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Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you

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jonesbaba:
:::::::::::: SAMANTHA ::::::::::::
.
.
He took delivery of Samantha the sex doll at his front
door at 7pm that evening. He had paid a princely sum of
850,000 Naira for it. He unpackaged the box revealing the
pretty face of the curly haired young sex doll. He gazed
at the doll in amazement and began giggling like the
Quagmire character in the American animation comedy
series, Family Guy. "Giggidy giggidy! All right!" He picked
his phone and dialed a number. "Monica it is over
between us! I don't want to see you again!" He dropped
the phone and turned on the music player in the room.
Samantha by Tekno flooded the room. He whistled and
danced to the song. "Samantha o, Samantha you dey do
me sotey Samantha o. Samantha you just dey do me do
me!" He stopped dancing and began undressing.
"Samantha, you are fully charged so let's get down to
business." He winked and got on top of the doll. He
began caressing the body of the doll and soon was
thrusting hard. "Oh yeah, you are so soft and warm! You
are the real deal "Sa---man---tha!" He yelled as he
climaxed and went limp. "Phew! That was good." He
exhaled. "Round two!" He announced. He climbed on the
doll and began thrusting. "I am in paradise!" He moaned
as he reached cloud 9. "Samantha, you will not demand
for money for shawama, you will not request for money
to make your hair, no money for transport, no Std, no
drama, no ice cream, no monthly period, Samantha you
are a darling!" He nibbled at her ear. "Round Three!" He
changed the posture of the doll and placed her in the
position that is associated with a popular four legged
domestic animal. He began digging from the rear. Within
three minutes he was exhausted, lying beside her and
breathing heavily while the clammy sweat ran down his
body. "Samantha, you want more, don't you? You are a
bad girl! A very bad girl!" He winked at the doll and
continued, "But I am tired, you have taken all my energy.
Let me go and get some fufu and soup in the kitchen.
Tomorrow we will continue from where we stopped. Oh
Samantha, my naughty girl!" He got up and wearily
walked into his kitchen. Inside, he began warming the
pot of soup on the gas cooker. "Round Four!" A stern
voice announced. The man turned around in shock.
Samantha the sex doll was standing behind him and
staring at him with her steely eyes. "Whaaaat! So you can
walk and talk? But you are a robot! I didn't know you are
a possessed doll! "Samantha immediately stretched its
right arm and gripped him by the neck. She dragged him
to the bedroom. "Leave my neck! This must be a software
malfunction! I paid for a sexy doll but they gave me this
possessed and demonic doll! "The doll tossed him onto
the floor and jumped onto him. With its hand, it gripped
his flaccid penis and began pulling it to a state of
erection. The powerless man began sobbing and begging
for his life as the fluid left his body in an anticlimax.
"Round 5!" The Sex doll announced. "I can't get it up!
Leave me alone! "He begged desperately searching for an
opportunity to flee the room. The sex doll pressed a
button on its right thigh and bellowed; "Strap on!!!"
Immediately a huge strap-on appeared around its waist.
"Turn around and spread your legs!" It bellowed to him.
"Chisos!" The frightened man screamed and began
crawling towards the door. He cursed the day he thought
of the idea of buying a sex doll. "Help! I need help!" He
yelled, desperately hoping the neighbours across the
fence would hear and come to his rescue. "Help! I will
not do this again! Monica I need you back, I won't do a
sex doll again!" He got to the door and almost crawled
out but the sex doll held on to his legs and pulled him
back. With the last ounce of strength in him, he picked a
plastic stool and threw it at the sex doll, aiming at her
head. The stool struck the sex doll and she relaxed her
grip on his leg. He fled the house. Residents were
stunned to see a naked man running in the night
screaming about Samantha and yelling at them to get the
thing out of his house. Curious neighbours ran to the
house. They were gobsmacked to see a life-size doll in
the house dancing wildly to the music playing in the
room. "He must leave my house today! He has to park
out tonight! Can you imagine bringing in a demon into
my house!" The angry landlord shouted as he led a team
of hefty men to invade the house and eject the sex doll.
The naked man ran up and down in the cold night,
screaming, "Samantha o! Samantha has killed me!"

sheikshegetto:
Thank y'all for your patience with me Ooo... Another update in a few months time.








Kidding... much love.

sheikshegetto:
Started writing again, just last night....i wan make the first update long small before i post am...make una bear with me.

Chipappii:
Wish you the best bro. I have not forgotten o. I'm just stuck with a freelancing job I got so I'm super busy at the moment but anyhow, I still dy write some things down.

Thanks everyone for una patience. Happy new year

WHIZKIDEFE:
thank you bros.
-
Its like you are karid o, better style. Lol

WHIZKIDEFE:
Attention Please!! One house!!
*clears throat
I just ran back home from one of joshuamoses101's girlfriend's Bday, My eyes don detty, but i gats do this.
Meekest, you no turn again o, abi SARS hold you for road? Lol
-
Back to the matter,
Where do i even start from sef.
Sighs!
First of all! (go down low) lol
-
Today makes it a makes it a month(07/Dec/17 - 07/Jan/18) since i started freestyling(writing) this story.
Nor be small tin o (ask 2face)
-
Guiness book of records, where you at? I deserve an Award for the Longest freestyle writing session abi, lol.
-
I didn't know i could com this far, believe me.
I started this story with the title: A day in Somalia (HK), with the intention of writing a short story of my experience that day.
-
But there is a saying that goes ' you never know what you could do until you try'.
I started the story at first and it was like i was writing for myself cos i didn't get any likes nor comments, i felt discouraged till Meneski came in.
-
Meneski, if i dey tell you say you be my paddy for life, maybe you go think say na joke i dey, bros i mean kpuff!
-
Meneski came, encouraged and gave me the ginger i required to keep me going, and i fired on
(no time to check time)
-
While at it, Ikdbabie(1st lady) showed up, and added to the ginger, omo, na so my voltage take high, i kept on writing cos i know some people were appreciating work, it gave me joy you know.
-
Stil on stil, i kept on writing and communicating with my new found friends (meneski and ikdbabie) till favch showed up with her comment, it added to the voltage.
-
It was after favch showed up that few people started commenting, ikdbabie even volunteered to share pop-corn for those who came to read my story while i supported with coke.
-
You know, at the mention of free coke n pop-corn, some people started commenting, so that they could get their osho-free package.
-
It was while got some more comments, that i felt motivated to go as far as i can in writing, that was when i changed the title from 'A day in Somalia (Hk) to 'My life at DESPO'.
-
And i kept on updating my people back-to-back, the voltage was high, i was relating with my paddy here and they kept me going.
-
With the collective efforts of my paddies, commenters, Guests readers and Ghost readers, this story landed on front page at the 6th day after i started freestyling (writing), do you know what it takes for a novice's story to appear in the front page of the largest Forum in Africa?
No be beans o
-
See let me tell you the truth, i was so happy that day like i won a million dollar cos i didn't experrerit, it came as a suprise plus it came sooner than i expected, my body just dey sweet me anyhow dat day, truth!
-
After it got to front page, i felt i should keep on doing my thing, that sometimes, i make some sacrifices and inconvenience myself to ensure i drop atleast an update eachday.
-
The comments reduced at a time, but Meneski, Ikdbabie n Favch always assured me they got my back, i kept on.
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At a time my Fellow DESPOlites started showing up and i felt happy cos i never knew i got a small family here.
-
I'm very happy grateful to you all, both old and new readers, especially those of you who encouraged me with your comments for i wouldn't have come this far without you, thank you!
-
To my Guest readers, thank you very much, its not your fault you can't comment, i understand,
*thumbs up.
-
To all of you who de-activated your ghost-mode cos of me, i say a very big thank you, i know it is not easy, you guys rock!
-
To you all you Ghost readers, who come here to read-n-go, kwantinue o, i hope you build mansions and buy cars with the comments are reserving.
Ona go dey stingy comment like say na money, Smh for you.
-
What some of you don't know is,
Sometimes your comments and likes go a long way in motivating a writer in a way you might not understand.
-
Do you know how it feels to write a story without a comment or like, its just like talking to yourself,
na so crase dey start (ask MI )
.
19.3k views, nor be small thing o, all of ona try ahbeg, the good, the bad, the ones wey stingyness press their neck, the cheerful commenters, the likers, ona too much o, i hail!
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To all my old,new and upcoming Connects (paddies), i salute ona o, i greet ona specially.
I know say one day me and some of ona go meet for any location, and jolly 2geda.
I value our frienship, may it continue to grow stronger and endure the test of time, cheers!
-
Please, i'm human, therefore i am bound to make mistakes, please, don't hesitate to correct me.
Thanks for correcting me in advance!
-
I'll continue to move forward, no turning back.
I'll continue repping the street and the city, no dulling.
-
Ehen, before i forget, any day i couldn't update, just know something came up, may stress or ba3 or other circumstances.
.
I'll keep on Repping, see you at the top.
.
Singing Ojuelegba by Wizkid.

souloho19:
There won't be a devil wears okrika anymore...not in Amaife..not anymore.....that everyone was sure of.
But the devil also wears Prada. Everybody knows that!
The End

Gucciqueen38:
Lol.. Wehdone sir

SheWrites:
Thanks

So glad your ghost mode is deactivated

tijehi:
Shewrites, please bring the mechanic oo. Wonderful episode.

sheikshegetto:
To my frustration , I found two identical bottles and I could recollect him saying one was for malaria and the other was the real thing, I dialed his cell phone but the idiot wasn’t picking… arrgghhr. What to do what to do...my time was running out.

“well something must kill man,” I growled and downed a gulp from both bottles. Make the two dey work together.

sheikshegetto:
“No regrets” was all her husky voice could manage before she crushed her lips into mine.