chigoizie7:
Mtcheeeew, let me continue moving my move

Please yourself. Na one life.

CAPSLOCKED:


MY FRIEND AND THE GIRL MET IN 2010, AS TEENAGERS. THEY'LL BE GETTING MARRIED THIS YEAR AFTER 10 YEARS AND I'VE NEVER SEEN A MORE HAPPIER PAIR IN THE ENTIRE 10 YEARS THAT WE'VE ALL BEEN FRIENDS.

WE SHOULD JUST STOP CREATING PRINCIPLES FOR PEOPLE AND ALLOW THEM WORK WITH THE TIMINGS THAT THEY'RE COMFORTABLE WITH.

FOLLOWING YOUR OPINION DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WALKING AWAYS THE GIRL MIGHT HAVE DONE IN TEN YEARS? HOW MANY PREGNANCIES/STD'S AND ANY OTHER THING THAT WILL ACCOMPANY SUCH AN ADVENTURE?

I'VE NOT EVEN TALKED ABOUT MY FRIENDS THAT HAVE BEEN TOGETHER SINCE WE WERE IN JSS2. THEM STILL DEY O CLOSE TO 2 DECADES. WHY SHOULD WE ASK THEM TO GO SEPERATE WAYS UNLESS THEY MUST GET MARRIED TODAY TODAY.

HOW IS THEIR MARRIAGE MY BUSINESS?
A HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE UNMARRIED PAIR IS BETTER COMPARED TO THE MARRIED ONES THAT HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED PEACE EVEN FOR 2 MINUTES IN THEIR MARRIAGE.

WE SHA STUPID FOR THIS COUNTRY. WETIN SUPPOSE CONCERN US WITH PEOPLE MARRIAGE?
UNFAITHFULNESS IS WHAT IT IS. NO SUGAR COATING WETHER MARRIAGE IS INVOLVED OR NOT. IF YOU WANT MARRIAGE GO AHEAD AND GET IT FROM WHEREVER AND STOP DECEIVING YOUR PARTNER, WHO MAY PROBABLY BE GIVING HIS/HER ALL THINKING (S)HE'S MAKING A LIFETIME INVESTMENT WITHOUT KNOWING THAT YOU'RE A COMMERCIAL DISTRIBUTOR.

exactly, much emphasis is placed on marriage. Many people in developed countries are OK as partners. Marriage is never on their agenda initially .
There is so much pressure on females to marry,if she is not married early what will you guys call her?evening newspaper. Did Ubunja your mentor not counsel you guys against marrying a girl above 25? Or refer to older ladies as leftovers?
So don't blame ladies that place emphasis in getting the ring above every other thing because its the men that offer "Shiloh threats" or remind them constantly of how their biological clock is ticking.

It is very disheartening for a guy to date a lady for a decade only for you to breakup and after 3 months you want to marry someone else. Ladies dread this like a plague,so they rather date you shortly.
I am speaking from experience. Had a suitor who was out of a long term relationship (8+ years) and when he saw me in less than two months proposed marriage. The lady was so devastated,like she was an AIDS patient,albeit I didn't proceed with him because I didn't want to eat where another woman sowed and some other stuffs about him ..
Tell me,after investing almost a decade of her life to him and no ring do you think she will date subsequent men long?

Many ladies date for marriage and not to experience love.

Women are always wary of where a relationship is headed,and careful not to sow into a man life if she isnt guaranteed the ring,thus your gf that loves you may leave the instant a man she doesn't love ask for her hand in marriage.

I didn't create any principle for anyone,I just gave my advice based on my experience with ladies and how they view things. Most girls of marriageable age tell me they can't date a man for more than a year if he hasn't said anything about marriage,so my post was in reference to the time ladies have given themselves.
It doesn't apply to every lady.

So in a case whereby a lady is interested in marriage and the man insist thinking that direction,instead of cheating or forcing him into marriage or "waiting and hoping",is walking away not the best option?

Rapmoney:
I have already done that in my post because I clearly stated that such a man should leave such lady and let her forge her way. I never said that the man should hold tightly to her even with such situation on ground.

But which sane man will want to marry a lady that is obviously cheating, because she doesn't want to put all her eggs in one basket?

Michellekabod2:
exactly, much emphasis is placed on marriage. Many people in developed countries are OK as partners. Marriage is never on their agenda initially .
There is so much pressure on females to marry,if she is not married early what will you guys call her?evening newspaper. Did Ubunja your mentor not counsel you guys against marrying a girl above 25? Or refer to older ladies as leftovers?
So don't blame ladies that place emphasis in getting the ring above every other thing because its the men that offer "Shiloh threats" or remind them constantly of how their biological clock is ticking.

It is very disheartening for a guy to date a lady for a decade only for you to breakup and after 3 months you want to marry someone else. Ladies dread this like a plague,so they rather date you shortly.
I am speaking from experience. Had a suitor who was out of a long term relationship (8+ years) and when he saw me in less than two months proposed marriage. The lady was so devastated,like she was an AIDS patient,albeit I didn't proceed with him because I didn't want to eat where another woman sowed and some other stuffs about him ..
Tell me,after investing almost a decade of her life to him and no ring do you think she will date subsequent men long?

Many ladies date for marriage and not to experience love.

Women are always wary of where a relationship is headed,and careful not to sow into a man life if she isnt guaranteed the ring,thus your gf that loves you may leave the instant a man she doesn't love ask for her hand in marriage.

I didn't create any principle for anyone,I just gave my advice based on my experience with ladies and how they view things. Most girls of marriageable age tell me they can't date a man for more than a year if he hasn't said anything about marriage,so my post was in reference to the time ladies have given themselves.
It doesn't apply to every lady.

So in a case whereby a lady is interested in marriage and the man insist thinking that direction,instead of cheating or forcing him into marriage or "waiting and hoping",is walking away not the best option?

If all woman have this line of thought, then they are obviously marrying for the wrong reason.
Finding the right person should be the number one priority, not marriage.
They are countless married people both men and women that are living a life of regrets. Some are strong enough or too ashame so they try hard to hide it. Others walk out.
these are the same people that felt they are flying without wings on their wedding day.

Too many kids from broken homes, yet women still focus on marriage, focusing more on the snivel instead of the stake (the right partner).

But I think it's all about preference, some people value their life and their happiness so much that they won't entertain any form unhappiness that will limit their life.
While the others are so shallow that they think it's either they follow the crowd or they are nothing, makes you wonder how they happily settle for less.

The ideal thing should be finding a good partner first, before marriage. But do you ladies even think about the person or it's only marriage that you want?
And to who?
Just anyone that is ready to get married too?
We have ritualist, drug dealers, rapist, arm robbers etc, that are also ready for marriage.

Ah, Rapmoney, I don't agree with you on this one o. This is just like guys who claim one girl is gf material, but not wife material. It is all deceit.

Both parties are wrong. They should be honourable enough to end it with one and focus on the other. Anyway, arguing for or against it wouldn't change reality.

Happy new year to you.

pocohantas:
Ah, Rapmoney, I don't agree with you on this one o. This is just like guys who claim one girl is gf material, but not wife material. It is all deceit.

Both parties are wrong. They should be honourable enough to end it with one and focus on the other. Anyway, arguing for or against it wouldn't change reality.

Happy new year to you.

Well, opinions differ All the same, thanks dear and a happy new year to you.

The thing is that once a woman is not a sister or relative, the guys hardly see her as a human being. Hence the bad treatment which they will never want for their own daughters and blood. So a woman's eyes must be open for herself.

Abeg tell them ooooo

TRUTH

Which kind Excuse be that na.

Its funny how women end game is only marriage. Na by force?

talk is cheap

Rapmoney:
Recently, I was having a discussion with a younger colleague who confided in me about some relationship issues he has been having with his girlfriend of 4 years.

They young man was of the opinion that his girlfriend has been cheating on him. According to him, she receives long and suspicious calls from 'male admirers' and this gives him worries that she could fall for any of them anytime soon. He had accosted her several times about this act and it had always ended with the response that they are 'mere admirers' and this has led to numerous quarrels between them. Some even turned physical!!!

First, I tried as much as possible to be very objective and logical. I really did not want to be biased despite the work relationship we share. As a realist, I would always state the truth even if it comes out bitter like the gall of a chicken.

From what he told me, he has been dating the girl for 4 years. I asked him if he had made any concrete plan towards tying the knot with her and his response was a negative one. After 4 years, you still dey calculate, dey estimate and approximate whether na she go be your wife or not. Ogbeni, which level you sef dey operate on? I made him to understand that problems are either caused by commission or omission. In his case, the inability or reluctance (omission) to define the relationship and attach a final destination to it through concrete visible plans is the remote cause of the problems.

Women are like flowers; they blossom today and wither away soonest when they are not plucked. You cannot date a lady for years without any concrete plans of marrying her and still turn around and accuse her of cheating on you. What would you expect her to do? If she pressures you to do the needful, you will still be the one who will quickly see her as someone trying to chain you down with marriage.

We should accept truths, no matter how painful they are. I am not in support of cheating in relationships but you do not have any right as a man, be it customary, legal or religious to demand faithfulness from a lady if you are not formally engaged to her. If the finance to coordinate a family is absent and she understands that, two of you can put heads together to see how to reach a compromise. If she is not in, then leave her and let her find her way. Don't leave her on the fence. Work harder and smarter and create a life for yourself.

Marriage is not for boys and girls. Nor be bobo and cheeseballs business. You might make her miss eligible suitors. You should not be the one to be blamed if things later go south for her.

If your inability to tie the knot stems from the fact that you are still young and want to enjoy your life, then you have no business with committed relationships. Get yourself a fvckmate on contract basis to satisfy your sexual urge. E nor dey expensive. If your inability stems from the fact that you are still watching to know whether she is the one or not after couple of years, you are not a serious fellow! Na spectator you be? Let her go. Don't be an obstacle to her marital prospects. You have no authority backed by law or custom to go haywire if you suspect she is cheating on you. My brother, her papa and mama nor know you. Na who bring drinks and kolanut come deh know. Nor be fight.

The socio-economic system witnessed by our parents is far different from what is obtainable today. Things are really not smooth for many young people. Na the one you know you sabi.

This ugly situation has made it difficult for many young ladies to meet eligible suitors. Gone are the days when people date for 7years, 8 years and 10 years. Making your girlfriend commit to only you for couple of years without her seeing any good plan of a future together with you is as bad as evil.

Time waits for nobody. If e no gree you do, ogbeni leave am. Somebody dey for everybody.

if u re not yet married
there is nothing like cheating

live and let live.
People should be free to take whatever course of action they deem fit suitable for their happiness and peace of mind.

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@Op increase the volume

Young boy like me who knows nothing about relationship.

Op you're not wise. It obvious you're already judging the guy, you never see anything. Fear women.

J111333:
I stand with you my friend.
If you date my sister or daughter for four years without plans, na me go take my hand bring man wey she go cheat on you with.
Nonsense.

and who loses?

Hmm

Bro you are a concrete womanizers with high degrees. Even in marriage women still lose hmm.

Abeg abeg abeg I no want dis kind talk dis 2020...abeg...
Advice to guys....never chase a bitch , chase check..u can't stop a cheat, a cheat would cheat whether u wife am or not ...like wise men...

izzou:


You are so so so so wrong

There is nothing to be objective or logical about in cheating.

As a guy, I must demand faithfulness from my lady, the moment we are in a relationship. As my lady, she must demand faithfulness from me the moment we are in a relationship

If a lady feels her man is taking too long to wife her, END THE RELATIONSHIP. Also, if a guy feels his lady is taking too long to accept, END IT TOO

We complicate our lives on this earth with decisions we term "Objective and Logical".

There is no right way to do a something wrong. There never is

Seconded with plenty likes!

1StopRudeness:


U are approaching relationship matters with a textbook approach....

ofcourse as a man, if I’m 200% sure I’m just using a girl as a booty-calll..it won’t really bother me if she’s cheating...but if we are dating genuinely and the relationship has not blossomed to the marriage lane...does that now mean I shouldn expect faithfulness from her??

Isn’t that what all women expect too weda they are ready to marry you or not....so far you are entering them, they don’t expect you to enter another woman ......

After 4 years?


You people should fear God oh. You will have daughters one day.

How would one settle with a partner who happens to be unfaithful? I don't think commitments would make any difference. Anyone who cheats in a relationship will cheat as a married person.

Rapmoney:
Recently, I was having a discussion with a younger colleague who confided in me about some relationship issues he has been having with his girlfriend of 4 years.

They young man was of the opinion that his girlfriend has been cheating on him. According to him, she receives long and suspicious calls from 'male admirers' and this gives him worries that she could fall for any of them anytime soon. He had accosted her several times about this act and it had always ended with the response that they are 'mere admirers' and this has led to numerous quarrels between them. Some even turned physical!!!

First, I tried as much as possible to be very objective and logical. I really did not want to be biased despite the work relationship we share. As a realist, I would always state the truth even if it comes out bitter like the gall of a chicken.

From what he told me, he has been dating the girl for 4 years. I asked him if he had made any concrete plan towards tying the knot with her and his response was a negative one. After 4 years, you still dey calculate, dey estimate and approximate whether na she go be your wife or not. Ogbeni, which level you sef dey operate on? I made him to understand that problems are either caused by commission or omission. In his case, the inability or reluctance (omission) to define the relationship and attach a final destination to it through concrete visible plans is the remote cause of the problems.

Women are like flowers; they blossom today and wither away soonest when they are not plucked. You cannot date a lady for years without any concrete plans of marrying her and still turn around and accuse her of cheating on you. What would you expect her to do? If she pressures you to do the needful, you will still be the one who will quickly see her as someone trying to chain you down with marriage.

We should accept truths, no matter how painful they are. I am not in support of cheating in relationships but you do not have any right as a man, be it customary, legal or religious to demand faithfulness from a lady if you are not formally engaged to her. If the finance to coordinate a family is absent and she understands that, two of you can put heads together to see how to reach a compromise. If she is not in, then leave her and let her find her way. Don't leave her on the fence. Work harder and smarter and create a life for yourself.

Marriage is not for boys and girls. Nor be bobo and cheeseballs business. You might make her miss eligible suitors. You should not be the one to be blamed if things later go south for her.

If your inability to tie the knot stems from the fact that you are still young and want to enjoy your life, then you have no business with committed relationships. Get yourself a fvckmate on contract basis to satisfy your sexual urge. E nor dey expensive. If your inability stems from the fact that you are still watching to know whether she is the one or not after couple of years, you are not a serious fellow! Na spectator you be? Let her go. Don't be an obstacle to her marital prospects. You have no authority backed by law or custom to go haywire if you suspect she is cheating on you. My brother, her papa and mama nor know you. Na who bring drinks and kolanut come deh know. Nor be fight.

The socio-economic system witnessed by our parents is far different from what is obtainable today. Things are really not smooth for many young people. Na the one you know you sabi.

This ugly situation has made it difficult for many young ladies to meet eligible suitors. Gone are the days when people date for 7years, 8 years and 10 years. Making your girlfriend commit to only you for couple of years without her seeing any good plan of a future together with you is as bad as evil.

Time waits for nobody. If e no gree you do, ogbeni leave am. Somebody dey for everybody.

Iberiberism write up

pryme:


If all woman have this line of thought, then they are obviously marrying for the wrong reason.
Finding the right person should be the number one priority, not marriage.
They are countless married people both men and women that are living a life of regrets. Some are strong enough or too ashame so they try hard to hide it. Others walk out.
these are the same people that felt they are flying without wings on their wedding day.

Too many kids from broken homes, yet women still focus on marriage, focusing more on the snivel instead of the stake (the right partner).

But I think it's all about preference, some people value their life and their happiness so much that they won't entertain any form unhappiness that will limit their life.
While the others are so shallow that they think it's either they follow the crowd or they are nothing, makes you wonder how they happily settle for less.

The ideal thing should be finding a good partner first, before marriage. But do you ladies even think about the person or it's only marriage that you want?
And to who?
Just anyone that is ready to get married too?
We have ritualist, drug dealers, rapist, arm robbers etc, that are also ready for marriage.

True talk.
My first relationship advice from a friend is that girls should have multiple partners so even if my friend have multiple partners I should not care I should also find another girl (girls) so that when she (my date) is not giving attention I would get it from others.
Abeg have multiple partners hmm it will help you select a rich guy joor

The raison d'etre for boyfriend- girlfriend relationship today is sexx. If the duo has no marriage intentions, how can cheating come in. The priick is not yours because you're not and never will be his wife and you can't claim exclusive right to her pussy since you're not and will never be her husband.Op is spot on.

Rapmoney:
Recently, I was having a discussion with a younger colleague who confided in me about some relationship issues he has been having with his girlfriend of 4 years.

They young man was of the opinion that his girlfriend has been cheating on him. According to him, she receives long and suspicious calls from 'male admirers' and this gives him worries that she could fall for any of them anytime soon. He had accosted her several times about this act and it had always ended with the response that they are 'mere admirers' and this has led to numerous quarrels between them. Some even turned physical!!!

First, I tried as much as possible to be very objective and logical. I really did not want to be biased despite the work relationship we share. As a realist, I would always state the truth even if it comes out bitter like the gall of a chicken.

From what he told me, he has been dating the girl for 4 years. I asked him if he had made any concrete plan towards tying the knot with her and his response was a negative one. After 4 years, you still dey calculate, dey estimate and approximate whether na she go be your wife or not. Ogbeni, which level you sef dey operate on? I made him to understand that problems are either caused by commission or omission. In his case, the inability or reluctance (omission) to define the relationship and attach a final destination to it through concrete visible plans is the remote cause of the problems.

Women are like flowers; they blossom today and wither away soonest when they are not plucked. You cannot date a lady for years without any concrete plans of marrying her and still turn around and accuse her of cheating on you. What would you expect her to do? If she pressures you to do the needful, you will still be the one who will quickly see her as someone trying to chain you down with marriage.

We should accept truths, no matter how painful they are. I am not in support of cheating in relationships but you do not have any right as a man, be it customary, legal or religious to demand faithfulness from a lady if you are not formally engaged to her. If the finance to coordinate a family is absent and she understands that, two of you can put heads together to see how to reach a compromise. If she is not in, then leave her and let her find her way. Don't leave her on the fence. Work harder and smarter and create a life for yourself.

Marriage is not for boys and girls. Nor be bobo and cheeseballs business. You might make her miss eligible suitors. You should not be the one to be blamed if things later go south for her.

If your inability to tie the knot stems from the fact that you are still young and want to enjoy your life, then you have no business with committed relationships. Get yourself a fvckmate on contract basis to satisfy your sexual urge. E nor dey expensive. If your inability stems from the fact that you are still watching to know whether she is the one or not after couple of years, you are not a serious fellow! Na spectator you be? Let her go. Don't be an obstacle to her marital prospects. You have no authority backed by law or custom to go haywire if you suspect she is cheating on you. My brother, her papa and mama nor know you. Na who bring drinks and kolanut come deh know. Nor be fight.

The socio-economic system witnessed by our parents is far different from what is obtainable today. Things are really not smooth for many young people. Na the one you know you sabi.

This ugly situation has made it difficult for many young ladies to meet eligible suitors. Gone are the days when people date for 7years, 8 years and 10 years. Making your girlfriend commit to only you for couple of years without her seeing any good plan of a future together with you is as bad as evil.

Time waits for nobody. If e no gree you do, ogbeni leave am. Somebody dey for everybody.

How can I like this a million times?