₦airaland Forum

oweniwe:
That'll mean a narrative.... I however dunno how u come about humour & education... the two hardly go together.

I'll post samples of another work in d sexuality section soon and alert u.

cheers

Ok. Waiting. Pls look at the samples I posted. Some thing like that is great. Waiting for your posts

Vacancy still open. Pls study the samples carefully and see how educative but fun they are. Before you apply. Remember its a long time deal

oweniwe:
jeel :

u didn't reply my post

Your work is great but its fiction. What we want are humourous educative posts for our American audience. If you can give of such we'll be glad to have a deal with you

Pls you can still apply. Vacancy available

Gloriouspa:
@Jeel
I have sent two samples to your email address few days ago, but yet to receive any response from you.

I've replied you

Pls if you need more we can send it to you. Just be creative. It doesn't have to be list articles like I've posted here.

I posted sample so we can have the best writers who fit such writing apply. Thanks very much!

Menopause Surviving Tips For My Family
Dear Family, I know I'm not myself lately. Sorry (not sorry) because it's all Mother Nature's fault. She is siccing menopause on me and it is barreling down like a freight train. I don't expect you to understand Menopause. But, to gain a little insight, go to Netflix, queue up The Exorcist and Alien, watch them start to finish, memorize the most nightmarish scenes, and that shit is my life every single day. Explains a lot, doesn't it? Apparently, this could go on for years. Years. So if we are riding this out together, you are going to need the following survival tips: 1. If I am standing with my head in the freezer, don't ask me to pull something out for dinner. Unbeknownst to you, Mt. Vesuvius is spewing hot lava in my core at that very moment. The freezer is my last- ditch effort to regain a normal body temperature – even briefly. Moreover, making dinner involves knives. No one wants me wielding a knife during a hot flash. Trust me. 2. I am so freakin' tired. Kids know nothing about the bone- weary suck fest that is adult tired. I lose sleep every night searching for the cool side of my pillow or a breeze from the ceiling fan. If you find me asleep anywhere, any time, leave me alone. Unless I am driving, in which case please nudge me before impact jolts me awake. 3. Don't touch my tweezers. EVER. Tweezers are to menopausal women what tents are to Boy Scouts – essential basic equipment. By the same token, if I am awake and look like I am staring into space, I am most likely obsessing over a chin hair. Only then do you have permission to grab tweezers. STAT. There is a pair conveniently located in nearly every room in the house. Oh, and in the car. 4. If I ask to hold someone's baby, run. Within 5 minutes I will be a weepy, whiny mess. I will blather on about my babies with play-by-plays of their births. I will curse my uterus and the passage of time. A long, uncomfortable silence will follow as the new mother pries the infant from my arms. 5. Just hand over the Clearasil without questions. Adult acne is none of your beeswax. The irony that my insides are drying up as my oily face revisits 1981 is too painful to discuss. Just leave me alone to pick at my pores. 6. My memory lapses are not your ticket to freedom. You can only convince me so many times that I never actually bought an entire pack of Oreos before I figure out you have been polishing them off in one afternoon. I still have flashes of brilliance, and most of that brainpower will be focused on tripping you up. It brings me joy. 7. Treat my requests for a bathroom like you would a toddler who's potty training. My bladder's not big into warnings. We are at Def Con the minute I feel the urge. I will spare you the details of leakage. Damn Kegels. 8. Know that somewhere along the line, I turned into Goldilocks. Nothing is ever "just right." I'm hot. I'm cold. I'm happy. I'm irritated. My mood swings should be a registered weapon. Duck for cover. And the best advice of all? Just go with it. Somehow, millions of women before me have survived this with their families intact. Even you have to ride the hot mess express to get there.

Here Are Some Samples to see the sort of stuff we need.
10 Reasons Why We Won't Have S** Tonight
A little while ago, some assclown made the news for keeping an Excel spreadsheet of his wife's excuses for not having sex with him, and sharing it with the world. I can only imagine that makes her want him that much more. In case my beloved husband is keeping track, I would like to preemptively get my own list out there… 10. I am not clean. I am never clean, it seems, as I am always covered in the food, vomit, or feces of our offspring. I even bathed today! But I started sweating the minute I stepped out of the shower, and now it's been a three tee-shirt day. 9. Remember that fight we had 20 minutes ago about nipples for the baby's bottle, after which you stormed out of the room like a fucking child? I do. 8. Honey, somebody shrunk my libido. Or simply replaced it with bone-crushing fatigue. 7. Let's not and say we did. No one will ever know. We could lie and tell people we can't stop doing it. 6. Maybe bringing in a third party would spice up our sex life? Don't tell me you haven't thought of this. I have. I am thinking: a cleaning lady! She can do the dishes, the laundry, light cleaning, maybe even some cooking. And I can do, well, you know. 5. Sure, we can have sex. Or we could sleep an extra 19 minutes. I know which one I'd– zzzzz. 4. Believe it or not, micromanaging and second-guessing aren't huge turn-ons for me. 3. I've had kids hanging on me all day. I am a human jungle gym. All I want to do is read a magazine (even a novel is too much commitment) and have a big gulp size o' straight vodka. Cheers. 2. Know what gets my motor running? Admitting you were wrong even ONCE in your damn life. 1. Can't stress this enough: I really need to take another shower. I smell like a Sbarro's. Even though we've been married for ten years now, I still find you sexy as hell. Sure, having two toddlers can be a nightmare at times, but we're in this together, and there's no one I would rather be with. Maybe tomorrow night? Until then, I'll see you in my dreams.

Hello writers!

I'm in search for a very good general humour writer on a long-term base.

What you're to write about is women and their issues. It must have some humour and our audience is mainly from United States so imagine how the American humour is like. Payment is good.

The word count is around 350 to 450 words. Pls you must be good at your job and you will have to submit a well written sample on any topic of your choice as regards our niche. If our editors approve it then we agree on number of articles per week and payment style (per article or weekly).

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