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Illicit's Posts

Nairaland Forum › Illicit's Profile › Illicit's Posts

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Nairaland General › Re: Have You Ever Won An Award? by illicit(m): 1:07am On Mar 30, 2017
I dont really know if prizes count as awards. I av won several at quiz and debate shows.
Jokes Etc › Re: Weather For Two by illicit(m): 12:19am On Mar 30, 2017
how is this a joke biko
Literature › Re: Watchman by illicit(op): 10:18am On Mar 28, 2017
When the patrol vehicle arrived, the guard was still at his gate, the compound he guarded was housing a 3 bedroom bungalow owned by a Late woman. The house was furnished but unoccupied, he had his shed behind the gate, there were no bushes or flowers in the compound just like the adjacents'. No dogs either.
It was a battered landcruiser, If the Jeep had eyes, it had seen better days. A man in beards and mufti alighted, holding a pistol as he introduced himself as Inspector Kola, he gestured to the man behind the wheels and intoduced him as Corporal Wale. The Inspector was holding a pistol and wearing a flak jacket, the corporal stood near the car and looked around. The siren was still wailing, the mosque and the dogs were quiet.
Good morning, he continued, his eyes were red and his voice husky, sounded like someone who had kept vigil.
Morning,Sir. The guard replied and stiffened. The officer nodded and pointed with his gun towards the jeep.
You called the police?
Yah, I heard a cry earlier from this compound, he pointed to the next compound but the cop did not turn to look, he seemed to narrow his eyes then blinked, he was pointing his gun at the floor now.
What kind of noise? The cop asked.
A man in pain but I hear no other voices.
Did you go in?
He shook his head.
Did you hear dogs?
Yes but no dogs on this street. Maybe from the next street. They bark every morning though when they hear the muezzin from the mosque crying.
Ok.
What kind of house is inside the compound and who stays there?
Never been inside but I know a woman used to stay there.
Ok. Whats ur name.
The guard told him.
Are you new here?
Three months.
Did you hear anybody go in yesterday or night?
No.
When did you go in?
Didnt. I called you while a lady walked out of there.
Didnt you stop her? the cop was moving towards the house now, gun pointed, the guard followed and explained that he dont have to. He was expecting the cops anyway and if they had been on time they would have met her. He didnt tell them about the Benz G wagon that was on the street and the missing pack.
At the gate. The cop motioned to his deputy to stay with the guard and take his statement, he was in and out of the house in 10 minutes and was still carrying his gun in his right hand and a pack in his left, the pack was very similar to the one he saw the kidnapped lady dropped earlier. He looked at his watch, lets say about 2 hours ago, the time was aproaching 7am.
Whats in there? He asked as the officer returns to the jeep and the corporal was on the phone calling their station for photographer.... The officer stopped the siren.
Evidence, the officer replied.
The guard shrugged and wonder why the police wasnt asking much questions.
Then as if the officer was eavesdropping on his thoughts, he suddenly asked,why are you the only watchman on an almost empty street?
Well, this house needs a guard.
What do you think the lady stole in there? The cop asked.
I dont know who she is, I dont know if she stole. He replied looking the officer in the beard.
Do you carry a weapon?
Yes officer, I have a Rifle and a pistol, company issued.
What company?
Horsemen securities, Beside Allen.
Ok. The cop quipped.
Were you issued a knife?
Yeah, But I dont carry it.
Such a bad job she did in there, seems with weapon of choice. What do you think?
I think you need to ask me to give you her description so you can start looking for her and bring her in for questioning, the guard replied looking at the officers shoulder.
I think you can do better than that, you can give us her house address, she is ya friend, see? You let her go. He said and was smiling at his corporal who was getting behind the wheel now, he nodded and grunted "Sure" and kept a straightface as he settled in the seat.
My job is to guard that house, he pointed to his compound.
Anybody comes to your house? The corporal asked.
No, the owner is late but the heir apparent is in spain and will be coming home for christmas.
What about this? The corporal pointed to the adjacent compound.
I see a woman there couple of times when I just got here.
Whats her name? The corporal asked producing his notepad from his breast pocket and plucked his pencil where it was tucked behind his ear. He looked like a dwarf bodybuilder. The officer looked like his dad.
One Mrs Caroline.
What about her husband?
I dont know, But she was always wearing casts.
She could have travelled.
Hopefully.
What of those other houses?
The owners dont stay there, only some maintenance people coming around once in a while, its always a lonely street.
No guards?
Yes just me and my compound.
What do you do before you were a guard?
Nothing I was jobless.
Did you learn a trade? Now the police officer and the policeman were questioning him interchangeably.
No... I was in school.
You lived in this city?
Yes, born and bred.
The officer produced a cigarrete pack, removed one, offered the pack to his subordinate, who picked one and tucked it behind his ear. Then he offered the pack to the guard who was sitting on a pavement near the jeep now, the doors were open, the officer was standing right in front of him, the corporal was in the car, the officer was still holding his gun. He refused the cigarretes and explained he dont smoke...
Can I see your knife? The officer asked quickly while staring him fully in the face.
Yes. At the company, I dont book for it every weekend.
Weird. The corporal grunted.
Well... You dont think you need one? Well something happened inside there. He pointed to the victims compound. Say, suppose somebody grabbed you from behind and you couldnt draw a gun? If you did what if you shoot yourself. What will you do in such case?
Well, If someone was that close, I could stab myself too or the assailant could stab me with my own dagger. Said the guard.
Well, the "someone" might be armed and not need your dagger unless maybe the victim was naked perhaps in their bed. The officer replied.
People in their bed dont grab people from behind, officer, except its rape or schizophrenia. The guard said.
Ok. Thats good. Rape. You think thats why she left hurriedly?
Who left?
Your girlfriend, perhaps it was her voice you heard screaming. Maybe someone wants to rape her. As the officer said this slowly he was watching the face of the guard intently, the sun was coming out in the sky behind his shoulders and he was smoking another cigarrete.
Well am sure it was a mans voice, and please I dont know the girl.
But you know her voice, you are damn sure it wasnt the girl that sreamed. Well I think its the girl, maybe somebody wants to have a good piece of her but her friend came by to help with a dagger. The officer explained slowly and gesticulated a lot.
I dont know about that. Look I got to get back to my post. He stood slowly and wiped the seat of his trousers mechanically, he felt like having coffee but he thought someone was hiding in the neighbourhood and the police he was talking to doesnt seem to know much.
He offered his hand to the officer who shied away then asked, "You the only Wathcman on this street, It must be boring"
Well, I think I will get a dog.
Good.
The officer produced two cigarretes from the pack and offered him one again, he refused but noticed this time that the brand was Aspen. Rare.
What did you study?
Sociology. He replied and there was a glint and note of surprise plastered on the face of the cops, the corporal broke a sigh.
Where?
YUNI.
What set?
2005. He said and walked towards his house.
Ok. Be back later, you can look around if you see any body wandering, let us know, some cops will arrive soon, do give them the desciption of the lady. The officer called after him.
Alright Inspector, he said silently.
It was 7.30 am as the jeep drove away, this time the siren was muted.
1 Like
NYSC › Re: Good News! Corps Members Can Now Service Abroad, Says NYSC DG by illicit(m): 5:50pm On Mar 26, 2017
NYSC for the rich
Romance › Re: See What Konji Did To This Guy (no S.ex Before Marriag? Bewarned B4 Its Too Lt ) by illicit(m): 5:41pm On Mar 26, 2017
na wa o
Nairaland General › Re: 5 Intriguing Places You’re Not Allowed To Visit by illicit(m): 5:31pm On Mar 26, 2017
Interesting
Nairaland General › Re: PHOTO: I Have Decided To Be A Lesbian- Young Girl by illicit(m): 5:20pm On Mar 26, 2017
whatever rocks your boat might capsize it
Politics › Re: Why Army Is Going To Sambisa- Buratai by illicit(m): 8:42pm On Mar 25, 2017
Go come
Family › Re: Photo Of Mother & Son Relaxing On A Yacht Got People Arguing by illicit(m): 8:40pm On Mar 25, 2017
Wellllllllllllllll
Family › Re: Let us hear word! Moral decadence is not a 21st century thing by illicit(m): 12:52pm On Mar 25, 2017
oya wey d pix
Family › Re: Things I Am Seeing In Guest House, Women are not to be trusted by illicit(m): 9:52pm On Mar 15, 2017
OP you are just a male chauvinist pig, the women came in the company of men but you choose to lambast just the women, are you saying only men have a right to adultery? smh4u
Family › Re: 6 Brutal Truths That Will Make You A Better Person by illicit(m): 11:52am On Mar 15, 2017
moreover its only zombies and robots that just acts withiut thinking
Family › Re: 6 Brutal Truths That Will Make You A Better Person by illicit(m): 11:51am On Mar 15, 2017
Truesapiosexual:
What if you think about it and dont act on the thought ?
its still your thought, you must have thought about the consequences and then make up your mind not to follow the thought cos you think you can do better
Jokes Etc › Re: Where You This Smart As A Kid?(photo) by illicit(m): 11:39am On Mar 15, 2017
dont tell me u wouldnt av done that too
Pets › Re: See How This Ferocious Lion Celebrated Her Third Birthday With Her Handler (phot by illicit(m): 11:20am On Mar 15, 2017
Rough play
Romance › Re: 12 Things That Can Make You Less Attractive, According To Science by illicit(m): 11:19am On Mar 15, 2017
13. if you are always broke
Family › Re: 6 Brutal Truths That Will Make You A Better Person by illicit(m): 9:10am On Mar 15, 2017
@ no 4, its your thought that matters though as it is what defines your actions, Napoleon Hill
Nairaland General › Re: Ali Vs Senate: Finally Customs Cg Hameed Ali Wears Uniform by illicit(m): 9:07am On Mar 15, 2017
e be like say u dey mad with ur fake news and photoshop abi, weyrey
Crime › Re: Air Force Personnel Carefully Planned Murder Of Girlfriend by illicit(m): 8:43am On Mar 15, 2017
very stupid boy, how did he got enlisted self, they should have tried his temperament
Health › Re: What Happens When You Sleep Too Much? Find Out! by illicit(m): 8:33am On Mar 15, 2017
Too much sleep can make you broke
Romance › Re: I Am Sick But I Cannot Resist My Urge For Sex. I Don't Want To Die Now! Help by illicit(m): 8:30am On Mar 15, 2017
hmmmm if ur dick can still rise it means it needs appeasemant...
Jobs/Vacancies › Re: VACANCY!!! Become One Of Our Instructor!!! by illicit(m): 10:45pm On Mar 14, 2017
mambodilah:
We appreciate the comments that have been made by interested applicants so far.

Those who have dropped one form of contact or the other would be notified in due course.

You may keep sending your comments though.

Thanks.
you didnt ask for contact in your original,post though
but here is mine 07064550358
I tutor A level students in Art subjects
Education › Re: 25 Shocking Facts About Snakes That You Probably Didn't Know by illicit(m): 10:40pm On Mar 14, 2017
sasko:
pls can you enlighten me better... I'll like to get rid of that nonsense called..(OPHIDIOPHOBIA)

I took every courage in me to open this thrash because of (OPHIDIOPHOBIA)

tell me how to overcome it
.
well I never said I cure phobias though but Fear generally is a state of the mind, you might just have to work on your mind, the interesting thing is that everybody has a phobia, one of the most common is Arachnephobia, the fear of spiders
Science/Technology › Re: Why You Look Different In Photos Than You Do In The Mirror by illicit(m): 10:32pm On Mar 14, 2017
obafemee80:
illicit drugs r making u stup.d
how?
Education › Re: The World's Finest Brains In One Photo by illicit(m): 8:46pm On Mar 14, 2017
whats the story behind the pics, somebody enlighten me pls
Science/Technology › Re: Why You Look Different In Photos Than You Do In The Mirror by illicit(m): 8:08pm On Mar 14, 2017
balderdash
Celebrities › Re: Mr Eazi Shares Epic Throwback Photo From back When He was Suffering (photo) by illicit(m): 8:05pm On Mar 14, 2017
wheres the suffering?
Education › Re: 25 Shocking Facts About Snakes That You Probably Didn't Know by illicit(m): 8:00pm On Mar 14, 2017
phobia for snake is known as OPHIDIOPHOBIA
Christianity Etc › Re: Edo Pastor Caught Sleeping With Married Woman In Church Office (Pics, Video) by illicit(m): 6:53pm On Mar 13, 2017
Interesting15:
You mean Jesus asked him to do this?
no I mean no one can use the name of Jesus to fool me

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