₦airaland Forum

@ronkebp

Well, its a matter entirely for you how you choose to handle a cheating husband.Nobody has the right to preach to you or judge you.

My view is that I will not approach such a situation in the same manner but again that's me. I think if I still loved my husband and I slept with any man in retaliation, it will most definitely kill any love and the only way for the marriage from there on is down because ultimately, we know that we are the heart of the home and we keep things together despite any challenges we face.Once a woman's heart leaves the marriage/home,(and it takes alot for that to happen) there is no going back.

@Plutarch
I do not buy that theory that men are naturally polygamous. We, human beings are the ones that have, over the course of time(going back centuries) consoled ourselves with that thought and made the excuses for the men. Self fulfilling prophesy I say. Just because Solomon had 100 wives/concubines, that means that is how men are or should be. We condone it and make these silly excuses for it and that is why it has become the "norm" by default, Total BS!!!!!

I agree with Michelin89 to a large extent.

Firstly, majority of women are not biologically engineered to be frivolous. We are more emotional and will rarely just sleep with a guy just for the fun of it(I do appreciate that there are exceptions of course).

I have noticed especially on this forum that when we complain about men cheating, it is usually the female posts that will advise the woman to do everything she can to keep pleasing her man;wear nice clothes, cook even more, listen to him more blah , blah blah. I ask, are they babies? There are many women, who can hold their own financially, take care of their husband(in all aspects) and their home, never let themselves go, and are respectful and submissive,YET their husbands cheat regularly and neglect them in every way imaginable. Now these women are also human and have needs that need to be met. After coming back from work, doing the chores, homework and putting the kids to bed, She deserves to have a husband she can share how her day has been, feel emotionally close to and wanted as a WOMAN. If the husband is out as usual chasing everything in skirt, the woman is more likely to respond to the odd compliment from a male colleague/friend or neighbour(This is normally where it starts for most (normal) women).

Don't get me wrong, I do not condone cheating at all, infact I think it really eats away at the marriage and staying together for any other reason(even the kids) becomes a farce and sends the wrong message to your children. Staying together for the sake of the children is exactly what breeds the kind of mentality to cheating (it is not a big deal, its okay for a man to do it just face your children etc)most of us have now.

I think it is pretty wrong for people to come here and judge without considering certain factors.

I am lucky to have a close network of professional, responsible and respectful women as friends and if I hear that any one of them had an affair, then it is less likely to be just for the thrill of it, something much more serious has led them to it and I will no way condemn them for it.Don't get me wrong, I will not encourage them either but I will not look down on them like some scum of the earth cos they are not.If am man does it, he is a lad,however if a woman does it, she is a slut. It is a man's world and all but WE hurt to.

We women have to learn to stick up for each other, support each other and be truthful to each other. We are our own enemy, it is us that will condone cheating by a man and put it down to "men will be men" yet vilify our fellow women who do the same thing.Then in another breath fighting tooth and nail for equality with men in our jobs, pay, pension rights, etcccc.

Once again, I appreciate that there are women, who are just plain old nymphs and no amount of love etc will stop them from opening their legs but majority of women take their vows very seriously and deserve to be loved and cherished as a WOMAN.

That phrase "what is good for the goose is good for the gander" in this context in my view, smacks of a revenge affair and its childish. This means it was planned, premeditated and done to deliberately get back at your husband. I am not really in support of that as if you do something like that, the only person that gets really hurt is yourself cos how low/dirty will you feel afterwards?.Any affair on her part will definitely make a (good)woman feel low about herself anyway but imagine the guilt if it was a revenge shag.

Women lets change our attitude and tolerance to men cheating in the first place, until such time, lets not blindly condemn women who do.

I think the media reports on the London rioters has been fair. I watched ITV news one day and most of the rioters referred to and indeed featured were whites. No particular, race or nationality appears to have been singled out to warrant a racist row.

Obviously different country forums will highlight the rioters from their neck of the woods.

I have no doubt that Nigerians will have been represented among the rioters.It's just one of those things. Lets not make it into an "attack against Nigerians" issue.

okunoba:
@coogar, U way off the mark, kids raised in England that come from good homes are better behaved than kids raised in Nigeria. The badly behaved kids usually come from bad homes where there is an absence of good parenting. The violent ones usually come from a very abusive and violent homes, the sort that u seem to be glorifying. Nigerians are not only badly behaved in Nigeria, they are known all over the World for bad behavior. I met some girls few months ago from The Czech Republic who were telling me of the bad reputation Nigerians have in that country, the same story of Nigerians behaving badly in America, England, South Africa, Italy and so many countries around the World. Do u ever hear of Scandinavians behaving badly anywhere in the World? They are usually kind, respectful, disciplined and trustworthy, these are virtues that are lacking in most Nigerians, with all the spanking and beatings we get when growing up.
I am lucky to have lived in three different continents and from my experience, it`s always we blacks that believe in this culture of violence in raising kids that are always badly behaved and violent. Lets for once try and think outside the box, our culture isn`t always right, just because that's the way we were raised and its all we know.
Violence breeds violence.

Unfortunately Okunoba, I am going to have to agree with Coogar on this one(Coogar and I have had our fair share of differences ).

The First stand point I will quote again is from the bible"spare the rod and spoil the child". There is absolutely northing wrong with smacking your kids, it is called discipline and I for one spank my boys. I explain the reason why I do not want them to do something, we have a good dialogue about it and if they do it, I still remind them of our conversation and give them a warning. If they persist, then smack. Tears follow then silence for a while and we still have a cuddle later where I again explain why I smacked them.

Now, this is disciple and it is instilling in them that there are consequences for every action. My parents smacked me and in particular my dad used koboko regularly but not for once did I hate my parents and as I grew up, I learned to think before doing something and consider the likely consequences of my actions. Although I still believe my dad's method was too extreme and will definitely not go down that route with my boys but I am still alive and love my dad to bits.

There is a very thin line between discipline and abuse and parents have to be careful not to cross it. In the UK, there are various reports of cigarettes stubs being burned on children's skin, sleeping in the bath tub etc-THIS IS ABUSE not discipline.Pure Evil.

African children have far more respect and fear of reprisals in Africa than in the UK or America where they know that the consequences are likely to be naughty corner, grounded and for the more serious offences, youth custody where you have an array of Nintendo games, pool tables and SKY TV at your disposal.

In Africa, the government, school, neighbour and parents all work together so the child knows NOBODY ANYWHERE will put up with errant nonsense, over here there are too many red tapes stopping parents from being in full control. A child will know that if his parents smack him, he can go to school/police/social worker and the parent will be told off.

I accept that there are some children that may not require smacking and have turned out well but you will find that these are the ones that listen to their parents firsthand and have a low pain tolerance(Got that first hand from a few friends) to avoid a smacking.

These riots are clearly evidence of what the UK has bred with its softly softly approach to parenting a child.I appreciate that there are some bad parents with appalling parental skills but being in the UK certainly doesn't help.Parents need to have that option if all else fails.

I once witnessed an event involving the police and a young Nigerian black boy. The police was talking to the boy about an incident he was involved in and the boy kept talking back, telling the police to Shut the eff up, ra ra ra. Nigerian mum arrives and starts yelling at the boy in Yoruba and proceeds to rain slaps on him in front of the police man and the boy's countenance changed-gone was the cockiness, sharp mouth and bad boy swagger. I was quietly pleased. The (white) policeman turns to me and whispers "now that's what I 'm talking about". Question is would that boy try it with the Nigerian police

You cannot even speak to a youth misbehaving on a bus without abuses and even beats being showered on you. That would definitely not happen in Nigeria.

Discipline is different to Violence. Teach your child so he can give you rest.

coogar:
how many Nigerian kids raised in Nigeria have u seen with this bad behaviour you keep harping about? majority of them took several punishments both at home and from their teachers/seniors in school. it's discipline. you know if you step out of line, you would get caned. as compared to England where a girl of 13 can bring her boyfriend home for the night and screw each other. the parents have no right to enter her room, they can only bark outside. . . .is that how you want to raise your wards? not me! 25 yr-old females dare not keep a boyfriend overnight with the parents in the house cos they know they are going to get baptism of fire - that respect has been instilled in them by several years of constant caning and military punishments.


most of this reputation is linked to what i said earlier: abject poverty.
you need to ask yourself why Nigerians are in this country hustling in the first place. poverty drove them out of Nigeria. if we have an effective social security in Nigeria - Nigerians in the countries you have mentioned would be on vacation as law abiding visitors.


the Norwegian gunman who slaughtered about 100 people of his countrymen is Nigerian by birth?
ok scratch that, it was a one off. . . . .

why not imagine the chaotic situation in nigeria in scandinavia countries and see if they won't be cannibals eating people alive on the streets.

america and united kingdom have more serial killers and intimate deviants than the whole of africa.
half of them weren't raised in this culture of violence in raising kids and they still turned mass murderers. you won't get far with this theory of yours.
your holy book said: spare the rod, spoil the child!!!

Well said Coogar!


Discipline doesn't beget disrespect or violence, lack of discipline certainly does.

Osama10:
Sick , masked hoodie and car on fire in Hackney

Sick ,  masked hoodie and car on fire in Hackney


This picture clearly depicts what the UK has breeded. Youths with no fear and no respect. (oops, sorry cant paste the pics)

Sagamite:
You are going to jail for going to steal what costs £1, further still being too dumb to cover your face and worse still you are stealing some shyt (crisps) that is bad for your obese self.

What a fcking reetard!

www.nairaland.com/attachments/498773_poundland_1357101a_jpgb60130eaf919f323dc3ddfcaf5298247

WORD!!!!!!!

toyemz:
London rioting

not funny
baseless and senseless

they need to put an end to it

it is so escalating out of hand

very soon transportation will come to a halt if it continues

i had a hell of a time coming home from work

so not in support of it


hang on
just saw a picture of guys looting weaves and wigs shops in lewisham and peckham

na wa oh!

saw that too and thought "GENIUS"-am due to do my hair this weekend o lol

Seriously, this is so SAD.

Never mind the details of the true circumstances surrounding the shooting of Mark Duggan by the Police,what happened afterwards is just pure mindless and senseless thuggery.

more pics.

wimpy got it too.

more pics

more pics

morning after the night before, Woolwich!

more pics

woolwich, the morning after

I know, Nigeria embassy UK is very good at changing the goal post whenever they feel like.

lol. no point opening another thread unless you do not get any post that deal with your particular question soon.

Shame as if this was a few months ago when I was working at the strand(Charing cross), I would taken a stroll at lunchtime and find out for you but I work at London Bridge now, -miss covent garden and the shops).

Anyways, back to the topic, hope you get a more helpful post from NL's.

enuose:
Pls house i need some advice, I applied for uk visit visa on 4th of July and i was refused today,stating that they can't find my Flight ticket in the document i submitted. That was why my visa į̸̸̨§ not granted,but when i looked into the document i submitted the flight ticket į̸̸̨§ inside it,
Now i was adviced to re-address the embassy,(that means look into it )
My questions are,
Į̸̸̨§ there anything like that?
Can this be a reason for my refusal?
If yes abt the re-address pls tell me more abt it and how long it takes?will i need to do the biometric again?
And i have 850k in my acct,į̸̸̨§ that not enough fund for it ?

Pls all members of this forum i really need your helps plssssssssssss

If that was really the reason given on the refusal letter and you are certain that the flight ticket was included in the documents submitted then you should write to the Senior Entry Clerance Officer (SECO)asking for a review. If the SECO reviews and feels that there was an oversight on the part of the original Entry clearance officer who did not look properly, he may overturn the decision and grant you the visa(as long as everything else checks out).

You will not normally be required to do the biometric again for a review request and it really should not take more than 1 week max to hear back. They have however, been known to not reply quickly so you will need to bear this in mind if u want to appeal within the time limit.

But if it transpires that for some strange reason the filght ticket was not included in original application, then the refusal was reasonable and correct and you will have to re-apply(paying the fee again, making sure there are enough funds in your account and resubmitting all required documents)

Hope this helps abit.

@okada-bwoy, as far as I was aware making a visa application did not require an appointment. All you had to do was make sure you have all the necessary documents and payment by postal order, go to the Embassy on the days and times they are opened, grab a ticket and wait for your number to be called for submission.

As Sienna has rightly stated, if your name consists of a Nigerian name, then you will not be required to provide an invitation letter. When I visited in 2009 and my sister made her visa application December 2010, invitation letter was not required due to us having a Nigerian surname.

HOWEVER, that appears to have now been changed(still unclear for me sha). Check out this link to their website:

http://www.nigeriahc.org.uk/visa-requirements

Also note this quote from the link:

Visa types and Requirements
ALL VISA APPLICATIONS AND PAYMENTS ARE NOW MADE THROUGH THE NIGERIA IMMIGRATION WEBSITE, IF YOU SATISFY THE REQUIREMENTS RELATING TO YOUR VISA AS STATED BELOW, then, Click here to proceed.

It may well be that the invitation letter exemption remains the same but once again the website is not very clear on that. There is a phone number in that link that you can call(good luck though with firstly, getting someone to pick it up and secondly, getting a straight answer )

It will be better if any NL's who have recently made a visa application are able to shed some light on this.

TIP:Once you get your visa and go to Naija, get your naija pali done as you will no longer require a visa to go to your "motherland".

Sorry I have not been reviewing my previous posts(don't receive notifications anymore).
@Tellme, any updates?

coogar:
that's the logical explanation in most cases unless you are bimbo's husband in nigeria and you know more than we do.

ohhh, tape it shut you scallywag. and you are what is right with nigeria? you are a disgrace to the green passport!

it's not relevant to the issue because husband and wife had history before they got married. it's like asking why your gcse certificate does not have your husband's name on it? i mean, who would dare ask such a question!!! blimey, give ukba some credits. . . . if you think they have not done the proper checks to convict this woman, then you must be smoking woolies.

ukba will find out a visitor with an outstanding bill if/when the nhs decide to shop that visitor. not the other way round. this is why it's called data protection. the ukba cannot force it out from nhs unless the issue of life/death or bomb terror is involved. grab a book and read up the act.
never ever fought a lost case. . . .what i have seen here is enough barks to bring barbarians to shame without biting. . . . .i have not seen any credible fact that suggests bimbo deliberately tried to play the system. granted, there's a loophole in the system and i know people will always try to take advantage of it. . . . .on the other hand, i also believe innocent people do find themselves in such cases and the previous history of people who have tried to play the system should not be used to pass judgement. each case should be treated individually - that is what justice is all about.

Trust me, forget data protection, govt agencies SHARE information. take it from someone who knows this first hand.

Stop ranting Coogar, your arguments hold no credibility whatsoever.

justwise:
Don't waste your time trying to explain things to coogar he wouldn't get it. I'm not supporting what Bimbo did, i'm only happy that the kids are well and health. Pple like coogar is everything that is wrong with Nigeria.

claremont:
Spot on!

Abi o. Coogar is just fighting a lost cause. I agree with you Justwise and I am happy she and her children are doing well but how Bimbo went about it is wrong and may have made things worse for future applicants. Anything that is worth doing is worth doing well.

coogar:
if the question is not relevant and doesn't apply to the issue then you don't need to use your brainpower to work it out. . . .this is also a no brainer.

this is the loophole in the system. ukba says the patient should pay but this is what the nhs say. . . .

If you think that you will be charged for medical treatment, but can’t afford to pay, then you should still talk to a hospital administrator as they may be able to help you. [b]The NHS is supposed to treat its patients in confidence, so even if you’re not living in the UK legally, your details should not be passed on.[/b]

by the time you combine data protection with the human right act, you will now see why ukba must insist on every visitor coming to the uk should have a verifiable health insurance scheme. the ukba should refer applicants to their own trusted insurance companies in nigeria to avoid any fraudulent or malpractices of forgers.

Horseshit! the govt agencies share information, how else does UKBA find out that a visitor has an outstanding NHS bill?don't be fooled by that please.

coogar:
if the question is not relevant and doesn't apply to the issue then you don't need to use your brainpower to work it out. . . .this is also a no brainer.
this is the loophole in the system. ukba says the patient should pay but this is what the nhs say. . . .

If you think that you will be charged for medical treatment, but can’t afford to pay, then you should still talk to a hospital administrator as they may be able to help you. The NHS is supposed to treat its patients in confidence, so even if you’re not living in the UK legally, your details should not be passed on.

by the time you combine data protection with the human right act, you will now see why ukba must insist on every visitor coming to the uk should have a verifiable health insurance scheme. the ukba should refer applicants to their own trusted insurance companies in nigeria to avoid any fraudulent or malpractices of forgers.

Your selective analysis beggars belief. The question of why she is not using the same name as her husband is very much relevant to the issue of whether her story as a whole lacks credibility.
Not relevant, not applicable is a tad different to "no brainer"(obvious, glaring)  my dear!

Another quote from UKBA website

"How do I come to the United Kingdom for private medical treatment?
Private medical treatment

This page explains how to come to the United Kingdom for private medical treatment.

To come to the United Kingdom for medical treatment you must be able to show that:

you meet the requirements for leave to enter as a visitor;
if suffering from a communicable disease there is no danger to public health;
your course of treatment is for a limited period of time;
you have made satisfactory arrangements for the consultation or treatment you need;
you have enough money to pay for any treatment and to support and accommodate yourself without working or help from public funds; and
you plan to leave the United Kingdom at the end of your treatment.
For further information on your rights and responsibilities see the rights and responsibilities section."

If Bimbo had the baby prematurely at 32 weeks in June, she must have known she was pregnant when she applied for the visitor's visa. Why did she not apply for Private medical treatment visa? I tell you why, she would have had to register with a private healthcare provider in the UK to get the necessary letters to satisfy the ECO, this means having to shell out more money. Pure and simple, she knew what she was doing and planned to get free medical treatment on the NHS.

coogar:
it means the question isn't even relevant in this case.
let's assume you have a passport you travel with as we speak, and your wife has one she has been travelling with before you met. . . . .would the 2 passports share the same name?

Wrong again!, "no brainer " means you don't need to use your brain power to work it out. easy and obvious answer.

Which is clearly not the case here!

coogar:
then you need to re-educate yourself. the public funds they are referring to are basically:

income-based jobseeker's allowance;
income support;
child tax credit;
working tax credit;
a social fund payment;
child benefit;
housing benefit;
council tax benefit;
state pension credit;
attendance allowance;
severe disablement allowance;
carer's allowance;
disability living allowance;
an allocation of local authority housing;
local authority homelessness assistance
income-related employment and support allowance.

as you can see, there's nowhere on the list that says if a car runs through an illegal immigrant or a visitor, the nhs should not treat him/her. public health is free in the united kingdom. emergency and complex cases like bimbo's should have been dealt with by letting visitors come in with health insurance schemes. the ukba failed to do that in nigeria so whose fault? an insurance company should be paying that £200k, had the ukba done their homework.

so who pays for a & e/walk-in centre victims that the nhs treat for free?

see quote direct from UKBA website:

"Do visitors qualify for medical treatment from the National Health Service?
Rights and responsibilities

This page explains whether you are entitled to free medical treatment from the National Health Service (NHS) while you are visiting the United Kingdom.

Visitors are not allowed to enter or stay in the United Kingdom to receive free medical treatment from the NHS. Except for treatment given in a hospital's accident and emergency department, you will be charged for any treatment you receive. You should ensure that you have enough medical insurance to cover your stay.

You can find more information on the Department of Health website."

I also refer you to the link below to improve your knowledge of the subject area.Its called the National health service not the International health service.Contrary to your assertion IT IS NOT FREE TO VISITORS,EVEN IN AN EMERGENCY,YOU WILL BE TREATED BUT HAVE TO PAY UP AFTERWARDS!

http://www.dh.gov.uk/en/Healthcare/Entitlementsandcharges/OverseasVisitors/Browsable/DH_074379

coogar:
weak and disgraceful? what is weak and what is disgraceful? educating you schlepps that nhs is not part of recourse to public funds is weak/disgraceful? you cowards should hang your heads in shame.

Just to educate you correctly Coogar, NHS is mainted by the public purse hence accessing it is dipping into public funds, no recourse to public funds means exactly that. Pay your way!

If it wasn't, UKBA will not be asking people to pay up their medical bills before even allowing them back into the country. UKBA do not ask if visitors owe a UK bank or credit card company money do they? cos that is private sector funds and they(the banks etc) will need to ensure that you are good for any loan before granting it to you-They are not even likely to grant a loan to non UK residents!

coogar:
weak and disgraceful? what is weak and what is disgraceful? educating you schlepps that nhs is not part of recourse to public funds is weak/disgraceful? you cowards should hang your heads in shame.

Association of Fraud supporters hang your heads in shame and Fraudsters go back to the gutter where you belong

claremont:
Quite the opposite if you ask me!

second that Claremont.

Coogar has just been giving weak and disgraceful explanations/justifications for Bimbo's fraudulent actions.

Defense Counsel Coogar Davidson, you will certainly give Johnnie Cochran a run for his money

coogar:
lord of mercy. . . .

your name is miss j-jm. you got your international passport before you married mr coogar davidson.
do you sincerely think the name on your passport will automatically change into mrs j. davidson? i mean, is this so difficult to understand?

OMG! Is that the only possible logical explanation for the disparity? May be I just want to remain Ms j-jm on a professional level after marrying Mr coogar davidson, or maybe not Maybe I have a crafty little plan called Fraud up my sleeve hence the need not to change my name to Mrs J Davidson, or may be not

It is understable that since you are her number 1 supporter, you will profer such explanations and insult people by saying its a "no brainer". Could it possibly be that Bimbo A is not her real name(believe it or not people get passports in other names especially where(pre fingerprinting) they have ruined their previous good record by overstaying.

Seriously Coogar! your blind and ferocious arguments in Bimbo's favour is hysterical, a joke!