Being married myself and reading this shameful story, I’m not sure the OP is ready to be in a marriage. You just fell in love and thought the next logical step was to get married.
Firstly, as the man you own your home and everything that goes on in it is directly under your sphere of influence. A wise man should know that the only way to make a woman happy in her home is to make her feel loved and most important to make her feel like you want her there. This is always stated indirectly through your actions or inactions.
Op, the first mistake you made was to ignore the underlying issues between herself and your family. Granted, I’m one of the people who think a marriage can thrive even if the mans family don’t like the wife. This happens a lot and is one of the leading causes for divorce. If you were serious about marriage you should accepted this fact and protected your wife from undue communications with your family. Again, I do not believe your family members will have the effontory to insult your wife without your implied permission. And even if this happened “fighting” for your wife would make her know you weren’t in support of it.
The second mistake was to let someone into your home when the bond yourself and madam wasn’t too strong. If I may ask, did she give her consent to this decision? I’ll assume that as with any wise woman , she wouldn’t have. But you ignored her and went ahead to let your brother come in.
The third mistake you made was to let things get this bad. Basically your wife is now tired of the marriage because you’ve made her feel like you don’t want her to be a part of it. Try to think about things from her perspective for a bit.
It will take the grace of God for her to come back. But first you must sit down and reason where things went wrong and how to correct them/ prevent them in future. Your wife won’t be coming back until you allay her fears and even if you convince her to come back without solving these issues, it won’t last long.
Ask yourself these questions and what you have to do becomes obvious:
1. Are you ready to take your wife above any family member?
2. Are you ready to get serious about asking your brother to leave that house? Or at least getting another house without your brother in it?
3. Do you think your wife is cheating on you or has someone else she’s emotionally tied to?
lakesider: Only Bill that makes sense this year .. When will they make laws that require that you register your employee and their salary with the governmemt and that any work exceeding 10hrs per week requires employment contracts .
Anyone can draft such a bill and get a sponsor in the senate or house to present it.
I've decided to sell my iPad 3 as I now find its 16GB memory quite limiting.
No front scratches on the screen as it is covered with a screen protector. It's got small scratches on the back from a previous iPad case. Battery lasts as expected. This is a Wifi model only. Does not support SIM cards.
Contact: zero eight zero seven seven eight nine five four zero six
vani86: I manage and work in a private hospital in Anambra, when i first started, was very surprised at the number of people registered with NHIS that come to the hospital because we are participants in the programme.
i was really impressed that health insurance scheme is slowly kicking off in Nigeria and it works.
my biggest problem with NHIS is that
1) they will give you their own drug price list and medications, which is lower than what we charge everyday patients, not taking into account, fluctuations in drug price in the market.
2) Even though we adhere to their price list, most often than not, when their bill is sent to them, they will never pay the full amount.
The Chief medical director is considering pulling out of the scheme from next year, he don't really need them, merely joined cuz of the novelty in the programme.
Banks dont argue with the bills we send when their staffs come for surgeries and treatment, they pay straight up.
Valid points you raised. These are management issues anathemic to Govt managed initiatives across board.
Do you work with HMOs as well? I believe they also are under the NHiS framework.
360command: Nigeria is just a messed up place.. No good national health insurance scheme in nigeria.. The guy above me said something about private companies shud provide health insurance.. Look, as Nigerians we need a national health insurance scheme whether I work or not.. That is my right. ..
threadstohn: They're no hidden charges sir. The survey/allocation fee is N300k per plot Development levy is N250k Deed of Assignment fee is N50k
These fees are only applicable at the time of physical land allocation
Call or send us a message on whatsapp 08068677558 to request for prerequisite documents relating to this property sir. And also site inspection is free
When Doundou Chefou first took up arms as a youth a decade ago, it was for the same reason as many other ethnic Fulani herders along the Niger-Mali border: to protect his livestock.
He had nothing against the Republic of Niger, let alone the United States of America. His quarrel was with rival Tuareg cattle raiders.
Yet on Oct. 4 this year, he led dozens of militants allied to Islamic State in a deadly assault against allied U.S.-Niger forces, killing four soldiers from each nation and demonstrating how dangerous the West’s mission in the Sahel has become.
The incident sparked calls in Washington for public hearings into the presence of U.S. troops. A Pentagon probe is due to be completed in January.
“He is a terrorist, a bandit, someone who intends to harm to Niger,” he said at his office in the Nigerien capital Niamey earlier this month.
“We are tracking him, we are seeking him out, and if he ever sets foot in Niger again he will be neutralized.”
Like most gunmen in so-called Islamic State in the Greater Sahara, which operates along the sand-swept borderlands where Mali, Niger and Burkina Faso meet, Chefou used to be an ordinary Fulani pastoralist with little interest in jihad, several government sources with knowledge of the matter said.
The transition of Chefou and men like him from vigilantes protecting their cows to jihadists capable of carrying out complex attacks is a story Western powers would do well to heed, as their pursuit of violent extremism in West Africa becomes ever more enmeshed in long-standing ethnic and clan conflicts.
For now, analysts say the local IS affiliate remains small, at fewer than 80 fighters. But that was also the case at first with al Qaeda-linked factions before they tapped into local grievances to expand their influence in Mali in 2012.
The United Nations this week released a report showing how IS in northern Somalia has grown to around 200 fighters from just a few dozen last year.
The U.S. military has ramped up its presence in Niger, and other neighboring countries, in recent years as it fears poverty, corruption and weak states mean the region is ripe for the spread of extremist groups.
GENESIS OF A JIHAD
For centuries the Tuareg and Fulani have lived as nomads herding animals and trading - Tuareg mostly across the dunes and oases of the Sahara and the Fulani mostly in the Sahel, a vast band of semi-arid scrubland that stretches from Senegal to Sudan beneath it.
Some have managed to become relatively wealthy, accumulating vast herds. But they have always stayed separate from the modern nation-states that have formed around them.
Though they largely lived peacefully side-by-side, arguments occasionally flared, usually over scarce watering points. A steady increase in the availability of automatic weapons over the years has made the rivalry ever more deadly.
A turning point was the Western-backed ouster of Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi in 2011. With his demise, many Tuareg from the region who had fought as mercenaries for Gaddafi returned home, bringing with them the contents of Libya’s looted armories.
Some of the returnees launched a rebellion in Mali to try to create a breakaway Tuareg state in the desert north, a movement that was soon hijacked by al Qaeda-linked jihadists who had been operating in Mali for years.
Until then, Islamists in Mali had been recruiting and raising funds through kidnapping. In 2012, they swept across northern Mali, seizing key towns and prompting a French intervention that pushed them back in 2013.
Amid the violence and chaos, some of the Tuareg turned their guns on their rivals from other ethnic groups like the Fulani, who then went to the Islamists for arms and training.
In November 2013, a young Nigerien Fulani had a row with a Tuareg chief over money. The old man thrashed him and chased him away, recalls Boubacar Diallo, head of an association for Fulani livestock breeders along the Mali border, who now lives in Niamey.
The youth came back armed with an AK-47, killed the chief and wounded his wife, then fled. The victim happened to be the uncle of a powerful Malian warlord.
Boubacar Diallo, president of the livestock breeders association of north Tillaberi on the Mali border, goes through a list of over 300 Fulani herders killed by Tuareg raiders in the lawless region, during an interview with Reuters in Niamey, Niger October 31, 2017. Picture taken October 31, 2017. REUTERS/Tim Cocks Over the next week, heavily armed Tuareg slaughtered 46 Fulani in revenge attacks along the Mali-Niger border.
The incident was bloodiest attack on record in the area, said Diallo, who has documented dozens of attacks by Tuareg raiders that have killed hundreds of people and led to thousands of cows and hundreds of camels being stolen.
“That was a point when the Fulani in that area realized they needed more weapons to defend themselves,” said Diallo, who has represented them in talks aimed at easing communal tensions.
The crimes were almost never investigated by police, admits a Niamey-based law enforcement official with knowledge of them.
“The Tuareg were armed and were pillaging the Fulani’s cattle,” Niger Interior Minister Mohamed Bazoum told Reuters. “The Fulani felt obliged to arm themselves.”
“SELF-DEFENSE”
Gandou Zakaria, a researcher of mixed Tuareg-Fulani heritage in the faculty of law at Niamey University, has spent years studying why youths turned to jihad.
Niger Defence Minister Kalla Mountari poses for a portrait at his office after an interview with Reuters, in Niamey, Niger November 1, 2017. Picture taken November 1, 2017. REUTERS/Tim Cocks “Religious belief was at the bottom of their list of concerns,” he told Reuters. Instead, local grievances were the main driving force.
Whereas Tuareg in Mali and Niger have dreamed of and sometimes fought for an independent state, Fulani have generally been more pre-occupied by concerns over the security of their community and the herds they depend on.
“For the Fulani, it was a sense of injustice, of exclusion, of discrimination, and a need for self-defense,” Zakaria said.
One militant who proved particularly good at tapping into this dissatisfaction was Adnan Abu Walid al-Sahrawi, an Arabic-speaking north African, several law enforcement sources said.
Al-Sahrawi recruited dozens of Fulani into the Movement for Unity and Jihad in West Africa (MUJWA), which was loosely allied to al Qaeda in the region and controlled Gao and the area to the Niger border in 2012.
After French forces in 2013 scattered Islamists from the Malian towns they controlled, al-Sahrawi was briefly allied with Mokhtar Belmokhtar, an al Qaeda veteran.
Today, al-Sahrawi is the face of Islamic State in the region.
“There was something in his discourse that spoke to the youth, that appealed to their sense of injustice,” a Niger government official said of al-Sahrawi.
Two diplomatic sources said there are signs al-Sahrawi has received financial backing from IS central in Iraq and Syria.
How Chefou ended up being one of a handful of al-Sahrawi’s lieutenants is unclear. The government source said he was brought to him by a senior officer, also Fulani, known as Petit Chapori.
Like many Fulani youth toughened by life on the Sahel, Chefou was often in and out of jail for possession of weapons or involvement in localized violence that ended in deals struck between communities, the government official said.
Yet Diallo, who met Chefou several times, said he was “very calm, very gentle. I was surprised when he became a militia leader”.
U.S. and Nigerien sources differ on the nature of the fatal mission of Oct 4. Nigeriens say it was to go after Chefou; U.S. officials say it was reconnaissance mission.
One vehicle lost by the U.S. forces was supplied by the CIA and kitted with surveillance equipment, U.S. media reported. A surveillance drone monitored the battle with a live feed.
The Fulani men, mounted on motorbikes, were armed with the assault rifles they first acquired to look after their cows.
Without prejudice it’s clear the Fulani will always arm themselves as a means of self defense against cattle rustlers, giving them an unfair advantage over a typical farmer should conflict between them arise.
Is this not a valid reason for every state to implement an anti-open grazing law?
At what point does the collective good of Nigeria and it’s citizens outweigh the chosen “way of life of a select few Fulani herdsmen”?
Governors and lawmakers around the country must do the needful.
fatymore: Seriously the demolition is too much but at the end of the day it would benefit all.. But one thing is still baffling me. The shops demolished at oshodi beside the bridge.. Thought he said it was brt park but it looks like a complex.. Hope it won't be lease out at the end of the day for them at exorbitant price
He is building a brt terminal not really a park. 3 multi story terminals are being built at oshodi. 1 for interstate movement and the other 2 for travel within the state.
msld: The reason you are not supposed to be a lawyer. "It would have been announced publicly" really?? I feel sad for your clients. The onus is not on the defence now, is on the prosecutor FG that invaded his house to prove that he is not in their custody but the facts speaks for itself and the fact is this, they invaded his house, they now must provide information on where he is.
Interesting argument on both sides.
While I agree that the Army’s invasion didn’t help, the onus does not shift automatically to the prosecuting team. The defense team must prove beyond reasonable doubt with evidence that (1) Kanu was present in that location when the Army invaded and (2) that the Army has possession of Kanu at the moment.
To the best of my knowledge the Army is yet to acknowledge they have him. They only mentioned searching his home sometime this week which is several days after the fracas preceding Kanus disappearance. The Judge would be wrong to absolve the sureties based on unproven conjectures, hence responsible for producing Kanu will continue to remain with the sureties.
Technology Market › Re: Xmas Deal: Used Apple Ipad 3 wifi only - 16GB for sale by Iolo(op): 4:52pm On Dec 23, 2017
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