₦airaland Forum

lmao
an akuko ifo (folklore) can never ever be complete without mbediogu.  poor old Mbe,lol .d funniest part is that hes always the actor,anwu anwu,if he dies,thats the end of the story.
@Echelon,have you heard the story of the birds and the tortise?
here it goes  :

       Once upon a time,there was famine in the land of Okokobioko.everyone was just trying to survive.luckily,the birds where invited to a party in heaven.they were happy and enthusiastic. . . .there would be lots to eat and drink,enough to last them for days.Mr Tortoise heard about the party too and begged the birds to allow him go with them.After a serious debate amongst the birds,they agreed to let Mr Tortoise go with them because hes an eloquent speaker.
On the D-day,they all gathered and each bird lent the tortoise a feather to fly with.just before they took off,Mr Tortoise told them that they all have to choose a name,that in occasions like this,their hosts would be addressing them by their individual names.so each bird chose a name and the tortoise chose the name "all of us".on arrival to the party,like they expected,there were lots to eat and drink.as each dish is presented to the animals,Mr Tortoise would ask " who is this for?" and the host replies "its for all of us" 
   The birds looked on in fury as tortoise gulped down everything.the different dishes and drinks.they cudnt do anything because it was for him" all of us"  their host too was amazed.he tot that prolly,its their culture to let their king eat first then .  After everything,it was time to go.the angry birds all took back their feathers from tortoise and he was stranded in heaven,no way to go home.later,one of the birds,decided to help the tortoise.
                               _{watch out for part 2} 

Not once,not twice nor thrice have i heard this ilu
Ebe a na adu nwanta nwere nne odu ka nke na e nweghi nne na amuta ihe.
when one is receiving advice from his mother,the motherless one listens and learns too
Onye bu ehi/enyi na isi a naghi eji okpa achu ukpana
one carrying an elephant on his head doesnt chase ukpana. . . .erhm grasscutter with his legs

Mortiple na Kashiff unu a nokwa ya?udo di.

echelon:
Ama m ihe m na-eme ma amaghi m ihe na-eme m

kpomkwem

presido1:
Egwu na atu kwa m.Aka nkpara la oredy, buko puwa ka anyi mee ihe anyi na eme before gi abata.
So i'choputaghi na since ibatara ify adighi happy.
Byeeeeeeee but don't pip maka ebe a awughi Felimbobo Guest Inn

lmao
ihe gi na onye na eme b4?Pres ka anyi ga nwuo mmai jare.oya ga yite bongo gi,while i zip up my crotchet.blockua mu na ukwu mango by 25 gmt.
buh-bye.

Pres i refuse to be left alone hia with nani gi.a naghi enye oke azu ha debe.Pres alakpuo m.lakwuru nwa somalia gi,while i lakwuru Romy,today bu turnu ya.  
darfur ka chi foo and dont dream of mu,biko.
Pres ka chi foo.dream wellu wellu.its your right !,ihe i na apughi ime na ife,me di thing na nro,o nweghi onye ka akporo gi police.

ka chi foo  

Ikomi ole smoke?   anwuruoku 2008 !

presido1:
Kee kwanu ote isiri mara usi nwa somali, ify odika gara umu somalia anara go nsusu before.
Fake ga anu nke a.

dont go i ku asiri na eweghi uru o ga abara gi.
onye toro nnem ochie from ma imere nne side nuru di onye somalia.
Fake makwa abt it.so even while asleep,i can tell a somalian from a trillion malawians also i can tell a somali akpa amu from burundi akap amu without even feeling it.lol go figure.
ofe m ree oku today,gi na darfur ka ahu ihe m ga eme unu.

darfur:
but ify,
echem na asi na, ana aru extension behind the bois kwotas

tinyenu nwa sudan that side. achoghikwa m inu ebe aji gbara too much maka umu hais ndia anaghi adi m mma at all

i ga a passi dis your request to the rite person. . .the main landlord,Oga Fake
o buru na okwete,a ga aruru gi an extension of the bois kwotas within 3 working days.i nwetabeghi onodu i bido tiwe order i dikwa sure na barracks a ga aba gi?o kwa i zota ala first before i towa ute?i bukwa onye igbo sef?
@Pres,hmmmn kissia na esi nwa somalia nwa somalia who have you been kissing?ole nnenneigbo sef.i wud told

darfur:


ebelebe igba eeeeeee

supporter of APC lekwa oooo
ify, room and parlour, guest room etc

ify tinyenu m na boys kwotas

even d bois kwotas dikwa occupied
choo otu onu uzo dabere na ya,maybe o nwere onye di lucky to escape you can now pack in.sorry,Ify a digo higly booked.site na common room rute na bois kwotas,mmadu nocha ya.no face,no time,no usu,no shaking.

presido1:
Ify iwe ona ewe gi?
Joke joke joke all d way.
Ntoooooooooooo gi.

iwe wegbukwa ekwensu.
iwe ana ewekwanu m say gini mere?
onye putara na ogbo njakiri a naghi ewe iwe.
I sim nto?nakwa e checki   i ga emecha koro ogiri rachaa.onu ahu i ji sim nto ga emecha kissie mu  

presido1:
By comparism asi na nke felimbobo di too small compared to nke ify.
Ebe fake giri mere room and parlour, even asi na onwere snooker board na ime ebe ahu hara tosh na eji anokori ma tosh bia visit.

Ok.i wonder onye gwara gi ihe a
lol.i chefuru na ha hapuru gi balcony,guest bedroom for Romy na upper chamber maka Ikomi .unu abuo na awa anya oke.***hisses*

darfur:
lol.

but ify o,
buko iwe ewekwala gi
i mana mu na gi bukwa nwanne somehow or at least anyhow
enwere ajuju m choro iju gi
how does fake dabala ime your . . . _{you know now} ? with his global akpa amu
i understand if fake dabala felimbombo b/c felimbombo wu world exclusive dissolver of akpa-amutic-akpamulus

but you, to cover fake . . .   . . . he he he heee. . . . presido leee. , inokwaya

wait i didnt see this  
first,mu na gi abughi nwanne  
fake na adaba dia otu o si adaba dia.chamfa,uptown ma o bu downhill. . .all ways/both ways.nigerian airways  
thirdly,otu anyi si eme onwe anyi ndaba does not gbasara gi.mind your akpa amulistic biz  

darfur ga choo ihe i ga eme akpa amu.o dika o na ako gi oko.  
Pres iwe wegbuo gi dia.Otele no na Otele nnenne ugbua. lol dont quote me buko,aka m dikwa ocha,hoha.i no see anything ooo.
@all ka chi foo nu.oga alotana oru.e nwere m ofe onugbo na eju . . .o nwere onye akpiri ogologo o na agara?
Romy,onye vital hairs. di tin atogbuolam.
Ikomi,nwoke scanty hairs.lol no wonder i jighi anya ahu gals nwere aji.
ndi igbo uhuru chi oma nu  

presido1:
okpoo enyi nne ya. take note

ok sir.
ikwu amaghi ibe ezi ya
when one is ignorant,his kinsmen teaches him
onye afo sagburu nna ya na eji oka kporo nku/oka okpo eme nri mgbe dum
if diarrhoea kills ones dad,he eats dried corn all the days of his life

darfur:
ify
of course nke fake ezuorola gi. nke fake wu global akpa amu. cover-a uwa nile
nke romanus di romantic. de akpa amu nwere vital long hairs underneath. dikwa rugged ka ahu elephant.
ify, anuru m na ina enye cyber touch. buko ka m were kwa akpa amu m lakpuo m'ime uwe otele m.

owu eziokwu sef, kedu ebe onye ahu ana akpo otele nu? odikwa ndu. ka administrator omego nke ojiri wuru aturu

i feel like quoting this over and over again
Romy secret gi has been exposed nwoke nwere aji black na white na akpa amu ehen,ugbua ka m matara di secret.lol.lol
i choro cyber touch?i choro cyber kiss?i choro cyber rove?i choro cyber fight?i choro cyber gono?i choro cyber AIDS? were otu !
Otele no na panti nnenneigbo,juo nnenne maka otele _{yes Pres,if u want go die}
onye si na onwe ala a bunu imported aturu.aturu ndi Panya.

presido1:
don't be suprise na otoro my elder brother
ok i'choro ilu ndi ajibota?

o nwere ike i gbara nnem ochie enyi sef
@Topic,e mee ngwa e meghara odachi
if you do things at the right time,u wud avoid eventualities
@Pres a si nwata kpo onye oma,o kpo nne ya
when you ask a child to call who he knows,he wud definitely call the mum

presido1:
Anaghi m eme nke etere shampoo

a naghim eme nke na etoghi ogologo gba dimkpa  

darfur:
lekwa ify na akpa amu m
akpa amu ole ka ihurula na threadia

nke fake alone, akpa amu kajaritic felimbombo huru rie mbombo oso
akpa amu fake is bigger and more rugged than akpa amu nile nu nairaland

ma ofo akpa amu tosh
akpa amu eji eme lecture na medical school.   diseases of akpa amu

ify buko bia lekwa akpa amu m, ossama adighi ya

lmao.
o burukwa na ahutulam akpa mmadu na threadia ma ha forokwa akpa amu. . .m lawa aro ka m mekwa mistake landia na ulo osama. nna men but your description of akpa amus a dikwa egwu.biko ole otu nke Romy di?just curious  

darfur:
presido

akpa amu m nwere the right to be touched by ify
olee otu unu ga esi deny-ia ya that right?
after ify mechara nke unu, oruola turn-u m okuko e-develop-uo teeth overnight
ify buko lekwa akpa amu m

i refuse to lee your akpa amu.are you sure na i nwere akpa amu sef?o kwa Ikomi si na ngbo ekpe turu gi somewhere dia   Darfur biko buru akpa amu gi rere ere gawa.nke Fake ezugoro m

Pres biko a murum na 1990 tuorom ilu according to my age
@Pres,elewe okwu,elewe agba/onu o si puta
when you look at a word,you wud at same time look at the mouth that said it
@Topic,nwatakiri gbere e gbere tam aru,m ga egbere egbere tagwara ya.
if a child comes crawling and bite me i wud also crawl back and bite him

oke aha ana etu nwa dibia mgba afa na atokari ya karia ego o na agbata na afa
the praises showered on a seer/native doctor is highly appreciated than the money paid to him

darfur:
anwuruoku ga ekogbugi o.
ike burial adighi kwa m. ahula m enough na darfur
lekwa akpa amu m, ossama adighi ya, mana bush diya

hush hush hush  ! ! e kwela Ikomi nu ihe a.
ihe a wu match made in bed,sanctioned b  d pillow and arranged by Ikomi  
anwuruoku bukwa our candidate for Ify west and south.vote for him buko.

akpa amu gi ka i sim lee   fiakwa,ala aruola.

ngwanu completeia d list  
Fake  ,Romy,Toshie,Ikomi,Pres,Oziomatv,Uche2nna _pending na ndi ozo   o burugodi sef na ike na atom ka sugar ndi hausa sef  
ngwa lekwa ihe m mere ibe gi   i rove you tooo mush  
lets do it in camera,nata Pres ma o bu Ikomi ma contacts.lol

  anwuruoku 2008

presido1:
.Ify onye nyetu, yetu darfur maka ohuru ihe na agha, otego since daf nusoro uto ya, Dar nwunne jide obi gi aka na olisa anu go okpere gi.

e nyela m gi before? kowakwa ooooh.hmmn
darfur i jikwa ego gi?d thing dikwa expensive.lol Pres lekwara ala o ketara na oke i ji were hu nani crotchet,can you beat dat feat?
nwe ndidi,gwuru na line,o turn by turn.lmao

presido1:
Mkpiri mba bu ita na ata ha maka ezi unkwu adighi amu abuo abuo


Anya kporo akpo lara onye nwe ya nu na ahu.

e nwere thread okwu ntabi ire,just go there or better still create a thread for outdated okwu/ilu igbo dat takes the intervention of town criers,great grannies and even eze himself to translate.
@Topic,onye zakoo,ya kpoo.
he who sweeps should also pack the dirts

ofor eze. . .kings staff of office
Oji ofor. . . .symbol of justice.a just justice
@OP what are you trying to say?whats the message now?whats all these rantings abt osu?

Darfur,hmmn i na achom okwu.i na ha eji nwayo nwayo a bam ime   Toshie wukwa ma step 2nd cousin   Fake knows abt that.o buru na i choro i ku asiri,be very well informed tupu i bido.***hisses**   Ok,a mam ihe bu iwe gi. . .eme nwata ka emere ibe ya obi a di ya uto,ngwa i rove you too     lmao

Uche2nna:
Umu aka ka no na akpa amu uche  

i choro ka anyi nyere gi aka piputa ha    

presido1:
I hope u are not trying to say "Respond" for the kiss maka agaghi m e'respondu.
Ify atupuru la darfur onu, sound shettima janja weed ka na enye ya nsogbu na nti and uburu isi ya.

dont respond bush man.e jimkwanum kiss ndi ogbanje gi eme gini sef.  
fakeyyyyyyy   _{ngwa pres ga kpo isi na okwute}  

oooh lawyer ikpe ama.i rest my case.am not putting on uwe m ji ako onu tata so i wud let you gafee today.
@Pres,i gaghi aku nwata ihe narakwa ya akwa
you cant beat a child and still stop him from crying
@Topic,ihe di na be oke di na be nkapi
what is inthe rats hole is in the crickects hole too.

Fesse wu nwanne Toshie i na anapu ihe na nzuzo.i maghi aha ya?lol
oya send me back ma kiss.i no kiss you anymore.ihe m mere with obi ocha a hola ihe ozo,uwa nke a sef  
M tinye ego na akpa abi?ago Fake?i hula nu gi.i choro m nata Fake ego m bia spendia on you abi   o burugodi ogwu ma obu uto ihe a sef   o gaghi ere.i bind you.

now,iwe a bialam.highest iwe too  
darfur,ole ebe i nwetara that info?onye kwara gi na mu na pres bu nwanne?buko get me right,uyo pres ha wu ebe imerennem uyo wu nke mi na ya na Fake ofcos .lol
Uche2nna goodmorning ole maka umu aka gi?

A maghim ihe m ga agwa gi now.Translate not kowachiate(meaning)

presido1:
Uda aki ilu na onu awughi uto ya
Asi na onye na amaghi ncha agba gbara nchara ya kpo ya nchaaaa

please translate these two let me see. Just try

uda aki ilu na onu awughi uto ya
the sound of bitter kola in the mouth is not its taste
nke abuo dikwa egwu. i wont even watse my oge trying to translate it.
Pres took kiaful

darfur:
hmmn, ify na presido

gini mere fake?

ify, fake o butela oria n'enweghi aha from ime panti gi? anuru m na o bi n'ime panti gi for the past three months, ebe o na agba oso police/felicia na london.

lmao
ole ihe Ify na pres mere
o di na nso nwanne na nwannne i nwuko mmanya na otu iko?
biko hapu m aka jare. o di nti fere puo fere puo mana o nweghi ihe o nuru fere puo.
Fake di nma.o nweghi ihe merenu. .o nweghi ihe gbasara fake na felicia.n'ime panti m ka fake ga ano till anwuruoku do us part.
ole maka umuaka gi,darfur?ndi odozibedi gi kwanu?

cheeeeeei  
Pres ole ihe mu na onye aka gum dika gi na eme sef?  
ole ihe jikoro mu na aka aradite dika gi?mu?to pay?tufiakwa  

mba,e nwere m appointmenti with nwanne drogba echi. Ka anyi hapu ya on eke na abianu.infact a gaghim awukwa guiness ozo.agam anwu Tuborg.lol nke ahu bu mmai ndi Civ, "tuborg" na atu mbo na ike.  
egwu ahu bi igba.lekwam ikpom shoe.dalu  
nke a m kisiri gi i hope na iwe a gaghi abia some mmadu dika ,nnene,fesse, lol

Na onodu Obula,i di nma Jisos.mgbe olili anya na adighi,i na egosi onwe gi dika chi.dalu

presido1:
Na we two drink am, so bring urs make i bring mine, na u take me out no dey for this one.
Cuz na u drink pass me.

Ole ote iri, mmaya oka na egbu gi? Onye nkwu nwe obioma

ihere a na emekwa gi
u carry me go out and yet i na eme m expect i kwu ugwo mmai cheeei,u for tell me say u be hungry boi Ok,i give you two days to gather yourself togeda ga gwuo ugwo mmanya ndi ahu or m kporo d woman na ndi eke bia na ulo gi we be friends a dighikwa na nke a.

lol Pres guiness ahu di too light o dika ha aruwala aba guiness.maybe owu akuraku
mmanya a na egbukwanum for what?according to Ikomi,ikuku a naghi ebu ukwu arafat
Pres a rim nma.anwuruoku na ekele gi oooooo

presido1:
onye nkpunkpu dara ada si owuru le ya wuru ala.

Asi na ala nku ihu gbaa jaaaaaa.

m si na m hotara even quarter of ilu gi ndia a bum onye asi.
ole ihe mere dat u cant stick to the rules?nti gi awu for fancy?buko,ituo ilu,try to translate
@Topic na Pres,Kama i ga akwo mmadu na azu,ukwu ya a na akpu na ala,biko hapu onye ahu,o jiri ukwu ya gawa.
Rather then backing someone and yet his legs wud be on the ground,leave the person to walk

heheeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
aka nri na aka ekpe a naghi ese okwu.
Romy na Ikomi ole ubochi unu abuo ga eyipu panti unu gbara oto luo ogu.a gam a likei i bu refree ubochi ahu.nani mu,no linesman.

romeo:
akwa iko?

pushing cup?

Ikomi:
I said it. Someone is pushing me. Wokem gaa feee ma ichoo iga feee, but akwana'm aka.

effects of mmanya without anwuru.if you should nwuola mmai,take anwuru to push it down pls.
Ikomi ozi m ziri gi erugokwa anwuruoku nti? anwuruoku 2008

Pres nwanyi ugwu ngwo na aju ajuju gi.ga gwo ugwo mmai gi buko
igbo hi

Ikomi:
Tamunoseipirioku. Is that Ijaw or Okrika.

Although we call her Tammy for short.

Names like that makes u wonder why the word abbreviation is so long.

lmao.

@Topic,Ikomiemiphobia . . . Ikibiri name,meaning " no more talks"