₦airaland Forum

dawnomike:
Waiting is a choice he has to make... If he can't wait, there are other ladies out there. Cheating is not an option as it is not fair

funny she doesn't see it in that light

Fahdiga:
If you can't give it to him why not tell him to look outside until you are ready

that's what she's saying

Kriss216:
A girl in love will never be comfortable sharing her man with another woman. The virgin girl is not into your friend, she's only interested in what your guy is offering which is Money!

no she's comfortable. A working class..my friend says she earns around 120k per month ..so i dont think money is d issue here

Sex is a like a fruit once eaten..you don't say no to it again ..though depending on how it was first experienced..
A friend of mine met a young lady in her mid twenties(a Virgin) surprisingly..they both shared a lot of connections together..few weeks and months feelings came up..they went on dates together and did a lot of things together..
Now he is at a Crossroad..the lady had made up her mind that only her husband would take her Virginity..
But she wants a relationship with my friend..but my friend boldy told her he can't date a Virgin because if he does he would cheat on her ..that he had gone that road before and it ended in a disaster..that he won't thread that road again of promising a lady he would stay without it and therefore made a mess of the relationship..
To his greatest surprise the lady said that he should go get it outside..under the condition that she doesn't find out about it..he was like why should or why would he do that and still claim he loves her still..that his conscience would kill him..
but the lady seems OK with it..that all she wants is his love and care...but my friend said he loves her and wouldn't want to do such a thing to her..but she seems OK with it..
Now they are at a Crossroad on what to do next..he told me about it and I was awed and don't even know what to say or advice to give to him.
Our nairaland relationship experts. Please kindly advise

Please, am considering a job offer in taraba as a senior sales staff in an automobile company a trycyle firm to be precise. . though am yet to sign the offer letter. .I would like to know the cost and standard of living in taraba state. .though no accommodation is given only a 2 weeks hotel reservation after which I can sort out accommodation myself. ..I would like if someone can help me ascertain the aspect of trycycle as a means of transportation in taraba state..am considering many factors before I accept the job
Security, hospitality in terms of relationship with the locals. .cost of housing. .cost of foodstuffs.
Thank you ,
I stay and work in lagos

ahiboilandgas:
also didnt understand yoruba or Lagos before i moved there ....like wise dangote and others ...why did u apply for the job in the first place....man up or chicken out....

it's not as easy as u see it

ahiboilandgas:
what is wrong with u ? 300k x 12=3.6m vs 50 x12=600k ... so 3m ever year .....taraba is very ok jalingo is even more safe more than Lagos ...with very low cost of living.....

my concern is the terrain because I don't even know the place,,haven't been there before this is not one year nysc stuff. .it's more of starting a new life ,new place ,new life.. more over I dont understand hausa language. . Because my job entails dealing with people .. so it a new total and different thing all together

MightySparrow:
GO, with the nature of your job, you are not likely to experience the fighting side. I served in taraba in 90s and back then heavy fighting was going on between Tiv and Fulani, Jukun and mumuye or other tribe. the difference now is frequency of circulation of information.

this is one offer that dont come easily ...I just want God to help me

intruder15:
It's high time you grow up and make a decision as a man that you are. We're you expecting your parents? to support you?

Taraba that is even peaceful when compared to other northern states? Wake up bro. There are things you don't seek permission for but rather inform the later.

Be a man. If your write up was about the job security I would have listened.

the role am going to be occupying there is a more senior level grade. . Though it would come with new challenges. .because the company is a well known brand in automobile.. so I feel it wants to expand more in the north. So it's a new challenge for me

I will make this simple and straightforward.
Been working for an automobile company for 2 years now..with a pay of 50k per month but with other small side hustling I get close to 70 to 80k in a month though not fixed. .but close to .
Now I applied with our rival company some few weeks ago for a role in lagos did two interviews with them few weeks back. .did not hear from them until this afternoon they called to let me know if I would like to work in taraba state. .we agreed on 300k. .the H.R has sent me a mail indicating all I should send to them to help me prepare my offer letter.
Now comes the issue my parents and siblings are not in support of it.. because they feel it's far and the level of insecurity which I understand. .but deep down I want to go there. .I see it as a new challenge and new life.,all my life has been in lagos except my university life but I served in lagos also. .
My friends tell me to go ..but my parents says no..
Giving me plenty reasons ..
Am just confused now..
I need advice. .
Even divine help..

If u have a note 8 S6 edge plus..S8. S8 plus with imei null issues. ..please send me a private message

Chai zlatan ooo i knew it was a matter of time b4 he kills someone we call him zlatan because he has the physique of zlatan ibrahimovic because hes alwys aggresive ...he had psycho issues. .like mental issue. .we heard he has a federal hospital document backing so he can't be touched incase he misbehaves.....I live in this area ..we even play football together that's why we call him zlatan. .if u play for him set and you no play well or them win una. .baba go cuse you tire..the guy fit use stone hit you..so most times we run away from, playing in his set...he's a always causing problems. .there's was a time we all planned to beat him up because the guy own don too much,.some area boys don Even plan to kill him on code...he stabbed one of my friend then sukanmi. ..he was in hospital for two weeks..he's excuse is he has a legal document protecting him as as psychotic patient. .
I still wonder why he would be allowed to walk freely..because he was a danger to the society. .but this is nigeria na...though he's calm with me..but I dey use sense follow am..no try drag or argue with am..else na wahala. ..when I saw my one of our guys that we all play football together on Monday. .and told me guy zlatan don kill person oo
I wasn't surprised. ..I knew it was coming. .he said he was about to be burnt until police Came and took him away. ..the thing be say if he was burnt ..police would likely arrest all involved saying we all knew has psychotic problem with a legal document to he can't be touched. .
The dotun guy i have seen him before but don't know him closely. .
Reporting from Agodo Egbe
Ikotun
Lagos

boxer022:
I understand what you are saying, but just advising you on the anger part. Even as she knows that she was at fault in the first place, she didn't expect the slap. You have every right to be angry, but it is how you decide to channel the anger towards her that matters most.

I know...I have learnt from that...though am a temperamental person...but I don't physically abuse ladies...I have assured her that it won't happen again

boxer022:
I quite understand you but you have to try as much as you can to control your anger. If you really intend to marry her then make it an assignment for yourself to control your anger as it may affect your relationship and marriage. No lady or woman will like to live with a man who slaps her or beat her at any slight provocation.

she has offended me othertimes and I did not Lay Amy finger on her...so this time it was really different. .but I have apologised about it

themaestro08:
A lot of cool guys (including me) have pointed out to you that - its highly likely she has lost interest in you and even if mask it for now she will eventually leave you in a pathetic manner, but yet, you are bent on repairing the already weak relationship despite all the signs its crash is imminent.

Believe it or not she will leave you sooner or later.

Believe it or not quit and you will find a better girl out there who is way better than her.

let's see how it goes

dom80:
Yes.. she needs to decide. you don't have to force her. I believe whatever you may be doing now will look as if you are forcing her because you want to know if she is into you the way you are into her. if you ask her if she wants to be with you, she will definitely tell you yes because she doesn't want you to feel bad but the truth is she got something else ringing in her mind. try to have one on one conversation in a cool place. ask her if she is tired of the relationship and if she is no longer interested or if she knows she has someone else in her life, she should just open up and you guys can end the relationship. Tell her you won't feel bad and you will take it as your faith.

thanks alot ...I appreciate your cool advice. ..

themaestro08:
Will you shut the hell up? You obviously lack self control. Imagine your whole GF? Someone you should cherish with love and care.

We are all muscular guys who can turn monsters if we wish, but hey, its uncivil.

Better to quit and let her go than bruising her for minor offences.

bro chill na..if I was a woman beater I bet she won't stay 3 years with me...she knew the only reason that triggered the anger was because the issue

2dice01:
One thing you should know my brother is we are all humans

Same way you fancy other girls
She also fancy them

Lol she nearly fall for bro you crack me up
Admit she likes the dude

She might be keeping him as backup plan when things goes South

Or already dating him too
She is still young
Girl wanna explore and its will look like you are caging her with this attitude

But be ready for Breakup anytime

Try having a beautiful female bestie

that's some tempting suggestion

boxer022:
Before I give you my little advice, I need to ask you some questions. What is your intention for this relationship, where will this relationship lead to? I have seen your age and you are no longer kids. What do you want for yourself, is she type of lady you will like to spend the rest of your life with? From your write ups I see few problems, why do you like using the relationship as a threat to her, you always threaten to leave the relationship each time you have issues with her. That is not good at all for your relationship. You are really confusing her. In her mind she is always afraid of you leaving the relationship. That is not good for the relationship, which is why she fell victim to the other guy who is trying to get to her. Why should you slap her, you have no right to lay your hands on her as you are not married to her, you are just in a relationship. Apologizing to her is OK but, it has not left her mind. She is still afraid that you may slap her again tomorrow when you have issues. You need to control your anger. Now concerning the morning which the other guy gave to her so as to lure her to himself, she has the option of either returning it to him or spending it. Asking her to block him on all social media outlets is also good to save your relationship, but may not be the ultimate solution. He may still visit her thinking that his trap has caught a big meat. You have to convince her with your intentions for the relationship if she is the type of lady you want as a wife and also marry her, to stop being afraid of you quitting the relationship. If you know that you will someday leave her, well if she OK with it which I doubt, then convince her that you will remain with her till the end of your relationship.

I intend getting married to her ..she knows already. ..I don't want to be the one who decides on what to do in the relationship

dom80:
op, I understand you are doing everything possible to secure your gf because you love her and you are so much emotionally attach to her. so, it will be very bad if someone else steal your gf from you.

your gf should know that the fb guy is just trying to act like a cool guy just to get her. Your gf not being wise and mature enough will think the guy is a cool guy and perhaps start having feeling for him (not natural feeling). I want you to know that your gf will cheat behind your back with that guy if you don't act fast.

if truly your gf loves you, she will cut all contact with the guy or any other guys that will cause her problem in her relationship. if she loves you, she will endure with your character and perhaps tell you where you go wrong when you accuse her wrongly or when you do things and you may be thinking you are doing the right thing.

there is always issues in every relationship but with open communication you guys can be able to see where your faults lies and how you can solve those issues. it seems there is no open communication in your relationship and I want to believe you are the only one that is communicating while your gf is not open with you.

thanks alot..I have spoken to her about this. ..but I want her to decide this on her own, ..I don't want to be the one who does so

StrongandMighty:
forget all those jamburi she dey yarn the truth is that she's getting fade up with the relationship she wants to experience something new and at this stage there's little or nothing you can do about it ..
the guy has been in the picture and that's what is causing the relationship issues(once a girl starts being non chalant towards her relationship when her partner is still treating her with so much love and care then know that there's a new guy and that's a fact) and not that she was having issues in the relationship because of the things you said like the threats about leaving the relationship or even the slap, because ofcourse if she was acting right you wouldn't have made such statement or slapped her.
there's no point pushing this relationship man! break up with her, I know you still love her but just break up with her for the sake of your self respect because at the end of the day she'll still break up with you and heart break won't be funny on your part ...
do it now!

bro...you kind of really read my mind...all this you said ...I thought about them..

Bola146:
Ha.. Even a 20 years old can think better than this

ok ma

StrongandMighty:
your relationship is heading towards it's natural death.. take heart bro

pls for any advice try backing it up with a reason so I can deduce on what to do

2dice01:
You get too attached because you are the one investing more in the relationship

Stop trying to dictate for her
You want her to delete the guy on Fb
The more you act like her father the more she goes wild

trust me bro...what this girl has done because of this relationship is more than what I can say...let me not say much

2dice01:
You get too attached because you are the one investing more in the relationship

Stop trying to dictate for her
You want her to delete the guy on Fb
The more you act like her father the more she goes wild

no dictating. ..even b4 this issue came up...I know other guys chat her on fb asking her out saying they want to see her...I know all this. .I dey see am..but I just see it as normal stuff ...I don't own her so I can't say she should not talk to him ...but my question is ..is it right for your gf to still be in conversation with a guy who was giving her reasons to exist her relationship with the aim of asking her out. .which she nearly feel for...

Damilosky9:
Bros I think u should let her choose whom she wants..how long will u continue those fights to continually claim her? It seems you love her, I understand it may be painful leaving her to choose who she wants,but it is better. Love should be free ...a matter of choice...this kind love should not be forceful. Bros, abeg try manage ur emotions towards her also!

it's not a matter of f
Force here..I know other guys ask her out. .she's a pretty girl so am not surprised. .I still give her liberty. .am not someone who imposes himself on a woman..I just felt if it's right to allow your gf still relate with a guy who brain feed her with enough reasons to exist her own relationship

keycash:
Learn to control your anger .. the lady is right .. what will you do if someone slapped your sister ?

I regretted that action till today...I have never laid a finger on her b4

TheAfricaQueen:
The writing is on the wall.

we have gone through more than this. .we did not come this far with the way been rosy since day one

2dice01:
ordinary Gf you slapped her

If you dey better country they would have locked your silly àss

She is your Girlfriend not your Property

Stop investing so much emotions on Girlfriends try invest that on your Academics or Hustle

I slapped out of anger something I have never done for more than 3 years. .which i apologised for ...yes she's not my property. .but let's be honest when u have been with someone for a long time...u get really attached to them

Bola146:
"unhappy...she later apologised and begged me she was sorry,.that she was confused that the whole relationship issues was too much for her ,,,She was scared I would leave her"

Hummmm... seriously, I don't know what to say

any advice would be taken

TheAfricaQueen:
You physically abused her, you regularly emotionally blackmail and manipulate her. This relationship is doomed I am sorry!

why so certain

Bola146:
What do I have to write self Please how old are you and your girlfriend

she's 23 am 26