₦airaland Forum

Truth is bitter




Lalasticlala, ishilove good morning

By Ochereome Nnana
AREN’T you amused at this federal agency called Code of Conduct Bureau (CCB)? And the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) for that matter? These two supposed anti-graft agencies can no longer hide the fact that they have become willing tools in the hands of politicians seeking to settle scores and consolidate their strong arm hold on power.
The EFCC grabbed Mrs. Toyin Saraki who ceased to be a governor’s wife EIGHT years ago! This happened a couple of days after her husband, Dr. Bukola Saraki, defied the All Progressives Congress (APC) leaders and emerged as the head of the eighth National Assembly in cahoots with senators from the People’s Democratic Party (PDP); a political party which he used to govern Kwara State for eight years and later joined in flushing out of power. APC’s supreme leader, President Muhammadu Buhari, and his cat’s paw from the South West, Asiwaju Bola Tinubu, felt humiliated and swore to settle his hash.

Bukola Saraki
Tinubu’s newspapers and electronic media, including his online social media franchises, were mobilised to spew vitriol on Saraki and his House of Representatives neighbour, Speaker Yakubu Dogara. Recently, the anti-Dogara invectives have been toned down since he made his expensive “burnt sacrifice” of jettisoning his principled federal character formula for the sharing of House principal offices. He appeased Tinubu and Buhari by conceding the Majority Leader position to Hon. Femi Gbajabiamila.
Saraki felt he could overlook or ignore Tinubu’s whining. After all, he too was a governor and the political godfather of his own state, Kwara, just as Tinubu was of Lagos. He even dismissed Vice President Yemi Osinbajo as a “mere commissioner”. Indeed, Osinbajo was a commissioner in Tinubu’s cabinet in 2003 when he (Saraki) was Governor of Kwara State. Saraki, at a point, made feeble but ineffective efforts to raise his own media counter-forces.
Saraki did not reckon with the fact that Tinubu was not alone in the fight to bring him down. He did not expect President Buhari to be this serious in siding with Tinubu. After all, the president had pledged to work with whoever emerged as the leaders of the National Assembly. Buhari, who is reputed to be a man of his words, was not expected to turn around and lead the war to destroy Saraki.
Buhari started by simply ignoring Saraki and Dogara. Till date, the president has refused to meet with Saraki even perfunctorily. Normally, you would expect the president to crave the support of the leader of the National Assembly to make his own work easier. Buhari simply shut out Saraki.
Now comes the Code of Conduct Bureau into the picture. The CCB dives into its dust-covered archives and unearths a tatty, twelve year-old security document: the assets declaration of Saraki when he assumed office as Kwara Governor. CCB says it contains “false” declaration, and has dragged Saraki to court. Saraki says it is all politics, and he would meet his political enemies in court. Fine. Let the fight begin. I am sitting pretty at the front row of ringside with a cold bottle of zobo drink.
But wait, where was the CCB all these years after Saraki made this “false” declaration? I agree, crime does not rot. It can be acted upon any time. But in this case, a matter that was never mentioned by the CCB or any other “anti-graft” body has now become the “banana peel” that could railroad Saraki out of office and probably into Buhari’s jail, if he does not take care.
Before I go on, let me remind us of what this Code of Conduct Bureau once did which made me wonder what manner of “anti-graft body” it is. When on June 29th 2007, the late President Umaru Yar’ Adua decided to make his comprehensively packaged assets declaration public (unlike Buhari’s shallow declaration which did not allow us to know his real worth), this same CCB protested! It advised President Yar’ Adua that though his gesture was “noble”, publishing his assets would “put pressure on other office holders to do the same”!
How can a genuine anti-graft body say no to a measure that will facilitate the fight against corruption? Why protest against a “noble gesture”? I expected the CCB to call on other public office holders to emulate President Yar’ Adua but CCB chose to go in the opposite direction. We pointed out discrepancies and unwholesomeness in Buhari’s declared assets. Why has the CCB not said anything about it? Or does the CBB exist only to protect the interests of a ruling president and his favoured public office holders? Why is Saraki the only politician on trial for alleged false declaration?
Saraki is really in soup. His enemies have him by the balls. By the time he has been photographed and videoed in the dock as a “big catch” in Buhari’s anti-corruption crusade a number of times, the resolve of his supporters among the senators will be sorely tested. They would increasingly be painted by Buhari and Tinubu’s media, supporters, lawyers, online busybodies, civil society groups and opinion leaders as supporters of corruption. How long can they really hold out? Buhari and Tinubu have an enormous array of options against Saraki, and their case is helped by easy gullibility of the Nigerian public who only get to know they’ve been played after the game is over.
Saraki is cooking in his own stew. He was one of those who ganged up and brought down the PDP and former President Goodluck Jonathan. The former “new” PDP promoters now nestling in Buhari/Tinubu’s APC will eventually be systematically rendered irrelevant, not just in the party but also back home where they now hold sway. A few of them could end up in jail, and the rest will be forced to line up behind Buhari and his erstwhile “long-suffering” disciples who are now indisputably in power.
Our elders advised us, long ago, to be careful about dressing up masquerades because they could turn their canes on us. Nicolo Machiavelli made it clear that those who support princes to gain ascendancy are often the first group of people he eliminates in order to tighten his hold on power. Former military president, General Ibrahim Babangida, demonstrated his coldblooded Machiavellism when he calmly signed the execution warrant of Major General Mamman Vatsa, his childhood friend, schoolmate and fellow anti-Buhari coup plotter.
Buhari realised his ambition to become the second military ruler to govern Nigeria as an elected president through the instrumentality of two major impetuses: the Buhari/Tinubu alliance for the formation of the APC merger, and the movement of the rebel “new” PDP group into the APC. Without either of these events, Buhari would never have emerged. Saraki’s bum is being roasted because he was the first to show his hand against the president’s political interests. He is being shown who’s the boss around here.
Since Buhari assumed power, he has totally turned his back on the “new” PDP. He has never offered them anything yet. Buhari has only marginally carried Tinubu along. It is quite possible that by the time he has consolidated, Tinubu might also be sidelined with most of his erstwhile disciples assimilated by Buhari’s erstwhile “long suffering” acolytes in a “new” APC.
The CCB, EFCC, ICPC, NSA, DSS, INEC and the lot, which are controlled by Buhari’s “long suffering” disciples or made to “tow the line” are formidable agents of state which Buhari has primed for his power consolidation.
Politicians who worked for “change” have gotten it. We will soon see if it was the change they bargained for.


http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/09/saraki-in-his-own-stew/

Toktee:
UNA NO GET WORK,uwarku!

Mumu get sense. Na


Lalasticlala, ishilove...

See how this dullard wants to threaten journalism in nigeria

This is a press statement from online publishers, The Trent


The attention of our Editorial Board has been drawn to a publication by the Nigerian Presidency on its website (www.statehouse.gov.ng) threatening our President and Executive Editor, Ms. Aziza Uko. The publication titled, President Buhari, Vice President Yemi Osinbajo, and El Rufai Share Mutual Respect (September 17, 2015) and authored by Mr. Laolu Akande is the Presidency’s official response to a story published by our newspaper, The Trent, titled, Osinbajo Insulted By El Rufai, Walks Out On President Buhari (September 16, 2015).Our report, which exposes to the Nigerian people the hidden power dynamics in Muhammadu Buhari’s Presidency certainly did not win us friends in this secretive government. We are, however, disappointed that Mr. Laolu Akande, a spokesman of Nigeria’s Vice President, Professor Yemi Osinbajo would resort to putting out an unprofessional character assassination piece in defense of his bosses in Aso Rock.

Laolu Akande: A Presidential Spokesman or Hitman?


We expect a higher level of public relations practice from Mr. Akande. If he had any contribution to make to the story, which was written by our political editor, reaching our Editorial Board through the various channels published on our website to lodge a formal complaint would have been an obvious step.Rather, Akande, who is also a cleric, decided to polish up an error-ridden ad hominem article, drafted by an uninformed quack, and attempt to pass off such a disgraceful compilation of lies, insults, and innuendo as some kind of government press release.The threatening publication has been removed from the government website following a massive 24-hour backlash from Nigerians on social media who condemned the Buhari government’s attack on a private citizen and attempts to intimidate the press.


FG Threats Against The Trent


We are not taking this intimidation by the Nigerian government against our newspaper, our journalists, and our Executive Editor, Ms. Uko lightly. This open threat follows a disturbing pattern in the few months of Buhari’s presidency. It is just one more, in a series of bullying, and threats of arrest targeted at our journalists and Ms. Uko from minions of the government and Nigeria’s Secret Police.The Nigerian public, the international community, democratic governments around the world, and human rights organisations have been placed on notice with regards to these strong-arm tactics.President Buhari and his government need to be placed under close observation even as top-ranking officials aremooting the idea of a clampdownon individual and press freedoms by censoring social media in Nigeria. Such an undemocratic move, would amount to a despotic approach to governance by this regime.Already, the Nigerian government isoperating a secretive high-tech surveillance programmewhich it uses to spy on its citizens, tapping their phones, and hackingtheir email and social media accounts at will. These tyrannical operations, carried out in the name of “fighting Boko Haram”, are alien to a free and democratic society.The only thing Ms. Uko has done to deserve this vengeful attack from Buhari’s Presidency is to get an education, acquire valuable skills building a career in media and communications, and eventually use her life savings to start a business offering her services to legitimate organisations. In the process, she has provided employment to young Nigerians. She is being attacked because shehas the audacity to succeed in the online media space, where others have failed.


We Stand By Our Story


The Trent’s report, which understandably has ruffled feathers in the Presidency, was written by Mr. Ephraim Adiele, a young Nigerian with a combination of talent, tenacity, and brilliance – a rare and valuable mix needed to succeed as a journalist, anywhere. We are proud to have him on our editorial team.In the light of failed attempts by Mr. Akande and his agents to discredit our story, we wish to reaffirm our position as a newspaper.In putting together this report, our journalist spoke with multiple first-hand sources close to the Presidency. Unlike Mr. Akande, he was careful to delineate fact from opinion. Our fact-check team took painstaking care to reconfirm the details of the story and verify the sources. Just before we took the final decision to publish the report, we made a strategic editorial decision to leave out some details in order to protect our sources and, of course, save our country from further embarrassment.We stand by our story. The events and exchanges between the players in the report all happened as communicated to us during our investigations. We believeour sources to be credible.It is unfortunate that our editorial integrity is being questioned by Laolu Akande, a man who clearly lacks the character to stick to the facts, or the courage to respond to our reporters’ enquiries, or the presence of mind to accurately state our Executive Editor’s name. Twice, Akande, has been disingenuous to the Nigerian people about events in Aso Rock. His unprofessional response to our story has demonstrated the intent of the Buhari government to continue to manipulate the Nigerian public through misinformation, intimidation of the press, and character assassination.As a newspaper, we have the responsibility to respect the wishes of our sources, who spoke with our journalist at grave risk to their lives. Specifically, in this instance, they expressed worry over the tyrannical methods of the Buhari regime.Their fears, and the fact that a government press statement could include an open threat to a journalist, are a manifestation of the dictatorial tendencies of the Buhari government.This episode provides important leads to what the Nigerian press should expect, going forward, from the Buhari-led Aso Rock.

What The Trent Stands For


When we set up The Trent, less than two years ago, we committed to upholding the highest standards of editorial integrity; these principals and standards which are clearly spelt out in ourEditorial Policyguides our people and processes at all levels.While, our Board does not interfere in the day-to-day running of our newspaper, our team of Editors take every possible step to ensure that we deliver to our readers accurate and high quality news and information. Keeping with global best practice, only our editorial staff have control over the editorial process. At notime do we permit non-editorial staff, for example, the Board of our parent company, or external groups to influence our editorial decisions.This story is about what happened in the Buhari government and nothing else. It has nothing to do with any former President or any client of Ziza Group – past orpresent.We launched The Trent in December 2013, with the resolve to playing a crucial role in shaping a free and progressive society by shining the spotlight on our political, business, social, and judicial systems; to highlight injustice and corruption; and to give a voice to the unheard, the oppressed, and forgotten of our society.In 20 months, The Trent has risen to become one of the most influential online newspapers in Nigeria. This is not by happenstance. Our rise is a result of carefulplanning, creative thinking, sustained brand management, and the ancient principles of hard work, dedication, and a whole lot of heart.The Trent is independent, and we are in the business of reporting news and not hiding or distorting it. We are committed to keeping our promise to our readers. They can be rest assured that we cannot be bought by special interest groups.

The Editorial Board of The Trent

http://lindaikeji..com/2015/09/buhari-presidencys-response-to-trent.html#more

TonyeBarcanista:
Goodluck to them

Concern them

kay29000:
Nice. The girl is BEAUTIFULLLL!!!!

Na lie she no fine

deebrain:
impotent cat

Foolish ram

[quote author=deebrain post=38229809][/quote]Senseless goat

encryptjay:
Just gerara hia for real!!!

Lalasticlala and ishilove how una dey jare?

Buhari is a hypocrite



#likesarakiliketinubu



Nothing good can come out of this dullard in aso rock and their foot soldiers on nl



No more light again, I can see ngeneukwenu and Beremx et all looking for new propaganda else there won't be any pay for them by month. End

The South-West zone of the National Association of Nigerian Students, NANS, has distanced itself from the position of its national president on the trial of the Senate President, Bukola Saraki.
 
The NANS president, Tijani Sheu, and some groups headed by the Director-General of Heritage Group, Katch Ononuju, had on Saturday in Abuja threatened to protest the trial of Mr. Saraki to foreign diplomatic missions in Abuja.
 
Mr. Saraki is being tried at the Code of Conduct Tribunal, CCT, for alleged false declaration of asset to the Code of Conduct Bureau, CCB, and for operating a foreign account when he was Governor of Kwara State between 2003 and 2007.
 
The pro-Saraki coalition accused President Muhammadu Buhari of complicity in the travails of Mr. Saraki, insisting that the Senate President’s disregard for the directive of the All Progressives Congress, APC, in respect of National Assembly leadership tussle was the root of his trial.
 
But the south-west NANS, Zone D, brushed aside the position of its the national body. It maintained that rule of law should take its course and urged Mr. Saraki to submit himself for trial.
 
This development may have opened fresh dimension to the unfolding drama surrounding the travails of Mr. Saraki who has had to contend with hostilities, mainly from his party, APC, since his June 9 controversial emergence as the Senate President.
 
Speaking on behalf of the pro-Saraki group on Saturday night, Mr. Ononuju said:‎ “Buhari lacks the political will to fight corruption. We are very worried with the ‎turn of things.
 
“The action by the Senate to appoint its own leadership is the reason behind this witch-hunt. Accidents have been arranged for senators who supported Saraki. DSS have been used to trail senators. The current CCB should not exist. The current leadership came into office in 2010 and their tenure ought to have elapsed in April.
 
“The power that seeks to undermine our democracy and the Senate is gaining the upper hand. I want corruption to be fought, but we do not want a return to the days of Olusegun Obasanjo where arrests were targeted. The president makes appointments and does not refer them to the Senate for confirmation because he does not like the leadership there.
 
“Our democracy is under threat and that is why we are talking to Nigerians. ‎Since Buhari took over, everything is going down. We are calling on the Chief Justice of Nigeria (CJN) to protect the integrity of the courts by ensuring that injunctions are respected. We are marching to every embassy to tell them that our democracy is under threats.”
 
However, NANS Zone D, in a statement on Sunday by its coordinator, Okikiola Ogunsola, said “NANS as a body” had recently pledged its support for Mr. Buhari’s fight against corruption.
 
Earlier on September 2, the NANS President, Mr. Sheu, led students to Aso Rock Villa to pledge the support of Nigerian students to Mr. Buhari’s administration, particularly its anti-corruption campaign.
 
“Our position is that any individual or group charged or alleged to have participated directly or indirectly in misappropriation, mismanagement or acquired properties in a wrong way should submit to rule of law to take effect,” Mr. Ogunsola said.
 
He added that though the zone had respect for the national body; yet, as “an ideological zone, we would not in any way subject ourselves to any act by our national body that tend to undermine or coerce rule of law from taking its course.”
 
“We are stating in strong terms that our zone is not of the planned protest by the civil society group under the aegis of Heritage Group and NANS,” it said.
 
In a related development, the Deputy Publicity Secretary of APC, Timi  Frank, has condemned calls, particularly by a group, Northern Ethnic Nationalities Unity Congress, for Mr. Saraki’s resignation as the Senate President in the wake of his trial.
 
Mr. Frank, a longstanding loyalist of former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, dismissed the group as ignorant, non-existent and “impostor organization hurriedly packaged to do a dirty job at the behest of Saraki’s traducers, with the sole aim of assailing his towering image.”
 
“Where were they when Saraki was governor? Where were they when he was chairman of the Nigeria Governor’s Forum (NGF)? Where were they when he blew the whistle on the fuel subsidy scam in the 7th Senate? Where were they when he contested and was elected Senate President?
 
“Let failed politicians not seek to make political capital from this set up against Saraki called asset declaration trial.”




http://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/top-news/190380-sarakis-trial-splits-nigerian-students-body-nans.html

Well said

tola9ja:
[size=18pt]Lai has been breaking Metuh mouth since 2014[/size]

Mugu

donphilopus:
Yea. But at least he carried his opponents say Mulikat Adeola and others along. Dogara wanted to dump Gbajagbiamila and those who supported him but he later succumbed to Party' Supremacy. Saraki wants to claim to the world that he's stubborn and he must face the consequences of stubbornness!

If I hear... saraki apc's pain in d ass

donphilopus:
Does APC even still need him? Anyway, he can still be a member of APC from the prison!

Shut up don-fool-opus

jazinogold:
lol..u enjoy d 1st tym; you no learn ur lesson!

u enjoy m again d second tym na now u com remember say dem b thief!


abeg mk I go enjoy my own Jor!

na to put old dirty n torn notes for my wallet

LoL

My name is ishiamu and I think its important the
public knows this for Security reasons.. Ikeja # Shoprite mall
is now a den for bad people o! While packing shopping bags
into yo car, you may be approached by 2 sexy, braless 22-
year old girls in micro minis and skimpy tops. They will
press their tits against the window, and ask for a lift to
town. On the way, they will strip down and perform MouthAction
on each other. One will then climb into the front and suck
you off while the other attempts to steal yo wallet! I had
mine stolen last # Thursday , # Friday , # Saturday , twice on
# Sunday, Monday, # Tuesday , # Wednesday . And once again
today! I'm on my way back there now, please pray for me so
I don't fall victim again to these terrible criminals!!!

TonyeBarcanista:
Cc
Truckpusher Rozayx5 bomsilaga exxel erunz dunsman Nigerianvenom Ishiamu Phockphockman, nwadiuko1, ibokUtoroh, Koded, Ecoterrors, iPrinz20 Aprokoman, Whynotthetruth, Dearpreye, Firefire, Francizy, Temitemi1, Hinwazaka Ecoterrors, Dumkem21 Biafranqueen, Mogidi, Mizmycoli, IsraeliAirforce, Candyrain, Ambivert, Rose2014, Provacateur, Opiaoku, NDPVF, Anonimi, Engineerboat, Talktimi, ahaika23, coolestrogue APCSucks Emperortj93 DebateNigeria and all patriots

Barcanista we go get issues ooo, no vex me

Truckpusher:
Tonyebarcanista MizMyColi Rozayx5 bomsilaga exxel erunz dunsman
Nigerianvenom Phockphockman, nwadiuko1, ibokUtoroh,
Koded, Ecoterrors, iPrinz20 Aprokoman, OcheJoseph,
Dearpreye, Firefire, Francizy, Temitemi1, Hinwazaka
Ecoterrors, Dumkem21 Biafranqueen, Mogidi, Mizmycoli,
IsraeliAirforce, Candyrain, Ambivert, Rose2014, Provacateur,
Opiaoku, NDPVF, Anonimi, Engineerboat, Talktimi, ahaika23,
coolestrogue APCSucks Emperortj93 DebateNigeria SeverusSnappe demdem and dekdek

Where is my name there? Truckpusher I will shoot you oo

bloodkiIler:


just one by one we'll deal with these apc bastards

ngeneukwenu the bastard she-male at last if pdp still retains this states then prepare to be a she-male forever

bastard disgusting she-male like ngeneukwenu abi CleverIy

Yes ooo

Biggest Problem In Love:
.
.
Good Guy Gets Wrong Girl..
.
.
Good Girl Gets Wrong Guy..
They Fall In Love
&
Good Ones Get Cheated..
Now The Good Guys Thinks,
All Girls Are Fraud..
&
Good Girls Thinks,
All Guys Are Flirts..
.
.
.
.
When Good Guy Meets
Good Girl,
They Avoid Falling In Love
&
Become Just Good Friends. # sighs #


True or False

The easiest way to a woman’s heart is to be able to make her laugh, of course you don’t need to be a comedian to do this, you just need to know the right thing to say at the right time and you will get her laughing out loud. When you make a Lady  laugh, it triggers something in her that endears you to her and this make it easy for you to open up and tell her how much you love her. Most guys find it very difficult to approach a girl and harder to say what they have in mind, but with a little comic relief it gives you a good platform and confidence to pour out your heart to her. Here is a list of funny things to say to a Lady , we hope you’ll find them informative and interesting

Funny Things To Say To A Lady

1. “Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more of those vodka?”

2. “My doc said that I can never have arrhythmia. But your presence is sure proving him wrong!”

3. “I sure hope lady that you know CPR, cos you are taking my breath away!”

4. “I’m addicted to ‘Yes’, and I’m allergic to ‘No’. So what’s it gonna be?”

5. “Hi, I am Marv. My full name is Marvelous. You must be Beautiful!”

6. “Have you ever been to the moon?” (Lady – no) “Wow, me neither. God, we are so alike!”

7. “What are you doing this evening?” (Lady – nothing) “Let’s do nothing together then!”

8. “Hi, I am Phillips Adam Shankman. How about we take a walk to remember and make things better!”

9. “Girl, I know what you did last summer. Wanna do something similar this winter?”

10. Say in a surprised tone, “How on earth do you do that?” (Lady – what?) “Look so damn good!”

11. Say sympathetically, “Girl, will you stop getting any hotter? You are killing the poor thermometer!”

12. When a Lady stares at you, say, “Wait! Before you cast those dreamy eyes on me, I want to get my maps and GPS ready. Okay, go!”

13. Hold out your hand and say, “Would you be kind enough to hold this while I go out for a walk?”

14. Say in a hushed tone, “If you turn me down, then I am gonna tell NASA that you are smoking hot and the real cause of global warming.”

15. “If you were a phone of Apple, then you would be called iGorgeous!”

16. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I pass by you again?”

17. “If you were Christmas, I would be the Grinch who stole you!”

18. “Girl, you are so delightful, cheerful, and bright, you can make Batman rent an apartment and abandon his cave!”

19. “Hi there, miss! How about doing some community work by sparing some space for the needy? Let’s move in together!”

20. “I think I am gonna buy a Polar Bear.” (Lady – why?) “I am gonna use it to break the ice between us!”

21. “Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?”

22. Say with a careless tone, “Lady, you better direct that beauty somewhere else or you’ll set the bar on fire.”

23. “Do you have a Band Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.”

24. “You must go and see a doctor lady! (Girl – why?) You have ‘BEAUTY’ all over your face!”
Funny Things To Say To A Lady  You Like

25. “If grapes make skin beautiful, then you must be living in a vineyard!”

26. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.

27. You must be an interior decorator because when you walked in the room was suddenly beautiful and perfect!

28. I must be hunting treasure because I’m digging your chest.

29. Can you fix my cell phone?[What’s wrong with it?]

30. Let’s name your legs Thanksgiving and Christmas and I’ll visit between the holidays.

31. Have you ever been arrested?[No.]

32. Really? It’s got to be illegal to look that good.

33. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I pass by you again?

34. Have you ever been to Antarctica?

35. I just fell over and injured myself when I saw you!

36. If I had a nickel for every girl I had ever seen who was as gorgeous as you are, I’d have… 5 cents.

37. My next drink is on you![Why?]

38. I saw you and dropped mine.

39. You’re so stunning that I just forgot my pick up line.

40. I’m like a Rubik’s cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get, baby.

41. You’re as sweet as Skittles and I want to taste the rainbow.

42. I’ll make you a deal.[what?]

43. I’ll give you a kiss and f you don’t like it, you can return it.

44. There’s something wrong with my bed.[What?]

45. For some reason your number isn’t in it.

46. I think you might have something in your eye. Oh, hold on, that’s just a twinkle…

47. I’m a lot shorter than this in reality but I’m just sitting on my billfold.

48. I lost my phone number. Can I just have yours?

49. I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

50. You must be a Snickers bar.[why?]
Funny Things Ladies Say

51. “I wish these male comics would stop doing impressions of me sounding like a fucking idiot”

52. “I wish I wasn’t the only female writer on this tv show”

53. “I wish men didn’t expect me to skinny, gorgeous and sexy and then make fun of me for the effort is takes”

54. “Why are supermodels 14 years old?”

55. “Stop letting men in entertainment stereotype me”

56. “Why don’t I make the same amount of money as my male co-workers?”

57. “Do you mind not yelling about my boobs while I”m walking down the street?”

58. “Why is there a debate about whether or not women are funny?”

59. “I’m eating yogurt because you gave me a fucking yeast infection!”

60. “I’m drinking a vodka and soda because you are clearly only attracted to skinny girls”

- See more at: http://www.aeroberry.com/60-funny-things-to-say-to-a-lady/#sthash.dnd5R3KN.dpuf

NgeneUkwenu:
Yea just the way you said of Jonathan...

lalasticlala, this is for you!

Get sense

NgeneUkwenu:
I am only Sure of Abia, Delta, Rivers and Akwa Ibom! PDP can take the rest till 2019 when they will be swept away forever!

Mugu, eat a d**k

I wonder who will win

Ape vs bat.... I think ape should be stronger and give bat a killer punch...

TonyeBarcanista:
Cc: Truckpusher Rozayx5 bomsilaga exxel erunz dunsman Nigerianvenom Phockphockman, nwadiuko1, ibokUtoroh, Koded, Ecoterrors, iPrinz20 Aprokoman, OcheJoseph, Dearpreye, Firefire, Francizy, Temitemi1, Hinwazaka Ecoterrors, Dumkem21 Biafranqueen, Mogidi, Mizmycoli, IsraeliAirforce, Candyrain, Ambivert, Rose2014, Provacateur, Opiaoku, NDPVF, Anonimi, Engineerboat, Talktimi, ahaika23, coolestrogue APCSucks Emperortj93 DebateNigeria and all patriots

Where is my moniker in this list... I go shoot you and barcelona down ooo with cr7 goals... no vex me.. cr7 on fire LoL

1. Fake your death: Lie down in the comfort of your home after taking orijin mixed with a fried rice and beans combo, get a friend to take a deathfie of you then get another stupid friend to post on his social media accounts cos obviously Mr skiibi sorry (dimwit) you are dead and cant do it. Just make sure you don’t come back from the land of the dead wearing only one pair of jeans always.

2. Donate your virginity: I don’t know if virginity is an amount in a bank account that you can donate, but if you have your virginity please donate it freely and don’t care if the men you want to donate it to are boko haram members who’ve been konji deprived or uncircumcised’

3. Have a baby mama: 2face has, reminisce has, olamide has, iyanya has, and the list is endless. If you are too dump to already know this or no girl wants to have a child with you cos they’d rather be another baby mama to Iyanya, don’t worry your ass too much, i have girls in my village who would confuse you for iyanya as long as you have a tight boxers, six packs(not necessarily) and you are always taking pictures barechested.

4. Dress Funny: I dont care how top notch your dress sense is but if you want to become a celeb in Nigeria, you need to dress funny. Either you wear a green suit, red trousers and a yellow shoe like you fell of a rainbow(pls don’t let KCEE see this) or you do a hairstyle that seems like you planted two taribo west’s head on your head. For the ladies make sure your hair is looking like it was weaved by Aso oke experts and if you must wear bumshort then go have a baby bump first.


http://naijasinglegirl.com/4-ways-to-become-a-celebrity-in-nigeria/

PentiumPro:

If you know Lagos, you wiil be afraid for your people there if this story is true and it escalates.
I'm certain all of you rambling here don't know Lagos and the terrain.

Wanna put my cockk in your mouth please

donphilopus:
These are the kind of people we need as Ministers. Unlike those drunks who constituted Jonathan's cabinet. Ministry of Finance would soon welcome our (Igarra) in-law as its Head as the former Head (Okonjo-Iweala) would soon be heading to Prison. .Those PDPians won't like seeing this at all.

Lalasticlala, food is read, we're waiting for alolo!!

http://www.punchng.com/news/ministerial-list-dss-screens-odimegwu-falana-utomi-others/

Omo eh you still never get sense till now? This unbelievable

[quote author=TonyeBarcanista post=37969706][/quote]Keep dreaming