₦airaland Forum

They're true friends....they won't ask yhu for sex or something....and they're trust worthy...

My eyes ...

Rapmoney:
Recently, I was having a discussion with a younger colleague who confided in me about some relationship issues he has been having with his girlfriend of 4 years.

They young man was of the opinion that his girlfriend has been cheating on him. According to him, she receives long and suspicious calls from 'male admirers' and this gives him worries that she could fall for any of them anytime soon. He had accosted her several times about this act and it had always ended with the response that they are 'mere admirers' and this has led to numerous quarrels between them. Some even turned physical!!!

First, I tried as much as possible to be very objective and logical. I really did not want to be biased despite the work relationship we share. As a realist, I would always state the truth even if it comes out bitter like the gall of a chicken.

From what he told me, he has been dating the girl for 4 years. I asked him if he had made any concrete plan towards tying the knot with her and his response was a negative one. After 4 years, you still dey calculate, dey estimate and approximate whether na she go be your wife or not. Ogbeni, which level you sef dey operate on? I made him to understand that problems are either caused by commission or omission. In his case, the inability or reluctance (omission) to define the relationship and attach a final destination to it through concrete visible plans is the remote cause of the problems.

Women are like flowers; they blossom today and wither away soonest when they are not plucked. You cannot date a lady for years without any concrete plans of marrying her and still turn around and accuse her of cheating on you. What would you expect her to do? If she pressures you to do the needful, you will still be the one who will quickly see her as someone trying to chain you down with marriage.

We should accept truths, no matter how painful they are. I am not in support of cheating in relationships but you do not have any right as a man, be it customary, legal or religious to demand faithfulness from a lady if you are not formally engaged to her. If the finance to coordinate a family is absent and she understands that, two of you can put heads together to see how to reach a compromise. If she is not in, then leave her and let her find her way. Don't leave her on the fence. Work harder and smarter and create a life for yourself.

Marriage is not for boys and girls. Nor be bobo and cheeseballs business. You might make her miss eligible suitors. You should not be the one to be blamed if things later go south for her.

If your inability to tie the knot stems from the fact that you are still young and want to enjoy your life, then you have no business with committed relationships. Get yourself a fvckmate on contract basis to satisfy your sexual urge. E nor dey expensive. If your inability stems from the fact that you are still watching to know whether she is the one or not after couple of years, you are not a serious fellow! Na spectator you be? Let her go. Don't be an obstacle to her marital prospects. You have no authority backed by law or custom to go haywire if you suspect she is cheating on you. My brother, her papa and mama nor know you. Na who bring drinks and kolanut come deh know. Nor be fight.

The socio-economic system witnessed by our parents is far different from what is obtainable today. Things are really not smooth for many young people. Na the one you know you sabi.

This ugly situation has made it difficult for many young ladies to meet eligible suitors. Gone are the days when people date for 7years, 8 years and 10 years. Making your girlfriend commit to only you for couple of years without her seeing any good plan of a future together with you is as bad as evil.

Time waits for nobody. If e no gree you do, ogbeni leave am. Somebody dey for everybody.

How can I like this a million times?

Just2endowed2:
Not in Nairaland

I said "right places"

BigJoe19:
If this story is true, I know it can never be from the active and popular female nairalanders, because the comments we see from active female nairalanders is nothing but disappointment.

Yhu could have easily made yhur point without quoting me...

iamosmania:
To be sincere
You fine?

I'm a goddess

pryme:
"And I find something more bitter than death:
the woman whose heart is snares and nets"

"Nevertheless, in the lord woman is not independent of man nor man from woman...for as woman was man from man...so man is now born of woman..and all things are from God"

pryme:
Better to live in a Wilderness than stay with a contentious woman.


We could use more than a cent from you.

"It is not good for a man to be alone ...I will make him a helper comparable to him"

Nice piece

I totally agree with the op...the church is playing a very huge role...
Some churches are no longer preaching about sin and salvation...
But only about materialistic things...

It is well o

zexy2030:
How was your night.

Cold...

Pls let's not derail op's thread...

zexy2030:
Hey you, I like you

.


Good morning....thanks i guess

[quote author=MJBOLT post=85514448][/quote]Must yhu be in my mentions every day


It's too early pls..

[quote author=victorlake post=85514082][/quote]Oh i get now....

If that's the case i think she found some one that's promising her marriage....that might be the reason why she's sprewing trash...

Just talk to her ...and explain everything to her...if she's still adamant..then my brother yhu just dodged a bullet... avoid her and move on..

God will surprise yhu...

DNSPro:
I learned o. It was a painful experience. The girl is pretty, intelligent cos she often discusses politics here on nairaland and a go getter.

During those days, I used to speak tough on nairaland but she experienced the opposite off-line when I decided to open up to her. She saw a soft romantic dude with heart that cared, and not one that hated women.

The guy she was dating quickly married her within a year lol. So that door is completely closed.

She still gives me hope even though I have not met one that is close to what she had since then.

An average Nigerian girl is selfish and self centered and they do not hide it, but my faith lies in the fact that a few are good after my encounter with this girl...

Eyah ...

Keep searching at the right places... I'm sure yhull find someone even better..

He who finds a wife... finds a good thing and obtaineth favour from the lord...


My one cent....

Someone pls summarize for me....I can't read all that..

Y'all should try and be less selfish in yhur decisions...

Yhu skillfully excluded the years she's been together with yhu. ....how old is she?....

I'm sure yhu gave her signal that say yhure not serious with her...

Women do not have time to waste...try and understand

Where the breasts biko?....Next

Nurse yhur wounds oga...

Yhu are the cause of yhur problem....

Where are those bitter nairaland guys....y'all should come and see this...
Yhur bitterness will land y'all in a tunnel y'all will regret one day..

Op do not lose all hope...if she's truly meant for yhu...y'all will be together las las... I'm glad yhu learnt yhur lesson the hard way..

Using a condom would have prevented many riftraffs here from typing hogwash...

Ladies be wise...if he doesn't want to use protection... that's a major red flag

nlPoster:
shut up.

I really dislike engaging in any form of discussion with most of these depraved posters here because your minds are just bent.

Imagine a discussion about sex and someone combines the mention of child molesters and rape immediately, coupled with the crap you just typed, that shows you are sick in your head and you assume everyone is as sick as you are.

Dont quote me again.


They can argue for hours in support of any depravity or miscreance and are totally against anything not evil, you need help. Very irascible and antisocial elements.

This one get mental problem...
God gave yhu brains...why not use it for once...

Macdav:
If you're that ready, this is your month!!

I receive

noziz:
Pride gree let u see front!

Lool

Probably from a movie...

Kingrexyl:
But them no too fine, let's be honest..

Them no fine ....no be "too fine" sef

This one don kolo

Their customer care and their Banking services is still shit ....

ceeroh:
You better calm down and find yourself a man.

Nairalanders will frustrate you oo
Majority of us here are not normal.

Oga no go there o ....nah for Nairaland awon come find man nih?


Me too I'm not normal... we'll all be mad together nah

ceeroh:
Your blood too dey hot

How man person go do nah...

law of the jungle nai are apply here..

ceeroh:
Jodha Akbar.. Calm down. No be everytime person dey serious. Have some fun abeg.

Lool ..thank God say yhu know....I came for war

What's all these clownery about now... nairaland guys ...Una no go kee person