₦airaland Forum

podosci:
The truth of the matter is God existence cannot be proved by the absobity exhibited by the religions of this world through the nuisance written in both the Bible or the Quran or the thousands of religion spread across the world. Religion demonizes God with it doctrines

Pls I don't understand this thinking? How did the amazing universe and the intricate beauty of man came about?

Hello op!
Been reading thru the thread..funny arguments tho...

For those disturbing my misssclassy be careful.....easy miss...ur fire is fearsome

Back to the op. I can't judge that you should marry or not. There is no rule about what you choose.
The only thing thing I know is that those who were single in the bible were either eunuchs or had a reason or let's say purpose: i.e to focus on using their lives to serve God and bring more people to his fold.

Every man must have a goal or pursuit that brings him satisfaction (that is the secret/essence of life & happiness) So if u have one aside marriage, fine and good.

Well since I cant advice you let me tell you 10 reasons why I may consider marriage, maybe wld suit or not suit you.

1) Giving life to someone brings joy.
2) Knowing that my sacrifice, my daily struggle is making someone happy brings satisfaction
3) if I made all the money & ate it alone I won't be happy. I can spend on orphanage and any other body, but I don't think these latter people wld appreciate it the way my family would. There is this real & inner satisfaction even when unexpressed that family gives in return because of the love and care u have given them.
4) Life is made of stages. when I mean stages, ur friends would all leave u to form their lives. family might be all the real friend you can have. Sure someone would say u can find friends at different ages. But how easy is that? Even if u do find how easy is it to find people of different ages, and stages who deeply understand each other's past and experiences.
5) Our environment is not yet conducive enough to tolerate single old people. No one feels good neglected by the community.
6)Family is for matured minds who have to manage people. Nothing feels better like been the boss. *winks*
7) With careful selection of mate loneliness can be reduced as compared with singleness.
Old age can be a trying time. Only family could be ur best source of support.
9) Children are a gift and blessing for the present and in the future. They make us happy.
10) It is not good for the man to continue alone says the Holy Book

Singleness is good. If you can make room for it. Good, esp if u have what would bring u satisfaction apart from a mate.

Family is full of thorns, but in the hand of a skilled gardener a large garden of roses can grow.

misssclassy:
[color=#000050]Well, there are a lot of factors to put into consideration as regards this issue of reading to understand.

First of all one has to decide to want to read. You can't do anything well if you are forced to do that thing or you feel that thing is something you 'must' do, so you just have to do it.
It's the same way with reading. You first of all have to develop the desire to read. The desire to get the knowledge that the particular book or course you want to read is offering.
The truth is if you don't desire to read, you will never understand as you supposed to.

Another thing one should take into consideration is the environment you want to read in.
Some people like to read in quite environments, some like to read in noisy environments. Some like to read while listening to soft or loud music. Some like to read while munching a snack, or biscuit or sipping from their favorite drinks.
Some like to read with a friend and have chit chats in between the reading exercise.
As for me, I can only understand in a quite environment. One where I am alone and there is no noise.
I also like to walking around while I am memorizing(craming). It helps me grasp it faster.
I am someone who thinks on her feet, so when I am memorizing a passage of a book, I prefer to walk around.

I also like to jot down as I write. Before I read a course, I get a 60/80 leaves exercise book and I draw a thin like down the middle of each page.
So as I read each topic, I jot down some important points.
I have come to the realization that whenever I jot down anything while reading, I hardly forget.
In school, the lecturers normally gave us materials, both in soft and hard copy.
So when I am done jotting down those important points in this materials, the next time I read that subject or topic, I just go through what I have jotted down.

I also try to understand the ways lecturers set their questions. Some lecturers always follow a certain pattern when setting their exam and test questions.
Even in some courses, despite the lecturer handling that course, the method of setting the questions is always the same.
So if you know how these exam question are asked, you would know the pattern you would use in reading.
Some students just ignorantly read everything and they don't pay cognizance to some center key areas where the bulk of these questions are asked from.

Past questions are also important and surprisingly, they are always available.
When I get these past questions, I always use them as a guide as to how to read.
When I am done reading a course, I test myself with these past question to see if I have really covered the scheme and if I truly understand the course and to ascertain how ready I am for the exam.

Group reading is also essential. Is good to always have a group of friends you discuss a course with. It's not necessary you do it with them everyday but you pick a particular time maybe twice a week to read and discuss together.
One thing I have noticed is whatever I discuss any topic with my friends, I never forget it and I also understand it better.

Finally, one thing about this courses is that they are very volatile. So I always try to make sure at every point in time, I able to remember everything I have read.
The way I do this is that I get an exercise book, and from time to time, I try to replicate what I have read and memorized on the book. The more I do that, the more I tend not to forget what I read.

The time one reads is also important. In school, majority of students always read at night. In Uniben it's called Night class. One thing I noticed is that not everyone actually likes or knows how to read night but because their friends read at night, they decide to tag along.
I noticed that my brain is normally alert during the evenings and early in the morning.
So, I always read from 5- 7 in the morning and after classes in the evening all the way till 11-12pm.
Once it's 1am in the morning, my brain stops assimilating so at that time, I just go to my hostel and sleep.

I always read in classes or at the library. And it's not just any class. The way the class is lighted also affects the way I read and understand. I prefer classes that are well lighted.
I also like chewing gum when I read. It also helps me grasp faster, and I don't fall asleep easily.
And when I sit in the class, I always sit at the extreme of the chairs. If I sit in the middle, I just feel uncomfortable.

I also commit what I read into God's hand. He is the one that blessed me with the brain so I always ask Him to help me understand better.[/color]

Damn! Lady, where are you from? I think I like you. I think I would love to talk to you sometime in the future, but not now.

You are incredible! Great advice! Take a glass!

The way I see it, the op is pained by his actions but he is not convinced that it is moral wrong or not. He doesn't even see it as bad.

I can raise that conclusion from the fact that you have pulled down the controversial dp that everyone is complaining about (I didn't see the dp but I want to think it is not supporting ur desire to end the bad habit).

In addition to your fence sitting on the subject of masturbation & ur inability to control it, ur habit has been heightened by the environment you are in or have created for ur self.

How can this analysis of ur person help in finding a suitable solution to ur problem?

First of all I second entirely misssclassy's point as very important. Take ur time to consider the points as the would help in ur fight if u r sure u r ready for the battle.

misssclassy:
[color=#000050]First of all, you have to decide deep within you that you want to stop. The truth is, the human mind can't do what we don't assure it to do.
So, you have to make a decision to stop.

Secondly, find something to engage yourself with. Such thoughts come because your mind is idle. So, find something to keep your mind busy. Perhaps a hobby or something , recreational activity, or vocation.

Thirdly, stop being alone. Try being around people. It helps. Try staying with friends, or family members. It's when you are alone that those thoughts will come.
Even when you want to watch those "sexy" movies, try watching them with someone. If you are the type that doesn't like watching movies with some other person, then try watching it around others. Just make sure you aren't alone.

Fourthly, always stay away from things that might propel you to self-service. If you watch porn, please stay away from it for know. In fact, try staying away from any form of explicit material. Be it pictures/ videos on your phone, magazines, websites...etc.

Finally, just try to develop self control. Whenever the thought of self servicing comes to mind, tell yourself that you are better than this, that you are stronger. Wade of the thought. Control yourself.
If the thought becomes persistent move to where people are or try doing something, maybe a house chore, a hobby or get something to eat or try talking with someone, either in person or on the phone.

If you can withstand the urge the first time, you would be able to do it the second time, and before you know it you would fully be able to control yourself in the face of those thoughts and urges.

Stay safe![/color]

Now you need to understand masturbation for what it is. It is not a direct sin because there is no way in the Bible that speaks against it. However, you have to understand that if you are the type that wants to be morally clean or serve God masturbations can make it impossible for you to avoid immoral temptation to sin.

Secondly, you need to realise that it is that guilt you feel inside of you that you want to stop. For does who want to be morally clean guilt is a good thing because it tells you are not doing the right thing and it is not good for you kind of person. But for those who don't care they don't feel any guilt & the have killed their conscience and are willing to do any disgusting thing (I know u r not that type)

Third you also realise that masturbation has affected a lot of things in ur life. Just be realistic. There are some things you want to achieve but you are so weak to do them. Even dreams, businesses, projects etc that would change your life but you are so weak to achieve some of them. The truth when you do not learn to control urself esp. with masturbation other aspects of ur live suffers because it is the same strenght you need to achieve worthy goals.

Also, on the subject of environment. I cannot say u should change ur friends automatically but this advice works better: think of ur environment. Anything you allow it ur life comes from you. If you hate something, if dirty talks, if dirty movies, if dirty company irritates you...with time you would realise that bad friends would start leaving you slowly or even giving you space (even if the talk about dirty things and you just laugh or nod ur head) because they would realise that this guy is not in the same frequency as us. And before you know good people or company would start coming around you.

And last but not the least. You don't want prayer as a solution but let just point at something - frankly, you can pray for 30 years or more and ur masturbation may never heal but I bet you it is essential for the fight. Even if you fail many many times or even years don't fail to pray each time you fail because it is that HIS spirit that is bringing you back gradually from ur chains. Trust me it helps.


I don't write long comments like this often but I just hope I have been able to help someone if not you.

The way I see it, the op is pained by his actions but he is not convinced that it is moral wrong or not. He doesn't even see it as bad.

I can raise that conclusion that you have pulled down the dp that everyone is complaining about (I didn't see the dp but I want to think it is not supporting ur desire to end the bad habit).

In addition to your fence sitting on the subject of masturbation & ur inability to control has been heightened by the environment you are in or have created for ur self.

How can this analysis of ur person help in finding a suitable solution to ur problem?

First of all I second entirely misssclassy's point as important. Take ur time to consider as the would help in ur fight if u r sure u r ready for the battle.

misssclassy:
[color=#000050]First of all, you have to decide deep within you that you want to stop. The truth is, the human mind can't do what we don't assure it to do.
So, you have to make a decision to stop.

Secondly, find something to engage yourself with. Such thoughts come because your mind is idle. So, find something to keep your mind busy. Perhaps a hobby or something , recreational activity, or vocation.

Thirdly, stop being alone. Try being around people. It helps. Try staying with friends, or family members. It's when you are alone that those thoughts will come.
Even when you want to watch those "sexy" movies, try watching them with someone. If you are the type that doesn't like watching movies with some other person, then try watching it around others. Just make sure you aren't alone.

Fourthly, always stay away from things that might propel you to self-service. If you watch porn, please stay away from it for know. In fact, try staying away from any form of explicit material. Be it pictures/ videos on your phone, magazines, websites...etc.

Finally, just try to develop self control. Whenever the thought of self servicing comes to mind, tell yourself that you are better than this, that you are stronger. Wade of the thought. Control yourself.
If the thought becomes persistent move to where people are or try doing something, maybe a house chore, a hobby or get something to eat or try talking with someone, either in person or on the phone.

If you can withstand the urge the first time, you would be able to do it the second time, and before you know it you would fully be able to control yourself in the face of those thoughts and urges.

Stay safe![/color]

Now you need to understand masturbation for what it is. It is not a direct sin because there is no way in the Bible that speaks against it. However, you have to understand that if you are the type that wants to be morally clean or serve God masturbations can make it impossible for you to avoid immoral temptation to sin.

Secondly, you need to realise that it is that guilt you feel inside of you that you want to stop. For does who want to be morally clean guilt is a good thing because it tells you are not doing the right thing and it is not good for you kind of person. But for those who don't care they don't feel any guilt & the have killed their conscience and are willing to do any disgusting thing (I know u r not that type)

Third you also realise that masturbation has affected a lot of things in ur life. Just be realistic. There are some things you want to achieve but you are so weak to do them. Even dreams, businesses, projects etc that would change your life but you are so weak to achieve some of them. The truth when you do not learn to control urself esp. with masturbation other aspects of ur live suffers because it is the same strenght you need to achieve worthy goals.

Lastly on the subject of environment. I cannot say u should change ur friends automatically but this advice works better: think of ur environment. Anything you allow it ur life comes from you. If you hate something, if dirty talks, if dirty movies, if dirty company irritates you...with time you would realise that bad friends would start leaving you slowly or even giving you space (even if the talk about dirty things and you just laugh or nod ur head) because they would realise that this guy is not in the same frequency as us. And before you know good people or company would start coming around you.

I don't long comments like this often but I just hope I have been able to help someone if not you.

Why make sex a priority in marriage and even experimenting with toys? I don't have much words but I would say the little I got. A day is made of 24 hours and you want to ruin every single day of your lives with less than an hour pleasure. What happened to the 23hours? Is it that you cannot find other creative ways to have happiness in ur married life? Is it that you cannot find ways to find satisfaction with your kids, your lovely spouse without sex? When sex becomes a priority in your life, tell me what quality of time & quality of education do you ve for ur kids? There is more things that can give you true satisfaction in life than mere sex (God created sex as an auxiliary to family happiness not a primary factor or he would have written a whole book on it than any book by mankind).
Only the sight of someone you truly love can bring so much delight and pleasure.....if sex is what you both need and not the person involved then the sex has more value than your spouse. (Zoom to the street and get more..Fools)
On another note I know you going thru pains but you just brought that to yourself.... Shift your priority & get value for better things before you destroy ur marriage & blame sex...
Seriously, the world has lost its priority! smh...

treese:
Though he usually says he doesn't care about my self esteem but I don't think this has to do with self esteem alone. I think there is more. While we were dating we spoke about my sex life and body nature. It's not like I had too many relationships but I just knew men say my vaginal is kind of lax. Even wen I lost my virginity the guy called me a blunt liar to my face, saying I claimed to be a virgin when I wasn't.

You didn't bleed and getting in wasn't so hard. That is one ruined relationship that would have been awesome. And probably the last man standing. If you be virgin, you go know, if you not, you will know and I KNEW then that I was.

Now my husband knew this about my body and decides to stick with it. Somehow someway which I don't know after my first child, vaginal got tight, second child too same happened. To a certain extent it helped our sex life because it made him love it. And I could tell it's one of the reasons he probably hasn't cheated..

Just 2 days back. We had a little misunderstanding then I mentioned something about sèx. Quote me if am wrong. Sex is meant for bonding between a man and a woman and that's why God instituted it in marriage alone. So you both can get closer, and in my own opinion when there are issues BTW them the power of sex is to make forgiveness easy. The next thing my husband said is. It's not like am enjoying the sex. It's now feels like been in a pool.

OMG I was HURT. I lost the essence of life immediately, lost the essence of marriage. Out of anger I told him only men with big dicks should complain, men with pencils dares nor. That was my only defence because he said it with soooooo much heartlessness. I cried...i cried so much. This man that I have back sex with so that our sex life would be whole. Sometimes I bleed. Then I said to myself it's not worth it. Then I realised, For him if anything goes wrong with me due to that sexual style, Am on my own. Few hours later I sent him a text that I was sorry for everything not because it was easy but two wrongs never ever make a right in marriage. Can't walk away with two kids can only make it work.

Following day wen I saw he was in a good mood. I decided to ask, then he said I was lax and it has made sex unenjoyable. I wondered y he didn't tell me immediately he noticed and why he had to throw it to my face. But what, it's a man's world. If they don't reap their mean ways here on earth. It waits in heaven.

But trust me since then I have been concerned,Google all I could, nothing much. Even the kegel exercise has always been my practice. I now feel this time he might just look outside wen sex gets all pool like. He said he will buy toys, he said he can't pretend to love it wen he doesn't. Which I agree with. But even the toys can it ever be Like d real things. Sometimes he might want to feel the woman and not want toys. What happens next? I can't encourage him to cheat cos if he does and I find out I would leave with my kids. But I don't want him to. Am confused. So so confused. You know wen a man is concerned he will probably do research with you, find out info call doctors, but he didn't, he just broke the news to me and he's like do something about it or I might not be making out with u again. It's really not fair. Cos some men might possibly not go about it that way. But at the same time, it's like that's his nature. I can only Leave with it or take a walk. But take a walk to where, becos am now lax? But I also hear sex in marriage is KEY, with two kids, and I love him, but thatz still not the point. I DON'T know. Please who does? I have smiling all over the house, acting like everything is fine once am alone i cry again, because the fear is, would there ever be a solution , would I still be tight again, and this is a marriage where sex is sometimes 1 in 2 or 3 weeks, so definitely that's not the reason for my laxity, i will be sad if my marriage gets ruined because am lax. I hope my husband reads this thank God he is a nairalander

Qualer:
ujo atula gi, onwee ihe di ina ime the thing, owukwa just block na paint, na fabric akwa!

hilarious.... but I like that .... brilliant, objective thinking!

OK, I think that was classy from misssclassy

You were making a lot of sentence making sense

Good brain ur mama gave u.

Insightful post op

Aminat508:
Teach your 3-year-olds how to wash their private parts
properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those
areas and that includes you. (remember, charity begins at
home and with you)

Source: http://www..com/talk/topic,259721.0.html

Am not into taking care of kids & all that, so I wanna know, is it possible for 3 year olds to properly clean their private parts themselves?

some prefer the wife bath the girls while the man bath the boys. does that work?

MzNelly

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Do you think you can hold and close a deal?
Do you have a creative mind and the ability to manage a team?
We invite you to join a team of brilliant young minds who are determined to challenge themselves and raise a promising ONLINE PLATFORM from scratch to success.
The salary is attractive and upfront.

To determine if you are cut out for it we request you submit a CV and Cover Letter to juniourportland@gmail.com

That is what we call humility. . . .It has its own price.

OboloMAN:
Sure , WIKE is a big Iroko tree I must say.

If he can start with a major client like Julius Berger to fill Amaechi's PotHoles. Be rest assured the remaining projects will be of high quality standards.

WIKE (Talk & Do)
Akpabio of Rivers state
Fayose of South South.

I agree entirely with u....I love men of smart & quick leadership decisions.

A tree that would grow tall starts from birth..... I just hope this one of those trees

Thumps up for u

Damn! That's a man of action and decisive leadership.

ekiloui:
1.) Some women have very low libido
2.) Some feel that's how it should be (I.e the husband should always be the one to ask for it)
3.) Some think it makes them more desirable ( the more they hide it the more the man needs it)

The truth though is that as women we have a duty to satisfy our spouse, if he needs it simply give it to him except of course you have a reasonable excuse (e.g your period, fatigue, illness etc). And also you should be able to ask your husband for it too...men also like to feel desired, don't think you're the only one who wants to feel attractive, your husband will feel attractive whenever you ask, so stroke his ego.

If you want to hoard... Prepare for your husband to start playing away match.

My sister u too get sense. Very intelligent comment.
What do u like? orijin or don simon?
I beg take five.

weezii:
I feel it has to be cos the proprietor is leaving office. If the new guy deems it fit he will resurrect it.

Those are the things that come with change in government so lets bear it for now.

too bad!

I don't no if anyone has noticed YouWin portal is no longer functioning.

My friend had one message from YouWin some weeks ago, he has been trying to reply them with no success, so he asked me to log in yesterday to help, I did and down till this morning the portal is showing error messages.

Does that suggest that the YouWin program has ended?

@OP, insightful and well thoughtful thread.

sometimes we just have to deeply reflect on live and its real meaning with such touching reminders.

Love Supersedes Life... Junior Portland

TrishaP:
Thanks.

UW


Pls I need to find somebody exactly as the girl on that your profile. can u help a brother?

Happy New Month TrishaP

gopius:
you can at least send ur application as well as your cv to the email address given... As you will be informed more about the opportunity.
thnx

Bros, is this offer still on the table?

so

you

lime

and

quote

take

123

ozoigbondu:
Shoprite tinxs on my mind fuel and matches where are you we have a shop and soft bread to loot.it is better if we nationalize MTN rather than boycott it and go on a looting spree

see wetin hungry u. They deserve pay in their own coin though.