₦airaland Forum

my ememies are false alarms they really don't mean any harm

I live outside the law so only outlaws can judge me

I will have to tell you this story in parts, as putting it all together cost me an arm and a leg

shout out to the suicide bombers. hottest things in town, i mean you guys are the bomb, always dressed to kill

obasanjo owns a university, does that ring a bell?

a WORD is enough for the wise, explains why they EXCEL

novakane:
I tried to dissuade my boss from asking me to do a complex job on "spreadsheet" that'll last for the next 40days but he said my excuses aren't
"EXCEL-LENT " enuff.

you can do better

i told the manager i had lost interest in his bank on no particular account..... he said i should have just save my words, but that was just my two cents.

Getting anywhere in life is all about TIME, all you have to do is WATCH your steps.

Living in the future
In a different culture
Paints in the mind a picture
Frame in your mind a vulture
That's living on the dead
And living in their stead
While pissing on their head
Whatever that they stood for
All is gone and done for

The globe has turn around
The earth has run aground

Once the music was slow
And the maidens were so
Then the dresses were low
But now it rides up and show
The camel and it’s the toe

GMan650:
The game needs change, can I get a QUARTER BACK


In American football(a game) there is a position played by a quarter-back AND 25cents is called a quarter and it's usually used as change in the U.S so dz pun game needs change can I get a quarter back

your explaining the whole thing has spoiled the pun and the fun

firstEVA:
hahahaha, on a second look, I saw the pun bloody and vampire
U are good

Lol thanks for the compliment

firstEVA:
not exactly

Haa u fall my hand. I asked u with pun u shd reply with same lol

firstEVA:
nice one

Thanks dear, Now let me ask u a bloody question, are u a vampire?

If your TIME never CUM, F.U.CK the CLOCK

There is this epileptic’s story I came about, it intrigued me that the human being could be plagued by things that the ordinary mind couldn’t decipher like attacks from unseen but malevolent gods, this attacks could either be reprisal or provocative naturally, the young man had suffered and his illness seemed incurable despite the fact that his father was a great medicine man who also came from a very long line of rapacious herbalists known very far and wide, their specialty is the treatment and cure of palsy, leprosy, madness, bad coughs and infertility, some people would say it was nemesis that caught up with the man’s genealogy as it was known in this part of Africa that some sicknesses were better cured free of charge or else the same illness with all its symptoms might manifest in the life of younger generations of whoever charged money for the cure of such afflictions like schizophrenia, epilepsy and leprosy, but this sire and his sires were so good at this art that they assumed a token could be ransomed from patient’s family without repercussions, as it seemed now they were wrong. Their young son had palsy before he could even crawl.
The old herbalist died after his several personal attempts to cure his son failed, he had developed high blood pressure as it was a shame that he, a very powerful occult from a clinical heritage that had rid several people of their ailments could not cure his progeny, he died shamefully but his son’s travails never diminished, it was believed that his death wasn’t natural, there is the believe that it was chemically assisted. However the son grew but couldn’t get a spouse as most people like to consider him a plague, notwithstanding the known fact that his predicament wasn’t hereditary or communicable.
There was also the rumor that his mother had been caught trying to feed him some herbicide exactly the day he clocked ten and his situation seemed irredeemable already, that she was sent away by his father’s kinsmen who frowned at the attempt on their young blood’s life even as he was considered a misfit and embarrassment to their nomenclature, well the fact was that the woman left anyway but the family always insist that the woman had left unconditionally, till he became an adult the woman never came back for him, the effect his mothers desertion had on him was that he lost the basic care he had enjoyed while she was around, he was really left on his own, he had no playmate even among his father’s kiths and kins, he was practically existing but not living, he was disfigured because many times when he was alone and having a fit he contacts dangerous objects and substances while gyrating. There was a time when he was eleven that he fell and started convulsing near naked flames that was busy consuming an empty neighboring hut, some other kids had started the fire and fled when it was getting out of control, he was just passing by and tried to get attention with help to stop the fire before it could spread to other huts but in the excitement he developed a fit, unluckily there was nobody around to help, he had rolled near the conflagration, his body beginning to burn and smell like roasted bush meat, it was the odor that attracted the nearest person who had to pull him away from the inferno with a long stick forked at the end, the whole of his left side had burned, peeled, later healed but left ugly scars.
When he matured and dropped out of school due to shame, he couldn’t get a job on account of his appearance and the fame of his klutz, so that he went into business selling foot wears where he soon made tangible money that made some of his peers who had rejected him to accept him, he was made a proposal, the position of the patron of their elitist club was offered him uncontested but the price was that he host their forthcoming perennial meeting and the feast that follows, this meant nothing to him as he calculated offhand that the whole ceremony’s expenses would barely leave a dent in his purse, the real situation was that those other guys had seen that he has a lot of money to throw around but very few people to throw it on, so they had made themselves available for the task, meanwhile he was so elated that he could be so honored that he consulted his kinsmen who readily agreed not to let him down as they were all wrapped in effusion, they promised him necessary support in monetary terms, admonitions and service. As it was thought such ceremony might improve his status and lot in the community.
The chosen day arrived and preparation started, tripods were erected all over his compound and a cow was slaughtered as yam foofoo was being prepared with egusi and okra soups, the event had pulled crowd, but not because most of them came to celebrate with him, some were there superficially just to witness his indubitable and impending ridicule, Epilepsy patients were wont to be allergic to excitement in any form. In expectation, he had consulted and bribed oracles to make the day shame free, they had taken advantage of his desperation to charge him exorbitantly, well to save face was what matters to him and so he had complied without complain................. to be continued