₦airaland Forum

NaijaRoyalty:
lets give Alhaji Atiku a chance to lead the country to the promise land flowing with milk and honey.

Give koh, givers never lack ni

Savagery.... ;DD

Ishilove:
You're not a real niggarrr. Real niggarrrz write "I'm" which is "I am" compounded. Be a real niggarrr!!!

Maybe they want to outshine their fathers and ignore their mothers...lol

Cuccitini:
Most girls drink more than their father's nowadays nd cook less than their mother's

Cuccitini:
Most girls drink more than their father's nowadays nd cook less than their mother's

;DD
ooo my my....

One of the best comments I've seen on Nairaland.

If partners can follow this, we'll have more than 50% of broken homes stick together till death put them apart.

[1quote author=OladimejiRufai post=84210194]Well, I have an advice for you my boy @OP

From this moment, stop looking for true love

I'm not implying that you cannot find it but stop looking for it.

Rather start looking for a lady who is psychologically wired to always do the right thing and has a very advanced understanding of life.

See, in most cases, love is transient.

Sometimes, people fall in love because they fell into a moment where they perceived something that touched their heart from the other person. And then moments later, they find out that the feelings are lost.

sometimes, people fall in love because there's constant communication or commitment between both persons and they are just lost in the fun of it and think they are in love. If something happens that distracts one of them from achieving the constant communication or commitment to the other person, they find that they lose the love gradually.

sometimes, people's love for another person is usually connected to some features of that person that fascinates them or blows them away.

"oh, the guy is funny." "the girl is intelligent" "the guy is charming" "the girl is georgous" e.t.c and they continue to fall in love so far these qualities are present. But what happens when they lose those qualities or those qualities gradually fade away? that's how the love will also be lost or will gradually fade away.

So in most cases, love is transient. This is proven by the many broken relationships where you hear from both sides that they have fallen out of love.

So if a person were to enter a marriage because of love, he or she is likely to be no more interested in the marriage eventually and may crave attention or love elsewhere and may want to break up the marriage.

That's the reason why I said you should look for someone with a larger and better understanding of life and who is psychologically wired to do the right thing.

this is because when it gets to the stage in a marriage where both spouses have fallen out of love, for people who do not fulfil the said criteria (no understanding of life or being wired to do the right thing), they would want to break up or would start seeking love elsewhere and they many end up cheating etc.

But for someone who fulfils that criteria;

- someone who understands that this life is not a bed of roses and it is not everything you want that you get;

- someone who understands that the purpose of marriage is not necessarily to love rather it is to show care, support each other, become responsible, help each other achieve desired goals and for mankind to multiply (procreation);

- someone who understands that there is time for everything and there are some certain pleasures that should not be sought at all stages of life or the pleasures should be limited at some point in time (imagine a 45 year old woman complaining that her husband doesn't take her out for shopping or so like he used to when she was still 25 when she should be more concerned about caring for the kids that she didn't have then but have now and focus on making them successful in life)

- someone who understands that this life itself is a place of trials and there'll always be sour times or times when you would have to forgo your heart desires for the right thing to be done;

- someone who understands that the pleasures of the hereafter are far greater than those of this life and is more concerned about that and because of that, he or she gives up some pleasures in this world just for the right thing to be done.

- someone who has values, who understands cheating is bad, who understands that it is an evil thing to extort or deceive a partner for personal gains, who knows how to control anger and doesn't expect perfection from the other partner, who understands that for a marriage to work, both sides must be committed to it, who understands that deceiving a partner and extorting him should not be the measure by which you "make it in life", and who is psychologically wired to follow all those values;

So for someone who has a better understanding of life and is wired to do the right thing, such are the people who stay in a marriage when there's no more "love" or when they have fallen out of love and continue to try everything to make it work till the end.

So this is what you should be looking for, for "true love" Is scarce.

If eventually you are able to find true love in a partner that fulfils the above criteria, then consider it a plus, consider it a blessing and thank God for it.

My piece![/quote]

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Oracle55:
My fellow nairalanders I am here to seek your advice, I am presently working as an administrative assistant and my salary is fifty thousand naira only (50,000) but as it is now the standard of living in Lagos is very high, I can't get married and build a family with 50,000.

I have saved up 600,000, please what business can I start up in lagos with that amount?

A friend suggested opening a Bet 9ja betting centre that he makes up to 100k weekly, please I need more suggestions please.

Mod, help and push to front page for more suggestions thanks

Public Speaking. I do it with ease. I can speak on any subject

BRATISLAVA:
don't you think the man should cry to God because he has issues for always telling his wife to leave? Or men don't need God in their marriages, too? Nigerian men marriage is a sham.

The man is not seeing why he should make his marriage work my dear.

He needs help.

It's the hard truth. He's deluded already and you can't tell him to cry to God because he's not seeing anything wrong in his actions right now.

It's a sick man that needs a doctor.

Let's help care for his ailments and see how he responds to treatment.

tiredoflife:
When u marry for materialism
This is what u get

You just said rubbish

How are you sure she married for materialism?

Did you read the part that she said they are both working and are very very comfortable?

If you don't have an answer to heal a wounded soul, you keep quiet please.

Keep quiet!

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

My take on this:

In as much as I will not suggest a divorce to married couple, I will also not advice any partner to continue living in pain because of what the society is going to say.

I've seen marriages that started this way and the wife was hoping that he will change. 30 years down the line, he never changed ( because men rarely change) and the wife had to live in pain.

If you know what it means to fry a spoilt egg together with a good egg, you will understand what I'm saying.

When a man begins to see his wife as worthless, there's big trouble. If sense is not talked into him ASAP, he will soon treat her as trash (even rag has value)

Please don't divorce (because you might not be able to handle the pains of divorce). It's more painful than you can imagine.

Also, don't keep condoning being treated as trash by your husband (you are just two years in marriage...how far can you go/cope with that? ).

Making a marriage work sometimes means taking your rightful place as a wife. People recommended War Room. Yea...that lady didn't win her husband by tolerating him.

You need wisdom here woman.

Your goal is to make your marriage work (have a happy home).

What you do not need is your husband treating you like nobody.

If you are a christian, I advice you speak to God on which way to go about it. I am sure the HolySpirit will direct you (God wants you HAPPILY MARRIED).

I can't tell you exactly which principle to follow strictly to make your marriage work ( there's no one-size fit-all formula as marital issues are concerned). However, I know someone who can make your marriage work and make your husband the best man for you all your life; He is called GOD.

Cry to God to make your marriage work.

God loves you and He will never be interested in you suffering.

Cry to God woman, cry to God!

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TheManOfTheYear:
I've already learned Html and CSS, I will soon start Javascript,
But I wanted to go into app development, so I thought of Java, what are your alternatives?

Javascript is wide and modern. You can also do app development with Javascript. You may message me on WhatsApp 08069762478

TheManOfTheYear:
Tell me more about the emboldened.
Because I'm planning on specializing in Java

Don't waste your time on Java (I'm telling you this because I assume you are just about to start. If you have started it already, I wouldn't want to discourage you)

Follow it the way I ask you to;

HTML
CSS
JavaScript

You will come back and thank me.

I knew this in a hard way...you don't have to go the hard way too.

My piece of advice

codemaniacs:
if you didn't study computer science or computer engineering go and get a job.... unless you want to be a freelancer.. no one would hire a self taught programmer in Nigeria .

this is my opinion..

THIS IS EXTREMELY WRONG.

The industry cares more about what you can deliver. If you are good, know one cares about what your credentials (academic) say

sparkle7:
Web developer is a type of programmer that builds web applications using frontend and back end tools. So the technologies you need is HTML and CSS (Paramount) JavaScript, a back end language like php or ruby or python or java, then databases like mysql, postgres or nosql databases like mongodb.
So as you can see the learning curve is deep from HTML to CSS to JavaScript to php using a database like mysql or mariadb.
If you enter into web dev just to get a job then you might go hungry and lose the interest in it.
One thing people fail to know is that programming is not like other business where you start seeing returns immediately.
It takes time bro and experience. Just like an investment you make on yourself and reap the rewards later.
You can work on andela, do freelance works on fiverr or run projects for computer science students.
My 2 cents.

You have said it well.

Just an addition...

I will advise you that you start with the knowledge of HTML and CSS.

When I started programming, I had no mentor to guide me. It's the zeal that I had so I started learning on my own. I started with one of the tough languages (Java). It was latter I learnt HTML, CSS. I soon realised Java is not very lucrative anymore. But with consistency and determination, I kept learning and I'm still learning.

You have lots to learn when it comes to programming and you can't know it all.

So start with HTML and CSS. Later you can move to Javascript. By then, you would have got the understanding of the industry and know what next you should learn.

It's an interesting and challenging industry, I tell you.

lagoskind:
It's just the use of different terminologies. Programming is the same thing as coding, vice versa. A programmer writes codes or programs, a coder writes programs or codes...

It's just a New School thing by young programmers to call themselves coders...

YOU HAVE ANSWERED RIGHTLY

Abeg, pass jare

The federal government of Nigeria is not really serious about this matter. I can sense tribal prejudice

Please do PDP lawyers know something called "mock trial"?

It's looking like they just come to the court of law without preparation just to mess up in the public and lose gallantly to their opponents.

Isokay...

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Adiola:
useless woman ...cheat

You open your mouth widely to accuse the first lady without having any proof, smh for you. Kontunu

God help us