₦airaland Forum

Khariza:
Kobojunkie, I just want to appreciate your objectivity in delivering your points. I only felt a little frustrated when you kept on indulging those two people earlier on, in the first 3 pages. It was just sickening reading their subjective views repeatedly.

The original poster simply pointed out the 'gaps' inherent in traditional marriages NOT backed up by exchange of either vows or oaths (duly signed by both parties, and binding on them) in either a church or marriage registry, simple.

So young ladies and gentlemen, kindly read and learn to protect your interests in marriage.

It was even shocking to see that most that attacked him were women. So these women are OK with not legally establishing their marriages? Eye go clear them soon

skyisthelimit:
May be it's because of the way the OP captioned this topic but let's say no form of marriage should encourage cheating. However the reality remains the reality. This is 2021, most things are tilted towards documented legal proof. Why do you think the men don't want court weddings? Why do you think the embassies ask for marriage certificate,even some churches now ask for marriage certificate before they wed you and you can't have two different marriage certificates at the same time. Even though men still cheat in legal marriages but for the sake of the woman,she can better enforce a right under legal marriages. You need divorce proceedings to terminate a court marriage,very tiring and cumbersome but with a customary marriage, the dowry could be returned or the man simply says he's tired and wants out...then you begin to hear talk like 'return the woman to her people'... sounds very derogatory but that's what happens. Let's remove sentiments and accept the better scenario. Wives of wealthy men can educate us more on what they go through, because his lawyers will easily find a 'way' to accommodate all 'his children'.

You read this thread with an open mind. I wish most people did too. I'm surprised that women are even the ones against what OP said. Like, this is 2021, are women still foolish?

Spherical77:
And where is that a basis or yardstick for having a legal marriage?

If you know you won't be faithful to your spouse why then do you marry?

Women only file for divorce when men rub shit on their face. We still have couples who got married legally and till date their marriage blossom without no infidelity or abuse whatsoever

I appreciate your fight for the feminine gender,but this generalization makes no sense at all. You make it sound like it's just the husband who has problems in marriage. These DNA fraud cases should tell you things are not as they appear

Joyceaile:
bros I am a testimony to heavenly bang,more over its not an everyday thing. We courted but didn’t fornicate during the cause

You're not your man o. I'm speaking from experience. Don't get me wrong. Sex is wonderful, one of the most wonderful gifts of God to humans. But to think men are these beings, driven ONLY by their urge for sex, then think again. Like I said, na single guys dey hype sex pass and na them dey carry am for their head

I no go see that Manna guy for threads like this. I wonder why

Decency2020:
I am a Yoruba woman but I can tell you that the only people who will agree with your above statement are the Igbos in the South East. My fellow Yoruba people are more interested in bringing another dead wood in the name of Tinubu. While the middle belt are neither here or there, the south south are only happy with chest beating that they are feeding the nation with their oil. They are not allocated to oil well.


Nigerians are bleeped up to say the least especially the youths.

If only the west has more people like this lady

OmoEpe:
You are correct a lot of them don't renew because of monetary considerations thereby jeopardizing the interest of their congregation.

It's better to go to court jeje and be safe. Even some big churches too have this attitude

But bia why can't we go back to our time tested African traditional believe about marriage?

English wedding was a precursor to feminism which today have led to legalisation of Gay marriage

Any perversion of God's order for doing things always end in premium tears.


I come in peace o

The problem is the women are not protected in our African traditional beliefs about marriage. I will birth a girl child sometime in future. The mere thought of that lady being tortured by one useless man and not been able to say anything is a scary thought...

OmoEpe:
Some churches are registered with the Govt for official conduct of wedding between couples, those ones issue court recognised certificate.
To be on the safe side it's always better for those desiring monogamous relationships to additionally back it up with a court wedding
Cheers

Except this. To be on safe side though, go to court first and get your certificate. Then take it to the church. I was in the federal registry last week and I heard that some churches have expired certificates and they don't want to come and renew it. The woman said such certificates are null and void. To be sure, do court first then proceed to church for blessings

ezenwajosh:
Zombies don't even know how to shout NICE DEVELOPMENT on this one

I dey tell you. I dey find Vulturegrills, I no see

Nbotee:
Dis one sense done dey download small small...

Nothing like sense... These ones are selfish. It didn't matter who ruled, even boko haram leader would have gotten their votes also. All the care about is 2023 presidency, which they were promised. May thunder fire the.

tctrills:
That's why I
told you to carry out your research first. Not all traditions and cultures are the same in Africa. I annoys me when whites think we African have 1 set culture but when a fellow African thinks that way, It's far worse.

Na naija I dey talk, not Africa. Is there a tribe in Nigeria that women pay groom price? I legit want to know please

DEMZEE:
So polygamy is illegal under the law

It is. Don't count sharia law sha, those people ways dey different. If you want to practice polygamy, no go court

Joyceaile:
na weytin full Una head oga

Lmao. Like I say, marriage go open una eye. Goan ask married women how many sex dem dey see. Most men are only sexually active before marriage; after marriage, sex becomes a chore than fun... No matter who fried rice with chicken sweet, if na only wetin I dey chop, I go tire

Biglittlelois:
Show a proof where it is stated that it is against tradition for a man to be tied to one woman, also, show us what will happen to men that tied themselves to one woman since tradition does not allow polygamy.

You're getting it wrong. Polygamy is permitted and not enforced. Two different things

Kingstanding:
. The wedding Our Lord Jesus Christ attended at Cana in the Bible was it held in the church or Court? Honestly speaking you're a mad person. Church and court wedding were introduced by white people not biblical. Your slave mentality will surely ruined your life. Rubbish and ingredients.

What happened during divorce during bible times? Did the woman get anything? Absolutely nott

Biglittlelois:
Same with polygamy.

No one said it is. You're not getting this thread

Kajaard:
In the north it's not illegal.

The only exception. Women dey suffer pass sef for this region

Joyceaile:
My hubby will never tire,I make sure I over feed him with good joyful Bleep

Eye go clear you. Women always think na sex man wan chop. Una go learn soonest

tctrills:
In some customs, the children belong to the woman so you have to be specific on the custom you are referring to. Next time, come up with a complete research

Which custom? That custom no dey pay bride price? Abi na the woman dey pay bride price

OmoEpe:
Stop the blind arguments. Traditionally a woman is seen as the property of the man so also her seed and all her pocessions.
The traditional marriage is based on the African tradition which is patriarchal in it's ENTIRETY.

The woman being, by this traddition the absolute property of the man isn't by any stretch of imagination permitted to contemplate being with another man.

English law is what preaches monogamy. If you desire a monogamous marriage just ensure you do a court/church wedding. That is the OPs point.


There is absolutely no provision for monogamous relationship in African tradition marriage


Hope you understand it better now?

Not church wedding o. That one is even more useless. That one na just for God's blessings. For court case,church wedding no count

Kajaard:
This I can agree with.

Na wetin OP too dey talk na

DEMZEE:
ANY MAN WEY DEY DO COURT MARRIAGE NA MUMU

Lol. You wan change change am for women

Okhuadams:
So what's ur point cos I see no point is this pointless Post

Simple! Women should insist on court marriage

Yagami:
But common, instead of arguing over superiority of gender and adultery, why not take common sense from the info the OP point out especially for WOMEN
1. Traditional marriage though acceptable and approved is NOT LEGAL BINDING
2. Traditionally, women right are bought by the husband through bride price..
3. It is HIGHLY advised to NOT settle for only traditional marriage as a woman but go for a court wedding, so as to protect your rights

Like it or not, divorce favours the man in a traditional matrimony, while it tint towards the woman for a legal or court marriage..

Ladies LEARN!!!

No o, free these ignoramuses to be arguing with known fact

DEMZEE:
Even with court marriage men can still marry many women

Polygamy is not a crime in Nigeria

Very wrong o. Except na under Sharia. Apart from that, if a man marries a woman customarily and attempts to marry another one, na jail dey call am. It is a crime. They sound it like alarm in marriage registries sef

goodsam23:
The Truth Might shock a lot of people but the OP is 100% correct.. In Traditional/Customary marriage, The bride price ties the bride to the groom, however it doesn't tie the groom to the bride... Kindly research this..
Also note that a woman is only allowed custody of the children in customary marriage until the kids are 8 years old, when they are actually considered old enough to leave their mother, most men simply allow the woman to continue suffering with the burden of the childrens upbringing until sometimes they have even graduated from UNI, then he will claim his children... Kindly go to any customary court near your place of residence & confirm..
Being woke, speaking good and fluent grammar and quoting social media influencers counts for nothing in real life marriage issues & child custody battles..
I am happily married & did both traditional and court wedding with my wife.. But is is important our people understand the Law. I have a sister & I have educated her on this same issue since she is single but ready to settle down. As far as Traditional Marriage is concerned, a man cannot cheat.. I am shocked that most ladies on this platform are attacking the OP. She is sharing information that can save them from future regrets.

They are bringing wokeness into the talk. What you said is nothing but the truth. Any lady who has ears should hear o. If you didnt do court marriage, wahala dey o

Sterope:
The man never ready to marry more wives. How much do these women get in Nigeria?

Women in traditional marriages don't walk away completely empty handed as well in customary courts.

Na lie o. For moat customs, if man pay bride price for woman head, and he say him no do again, she must return his bride price to be free single again. No compensation for women o

Badonasty:
Na one year remain for una...you and your oga go smell pepper

You think say Buhari no wise? He will anoint his candidate

jamaicabakare:
They were never teammates and Arteta was not part of the Invisible Team....ogbeni face your Chelsea team.

Vulturegrills no fit be Chelsea fan. Be calming down abeg

Adjovi:
Arteta dey the invincible team? Which year

Iffa slap your eyeball.

Na buharist. So no blame am. Even when he doesn't mean it, lies come naturally

[quote author= post=106849396]How can our nation ever be great if looters and corrupt politicians are not jailed for life or shot in the head?
No wonder the younger politicians are getting even more corrupt and dangerous than the old ones.
God help Nigeria.

God bless J.J Rawlings of Ghana,
May his wonderful Soul continue to Rest in Perfect Peace.
If one of us @[/b] go become presido peren
We are going the way of J.J Rawlings straight.
(Go find out what he did to all past politicians that destroyed Ghana before him, we won't tell you here!)
Or we go the way China treat their corrupt politicians.
All corrupt thieves and criminals yansh go red!.
Damn Democracy.
That's why we don't do politics.....Foolish politics.
[b]And our court of law aren't helping also.
What a shame![/quote]Calm down boss. Remember the slogan of your dear party: "All sins are forgiven"? Na why dem acquit Orji Kalu. You sef can steal as you like, Buhari will not do you anything. Na Peter Obi no go fit thief; except he plans on joining APC... Remember your bullionvan criminal? Abi Gandollar Una go get sense by force

[quote author= post=106848494]Still, KILL THEM ALL!!![/quote]No now. Kill people who believe in One Nigeria Buhari should not hear this from your mouth o