₦airaland Forum

Oh God... Bahari's way of paying back to importers (Igbos), this is to our own detriment. Biafra should secede now or neva!!!

Blend Ginger and garlic den mix wit undiluted HONEY.... Ope u get better soon

Lmao,so hilarious ...I believe Seun and co has learnt some lessons

When i decided to worship at Chris
Okotie’s Household of God on
(29/12.2013),i knew i was going to have a
lifetime experience. I have heard so
much about him and his exploit that i was
so eager to visit his sanctuary yesterday.
For those of you who do not know,
Household of God is situated along
Oregun road Ikeja Lagos.
Chris Okotie owns all the land and
buildings on that street .His Church shares
the same fence with Chris Oyakhilome’s
Christ Embassy Headquarters.
Arriving Church was easy.. I made my
way into the Church after the normal
searching at the gate. The first thing that
will hit you, were the bouncers, whose
chest were as huge as bags of cement,
even the devil in his wisdom dare not
make a move near that Church at this
time.
The inside speaks of the taste of the man,
sparkling, well decorated to taste.
Parked outside was not his new Rolls
Royce but another Mercedes Benz
Limousine with customized plate number.
As it is customary, my seat must be
beside a fine babe. Kai, they were not in
short supply at Household. Infact this
Church has the highest concentration of
fine babes that i have ever seen in any
Church.
Chris Okotie must have selected them
himself. The organizers of Most Beautiful
Girl in Nigeria will envy what i saw
yesterday.
Chris Okotie can successfully organize ten
good pageants with what he has in that
Church.He even said ,they accuse him of
marrying fair babes.
See shape,tall,short,dark,fair,half caste
see catwalk, see stepping, see mini skirts,
see fine steps, see clean smooth skins.
See nails,i say come see cloth. Brazillian
hair,no be that type wey all those Lagos
babes dey do under Ikeja bridge.
It was like a competition.
Abeg if you no get designer clothe ,shoes,
bags etc no come Household, because,
dem go think say you be steward or
waitress.
After taking my seat, beside my lovely
damsel,i quickly adjusted my lens and
snap some pictures while people were
settling down.
Within minutes,a very huge guy that will
make Hulk Horgan look like a baby
wrestler walked up to me asking me to
follow him.
My heart sank,wetin i do now..who i
offend,who send me make i come Chris
Okotie’s Church..Na today i go see wetin
my eyes dey find.
I asked my latest catch to kindly look
after my seat while I followed the guy
outside
On getting there,i was shocked by what
the Chief bouncer said..”we know you.
We ve monitored you since you entered
this Church. We don’t allow any camera
work or taking of pictures in this Church
or premises.. Please let me see the
pictures you just snapped ,because our
CCTV camera caught you taking
pictures”..Who wan argue with this kin
person..i opened my folder and showed
him the singular picture on the folder..He
asked me to delete it..which i did..His
next words,”As i said,we like your job and
what you are doing, just relax and have a
nice service with us at Household, God
bless,you can go back in but no more
pictures please”
I was relieved, from that moment, i just
respected Chris Okotie and his security
agents, these guys were not being paid
for nothing.
On resuming my seat,my concentration
now focused on the Service of songs
which was being led by a lady..it lasted
for close to an hour before the man of
the moment finally came in, ushered in
and surrounded by six huge bouncers,the
type that will make Goodluck jonathan’s
guys look like kindergatens.
He made straight for the pulpit.Three of
the bouncers took their positions in front
of the alter, just like you saw in those
pictures that was in circulation last week.
Okotie looks more like a pop star than a
pastor.He has not changed one bit from
what i saw of him about ten years
ago..His jerry curled hair was shinning.He
wore a golden colour Jacket with black
patches over a black trouser. You will
mistake him for one of those Hollywood
actors.
Immediately he picked the mic,he went
into solo songs..Okotie does not have a
choir or back up singers. He is the
Choir,Choir master and chorister all put in
one.His is the only Church i have visited
that does not have a choir.
He was moving from one song to another,
for over one hour he didn’t stop.
I was forced to ask the babe beside me,if
it was a service or Song festival. She didnt
even bother to answer me, all she was
saying was give it to me,give it to me
Pastor,i can feel it ,give it to me as she
sang along..Haaa,give it to you.give you
what i asked..
She took a long look at me and continued
in her frenzy,i say give it to me my
pastor.Oti o.
This is another level,since i didnt want to
be left behind,as Okotie was singing i
joined her in saying,Give it to us,give it to
us pastor,give it to us oooooo.biko give
us,give her,give me too lalalalalala.
The lady suddenly stopped and pinched
my hand .Keep quiet,you are not singing
like someone that is in the spirit she told
me.I asked her what she meant,after all i
just wanted pastor Kris to give it to us
and you are asking me to keep quiet.
Please give it to you us,infact kill us
Pastor i continued
By now she had kept quiet and was
watching me.
The whole church was in a
frenzy,estatic ,singing and dancing.all
dance steps were on display,skelewu
,konkon below,kukere,name it,even apala
dance join.ewooooo
Some were jumping up and down like
people possessed by spirit. Some were
even running from one end of the
auditorium to another.
The beautiful ones that occupied all the
front rows,stood up and were dancing
close to the alter,as if to say Man Of
God,we are still available o.
But Kris Okotie must have been used to it
because, he no even look their side. He
was singing in languages that i never
understood.
I even saw a popular actress among them
After over an hour of singing,Okotie now
prayed for two nations,Nigeria and Israel
(why Isreal,i don’t know) but i heard
those were the two countries he prays
for weekly.
After the prayer which lasted for about
five minutes, he entered gear two,he
kpet on sining,singing,singing and sing.
Haba,which kain Church be this nah,no
wonder all these people are trooping
here,they came to see Okotie perform
every week, definitely not his preaching.
After he must have satisfied himself, he
now settle down to speak on the birth of
Jesus Chris and the three wisemen that
came to visit Joseph and Mary.
It’s was easier to understand Patrick
Obhiagbon and Wole Soyinka than
listening to kris..At a point i i asked the
babe beside me what Kris just said,she
said she didnt know,i then asked
how,how come you were shouting Praise
the Lord.
She told me that i just have to accept
what he is saying with open minds
without questioning.na him i tell am say
ok,i hear.
The average age at the Church was 40
years.
Kris Okotie has die-hard converts who
from all indications are ready to do
anything for him. he is to them,a role
model of a sort.
The babes are well polished. Not the type
you see at most of these orthodox
churches.
Okotie went on to say, Love without
Money is not complete.
According to him, shower a woman with
money and see how she ll cherish you for
life.To him,love is not enough.it must be
backed with money and big time gifts.
According to him,that is why he buys the
latest expensive cards.
When i asked the babe beside me who
don dey already squeeze my hand
whether she believe that, she said
ofcourse,i can’t go out with a guy that
cannot take care of my needs. Who is not
ready to change my car every other year
With that i kuku gradually remove my
hand, before the girl go collect my car key
and i come take leg waka go house.
She asked me if anything was wrong i told
her no, that i was just feeling dizzy and
would need some fresh air outside.
To add to my stress, Chris Okotie now
shared free birthday cakes for people
born in different months of 2014 (yap
2014).
He only shared it among ladies; no single
guy was allowed to pick a cake.
He also conducted quiz among us, he only
allowed women to answer the quiz and
each of them were given cakes and gifts.
Of the over 20 gifts Chris Okotie gave
away today,no single man or guy was
given any.
He said his gifts were ONLY for women.
At that point, i knew i have over stayed
my welcome. I told the babe that i
wanted to go and take some fresh air
outside; from there i disappeared and
drove off.
It’s obvious that Chris Okotie and his
babes still have a lot in common.
If you need fine babes,go to
Household..If you need superlative
Music, Chris Okotie will give you several
doses, but if you need serious preaching, i
doubt if Pastor Chris Okotie will be my
first Church,maybe because of the big big
grammar and effizy.

DonLucky_Osas

Noted!

Don't know where to post this, guess it would be better-off, If the MoDz shud create Holidays/Vacation/Wishes forum or something.....

MTN came to Nigeria at a time
when nobody wanted to invest in Nigeria,
at a time when
Nigerians did not have phones.
Even Zenith Bank refused to loan MTN
cash to operate,
UBA rejected MTN’s offer but today see
the difference. At least we all know the
story of
the only civilian unelected President in
Nigeria - Goodluck Jonathan. We know
how the people said he was not going to
be President; they even made him acting-
President. Today the rest is history.
What about Cowbell? When they came to
Nigeria, they made milk in a sachet, Peak
was laughing at them - they said Cowbell
was
milk for the poor - but they were
right! 3-million poor people could afford
N10 a day for a sachet of milk. Oya, do
the math - 3million people buying milk at
N10.00- that was N30million every single
day. In a month they grossed N900million
(almost N1billion). Even Peak had to
make sachet milk in order to survive in
the market. So what have people told
you? What have they said you
can not do, or you do not qualify for, or
you do not have experience for? They
told Cowbell, they told Goodluck, they
told MTN, but
today the story has changed. I have a
feeling something is changing for you
today! They will change their strategies
just to keep in step with you.
Don’t listen to what people are
saying or what life is showing you… YES,
YOU CAN.
Success is not about where you graduated
from, or what grade you graduated with,
bu what
graduates out of you. Keep the
spirit UP..
BE INSPIRED; You Will Make it By GOD's
grace.... MERRY XMAS in advance...

Carrat

The news fly all around and the hitherto
serene community becomes busy playing
host to people from far and near seeking
miracle healing to their ailments in a
stream that sprang up suddenly.
The physically challenged, the aged,
young, men and women including people
with different kinds of sicknesses throng
the pool in droves, dip themselves naked
in the 3-4feet deep stagnated water,
wash the ailing parts of their bodies
believing they are healed.
Although the testimonies were not forth
coming, the lame, blind still assisted with
mixed feelings, believed that they will be
healed.
‘Pool of Bethesda’
The mysterious pool, called Orimiri
located in a forest about 3km from the
Nachi bus-stop along Onitsha/Enugu old
road, allegedly heals all kinds of ailments
after it was discovered by a Fulani
herdsman recently.
Since the discovery, the community has
become a pilgrimage center with no fewer
than 3000 people thronging the place
daily. From morning till 6pm daily, okada
ply through that narrow and sandy path
carrying passengers and their loads of
jerry cans to the stream.
When Saturday Vanguard visited the
stream, scores of people especially
women were seen naked dipping their
bodies in the already contaminated
stream in the quest for healing. As those
with tumor, sores and injuries wash their
bodies without any reservation, the
physically challenged were being assisted
by their relatives for thorough bath.
Others were busy scooping up water from
different holes dug around the bank into
their plastic containers of various sizes.
The people’s craze for healing was also
seen as they collect sands from the
stream into cellophane bags to their
homes believing even the sands under
the water was as effective as the stream
itself. The trees in the surroundings were
also not spared as people chop trees into
various sizes with a claim that it cures all
kinds of sicknesses.
But none of these miracle seekers at the
stream as at the time of visit could give a
clear testimony of the healing he or she
had received. Most of them who spoke
with us opined that they believe it will
work.
A middle aged woman, who refused to
give her real names who never suspected
she was talking to the press, said: “I just
came here for to exercise my faith. I
have not seen any one though, but I
believe it. I just had a bath in the water
and I believe it. I believe God that I will
be okay.”
But Donatus Ike, who claims he has been
coming to the stream on a daily basis
since the news of the healing power
broke said: “I always come here every
day to work; I guide people in doing
certain things here. The water has
healing power. A lot of people came
from far and near. Not too long ago, Rev.
Mbaka came here, he prayed for people.
The lame will work, the blind will see.
You can see a crutch over there; it was
dropped by somebody who couldn’t
work.”
Amobi Chukwu in his own view said: “I
think it is all about faith. What you call
medicine is medicine for you. I also
believe the water has healing power. The
water is dirty and it was because a lot of
people come here and bath inside the
water and you know this is not a flowing
river. That is why people dig the river
bank to get better water to drink. It is
drinkable.”
But the controversies surrounding the
healing power of the stream, began to
unfold as Rev. Father Chikezie Cypril
a.k.a Okanga Jesus, the Parish Priest, St.
Michael Catholic Church, Oji, Enugu
described those who seek healing from
the stream are spiritual puppets. Cypril
who is also the Chaplain of the Physically
Challenged in the area said, said he has
not heard from any of the physically
challenged in his domain that one person
had been healed from the water. “I
don’t believe it.
I am the chaplain of the physically
challenged and none of them has come to
me to give that testimony of healing; and
this is happening in their area. I mean
not even one person has come to confirm
it. I know that most of them have gone
there and nothing is happening. So, you
see, people tend to confuse you with
certain things. As I am speaking to you,
no member of this community has shared
a testimony about the water.”
Seeking healing at the pool
In the same vein, Chief Ignatius Ene
Chikeluba who claimed he was born in
the farmland gave an insight into the
beginning of the whole parody. He stated
that it was the Fulani herdsmen who
concocted and spread the story of healing
power without any clear evidence.
“Throughout the period I stayed in the
farmland, we have never heard about the
healing power being ascribed to the
water. It is a concoction of the Fulani
herdsmen. I know that revelation from
God can come through any body but my
advice to them is that whatever they are
saying should be the whole truth and
nothing but the truth,” Chikeluba stated.
See more photos here
The traditional ruler of Nachi community,
His Royal Highness, Igwe F. O. Onuigbo,
Obi II of Nachi, in his own submission said
the water has been there for a very long
time, adding that the healing power
ascribed to it was only a recent
phenomenon which he did not confirm.
“River Nachi is natural water which has
been there for a very long time which
people use for their cooking, drinking and
washing. The healing power is something
new and I have not visited the place. But
the water has been there before. People
said it is healing; I can’t stop anybody
from going there to seek cure and
healing. I have no right to do that.”
On the pattern surge, Igwe Onuigbo said
he didn’t know about the coming and
occasional surge of the water. “I do no
know of that”
He confirmed that the land where the
water is situated has been in dispute
between Ameke and Umuaga for a very
long time, adding that efforts are on-
going to resolve the issue between the
two communities amicably.
History of the water
Chief Ignatius Chikeluba, a Chief in
Umuaga-Nachi, who claimed the farm
land belongs to his father, gave historical
perspective of the stream. “According to
my own father, Ogbonnaya Ene Chikeluba,
there was a man called Aniene, a native
of Umuaga, he was the first man who saw
the water. He used to be a farmer in the
area. He came out one morning to
discover the sudden surge of the water.
He ran out to call others that were
farming in the area to witness it. At that
point, the water was named Miri Aniene.
This happened long time before I was
born, it was never known as having
healing powers. We used it to wash
cloths, cassava and other culinary
activities. It used to surge after every
seven years. After the war, it came in
1972, 1979, 1986, 1994, 2000, 2005 and
now 2013. When it comes, it is usually
there until the next raining season. It is
deterred by the rain or sun shine, it
comes at any season of the year. We
have never worshipped the water
before.”
“Before it came this year, there were
Fulani herdsmen who live in that farm;
they always take their cattle there to
drink from the water. So, recently, a
group of people came to my house, I
recognised one of them who had lived
there before, and I asked curiously
whether he wanted to return to the farm
again and he said no. But he said that the
water which used to spring up had sprung
up again and that it has healing power –
curing all kinds of ailments. I told him
that we don’t know about that. He said
they discovered the healing power of the
water the last time it came and they
asked the herdsmen to be monitoring it.
So, the Fulani herdsmen who have been
monitoring it informed immediately it
came out. After a while, another group of
herdsmen came and said the same thing.
But I pointed it out to them that their
cattle had damaged my farm and they
should do something about it and they
moved away from the area. But
surprisingly, after some time, another
group of people came this time, with
some Igbos. I was the one who cleared
the way to the river. I have palm tree in
that place, banana plantation, cola-nut
trees, orange among others. It is a farm
settlement of Umuaga. At this junction, I
want to state that the Nachi people have
been trying to encroach on the land
claiming it belongs to them, but it
belongs to the people of Umuaga. The
water is from God. And whoever says the
water has not been there is trying to pull
the wool over our faces. My house is
there, and the water has been there. The
king who does not know Joseph will not
know Joseph was buried. I was born
there and my father’s house is still there
now. To, me it is the Fulani herdsmen
that are responsible for this
misinformation. Throughout the period I
stayed in the farmland, we have never
heard about the story of healing power
being ascribed to the water. It is a
concoction of the Fulani herdsmen. I
know that the revelation of God can come
through any body but my advice to them
is that whatever they are saying, should
be the whole truth and nothing but the
truth.”
I don’t believe it — Rev Fr Chikezie Cypril
a.k.a Okanga Jesus
Rev Father Chikezie Cypril a.k.a Okanga
Jesus is the Parish Priest, St. Michael
Catholic Church, Oji, Enugu and also the
Chaplain of the Care for the Physically
Challenged in the area. He spoke to
Saturday Vanguard on the healing power
of Pool of Bethesda.
The mystery river that is said to be
healing is happening in your parish, what
can you say about it?
I am privileged that this is taking place in
my parish, but unfortunately, I have not
gone there to see what is happening
there, but I have seen a lot of people
going there for healing. For the fact that I
have not been there does not mean I
wouldn’t know whether what is going on
there is good or bad. My opinion is that it
is better to seek God than seeking the
blessing of God. This is because if you
seek God, the blessing of God will come
your way. If you seek the face of God, you
will get the hand of God. Unfortunately
people think that God is not alive to their
problem. Most people who go there are
those who have little or no time for the
word of God and they spend a lot of time
there waiting for their turn. If only they
can spend their time for God, healing will
come their way. That is why I will not find
the time to go there because there is
nothing better than seeking God.
But we heard that Rev. Mbaka was there
and he prayed at the river?
Maybe he went there to know what is
happening, but also remember that
Mbaka is not God. It does not matter
whether the Bishop or the Pope was
there or not, what matters is that people
should seek God. What about those who
don’t have the opportunity to go there,
do you mean they will not be healed? I
see it as a kind of madness when people
go there and take bath while they also
take the same water and drink.
But one funny thing about it is that, I
don’t believe it. I am the chaplain of the
physically challenged and none of them
has come to me that they are healed and
this is happening in their area. I mean
not even one person has come to confirm
it. I know that most of them have gone
there and nothing is happening. So, you
see, people tend to confuse you with
certain things. As I am speaking to you,
no member of this my community has
come to me to share a testimony about
the water. I know if it is real as people
tend to portray it, one or two persons in
the community must have been noticed
and if we see it, we will be the promoter.
You see, one has to be very sensible
about it; a lot of people are making
money on this situation. For example, if
you tell the Okada riders who are making
money from the situation that it is not
real, they will say you don’t know what
you are talking about. But let us trust
God, power belongs to God. It is when
we commune with God that we see the
power of God in our lives. I see those
who go there as spiritual puppets.

This Pastor(man of God) got me thinking shaa....

Founder of “As The Lord Said, It Should
Be Done Temple” Blessed Oguguamakwa
Dikeh has declared that Christians should
forget about the second coming of Jesus
Christ (rapture), saying that it would
never come to pass.
The cleric recently came under heavy
criticism by Nigerians over his strange
biblical beliefs and the purported serving
of alcohol in his church.
The controversial cleric in an Interview
with Daily Independent asserted that,
“There is nothing like rapture. If you tell
me that rapture means when a person
dies, his soul goes back to God and his
flesh to the dust, then I will agree, but
anything other than that, I don’t agree.
Don’t let anybody deceive you.
He also argued that there’s no hell fire
after death.
He voiced his conviction
thus, “There is nothing
like hell fire after life.
Heaven is here on earth
already. When you are
suffering, you are in hell
fire. If you are in poverty
and cannot pay your
house rent then you are
already in hell. But when
you are in heaven, even if
you reside in a flat, your
landlord will come and
beg you for money. He
would even say don’t
worry, I will give the
other tenant quit notice
for you.”
Speaking further, the
preacher said he doesn’t
pray with the name of
Jesus, saying that Jesus
was also a servant like
him.
Hear him, “I pray in the
name of God, because my
father, Adam, did not
pray in Jesus’ name. Jesus
is a servant like me. He
has finished his
assignment and has gone.
I am a servant too. When
I finish my work, I will go.
Jesus has done a good
job, but I have problem
with people who are giving him the
honour that is not due him. If you say
Jesus is the saviour of the whole world,
who then is God?”
newsdesk@dailypost.com.ng

I love dis car,hw much?

1st ola: Where da fuckkk is the Angel?

Pls rush to the nearest eye clinic

The photo below has since generated a
buzz since it found its’ way to the
blogosphere yesterday.
According to reports, the Perfected Praise
Singers, a popular gospel band in Lagos,
were leading a worship session at
R.C.C.G Ebute Metta in Lagos when the
‘angel’ was spotted.
Some kids were snapping
pictures of them with
their Ipad (4 – 10years
Old Children) only for one of them to get
home and discover an ‘Angel’ was there
with them at the church.Many claim that
the photo was probably photo-shopped
but many more others insist the photo
wasn’t photo shopped and that the story
can be verified from the church.
What do you think?
source: Daily Star..@dailystarngnews

Guys listen, as long as u have some mb
in ur A10, u gat no problem. Make sure
u dnt finish it or allow it to expire,just
kip on subscribing dey can never move
ur A10 to A9.... Njoy frnz! Best cca

Guys listen, as long as u have some mb in ur A10, u gat no problem. Make sure u dnt finish it or allow it to expire,just kip on subscribing dey can never move ur A10 to A9.... Njoy frnz Best CC in town

Dey are dropping one by one, while biafrian soldiers prepare for disintegration... I still dey observe.

IMO Moses shared Mikel's vote

I got a msg from MTN and it says... 08064194414, you will shortly receive a surprise... it was around 8:23 am buh up till now nothing. Heads up dude, these guys are fraud, nothing good comes from dem.

Noted!!!

.

Come rain come shine, APC will forever remain losers in SE

Elombah Perspective:

"Mrs Njideka Nwaigwe who spoke to us at
Aroma junction late sunday evening
recounted how she was getting ready to go
to church when her neighbour called her
that the bus has come to take them to
Awka for protest rally. She was told that
each individual willing to go will receive
5000 Naira cash and APC party uniform.
She hurriedly took off her church clothes
and rushed to the venue and they were
taken to Awka. Inside the bus, they were
educated on what to do by one man who
kept on talking all through the drive from
Ezinifite to Aroma. He kept on telling them
to roll on the floor and shout and cry, to
rain abuses on Jega and INEC and Peter
Obi. He said that they will be watching for
who performed the best as the person will
get extra 2000 Naira. This was what
brought her to Awka.
Now, they were paid 2000 Naira on
reaching Awka instead of 5000 Naira and
most of them did not have the vehicle to
go back to their various towns."

Elombah

h..o..r..e..s,ofe nmanu gurls!

U dey complain say Governors no do anytin 4 8years, but u don date girl 4 9yrs wich is more dan 2 tenure witout marrying her.U r very wicked"

;DU dey complain say Governors no do anytin
4 8years, but u don date girl 4 9yrs wich is
more dan 2 tenure witout marrying her.U r
very wicked"

Today marks a significant day in my lyf, the day I brought joy,Love and happiness to my family, most esp my Dad, as his *Okpala*(Smiles) and my Mum as well.... It ws a blessing and a blissful day for the Ofojebes' on the 3rd of October, some years ago; wen a wndrful, unique, brilliant and special bby-boi ws born unto dem(chuckles).... May the gud Lord in his infinite mercies continue to guide, protect and bless me for dem as i plus1 today IJN.... Amen!!! Thank You JESUS!

He who humbles himself shall be exalted...

OMG!!! This is the height of it, Ooh i wish dos hackers cn locate NL and end this madness.... <<<Blood boiling>>>

Its for matured minds

Amaechi convoy has been attacked at omagwa airport by some hoodlums, his personal car damaged. Happening right now,someone pls confirm