₦airaland Forum

to be continued...........

Sometimes it gets too late before returning home from outings as we might have had to go to school, attend classes all through, meanwhile on lecture free days we might just keep strolling around from hostels to cafes, see friends, go watch football or play PS, then venture to bars and when it’s getting somewhat darker, you can head straight to the school’s guesthouse where frolicking on credit is permitted.
Automatically a card carrying student is entitled to some of those privileges but some students do abuse it, if not so, any student visiting the guesthouse is entitled to a free dinner but around the time dinner gets done the few students around could be bet on to have gotten super drunk and troublesome that they would barely remember what supper actually means.
Suddenly some boys and tomboys alike might develop the fetish for picking and flinging bottles across the room to break it on the adjacent wall where some other guys they had recently beefed about might happen to be sitting, such an ugly coincidence, those other guys might then decide to retaliate impromptu if they wanted to be brave or might decide to pretend they don’t know where the missile came from if they were lily hearted like they might just decide to keep the malice till when they got on the dancing floor and then take it out on some other guys they know they could easily bully about, the issue gets complicated as those latter boys might be somehow affiliated to the original ones that initiated the melee as they could share some sort of allegiance, the highest point of the evening would be when unisex slaps, kicks, strange weapons and blood starts circulating like a hula-hoop, sometimes school security might have to be called in to let out some drunk delinquents or take them to school jail, unfortunately most nights every student will have to be evacuated from the premises if things were heading to getting out of hand, this particular night was just like that……………
I always manage to excuse myself unmarked from such situations but on account of my being a peptic ulcer patient I always had to munch something no matter how inebriated I got, so that particular night I found my way to the hostel all alone hoping to cook something up therein, it was around 9pm but there was no one in there coupled with the fact that there was no electricity supply too, the whole place was dark, it could be so scary when you are alone in there at such moments as the building was just at the mouth of a very big mangrove swamp that was filled with cairns, the place used to be a shrine for Soponna the Yoruba god of chicken pox in the pre-colonial days, those cairns were actually spots were its victims were interred with all their belongings, the atmospheric pulse emanating from this jungle is so surreal that you would hear all sort of forest creatures and probably ghosts mumbling, crying, sneezing, laughing, Naturally it all collaborates to produce a sort of hullabalutic, barbaric and cacophonic Orchestra, of course when you are drunk and all by yourself in such an environment with such eerie composition emerging from your backyard you might just have to get yourself scared willingly just to make an excuse for yourself that you really do not have to be there, so that was why I headed back to town on foot to a bukateria I use at those desperate times that call for desperate measures.
The canteen was located by the town’s most popular road’s side, it was almost a quarter mile from my hostel, I had decided not to call a bike, walking detoxifies my system but I was out of breath by the time I arrived, the place was dark. I entered and felt spacey. There were others in there who had accustomed to the darkness as I heard voices and the shuffling of feet supposedly coming from the inner room, I was still standing at the entrance not daring to move forward when a girl came in from the inner room bearing a lighted candle stuck on a milk tin, as it was a big room the candle barely illuminated half of it, she placed the candle on top of a table where some five guys whom I didn’t recognize were sitting around and in between of their meal, I presumed the other seats where the light couldn’t reach to be empty but I sat with the guys, they all, including the waiting girl hadn’t noticed me until I moved to take a seat, because I noticed some sort of surprise on their face and someone almost screamed, I just sat and ignored their feelings, they resumed their occupation, then the girl approached me, welcomed me and explained that their Generator had just developed a fault but was being repaired as we talked, I nodded my understanding and stated my order immediately, she went away to get it.
When my order was brought and I commenced eating it voraciously, I started to hear some noise that weren’t there before or that which my brain had chose to shut out because of its lack of food, it was an argument and the sound of tools coming from the inner room, it sounded like a woman was trying to fix the gen set but another woman was bossing her around................................ to be continued

i for say i no get time but my rolex reminds me

There was a story a “man of god” once told his congregation which I happen to be among, he was on his pulpit sermonizing, cajoling and admonishing, he had to consult, narrate from, and refer to his personal wealth of experience and biography all along as usual, that day he began from when he was a mischievous lanky boy and had a bad tempered black hen that always lay two dozen eggs, hatch it, and suspiciously brought the chicks up to age and number, she would never allow anyone near her chicks, she would always spread her wings provocatively threatening anyone trespassing on her sensory perimeter of mothering security, this hen is said to be infamous all around the commune, she was nicknamed harridan, but then there was a notorious eagle that had appeared and taken up residence near his family compound just before harridan began brooding that period, this eagle would stay on and fly around peoples roof all day and might sometimes venture into people’s barn to steal eggs and food ingredients whenever their presence and attention was so lacking, this bird had ambushed a lot of hens and their brood, no matter how he and the others tried, no one had had the luck of arresting or killing it, so there had been this incident when the eagle had surprised harridan and the chicks, seized the fattest of the lot and flown, trying to get away, but harridan flew after the bird of prey instinctively with some vigor and caught up with it sooner, mounted it just before it could reach the roof where it would go perch and devour her baby, she started pecking it seriously on the back of its head, the eagle lost balance and it staggered, it opened its beak to scream surprise but it dropped the baby, it realized what had just happened and determine to challenge harridans effrontery and audacity, the other chicks had sought refuge under a broken water pot, shrieking all the time, as they crashed the eagle turned on its back to repel the offensive and initiate defense but it was too late, they were too near ground for its eagles strong wings to be so useful and effective, they landed and it broke its right wing, harridan was still on top of the situation while the young man of God and a sizable audience of neighbors were taking in everything from behind their low compound fence that clear afternoon, the birds began to duel, the delivered chick had joined its siblings under the clay pot unhurt but scared, the eagle gave a good fight trying to use the advantage of its giant size on the dwarf harridan but the latter has a very ugly temper, it never gave the prey bird time to recuperate from its downfall, or enough time for it to strategize as it stayed on its neck pecking it while the bird was desperately trying to claw harridan mortally and fly away, however it succeeded in drawing blood from harridans left eye, the eye was totally damaged but harridan would not relent, it tore out the eagles intestines probably by luck because it should have happened the other way round, as the eagle fought for dear life attempting to fly away harridan disengaged and retreated to where her chicks were hiding under the pot, the eagle could no longer fly as it had a broken wing and sheared off innings, it was incapacitated mortally, harridan had lost an eyeball in the battle, such a pyrrhic victory but the fight had gathered crowd, the eagle was flogged to death by the onlookers and its carcass was displayed on the roof to ward off any other bird that might try to invade the vicinity sooner or later, harridan was celebrated and awarded animal hero first class, she became an instant heroine, when it died after so many months her body was interred and not sold to the northerners that sold barbecue……………………………

Lasgidi conductors be like Buhari, ambode, everybody oya enter with ur CHANGE o!

living large like am OBESE