Been having issues with my gf earlier this year.though we have settled it but it nearly ended the relationship .we tend to quarell most times on phone then..I was complaining about her sudden non Chalant attitude in the relationship. .things I don't know her for ..if I complained she would say she did not do anything wrong. .that' I was just taking it too serious. .but deep down I was not happy...so out of anger I would say hurtful things to her. .threatened her I would quit the relationship if she does not sit up..after my anger have melted down I would later call back and apologise to her. .but she would tell me she's sacred that all this threatening that she fears I would eventually leave her one day..but I told her no..that she should sit up and prevent things that would spark my anger at her..we would settle ..fight again..all this on phone though. ..settle again...so later on i found out a particular guy she met on fb has been asking her out...when she came back to Lagos. .when I asked her she said they were just friends nothing else..I said ok...but the signs of just friends where not there. .because the way the guy would be calling her and chatting her up even when she was with me got me suspicious. .it lead to a confrontation between us both. ..which I slapped her out of anger. .something I have never done for the past 3 years of the relationship. ..she cried. ..and i felt bad and later apologised. ..but that was not the end..when she got back. Home..the guy knowing she was no longer in my place. .used the opportunity to get her ...capitalising on the fact she was having relationship issues ..then became Angel to her that moment. .and guys know the best time to get a girl is when is going through relationship issues because they know girls become vulnerable and weak that period..so he started asking her out. ...getting closer to her..all this happened during the April lockdown..which I later found out through some ways...I was sad and unhappy...she later apologised and begged me she was sorry,.that she was confused that the whole relationship issues was too much for her ,,,She was scared I would leave her..that I kept on threatening her with break up all the time..coupled with the slap..that she did not knwo what' she was doing again...and that's when the guy came in StarTed telling her things...but I told her even if we had issues just like every other relationship. .I know I say stuffs to u..most times out of anger. .but I never left u..I still called..as usual...did every other thing as a bf. ..why would u seek refuge else where. .she did said she was sorry about ..that she was just scared. .so we fix the whole issues up..and she promised she would be better and not do things that would get me angry again...I also apologised for the whole drama and slap...but now she later told me that the guy is now saying they should be friends. .since she's has settled thIngs in her relationship life. ..that's let them just be friends. ..she promised she won't hide anything from me...that she has nothing to do with him..and for the fact there was a time he gave her money which she told me about. ..though I know he gave her that money not because of friendship but because he wanted to use that as a means to get to her....I told her to block and delete the guy on her fb..now is it right for me to tell her this or let me give her a benefit of a doubt. ...
Sorry for the long story

Both of you no mature

What do I have to write self Please how old are you and your girlfriend

Bola146:
What do I have to write self Please how old are you and your girlfriend

she's 23 am 26

You physically abused her, you regularly emotionally blackmail and manipulate her. This relationship is doomed I am sorry!

"unhappy...she later apologised and begged me she was sorry,.that she was confused that the whole relationship issues was too much for her ,,,She was scared I would leave her"

Hummmm... seriously, I don't know what to say

Why is Guinness very bitter?

TheAfricaQueen:
You physically abused her, you regularly emotionally blackmail and manipulate her. This relationship is doomed I am sorry!

why so certain

Bola146:


"unhappy...she later apologised and begged me she was sorry,.that she was confused that the whole relationship issues was too much for her ,,,She was scared I would leave her"

Hummmm... seriously, I don't know what to say

any advice would be taken

justine94:
why so certain

The writing is on the wall.

ordinary Gf you slapped her

If you dey better country they would have locked your silly àss

She is your Girlfriend not your Property

Stop investing so much emotions on Girlfriends try invest that on your Academics or Hustle

2dice01:
ordinary Gf you slapped her

If you dey better country they would have locked your silly àss

She is your Girlfriend not your Property

Stop investing so much emotions on Girlfriends try invest that on your Academics or Hustle

I slapped out of anger something I have never done for more than 3 years. .which i apologised for ...yes she's not my property. .but let's be honest when u have been with someone for a long time...u get really attached to them

Learn to control your anger .. the lady is right .. what will you do if someone slapped your sister ?

TheAfricaQueen:


The writing is on the wall.

we have gone through more than this. .we did not come this far with the way been rosy since day one

keycash:
Learn to control your anger .. the lady is right .. what will you do if someone slapped your sister ?

I regretted that action till today...I have never laid a finger on her b4

Bros I think u should let her choose whom she wants..how long will u continue those fights to continually claim her? It seems you love her, I understand it may be painful leaving her to choose who she wants,but it is better. Love should be free ...a matter of choice...this kind love should not be forceful. Bros, abeg try manage ur emotions towards her also!

Damilosky9:
Bros I think u should let her choose whom she wants..how long will u continue those fights to continually claim her? It seems you love her, I understand it may be painful leaving her to choose who she wants,but it is better. Love should be free ...a matter of choice...this kind love should not be forceful. Bros, abeg try manage ur emotions towards her also!

it's not a matter of f
Force here..I know other guys ask her out. .she's a pretty girl so am not surprised. .I still give her liberty. .am not someone who imposes himself on a woman..I just felt if it's right to allow your gf still relate with a guy who brain feed her with enough reasons to exist her own relationship

justine94:
I slapped out of anger something I have never done for more than 3 years. .which i apologised for ...yes she's not my property. .but let's be honest when u have been with someone for a long time...u get really attached to them

You get too attached because you are the one investing more in the relationship

Stop trying to dictate for her
You want her to delete the guy on Fb
The more you act like her father the more she goes wild

Bola146:
What do I have to write self Please how old are you and your girlfriend

His age already shows in his moniker

2dice01:
You get too attached because you are the one investing more in the relationship

Stop trying to dictate for her
You want her to delete the guy on Fb
The more you act like her father the more she goes wild

no dictating. ..even b4 this issue came up...I know other guys chat her on fb asking her out saying they want to see her...I know all this. .I dey see am..but I just see it as normal stuff ...I don't own her so I can't say she should not talk to him ...but my question is ..is it right for your gf to still be in conversation with a guy who was giving her reasons to exist her relationship with the aim of asking her out. .which she nearly feel for...

your relationship is heading towards it's natural death.. take heart bro

2dice01:
You get too attached because you are the one investing more in the relationship

Stop trying to dictate for her
You want her to delete the guy on Fb
The more you act like her father the more she goes wild

trust me bro...what this girl has done because of this relationship is more than what I can say...let me not say much

2dice01:
His age already shows in his moniker

Ha.. Even a 20 years old can think better than this

StrongandMighty:
your relationship is heading towards it's natural death.. take heart bro

pls for any advice try backing it up with a reason so I can deduce on what to do

Bola146:


Ha.. Even a 20 years old can think better than this

ok ma

justine94:
pls for any advice try backing it up with a reason so I can deduce on what to do

forget all those jamburi she dey yarn the truth is that she's getting fade up with the relationship she wants to experience something new and at this stage there's little or nothing you can do about it ..
the guy has been in the picture and that's what is causing the relationship issues(once a girl starts being non chalant towards her relationship when her partner is still treating her with so much love and care then know that there's a new guy and that's a fact) and not that she was having issues in the relationship because of the things you said like the threats about leaving the relationship or even the slap, because ofcourse if she was acting right you wouldn't have made such statement or slapped her.
there's no point pushing this relationship man! break up with her, I know you still love her but just break up with her for the sake of your self respect because at the end of the day she'll still break up with you and heart break won't be funny on your part ...
do it now!

StrongandMighty:


forget all those jamburi she dey yarn the truth is that she's getting fade up with the relationship she wants to experience something new and at this stage there's little or nothing you can do about it ..
the guy has been in the picture and that's what is causing the relationship issues(once a girl starts being non chalant towards her relationship when her partner is still treating her with so much love and care then know that there's a new guy and that's a fact) and not that she was having issues in the relationship because of the things you said like the threats about leaving the relationship or even the slap, because ofcourse if she was acting right you wouldn't have made such statement or slapped her.
there's no point pushing this relationship man! break up with her, I know you still love her but just break up with her for the sake of your self respect because at the end of the day she'll still break up with you and heart break won't be funny on your part ...
do it now!

bro...you kind of really read my mind...all this you said ...I thought about them..

justine94:
bro...you kind of really read my mind...all this you said ...I thought about them..

just man up and do wetin I tell you it won't be easy for you but it's worth it...
she's at her hoeing stage so allow her to hoe in peace

op, I understand you are doing everything possible to secure your gf because you love her and you are so much emotionally attach to her. so, it will be very bad if someone else steal your gf from you.

your gf should know that the fb guy is just trying to act like a cool guy just to get her. Your gf not being wise and mature enough will think the guy is a cool guy and perhaps start having feeling for him (not natural feeling). I want you to know that your gf will cheat behind your back with that guy if you don't act fast.

if truly your gf loves you, she will cut all contact with the guy or any other guys that will cause her problem in her relationship. if she loves you, she will endure with your character and perhaps tell you where you go wrong when you accuse her wrongly or when you do things and you may be thinking you are doing the right thing.

there is always issues in every relationship but with open communication you guys can be able to see where your faults lies and how you can solve those issues. it seems there is no open communication in your relationship and I want to believe you are the only one that is communicating while your gf is not open with you.

Before I give you my little advice, I need to ask you some questions. What is your intention for this relationship, where will this relationship lead to? I have seen your age and you are no longer kids. What do you want for yourself, is she type of lady you will like to spend the rest of your life with? From your write ups I see few problems, why do you like using the relationship as a threat to her, you always threaten to leave the relationship each time you have issues with her. That is not good at all for your relationship. You are really confusing her. In her mind she is always afraid of you leaving the relationship. That is not good for the relationship, which is why she fell victim to the other guy who is trying to get to her. Why should you slap her, you have no right to lay your hands on her as you are not married to her, you are just in a relationship. Apologizing to her is OK but, it has not left her mind. She is still afraid that you may slap her again tomorrow when you have issues. You need to control your anger. Now concerning the morning which the other guy gave to her so as to lure her to himself, she has the option of either returning it to him or spending it. Asking her to block him on all social media outlets is also good to save your relationship, but may not be the ultimate solution. He may still visit her thinking that his trap has caught a big meat. You have to convince her with your intentions for the relationship if she is the type of lady you want as a wife and also marry her, to stop being afraid of you quitting the relationship. If you know that you will someday leave her, well if she OK with it which I doubt, then convince her that you will remain with her till the end of your relationship.

justine94:
no dictating. ..even b4 this issue came up...I know other guys chat her on fb asking her out saying they want to see her...I know all this. .I dey see am..but I just see it as normal stuff ...I don't own her so I can't say she should not talk to him ...but my question is ..is it right for your gf to still be in conversation with a guy who was giving her reasons to exist her relationship with the aim of asking her out. .which she nearly feel for...

One thing you should know my brother is we are all humans

Same way you fancy other girls
She also fancy them

Lol she nearly fall for bro you crack me up
Admit she likes the dude

She might be keeping him as backup plan when things goes South

Or already dating him too
She is still young
Girl wanna explore and its will look like you are caging her with this attitude

But be ready for Breakup anytime

Try having a beautiful female bestie

When you learn how to control your emotions nothing emotionally will stress you unnecessarily.