@ jcob

reading is fundamental.

@ onoerime

im not too sure. some sources i have seen say that female genital mutilation (circumcision) takes away the joy of sex to a woman, but at other sites they say women with even the most sever forms of it can have orgasms.

i have only been here a few days, and i dont love it, but so far i like it because i am able to interact with my fellow nigerians no matter where they are in the world (even if some dont accept me).

good morning/evening/night religious nairalanders, hope you all enjoyed your christmas.

the reason i started this thread is because i want to get a few clarifications on a few things. before i get down to my questions, let me give you a little background information about me. i was born into a very religious anglican family, and throughout my childhood and teenage years i was involved with church. i have always been the type of person who loves to ask questions and learn more about certain subjects, so when i was involved with church, i always asked many questions to the clergymen. during bible study, i always paid close attention to what we learned, and at around the time i entered secondary school, i started to notice many contradictions in our readings. at first i refrained from thinking those thoughts because i thought i was being blasphemous, but as i said earlier, i was always the type of person to ask questions, so i started to ask a few clergymen the questions i had.

i would always wonder why god would let so many people on earth suffer, if we are his children? i would wonder why if we were made in his image, why is there so much evil in the world? i had many more, but to make a long story short, i started to ask members of the clergy some of these questions i had. at first, they would direct me to certain scriptures that supposedly explained why certain things are, but being the knowledge thirsty person i was, those quotes did not satisfy me. i would keep coming back asking more and more questions, and they would do the same thing, but as the questions became more detailed, the usual response was reduced to 'god works in mysterious ways.'  After getting that response so many times, i thought to myself 'why is there always some sort of excuse for any contradiction in the bible?' i gained the courage to a question similar to this to a bishop, and instead of giving me a straight forward answer, he accused me of being blasphemous and said the devil has come inside of my mind. he scolded me, and then afterward talked to my father about it, and lets just say i was punished when we got home.

ever since that incident, my faith in christianity started to diminish, and i started to do independent research. at the time, i would still go to church because i was not yet in a position to dictate whether i should go or not, but i was never as enthusiastic as i was before. after a few months of doing this, it got to the point to where everything that was said in church was going through one ear and out the other. i was very weak in my beliefs, but i never let it show. after coming to the realization of just how unfair the world is, and how much influence man has on religion, i finally told myself that i cannot continue to pretend to believe in things i dont, so i decided to stop believing in christianity all together. some personality traits of mine also had an influence in why i decided to stop believing, but that is an entire different subject.

i dont believe in christianity, but i do feel that there may be some sort of higher power that we dont know about, but even then i am confused. when i tell people how i dont believe in god, but i believe that there might be some higher power we dont know about, they tell me 'oh you're atheist.' ive always thought i was an agnostic since i believe in something, but honestly i am largely ignorant of that. even though i do not believe in god, i still have this negative feeling about atheism for some unknown reason. my question is this: what are the differences between agnosticism and atheism, and how significant are they?

i apologize for the long read, but i feel that in order for me to truly share my viewpoint, i have to go into great detail.

@ odunnu

i deeply admire your perseverance; you did not let polio keep you from doing the many activities fully able bodied people take for advantage everyday. your dedication alone should be enough for a guy to call you his wife. please, stay strong, and never settle for less than your worth. good luck with your search and merry christmas.

@ ijebubabe

you're very welcome. im glad my post cheered you up, this is after all the season to be jolly.

dont worry about going to the cinema alone, people do it all the time- the important thing is making sure you are enjoying yourself. what are you planning to go see? whatever it is, i hope you have a wonderful time.

@ ijeoma2619

sure thing. the rice turned out great, and everybody loved it. i havent put the leftovers into the refrigerator yet, so feel free to come over and help yourself.

@ MCLOVIN

if you are underestimating the seriousness of hiv/aids, then you are one big FOOL. in this day and age, you can never be too careful about these type of things. if you insist on continuing on your road of ignorance, than all i have to say is this: i hope you dont get burnt.

@ lovemoi2

i can totally understand where you are coming from (even though im a nigerian man who is not ugly lol). it is sickening to see just how comfortable my fellow nigerian men are with putting down our own women. some will gladly go out of their way to brag about some oyinbo woman they banged after going to a club, but when you ask about the naija chicks, they say they are frigid, or not polished, or plainly not as attractive. sometimes i wonder to myself, how many of these so called men will say these things in front of their nigerian mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and sisters? it is really a shame. go to a white american forum, or an indian forum and you will be hard pressed to see them degrade their women as much as some guys here do.

there are many polish people in new york city, and i think they are very cultured people. they are deeply religious catholics, so watch your tongue when talking religion to them.

@ ijebubabe

i feel your pain sister. this year is the first year that i have spent christmas away from home, and not only do i feel lonely, but i hate this cold weather in new york. normally my roomate is here and i have someone to socialize with, but he left last week to spend his holidays with his family. however, i have friends who invited me to a christmas party and i am planning on going in about an hour. i would have went earlier, but someone told me it was rude to go to a christmas party without bringing something, so i had to rush and find someone who can make me a tray of jollof rice to bring. the very sweet lady who is making it is only charging me a small amount, and it will be ready soon.

please cheer up and if you cannot find someone to spend the day with, try to find a good movie and make the best out of it. merry christmas.