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Jaybeyblu's Posts

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AutosNeatly Used Chevrolet Aveo 500k by jaybeyblu(op):
Neatly used Chevrolet aveo for sale.
Model :2009
Mileage 56,000
Manual transmission
Air condition working well. The car is in a good condition.
Location; portharcourt
Please contact 08143104778

FamilyRe: I Need Ur Counsel Please. by jaybeyblu: 9:48am On Oct 09, 2014
OnyeEgo1:
so because it wasn't gud 4 u, it shudn't be for others, d question, how did u acted over dia? I guess u were as nervous as d op n did every prolly out of fear, carefulness, negligence or weirdness....
A little touch of positivity is needed here abeg
My dear the issue was not with his parents but with the man in question that does not know what he wants! He loves my food and always praises it. when I cook for him so why would he still be asking his mom and siblings if I cook well and if they like my food? I was on my best behaviour when I got there but after that I saw another character in him that I wasn't aware of before and that was he depended on his family's opinion to make any decison. What I am saying in a nutshell is that he dosnt need his family's opinion to know if he wants to marry the lady in question. Maybe this would be an opportunity to study her fiance and know how he behaves towards her when he is with his people. At the end it is her decision to make.
FamilyRe: I Need Ur Counsel Please. by jaybeyblu: 9:28am On Oct 09, 2014
Sophyrocks:
Na wa o. A thread i read about what nigerian women do to get husbands mentioned exactly what your fiance is asking you to do. In other words, he is turning you to one of those desperate women who are 'Awon marry by fire by force' crew. I dnt like the way your fiance is potraying you in the presence of his parents. Its very clear that he allows his parents make decisions for him. People have successfully gotten to know wat they want in their spouses all by themselves without going to the extent your fiance is asking you to. DO YOU WANT TO TELL ME THAT HE HIMSELF CANNOT COURT YOU TO KNOW IF YOU ARE BOTH COMPATIBLE ALL BY HIMSELF? doesnt he know what he wants? If it is true, a woman is to stay in her in laws house in order to know her in laws well, how about the man? Doesnt a man need to be assessed by his inlaws too? what stops him from also staying in his own in laws house? I am sure sucha man would find it ridiculous. its very obvious he doesnt know how to make decisions for himself. No wonder people complain after marriage of interference of in laws in their marriages. To me, this is not a good sign. Going to stay with them shows there is absolutely No respect for you, your fiance is yet to decide if you are right for him or he isnt sure you are meant for him and it shows distrust on his part. If you make the mistake, be prepared for more drama in your marriage.
Best advice so far! Your fiance is yet to know what he wants. I was in your shoes he told me, innocently I obeyed. After all I heard was him asking his mom how do u see her? Is she a wife material? He wld ask his siblings how do u like her food? He dependend on his people's opinion about me, from there severe scrutiny came, wahala, too many problems till I ran for my life. It was not a good experience. From my own experience I don't advice u to go.
FamilyRe: My Wife Wants To Go And Marry A Very Wealthy Man: Advise Me. by jaybeyblu: 6:56am On Aug 15, 2014
Amelian: OP, I smell money ritual things o.... a billionaire leaving his finance for his lover to control? when no be say na jazz person use for am?... no man in his right senses leaves his money for lover to control , even wife sef , na by sheer luck... op, such men dont exist..
ok, lemme ask you this question? lets assume, uv worked hard all these years and u later become even a trillionaire, will you! allow your lover control your
finance? if you can answer that question, sincerely , u will then understand, there is something fishy about the billionaire.
marry your wife properly, get another stream of income and communicate more about the future with your wife... u will see, how she will believe With you and stand by you.
shikena~
Thank you o! That's exactly what came to my mind, billoniare ko! Billoniare ni!, either she is about to be duped, or pimped or used for rituals, the gist is so shallow! Billoniare wants her to control his finances why? Amelian has said it all! Tell your wife to be very careful.
FamilyRe: Advice Needed! Am I So Picky As Regards To This Issue? by jaybeyblu(op):
joywendy: hehe this op's story is sounding like all this nollywood movies, where you can always predict what will happen at the end. grin grin

Imagine 80 missed calls? op you are you sure its 80 missed calls? if it is,then mehn that guy needs to visit the mental hospital for proper checkup. Some thing is wrong with him upstairs.

@op all has been said, just follow the sensible advice you have gotten from people here. RUN!!


i'm really enjoying the stories here and learning from it too.

#following
*takes a seat, grabs popcorn*
Hmn 80 missed calls was better I said he called me none stop for a whole week, heaven would bear me witness. 2am when I wake Up to go to the bathroom my phone is ringing, it was scary my phone was useles for 1 week cos it was always ringin. When I confided in my colleagues at work they were laughing and one was even telling me that I am overeacting that when her man refused to pick she called and gave him over 70 missed calls but he dumped her sha! Later on when I finally picked I told him how can I leave my phone for few mins and get back and I see 80 missed calls does it seem normal to u? He told me that because he is" very very emotional" that's why that for that one week he cldnt eat he wld be bathing with one hand and d other hand he is holding his phone trying to call me!My luck was I never disclosed my house to him, I knew he is a psycho but my friends are thinking I am overeacting hence my coming here. Thanks to you all for your contributions. It really made my day. God bless u!
FamilyRe: Advice Needed! Am I So Picky As Regards To This Issue? by jaybeyblu(op): 5:18pm On Aug 11, 2014
aisha2: You sabi, these days just say "Baby, I am not here for games I am here for marriage and watch how fast the pants fly. "I want us to date will give you se-x alright, but "I want to marry you will give you all styles, hanging from chandaliers so she can "show" you how many yards of wife materials she is. Then after that you will get free food and free dry cleaning
Lmao!
FamilyRe: Advice Needed! Am I So Picky As Regards To This Issue? by jaybeyblu(op): 10:10am On Aug 11, 2014
aisha2: Block him and move on.
Reading your previous posts, I urge you not to be too hard on yourself, there are all sorts out there and you may kiss some frogs but Prince Charming exists believe me. No, you are not too picky you have standards something everyone should have.

I know you will be feeling as if something is wrong with you meeting men like this, You are fine at least you are sensible enough to know none of this is normal.

I wish you the best, am sure we will read your testimony soon
Thank you sis! God bless you.
FamilyRe: Advice Needed! Am I So Picky As Regards To This Issue? by jaybeyblu(op): 10:09am On Aug 11, 2014
Icherishu: Please is there no block settings on your phone. Or rather you put him on reject list. Please do that as soon as possible. You are liberal o, if na me I for din block you tey tey.
Thank you so much! I would block him asap.
FamilyRe: Advice Needed! Am I So Picky As Regards To This Issue? by jaybeyblu(op): 8:50am On Aug 11, 2014
aisha2: Poster please Indulge me, WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE IN THIS GUY THAT MAKES YOU HOLD ONhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh


?
I am not dating him I told him off like I stated in my post he just keeps calling. Thanks
FamilyRe: Advice Needed! Am I So Picky As Regards To This Issue? by jaybeyblu(op): 7:40am On Aug 11, 2014
Another time , he told me he has a gift for me, kept talking that he has to send the gift across to me, he had to give it to my dad who was coming over to my city, kept over emphasizing about the gift and all that, so when I got the gift I saw it was airline pyjamas! (With qatar airline business class written all over it)I felt insulted but I thanked him anyways. I was very loving when we started talking but now I am just plain rude. My bestfriend told me to play along but I just can't. Am I wrong?
FamilyAdvice Needed! Am I So Picky As Regards To This Issue? by jaybeyblu(op): 7:24am On Aug 11, 2014
Here is it: I met this guy mid last year, and he asked me out took my no, tried calling me but I was in a rship then so I didn't give him a chance. This year I broke up with my bf,2 mnths later this same guy that I met last year started calling me and was telling me that he has always loved me and he wants to marry me, I was suggesting we get to know each other 1st, he said ok, but I noticed the info he gives me about him self is very sketchy: he told me he works with a poular oil coy and he goes offshore 6months on and 6months off, so I asked him his offshore location and I am familiar with where most coy locations are but his story dosnt add up, he tells me he is travelling to uk today and I don't hear from him for a month and then I get a msg 'I just got back to nigeria' out of the blues. I have a feeling he lies a lot, and another aspect is that when he calls and maybe I was in a meeting he would keep calling till I pick, I wld go to d bathroom b4 I am back 80missed calls, I have only seen him 3 times, he is in a nearby city and can easily come if he wants to. My question is: if he is really serious won't he be very regular coming over to my town to see me? This is d 5th month since we started talking on phone, instead he wld call me go to so place go and collect this go and collect that, I told him that he shld stop sending me on so much errands, he would insist I leave my work, I should take permission, when I refused he started shouting at me that he wonders what is giving me wings, cos of that statement I hung up on him and refused to pick his calls and for 1 whole week my phone rung none stop I mean 24 hours a day my phone is ringing I cldnt receive any calls my phone was useless, when he calls he must question me, what happened I called u, I told him to stop questioning me, we are always quarelling he calls me always but I have told him we r not just compactable dat we shd be better of as friend but my friends tell me I may be so harsh towards him. Initially when he stared calling the only talk is what is the colour of ur pants, I would be like its 7am and I am at work, pls stop he wld be like this girl I am telling u that I am Hot and u are saying another thing u are not serious to settle down. he told my sister that I am very rude which I admit when he gets on my nerves but nairalanders am I over reacting?
FamilyRe: A Thread For Ladies Who Want To Get Married by jaybeyblu: 9:19am On Jan 10, 2014
husu: I need a god fearing girl for marriage, the girl must be below 30 preferably from Anambra State. I am working in an oil servicing company and reside in Portharcourt. am having difficulty seeing my people here in Portharcourt. pls I need a fine girl. 08103291186
Hope say you be fine bobo oo wink
FamilyRe: Living With Parents After Wedding by jaybeyblu: 8:01am On Jan 07, 2014
Thanks@shizzle11 i have called off the wedding! I was astonished as you are now when I met him, and as an Ibo lady also this was new and strange to me, I have racked my brain trying to figure out why would he be like that ( I even nicknamed him ancient of days cheesy) because though he is a well learned man in his field of occupation, his reasoning is something else.so backward when it comes to marriage issues and relationships,I tried to convince my self that when he moves out everything would be ok maybe because he is not so exposed and lived all his life there, the last time we had a heated argument I told him that he was under a spell,he told my sisters that I abusedhim and told him that he was under a spell. he was so pained by that statement.. My brother trauma no be small, I even went for counseling in my church (that was early last year)and the pastor advised me to carry on with the wedding that it is their culture and I should just bear it that I can't change it. That the place my guy is from it is their tradition. I noticed so because those around him full grown men are still living with parents having kids there, but recently, most of them are getting their own places small boys around him including his younger ones have all moved out except him.
FamilyRe: Living With Parents After Wedding by jaybeyblu: 6:34am On Jan 07, 2014
When we started dating and I went to his house for the first time, I was shocked because of the state of his room so old, no better furniture just an old and out dated tv, if you see him outside, he is cute, looks good,dresses very well,has good cars and I was very disappointed when I came to his house. I told him for starters paint this room which he did, and I told him changed this old box tv to a plasma tv or LCD one. I told him to buy a 32 inch tv he said he would buy a 40" one I said fine, on reaching the store, he was like won't my father complain that this tv is too big? My father would say, this or that. I kept telling him but that is what you want go for it, he later changed his mind that he would go for a 29" TV because he is not so sure about his father's reaction. Then I didn't take this issue serious but now I am recalling all, if he can't make a stand for common tv that he wants to buy with his own hard earned money to put in his room, how much more to move out. ( at last he bought the 40" I seriously convinced him no be small thing oo) and his father (of course he has to show him the tv if he approves of it) approved and liked the tv so my guy was happy to finally hang it on his wall cheesy
FamilyRe: Living With Parents After Wedding by jaybeyblu: 6:13am On Jan 07, 2014
veave: RUN babe.
they r hidding something about your husband and they dont want you to know until u get married to him. it might be a spiritual or health condition. i'm telling u dis from xperience.
which sane father will want his grown up son to occupy space in the house?
He is the one that has decided to stay there, because he has brothers and they all have moved out and even as at that his father still bugs them to come back to the village and "why would they pay rent" 'and what is bad in living in the house with them' and each time they applaud my man telling him that he has done the right thing, and you see him beaming with smiles telling me ' you see what my father said'? He would tell me, "how many years remaining for them to stay on this earth highest 30 yrs." you can manage with them, his parents keep telling him almost on a daily basis how it is a scary world out there, why the village is the best, that he may move out and armed robbers would be disturbing him, and sunk so much fear in him that till this day my man hardly sleeps be it his friend's house, my house nor anywhere except a well secured hotel and his " almighty" village house.. undecided
RomanceRe: What Sort Of Devilish Wife Did I Marry? by jaybeyblu: 9:22pm On Jan 06, 2014
greatestmistake: @ OP We are just in too similar shoes
I've written a similar experience to post on nairaland recently but was afraid that people that knows me in nairaland will deduce from the story that i am the one. I just opened a new nairaland I.D to be anonymous. Poster, your own is moi-moi case compared to what am passing through. MARRYING MY WIFE IS THE GREATEST MISTAKE I MADE IN MY LIFE. 2hrs will not be able to finish narrating the first paragraph if am to narrate the hell am passing through. For instance, as am typing this now, since Jan 2nd 2014 I've not been talking with my wife, only good morning and me dropping money for family upkeep. She can keep the face-off till Jesus returns. Whats the problem? I was to take my relation who stays with my bedridden mother to village on 2nd as my younger siblings have traveled to village. Then on 1st I told my wife to prepare with the kids by 7am next morning being 2nd that i will drive them to go and stay with my mother as i drive with the relation to village for a 9.am scheduled village meeting and to come back same day. My village is barely an 1hour journey. I woke up early around 6am and tapped her to wake and start preparing but she shouted at me. Later by 8:20 she is still putting on towel to go and bath, then I told her am leaving to go and pick the relation as time is already against us, that she should then transport herself to go and stay with my mum. Our residence is not up to 10mins drive to my parents place. I then left to village, while in village I tried calling her and my mother but due to network limitation i couldn't get them. To my greatest surprise around 4pm while in village my mother was able to reach us on phone and told me that she didn't see my wife again and have not taken her lunch as she hardly moves around with her clutches due to her health challenges. I tried calling my wife again and network was telling me switched off repeatedly. I cut short everything in village and speed off back to town and met my mother stranded alone, I almost shed tears seeing her. Then back to my house, I met my wife watching cable tv, I asked her why she didn't go to my mother again, she asked me while I left her instead of exercising little more patience waiting for her to bath and by the way how do i expect her to take public transport with 2 kids? (not up to 10mins transport). Since then I cut off communication with her in anger as I can't beat her, I can't send her packing due to my religious family upbringing. In fact my mother now is telling me to forget about what she did, that it was just the devil at work. She is a core christian.


Am tired of typing, this is just a tip of the iceberg of the devil am living with as wife. May God punish the day i first set my eyes on this lady cry cry
Wow! God bless your mother! Calm down bro nothing is too difficult for God to do ! He can and would change your wife ok? Try and read this book: the power of a praying husband. *cheers*
RomanceRe: What Sort Of Devilish Wife Did I Marry? by jaybeyblu: 8:54pm On Jan 06, 2014
soul_glo: So you sat down and discussed with your parents to come get the kids and did not bother to mention it to their mother. Congratulations. You are the cause of your parents heartache and if they know that you never told your wife and still support your behavior then they are not being honest with you. They are adding to firewood to the fire. Good luck with your divorce. Ruin your children's life to make your parents who have lived their's already happy
God bless you for this comment! There are 2 sides to a story @ op do you derive her from seeing her own parents? Or the children from staying with her own parents ? Do you allow your parents to interfere in your marriage? Do you put her last and your parents first in all ?( in other words does her opinion count or they would have to be approved by mom and dad? ) I believe there is an underlying issue that makes her behaves this way but if you don't permit your parents to control your marriage and deprived her right as the woman of the home,then they have every right to see their grand children for Pete's sake preventing them from seeing the kids is just plain wickedness and it must be stopped..
FamilyRe: Living With Parents After Wedding by jaybeyblu: 7:09am On Jan 06, 2014
I just told my father ( not the full details though!) but I told him that I am no longer interested about the marriage and he encouraged me. And told me to be prayerful that let God's will be done. That if we were meant to be we would be , but if he is not the right one for me, my own MR RIGHT would come soon. I am hopeful, and I thank you all for your advices God bless you...
FamilyRe: Living With Parents After Wedding by jaybeyblu: 10:30pm On Jan 05, 2014
Acidosis: smiley




@jaybeyblu...
I'm sure you've gotten enough response from Nairalanders...


The only word I have for you is NEVER you think the next man you'll meet would have ALL the qualities you desire... Do not go out there thinking you'll meet a PERFECT man.

Infact, the process of courting might seem perfect and rossy...
But on getting to HIS house, events would begin to unfold.

Count yourself lucky and show appreciation to God for revealing his nature to you on time.
Thanks dear, I would keep that in mind..
FamilyRe: Living With Parents After Wedding by jaybeyblu: 10:25pm On Jan 05, 2014
@ candy dear I have complained about this long time ago on nairaland but nobody responded to it, I have complained to my close friends and as at last month his boss begged me to be patient that after January and my man doesn't move out I am free to make any decision I want to .. Whenever we have this issues my man would run to my sisters and promise them heaven and earth and they would feel sorry for him and be begging me to be patient. I know my guy he is good in winning people over he would tell the story like he is the victim here.. But I wear the shoes and I know where it pinches me.. End of January was the last ultimatum but as at 2 days ago he started picking fights with me out of the blues and I know that is his pattern as the time to move out is drawing near so he tries to use quarrels to avoid it!
FamilyRe: Living With Parents After Wedding by jaybeyblu: 10:16pm On Jan 05, 2014
@ nikkyshine I love him and he is very caring but like someone said the family house problems beclouds everything and 90 percent of our misunderstanding is because of his staying in his family house.Whenever I give him an ultimatum he would start calling everybody, my sisters, brothers and friends to talk to me that he would move out, and actually that period he would contact agents and start searching for a house, but in the process of that he would be giving some funny conditions like: 'I don't like upstairs because my mom is not so strong she may not be able to climb it' but even as at that he went as far as buying properties for the new apartment and I was convinced that he would move out we kept tabs on a particular house, but later on we got disappointed as the lady that was supposed to pack out told us her sister was interested in the house. So my man stopped searching for another house and I try to talk about it he would start quarreling all over again. It is not like I have been there folding my arms for 3 yrs I would insist he should move out he would make a move that period when I relax believing he is serious to move out he would give one excuse that he is eating the rent money he would replace it next month and that's how he would relax and not move out again.
FamilyRe: Connect With Someone Born On The Same Month & Day You Were Born! by jaybeyblu: 4:21pm On Jan 05, 2014
Jbluv55: JUNE BABIES IN THE HOUSE

June 8th !
FamilyRe: Connect With Someone Born On The Same Month & Day You Were Born! by jaybeyblu: 4:16pm On Jan 05, 2014
MayorSchwags: june 8 or no bdaygrin
Yay! Birthday mate! wink
FamilyRe: Living With Parents After Wedding by jaybeyblu: 3:28pm On Jan 05, 2014
Thank you all! I would tell my dad today.....Sorry OP for delaring the thread I am just a sister in distress..
FamilyRe: Living With Parents After Wedding by jaybeyblu: 2:25pm On Jan 05, 2014
Ok thank you guys please how do I call it off (the wedding is supposed to be next month) how do I tell my parents, they are really excited about the wedding and all that. We have almost concluded all preparations sad. Thanks
FamilyRe: Living With Parents After Wedding by jaybeyblu: 6:24am On Jan 05, 2014
When we have misunderstandings and we are trying to resolve it and I tell him; I don't like how you went about this for instance, his response would always be my father said that this or my mother said that , I would ask him please am I dating your parents ? The other day I was showing a close friend of mine our text messages and he was shocked because no text message my man sent to me doesn't start with my mother or my father.. Even if he eventually moves out would he change? And be a little detached because he is a mama's boy to the extreme in this case it is with both parents, or he behaves that way because he simply has stayed there for too long he is so used to them? Because I have lost interest and even if he moves out he can always call them on the phone to discuss our marriage issues with them..that time he promised he would move out, he said even when we do we must spend every weekend in his village and I was like weekends are when you clean up, and spend time with each other and we could go visiting on Sundays after church stay there till evenings and go back home. And All hell was let loose! "That I hate his family that he has agreed to move out but he must spend weekend in his village". Please should I call of the wedding? Because I am exhausted and depressed cry
FamilyRe: Living With Parents After Wedding by jaybeyblu: 6:06am On Jan 05, 2014
I was about to create a thread about this issue till I came across this topic. Because it is a serious one.. I am engaged to be married this year and my fiancé still lives with his parents in his village. It is quite a distance to his work but he prefers to live in their house ( which is not so modern just to please his parents) and as his wife to be,these years of dating him has been a tug of war .and as I am typing this we are at the verge of breaking up because he has bluntly refused to move out of there..NO single privacy; any single thing that happens he would run to mama this is a man in his mid 30's with a good paying job.. This is a house that he was born in, so he is still living there in that same room, it is so small and uncomfortable but he is staying there and his parents back him up. Because of this we are always having serious issues about petty things: you said this about my mother, my mother said this, I don't like the fact that you don't spend enough time with my mom.
It is driving me crazy I am working and he expects me to sit down and fry garri with his mom any little time I visit him in his words;" it would show that I am fully integrated in his family" ... I can't even spend time with him because when I come visiting he would tell me to go and sit with his mother , his parents come first before anything and he is obsessed with them.. I have bought my wedding gown and we have even fixed a wedding date but I don't think I can cope any longer because I am stressed out and loosing my mind because of this family house issue. For 3 yrs of dating him no single misunderstanding that happens between both of us that he wouldn't tell his parents. Living with parents ruin marriages it has ruined a lot and yet people still consider it.. If you want to be happy in marriage please move to your own apartment no matter how small.. The worst part when he finally agreed to move out he kept postponing it and till now he hasn't made a single move, instead he ran to his parents and told them that I am insisting he should move out when his mother came to confront me ,that I want to separate the family I explained to her that it was her son that promised me that prior to our wedding,he would move out. his mother was so bitter, she turned to him and asked if it was true? My man started stuttering that he has tried to stay there and he has to move out, that the space is so small, no electricity, his mom flared up and told him that he should take a break with me . The matter escalated and he promised me he must move out. Afterwards, when the date to move out draws near he would start picking fights with me out of the blues, act like he never even said anything about moving out, and we would just go back to square one. Some times I think he is manipulated diabolically... I really need help!
FamilyRe: What Is Wrong With Men Living With Their Parents After Marriage? by jaybeyblu: 7:59pm On Dec 19, 2013
I had wanted to create a thread for this issue but I searched and found that it was created . I am facing similar issues. I am engaged to be married early next year and my fiance still lives with his parents and has bluntly refused to move out, to make matters worse it is just a 3 bedroom apartment and he is restricted to only a tiny room but he sees it like a palace and is very comfortable there,he even created a small kitchen and toilet inside the room, I can hardly breathe because it is such a small place,very hot tight and uncomfortable, he is a graduate and his salary is very ok he has fleet of cars but wants to stay there and get married, anytime I tell him he shld move out all hell would break loose and he would rush out and tell his parents and they would gang up against me even telling him to break up with me cos I want to seperate them. I even started wondering if his parents use diabolic means to keep him there because it seems his life depends on staying there from his reactions if I tell him to move out. He finally agreed but has been prostponing it and I know that he may want to trick me. This issue has caused me headaches and serious stress and I am thinking of calling off the wedding because I am tired. We are very much in love but I am confused that why would he enjoy staying in his village house very far away from work? He would make comments like every weekend we would come back to the village even when we pack out,and I can pay for the house but still be staying here meaning I would be alone. Smh* I am tired I have battled this for more than 3 yrs and he is not ready I am just feeling bad that I have bought my wedding gown and all our stuffs for the wedding, because I really can't cope with living in that small room. No privacy nothing! He is a complete mama's boy who is in his mid 30's and everything that happens between us he runs to mama to tell her,he is sooooo attached that it is weird, his younger brother advised me to manage because if I eventually succeed in making him move out he knows that many people would fight me, (his bros dosnt live with his parents and they don't control him so they see him as the black sheep of the family) while my fiance who is easily controlled they see him as the best! I am really devastated.

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