₦airaland Forum

derecho:
Na wa for you o.. That statement has bagged him misogynist sharp sharp.Una go just they use strong words like say na una invent am.
Your type would not hesitate to accuse him of misandry if a female says a man can't birth and breastfeed a baby.

What is wrong in trying to make him see why the bench isn't an exclusive preserve of men.That way everyone will learn.

if God didn't want women to work and be successful,he won't create then with hands.he Will only provide hands and legs for the men but statements like his irritates me.meanwhile if a girl is lazy and entitled,una go still tag am say she no wan work.now to see a woman working and becoming a success out of it is giving people like him sleepless nights

Kingcalls:
Simpist

e pain am say women dey work

Kingcalls:
Women were created by God to take care of the home...its in their DNA ...women are just forcing themselves to be what they naturally are not capable of being ...u cant cheat nature

misogynist
I'm sure it drives you crazy to see women doing well at work

You can as well tell your daughter not to work because she's a female as if working is gender specific

tutudesz:
Yes O! So many people were using BRT because of one chance

this is not even a question of NiGeria.its Nigerians that make up nigeria not aliens or Japanese and it's high time Nigerians stop being an enemy to each other because at the end nobody wins.people avoid regular commercial busses because they want security, speed and ease of transportation and the next thing is for fellow Nigerians to start capitalising on it to make life more difficult and unsafe for your fellow nigerian.like what the hell.why don't people think deeply.now the genuine BRT drivers Will suffer for it because nobody knows WHO is genuine and who is a criminal

tutudesz:
BRT

people will start avoiding BRT buses now especially women

COOL10:
Women are sexually attracted to bad boys and narcissists are known for their bad boy/ self serving characteristics. But don't forget that narcissists can be very friendly in public. They love to keep a saintly reputation. Only their employees or close relatives know how terrible they are.

From my experience, more women fit this dynamic than men as they are the true narcissists. The only thing is that society has accepted female behaviour as normal but judging from all the things I've learnt about narcissism over the years, women are pretty narcissistic

I agree.they tend to have obsessive controlling disorder.it shows in the way they treat their househelps and people lower than them.

ViktorCash:
Plenty skulls to be mined

food don set for Fulani herds men and Muslim murderers

COOL10:
The funny thing is his supporters aka flying monkeys don't know all the evil things he says behind their backs. If only they knew. Yet he managed to convince them that I'm some sort of arrogant prick who doesn't respect his elders.


I'm more of an introvert, so I don't talk much but my mere presence alone intimidated him. It's almost like he sensed something in me that wasn't in other people that he could control. Darkness hates Light. He felt threatened.

I don't feel narcissists get as much punishment as they deserve. These people need to receive as much evil as they dish out.

funny thing is I don't know or what they say and do but narcissist are always lucky to find a good woman or man who can love them.na them dey get better wife or husband who happens to be an empath and with good character and Even dedicated and committed surbodinates but Na them go still use their character pursue them comot except the partner has no choice on how to exit the marriage

badboyTee:
while I was learning barbing then my Oga wife was expecting me to help her wash her child yansh after she shit finish.

I just told her I can't and she was like I would slap you.

All because I look gentle she thinks she can use it to ride me I change it for her too everybody shock that day say this guy fit pull that stunt since that day she dares not approach me for rubbish though we were later on good terms.

Moral : you need to let your anger out sometimes not to seem like a fool

lol that's disrespectful and thank God you set healthy boundaries to protect yourself.which one be say make you dey wash pikin Yash when you no talk say you wan be househelp.im happy you stood your ground if not the next thing she will tell you is to wash her daughter's clothes,pants etc

COOL10:
Bro, I'm still recovering from my own narcissistic abuse. I had constant mild panic attacks before going to work. My self esteem was greatly reduced. I had to leave before I run mad.

At least your colleagues saw him for what he is but they were still asslickers. My ex colleagues were so gullible that he managed to convince them that I was the bad guy. I was super nice to this man.

Narcissists get their happiness by causing other people pain but they make it look like you're the evil one. They are empty vessels.

true.i understand where you're coming from.i had this experience too

If anyone shouts around me I hear his voice as if he's the one shouting.honestly being with a narcissist either as a boss or partner is one of the worst experience ever Because everyone will think he's the nice guy and it's you who complains too much or has the issue because they know how to pretend outside and act sweet but inside they are demonic.its traumatic being with such people.you loose yourself everyday, value, purpose and potentials.infact youre being killed without a gun

Farfalla:
Actually she joined the organisation as a replacement. I had interacted with her before in other circles but I never picked up on her sadistic tendencies. Maybe I wasn't so keen either.

So, what's your plan after the resignation?

I wan go another place o.i need my sanity and peace of mind.all this tolerating covert aggression, harassment and intrusive behaviour don Taya me abeg.everyone deserves some level of peace and respect.thanks ma

Nuttella:
There is no way I will take this from any human being on earth, I resigned after one month.

hmnnn life happens to people in different ways and that's why Yorubas say a prayer that God should not allow our source of income or feeding be from a difficult and uncomfortable place

COOL10:
Trust me, the best thing you can do is to leave that place. Narcissists are masters of self projection and they love to feel like they are the victims. You would be wise to expect your boss to go on a smear campaign against you. It must have even started already.

Narcissists are demonic entities. Stay away from them if you can.

what surprises me is that he's so religious.he leads devotions before any meeting or official work.even at meetings Na him dey dominate conversations sef.he thinks he knows it all while everyone else doesn't know shiii

COOL10:
Trust me, the best thing you can do is to leave that place. Narcissists are masters of self projection and they love to feel like they are the victims. You would be wise to expect your boss to go on a smear campaign against you. It must have even started already.

Narcissists are demonic entities. Stay away from them if you can.

what surprises me is that he's so religious.he leads devotions before any meeting or official work.even at meetings Na him dey dominate conversations sef

Nuttella:
Before I resigned I made sure I gave her a piece of my mind, their ain't no way I will resign without telling her how she is.

I'm happy you did.i also notice narc's have an uncontrollable hunger for attention and spotlight.they don't like any employee outshining them even when they know the employee is good at his job.they must just find one unpleasant thing to say that'll dampen his spirit, enthusiasm and make him depressed.

I noticed that i was depressed at the early stages of being employed because he always wanted things done his way or no other way,goes through my WhatsApp status and start telling me what to post and not to post on WhatsApp.when I discussed with my colleague,they said I should block him so I had to.i remember when he embarrassed one of my female colleagues during a meeting for wearing stud earring on her nose.the outburst and lambasting was too much so after the meeting I had to Tell her to kneel down and beg him so he go comot eye for your matter.


Meanwhile sometimes I wonder if he can treat his employees like this,how will he now be treating his wife and kids at home.i forgot to even mention that he claims to be a pastor

Once he gets to office,he go carry symbal begin to use am sing

Raze001:
I am presently on a case similar to yours.

I wish you a successful, tension and drama free Process in your resignation sir

sinator:
Op this is the correct answer. Narcissists hate Lossing control. They can even go as far as killing the person rather than loosing control

lmaooo haba !

Kill say you no wan work for them again? When no be say we swear oath

Farfalla:
She was a case study that one.
One colleague described her as demon-possessed. I didn't rule out that possibility.


This is the exact thing I told my papa. They paid really well and offered excellent benefits but at what price? Constant heart palpitations?


That shouldn't be a problem.

Jezebel found Ahab, Delilah found Samson and Angelina Jolie found Brad Pitt. She will definitely be somebody's pick. The odds are in her favour. A good 80% of men will pick her damaged self to try and fix her.

lmaooo for them to attach a juicy salary to the job it means they knew she was a psychopath and only few people can tolerate her excesses

biotechshola:
There's always element of hatred and bitterness whenever you guys comments about Muslims...why are you so pained?

because Islam has a penchant for unnecessary violence and like causing chaos everywhere They go

Babaheekmat:
ISIS ARE NOT MUSLIMS



THEY'RE KHAWARIJ!!!


JUST LIKE BOKO HARAM

what's the difference between Dodo and boli? Are they not from the same family?

Or what's the difference between pounded yam and yam porridge?

Islam and Their obsession for violence SHA

funmise007:
you are right he lacks empathy and he only cares about his job.am only still working with em because avnt secure another yet and probably other good pple there that shows me love and called me the other day.i remember the day he insulted me for comming late.and I did that on purpose because he owes me.and with all em gra gra he no fit vex pay me immediately.make God just help us for this country pple are enduring alot of useless job Nd bosses.naa why if Nigerians travel dem no dey wan gree come back..well am just sure wen I leave he will feel my vacuum space..and I don't give a shit his bad mouth I would av moved on isha allahu.and he can go fuk em self and his job and gragra empty promises and fumbles.useless bosses using yur head thinking dey are wise but foolish

they are only taking advantage of the unemployment situation in nigeria and the fact that there are no employee protection policies and agencies

wealthtrak:
Okay, first off, next time, it would
be adviceable for you to give at
least two months notice to your
employer stating that you want
to leave your place of work to
pursue other things or for health
reasons. As an employer myself,
I know that this could be a major
reason why a boss could get upset if the resignation is sudden. The
bosses/HR require this prior notice so that company duties are not
disrupted.


Try to maintain a final exit that
is less filled with tension. It's a small
world and you and your former
employer might need each other's
assistance in the near future.


Forgive him for talking harshly
to your and be the bigger man.
Some employers do not have
emotional intelligence skills for
dealing with their staff and the larger society.

Cheers.

thanks my brother

Farfalla:
@ irunoko,

Your boss just can't believe that someone can walk out on him. Narcissists are a self-deluded set of people who believe people need them, but not vice versa. They tend to have the same tendencies in relationships.

I had one narcissistic boss like that who made it difficult for staff members to even breath. She was deployed to our country office and in her bid to show staff members that there was a new sheriff in town, she went on a bullying spree. Yelling was her modus communicandi. She was extremely unpleasant to everyone and got easily triggered by the slightest of things. She tormented everyone, from the driver, to the cleaner, to the Admin Assistant, and to the staff who worked directly under her supervision (where I belonged).

I knew she'd lost it when she not only instructed the Admin Assistant to stand while talking to her, she demanded that her posture should be upright while at it. You know the famous military posture? The famous "chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in"? That's how much of a nutcase she was. Those who tried arse-licking her got exhausted eventually. She was sent from hell to steal, kill and destroy people's peace of mind.

Miss M.O. (her initials) would also resort to passive aggression whenever she couldn't bully you into doing military posture. For instance, she would nominate your name for a training or field activity that would involve taking a trip to countries where some of our partners were based, and 5 days later she'd "change her mind" and nominate some other staff member. She'd do this just to make you prepare for it, envision yourself in Mauritius or the UAE, envision what gifts you'll return with from the trip for your spouse, your children, your parents, siblings, friends, etc, then poof! She'd dash your blueprint. There was a way she'd fold her mouth and lips while giving you unpleasant news. Something akin to an exaggerated duck pout. She'd utilise that pout at such moments. Very sadistic somebody.

To cut the long story short, I recall having a that's it moment and later that day I informed her that I'd be sending my official notice to HR. When the devil's mistress received my official resignation letter, she went mute. I had been such an enthusiastic performer, she felt I needed my job more than the organisation needed me. Of course she demanded to know why I was resigning and I told her that I was moving on to do private business. I stated that I had given my best to people and I felt it's time to explore what I can do for myself.

Within that last month I took up a 2-week field project to get away from the lunatic. I turned down the idea of a farewell party (I generally hate parties) but we just had a last official meeting of some sort where I thanked everyone for their support and wished them well in their endeavours.

The only downside to my resignation was that my papa was disappointed. The way he's held my hand through this journey of life, I usually feel somehow about the prospects of disappointing him. He's a very practical and resilient person, and he never quite understood why anyone would walk out of a very stable source of income for the simple reason that the boss has got satanic tendencies. (Never mind, he himself takes nobody's crap... ) He came around though and supports what I'm currently doing.

Nobody should ever apologise for pursuing their peace of mind.

my sister I'm so happy that you womaned up to put an end to such level of disrespect and bs.that level of narcissism you described is extreme and almost bordering on sociopathic tendencies.shes obviously not a happy woman and she is clearly damaged with the description you gave.unfortunately she sees you as an easy target because she knows your salary is in her hands

At some point you have to choose peace and protect your sanity from toxic people.no amount of salary can replace peace of mind abeg.i mean what's the essence of going to a place where a psychopath Will be triggering you and pushing your limits.moreso with such character,I hope she is able to see someone who will love her

anzaku47:
Hope you are not my colleague right?
Why are we facing same challenges.
May God see us through in this private firm Sha. I am damn tired.

lol please ma/sir start searching for better options make he no begin think say without him you can't feed or survive

Evolutionlove:
Nigeria Is a Toxic Environment filled with Sadistic Humans. So all these na Just story.....

nigeria situation is not a justifiable reason to treat people badly, disrespect people's feelings and show no empathy afterall everyone is feeling Nigeria's heat one way or another

josite:
Resign in accordance with your employment contract and go your way.wgen he was feeding you he wasn't a narcissist.

he was.i was only tolerating him.then point of correction,he wasn't feeding me,HE PAID ME FOR THE SERVICES I RENDERED TO HIS COMPANY SO IT'S AN EARNED ALLOWANCE abeg

hermesprogidy:
I once resigned and didn't bother telling my narcissistic boss. She went ballistic lol.... That was my payback to her for being a royal bitch.

I'm glad you took the best decision

oluseyiforjesus:
Who is narcissist

check the dictionary

drmuri:
This happened to me before.
They are angry because you deprive them of seeing you hurt.
They will prefer to have you fired, nit waiting for that to happen saddens them

thank God my promotion is not in his hands and is in God's hands.im sure he must have been waiting for moment of promotion to get at me but God showed him who is God.i remember when it was time for promotion after a lady served him for 3 years,he wrote on her paper "not qualified for promotion" meanwhile this is a girl that when you did birthday she celebrated you,she spent her money to prepare jollof Rice and share to everyone.that was when I knew this man doesn't love anybody.that girl was so hurt that she cried

Klass99:
@ Irunoko, you for give us the details na.

The bad-mouthing some bosses do when you resign no be here o. I resigned from a job one time like that, giving my boss heads-up before going to HR to make it formal.

I worked out my notice period and bounced. A day after I left, I received a credit alert of 200k from my boss, followed by a WhatsApp chat from this same person, thanking me for my time, service and contribution to him/the firm.

I was shocked because none of it was expected, as a matter of fact he was a major reason why I quit that job. People don't leave good jobs, they mostly walk away from bad bosses, but I digress.

I informed one of my closest and trusted colleagues about what this boss did and even showed her the chat he sent me. She was shocked but thanked/appreciated him on my behalf.

Two weeks later, boss started telling people that I wasn't performing so he fired me. You fired someone for non-perfomance but wired 200k of your personal money to them with a thank you text? He waited for me to exit the company before starting his smear campaign, because he knows I would have countered him hands down.

Fortunately, the colleague I shared the news with was the one defending me and setting the record straight with people he was lying to. If I mention the company's name (but I won't) people who know this guy/CEO may be shocked and even deny it. My former colleagues who know the story, may see this post and know it is me.

Another CEO found out where a staff was moving to from his company, he wrote the CEO of the new company saying nasty and unkind things about his former staff and that person lost the job based on his lies.

When I say some CEOs are badly behaved jerks, don't argue with me, I have worked closely with some. HR Professionals in the house, please be cautious about the sort of references you receive, employers bad-mouth candidates too.

lol interestingly my boss asked me where I was going,where I will be living etc.i no answer am.i just left.someone like that is too vindictive and petty minded for me to give such information to

Erniemax101:
It is called narcissist rage, they hate it when they loose the ability to control you. I have noticed that most Nigerians don’t know about narcissists and how they can mess up your self confidence and mental health

so true.with a narcissist you can't think,you continually walk on eggshells,you cannot be yourself,they hate when you are happy or self confident, they thrive Better when they can dominate everybody and make them loose their voice.how Can you ever be your best in such environment? Meanwhile the shocking part is that before we do meeting he must pray or choose someone to pray or read the Bible but his actions don't show any form of Christ likeness

wealthtrak:
Okay, did you give him sufficient
notice before resigning?

He needs time to replace you, but that is no reason to manipulate any employee who wants to leave.

I intentionally didn't tell him at the beginning of the meeting.i needed to tell him privately because I didn't want him to create a scene or drama in the presence of anybody because I said I was leaving hence the time I told him