment.Na waah 4 una sef

Only great minds can read this

This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of th e hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it!

Correct version

"Only great minds can read this.
This is weird but interesting!
If you can read this, you have a strange mind too
Can you read this? Only 55 people out of 100 can
I couldn't believe that I could actually understand what I was reading. The phenomenal power of the human mind according to a research at Cambridge University, it doesn't matter in what order the letters in a word are, the only important thing is that the first and last letter be in the right place. The rest can be a total mess and you can still read it without a problem. This is because the human mind does not read every letter by itself, but the word as a WHOLE. Amazing huh? Yeah and I always thought spelling was important! If you can read this forward it!"

guys i have pro.I am about to launch my wife 1.0 but my fear is that the programme may crash my football 5.0 and beer 2.11.plaease help

LIFE'S LESSON









A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.


What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.



Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning:
There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"



The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr.Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"




The pig sympathized, but said, I am so very sorry, Mr.Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray.

Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"


The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."


So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.


That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like thesound of a mousetrap catching its prey.



The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.



The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital , and she returned home with a fever.



Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main



Ingredient: The Chicken.



But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock.

To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.





The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.



So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.



So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.



We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.



SEND THIS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER HELPED YOU OUT AND LET THEM KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE.



REMEMBER,,,,



EACH OF US IS A VITAL THREAD IN ANOTHER PERSON'S TAPESTRY;



OUR LIVES ARE WOVEN TOGETHER FOR A REASON.




One of the best things to hold onto in this world is a Friend.

CAPABILITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was this very rich Ibo man in Nnewi who had only
one daughter. When the daughter was of marriage age, the father sent news
around town that all the eligible young men should come out on a particular
day to compete in a test which would determine who was fit to marry his
daughter.
On that set day, all the able-bodied young men came
out. Some came with paper and biro and others with cutlasses and swords.
The rich man took them to his swimming pool and addressed the men: "any of
you who can swim from one end of this swimming pool to the other would marry
my daughter. In addition, I'll give him 15 million naira, a car and a house
so they can start of life well. I shall be waiting to meet my son-in-law at
the other side. Good luck!"
As the young men, all very excited at the prospect of
winning, started taking off their shirts, a helicopter came over the pool
and dropped snakes and crocodiles into the pool.
Immediately all the men turned back and started
wearing their shirts again. Disappointed, some of them said "make de man go
marry im pikin jo!".
All of a sudden, they heard a splash in the pool.
Everybody watched in amazement as one gentleman struggled his way across,
avoiding the snakes and
crocodiles. Finally, he made it to the other side as
the would-be in-law, panting.
The rich man, could not believe it. He asked the man
to name anything he wanted. The man was still panting uncontrollably.
Finally, he got himself together and made his request saying, ", show me
de pesin wey push me inside di swimming pool"

You don't know what you are capable of doing , until you are pushed.!!



God will give us the strenght to survive this teriible push we witness everyday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what a guy wrote to our systems analyst.
(Marriage Software Division):Enjoy Nedine

Dear Systems Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs
and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as 'Boys' Night out 2.5' and 'Golf 5.3' no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected 'Saturday Football 6.3' always fails and 'Saturday Shopping 7.1' runs instead.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to 'Girlfriend 7.0', but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?

, AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:

Dear Customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the,
C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance program, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as 'Flowers 2.0' and 'Chocolates 5.0' or 'HUGS\ KISSES 600.0' or 'TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0' or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1' (if Child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install 'Secretary 2.1” (Short Skirt Version)
or 'One Nightstand 3.2' (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.
BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!