*.A man and a woman walked into a guest house and requested to spend d night there. The owner of the guest house, Mr Ben, who is a member of MFM refused to allow men and women stay together in his
hotel because of fornication. The woman explained; He is my son, Not my spouse and so they
checked in. After 30mins, Mr. Ben sent his maid to go and check if those folks were truly mother and son. The maid came back and said; Sir, she’s truly the mother. The Boss asked; How did you confirm? The maid Smiled; Sir I am sure, I saw her Breastfeeding the Man.

Adroid version A to K

A*.Alpha (1.0)
B*.Beta (1.1)
C*.Cupcake (1.5)
D*.Donut (1.6)
E*.Eclair (2.0–2.1)
F*.Froyo (2.2–2.2.3)
G*.Gingerbread (2.3–2.3.7)
H *. Honeycomb(3.0–3.2.6)
I *. Ice Cream Sandwich(4.0–4.0.4)
J *. Jelly Bean(4.1–4.3.1)
K *. KitKat(4.4–4.4.4)
L*. Android "L"(4.5) (Developer preview)

NIGERIA 54th semester report card:

Electricity...................E8
Education...................E8
Prostitution................A1
Good Road.................D7
stealing......................A1
Bombing....................A1
Creativity....................D7
Telecommunication....E8
Security......................F9
Corruption..................A1
Cash Embezzlement....A1
Leadership...................F9
Job opportunity...........F9
kidnaping(chibokgals)...A1

How do u see ds result?

Lol

Tunde
give a reason

Yea guy,

buhari deserve it
apparently he was
a good leader during
his regime we all know

Why I’m running for for president again — Buhari
----------------------------
According to him, “Today, we are in the 15th year of purposeless leadership by the PDP and all we have seen is unprecedented deterioration in the security and law and order situation, astronomical rise in the incidence and intensity of corruption, and in the failure of governance.
Do you think Gen. Buhari would win this time?
Read more: / p2LdGt-HVp
—

(●) (●)((((●)---(●))))(●) (●)
I'm d best after
my father whole soyinka
he taught lot , how i better both country u people keep-off
ghana is small villge
Nigeria place of prudent
(●) (●)((((●)---(●))))(●) (●)
morning pals

The Provisional Admissions into ND1 for 2014/2015 JAMB has been released on-line
Read more...visit

http://fedpoffaonline.net

Guess wu behind dat

PDP vs APC


Wu is niger delta
_____
wu is boko haram


Politics tinx ....:::

KADUNA - At least 82 persons were killed yesterday, and several others injured in two bomb blasts in Kaduna, targeted at former head of state, General Muhammadu Buhari (rtd) and an Islamic cleric, Sheikh Dahiru Bauchi. Both men, however, escaped unhurt.
In a statement he issued immediately after the incident, General Buhari declared that it was an assassination attempt and narrated how the suicide bomber tried to carry out the deadly assignment.
Kaduna State Governor, AlhajiMukhtar Ramalan Yero, in response imposed a 24-hour curfew on Kaduna town after the blasts.
In his reaction, President Goodluck Jonathan thanked God for sparing the lives of General Buhari and Sheikh Bauchi, and extended condolences to families of the dead, while commiserating with the injured.
The first bomb attack took place on Isa Kaita Road, off Ali Akilu road around 12:30pm, yesterday, when the convoy of Sheikh Dahiru Bauchi was returning home after he gave a Ramadan Tafsir sermon to thousands of Muslims of the Tijaniyya sect. The Police said 25 people were killed, but those who spoke to newsmen at the scene said about 40 died in the blasts.
Bauchi had escaped a bomb attack about three weeks ago near his home in Eskolia quarters of Kaduna.
The second blast took place around 2:30pm, about two kilometres away from the scene of the first blast at the busy over-head bridge at Kawo part of Kaduna town as Buhari was making his way out of town, leaving not less than 50 people dead.
Speaking to newsmen at the scene of the first attack, Kaduna State Police Commissioner, Umar Shehu said: "All I can say is that the Kaduna State Emergency Management Agency, SEMA, and Road Safety Corps have told me that they recovered 25 corpses from this place. But you can see that we still have some human remains here. I cannot tell you the number of those injured at this point. That is all I can say".
But that differed from what some eyewitnesses said. One Isa Saidu, 23, gave his account thus: "I was at the Murtala Mohammed Square where Sheikh Dahiru preached to us. I was also in the convoy conveying him back home. It was a long convoy. Suddenly, I saw a man on a motorcycle carrying a sack or bag. He was driving very recklessly and defied the instructions of our security guard, who attempted to make him slow down. He then tried to come close to the car conveying the Sheikh but the security did not allow

We are friend since 2005 any administrator since dat year

Here is the academic calendar for first
semester 2013/2014 academic session.... Official date for
resumption:: 23rd july 2014 ,,, Registration proper::- 24th july
2014------: Lecture proper::- 4th august 2014,,,,, Late
registration::-11th-22nd august 2014,,,, Academic board
meeting::- 12th august 2014,,,, Academic board meeting for
consideration of second semester exam::- 19th august 2014,,,
Orientation for new students::- 2nd-3rd september 2014,,,,
Matriculation::- 5th september,,,, End of first semester lecture::-
30th september,,, practical exam::- 6th october,,,,, first
semester examination::--13th-25th october 2014,,,, resumption
for second semester:: 3rd November. SUG wishes everyone
peaceful and crisis free academic stay on campus.

Banks In Nigeria Begs Central Bank To Restore The Suspended N100 ATM Service Fee

There are strong indications that commercial banks are lobbing the Central Bank of Nigeria to restore the N100 ATM service fee, which was earlier suspended by the apex bank in a bid to reduce the financial burden imposed on the customers.
Before the CBN’s suspension of the service charge, bank customers were made to pay N100 ATM maintenance fee for a single cash withdrawal from a machine belonging to another bank.
New Telegraph on Sunday learnt that banks had been groaning under the burden of maintaining the ATMs without commensurate charge on customers and had given hints to CBN to consider restoring it.
Giving an insight into the lobby, the Chief Executive Officer, Automated Information Services Ltd, Dr. Bowo Olateru-Olagbegi, told our correspondent that he had credible information that the new CBN Governor, Godwin Emefiele, was under intense pressure to restore the charge suspended by his predecessor, Mal-lam Lamido Sanusi, to enable them to deploy more machines. “The N100 ATM service charge is coming back.
What the CBN did was to reduce the burden on the customers and allowed the banks to pay the charges as part of their services to the customers due to the fact that the customers are already subjected to other service charges, including COT.
“CBN is the regulator and when it gives a directive, you obey first and then complain and lobby. That’s what the banks are doing, especially now that the new CBN governor has a banking background and understands their plight.
If they don’t generate income from the ATM, they will get it from other charges, such as excess COT. “Top banks are mounting pressure on the CBN to reserve it. Their argument is that the N100 was a bit convenient for customers to pay than joining a long queue in the banking halls.
They argued that the customers were willing to pay and never complained. CBN decided to reduce the burden on the customers,” he said. Olateru-Olagbegi said it costs money to deploy and maintain ATMs, saying these were eating into the banks’ profits.
He said this meant the deployment of fewer ATMs, noting that when the device is turned into an income generating infrastructure, more of it would be deployed. An employee of a leading bank in the country told New Telegraph on Sunday that most banks are losing revenue due to the cancellation of the fee.
He said they were spending their resources on ATM inter-bank settlement and maintenance, which is the resultant effect of excess COT because the banks have to recoup that money in one way or the other.
New Telegraph on Sunday’s efforts to obtain comments from a number of banks failed as several calls put across to their officials were not responded to. They did not also respond to text messages sent to their phones. It was the same with CBN spokesman, Isaac Okoroafor.
However, CBN’s Consumer Protection Department, which responded, said it was not aware of such a plan. “Such information does not exist in this department, and since it is not contained in any circular within this section, it didn’t emanate from the Consumer Protection Department,” the email said.
An ex-President of the Chartered Institute of Bankers of Nigeria and the Managing Director, Maxifund Investment and Securities Plc., Okechukwu Unegbu, said there is nothing wrong with the policy if the banks are lobbying CBN to return the N100 service charge.
He said that everywhere such services are conducted in the world, certain charges are paid to enable them to maintain the machines.
The ex-bank chief said, “I don’t envy the banks. These facilities are expensive to maintain. They are electronic service providers and the owners pay rent where they are installed, pay for installation and security among others.
I don’t see anything wrong in it, more especially, when the CBN wants to stop COT charges. “I wonder why they removed it in the first place.
I have no issues with this but my quarrel is with the banks that still charge COT on that after charging N100 service fee.
But I believe that the fee should be a cost recovery and not another means of milking the customers further.”
In the same manner, a professor of Political Economy and a director at Lagos Business School, Pat Utomi, said he was aware of such policy, saying that such fees are being charged all over the world for ATM transactions.
He said, “Last week in the United States, I used two banks ATM, which are not my banks, and the machines charged me $3 for each of the transactions. So, the service fee is universal. But what is charged depends on how much per a unit of transaction for the shared bank structure. “If the both banks have a shared platform, then, the cost would come to nothing.

;(
According to eyewitnesses, the man pictured above
identified as Rasaki Adebayo was on Wednesday July 9th
caught inside the Awo Hall of the Obafemi Awolowo
University Ile-Ife in Osun state, trying to set up
explosives. He was caught with what looked like petrol
mixed with chemical. The students said he was trying to
blow up a block in the hall. The man was immediately
arrested and is still in police custody.

na only u waka come
na only u go waka go hell B)

ASUP and COEASU strikesThis is certainly a palatable news to all students of the colleges of education as indication emerged yesterday, that the striking members of the Colleges of Education Academic Staff Union (COEASU) may suspend their nine-month strike next Tuesday, 15th July, 2014 following a planned intervention by the Joint Governing Boards of Colleges of Education.
The Chairman, Governing Boards of Colleges of Education, Senator Emmanuel Anosike, when speakin in Abuja yesterday said members of the boards had taken it upon themselves to act as intermediaries between the union and the government to resolve the strike.
He disclosed that a meeting would hold between members of the boards, the union, representatives of the government and the National Commission for Colleges of Education (NCCE), next Tuesday at 11a.m. “The members of the boards would take it upon themselves to ensure that whatever resolutions are reached, are implemented by government,” he said.
“The meeting would discuss all the grey areas, present the report to the minister, hold a press briefing after wards and COEASU would call off the strike hopefully. If we decide to wait and follow the pattern the ministry is using, there is the tendency that we will wait a bit longer before the strike is called off,” Anosike said.
“We have a law that says that if you do not work, you will not be paid. The government implemented it, but has said if they suspend the strike and return to the classroom, the arrears would be paid. The Minister of Education has been saying that,” Anosike said. He also clarified that the union was concerned about the non-victimisation of its member for having participated in the nine-month strike.
;x ;-x

Ho boy i av suggest be4
but now u almos hit d bomb
tanx guy, i wil , hop is nt goin to hang again ;x

Car u need to buy @ 2014
B)

1 Ford
2 Chevrolet
3 Toyota
4 Honda
5 Nissan
6 Dodge D;
7 Volkswagen
8 Hyundai
9 BMW
10 Jeep

. :X

BOMB sure , just step away pls :*

from Nigeria to benin republic is now #1200

take a car##700 or bus#500 from mile 2
to seme #700 or #500 lyk 2hr bcuz 100 plus security , seme is a boarder between naija and benin
when u reach seme that is d place u wil be able to withdrawn from ur bank either Naira or Cfa general know as XOF is 4 french west african exchange

or

u can take a car or bus direct benin repub, but too expenses

List Of new States approved by the ongoing National Conference:

Apa from Niger State,
kainji from Kebbi,
Katagum from Bauchi,
Savannah from Borno,
Amana from Adamawa,
Gurara from Kaduna,
Ghari from Kano,
Etiti from South East,
Aba from Abia,
Adada from Enugu,
Njaba from Anambra and Imo,
Anioma fror Delta state,
Ogoja from Cross River State,
IJebu from Ogun State and
New Oyo State from the present Oyo State.

@ jokingmary
how pls ;(

All are

*.Android alpha (1.0)
*.Android beta (1.1)
*.Cupcake (1.5)
*.Doughnut (1.6)
*.Eclair (2.0–2.1)
*.Froyo (2.2–2.2.3)
*.Gingerbread (2.3–2.3.7)
*.Honeycomb (3.0–3.2.6)
*.Ice Cream Sandwich (4.0–4.0.4)
*.Jelly Bean (4.1–4.3.1)
*.KitKat (4.4–4.4.4)
*. "L" release(developer preview

these are all android { OS }
which means operating system as 2day

the best OS u need buy now start 4m { icecream sandwich 4.Ov UP to 4.4.4v kikat }or Lolipop as new version 5.0v

which include 1 GRAM for more speed or above 2,3,4,

rathan than 512 RAM
.
.

Akpors =>was attacked by malaria, so his friend
johnny =>
advised him 2 go
and buy Anti-malaria so he could recover.
Wen he got 2 d pharmaceutical shop,
Akpors => requested
Anti-malaria $ d man gav him, afta taking d drug
Akpors => did not recover. He den again goes 2 d shop, Akpors said; hey man d
Anti-malaria
u gav me no work at all.Please, make una give me { UNCLE-
MALARIA }i think it's stronge dan anti-malaria.
:x %) ;x

1) Try to get on level ground. Put your seat belt on once you get in. While learning, it's better to roll down the windows. This helps to better hear the engine sound and adjust the gear changes accordingly.
2)
Identify the pedals. In a manual car, there are three.
The one on the far left is the clutch , the middle one is the brake, and then the gas/accelerator is on the far right (CBA). This layout is the same for both left hand drive and right hand drive vehicles.
3)
Learn what the clutch does:
The clutch disengages the spinning engine from the spinning wheels and allows you to switch gears without grinding the teeth of each separate gear.
Before you switch gears (moving up or down), the clutch must be depressed.
4)
Adjust the seat position forward enough to allow you to press the clutch pedal (the left pedal, next to the brake pedal) fully to the floor with your left foot.
5)
Press the clutch pedal and hold it to the floor. This would also be a good time to take note of how the travel of the clutch pedal differs from that of the brake and gas, and it is a good idea to get used to slowly and steadily releasing the clutch pedal.
6)
Move the gear shift knob to neutral. This is the middle position that feels free when moved from side to side. The vehicle is considered out of gear when:
the gear shift is in the neutral position,or
the clutch pedal is fully depressed.
7)
Start the engine with the key, making sure to keep the clutch pedal held to the floor.

Once the engine is started, you can remove your foot from the clutch pedal (as long as it is in neutral).
9)
Press the clutch to the floor again and move the gear shift knob to first gear. It should be the upper left position, and there should be some kind of visual layout of the gear pattern on top of the gear shift knob.
10)
Slowly lift your foot up from the clutch pedal until you hear the engine speed begin to drop, then push it back in. Repeat this several times until you can instantly recognize the sound. This is the friction point.
11)
In order to get moving, lift your foot up from the clutch pedal until the RPMs (revs) drop slightly and apply light pressure to the accelerator (GAS). Balance the light downward pressure on the accelerator with slowly releasing pressure on the clutch pedal. You will probably have to do this several times to find the right combination of pressure up and down. Another way of doing it is to release the clutch until the moment during which the engine revs down a little and then applying pressure on the accelerator as the clutch engages. At this point the car will start to move. It is best to have the engine rev just enough to prevent stalling as the clutch pedal is let up. This process may be a little difficult at first because you are new to the 3 pedals in manual. Always be ready to pull the hand brake to stop in emergency till you have learned.
If you release the clutch too quickly the car will stall. If the engine sounds like it is going to stall, then hold the clutch where it is or even push it further in slightly. Excessive engine speed while the clutch is between fully up and fully depressed will wear out the clutch parts prematurely resulting in slippage or smoking of the clutch parts at the transmission.
12)
When driving, when your RPM reaches about 2500 to 3000, it is time to shift into second gear. Remember though that it depends fully on the car you are driving what RPM the tachometer will reach before you must change gear. Your engine will begin to race and speed up, and you must learn to recognize this noise. Apply pressure downward on the clutch pedal andand guide the gear shift knob straight down from 1st gear into the bottom left position.
Some cars have a "Shift Light" or indications on the speedometer that will tell you when you need to shift so you don't rev the engine too fast.
13)
Push down on the gas very slightly and slowly release the clutch pedal.
14)
Once in gear and on the gas you should completely remove your foot from the clutch pedal. Resting your foot on the clutch pedal is a bad habit, and applies pressure to the clutch mechanism — the increased pressure could allow the clutch to wear prematurely.
15)
When you have to stop, release right foot off accelerator to the brake pedal and press down as much as required and as you slow to about 10 mph you will feel the car about to start shaking and vibrating. Press the clutch pedal fully down and move the gear shift to neutral to prevent stalling.
16)
Once you have mastered it, driving a manual is fun. You now can rev the engine in any gear for a sportier feel or for a greener pace choose to shift gears at lower rpms.

The story OF GEJ AND WIFE
IT Complicate to post
but no joice

1 word for them
.

Akpors and his wife were arguing about man and woman,

who is greater?..

Wife: Men are the head, but women are the neck. Without the neck, the head cannot stand. Men were created out of dust, but women were created out of flesh. And flesh is stronger than the dust. Finally, anything men do, a woman can do better, and in the life of any successful man there must be a woman.
Akpors: A woman is not complete without a man, because you cannot spell "woMan" without "Man". You cannot spell "sHe" without "He". Nor "Mrs" without "Mr", nor "mAdam" without "Adam". And why is it that we say "AMEN" in the church instead of "Awomen"?

Who is more persuasive, Akpors or his wife?:x

I bought myself PS2 , am used memory card and flash i downloaded lyk 3 game instead of using disk , after 2 years later suddely i discover that is hang
.
Any idea

I bought myself BB bold3 but i download 1 application ;( {Swipe jeally bean lock } which lock d phone automatic but i can't unlock back again ;( Since a month
help me out of dis mess
.let share idea ;( ;(
.

How many (km) 4rm Ib - lag,
Can i run upto 150km or 200km per hour
:@
if yes, GEJ u almost hit d stone
if No, u ar totally enervate

Asap pls