₦airaland Forum

dayokanu:
So how does the man know that you are capable of contributing your own 50% and not just looking for who would shoulder all your financial burden?

A man should not even be thinking of that on the first date, I do not know where you have been brought up but with most african men who have been properly train about women do not think of 50/50 financial wise and the woman should not think of homemaker 50/50

BTW I am not nigerian,

ragdollz:
Guys don't seem to understand that when it comes to "life partner", a girl acts differently. If it's my long-time bf and we plan to settle, a lot of things will have turned 50-50. But a guy who just asked me out a few weeks/months ago, expecting me to be "grateful" for his attention in this "competitive" era, by paying half of my own dinner(which HE asked me out to), then I see no prospect in dat affair. What next, buy me a Val/birthday present, then send me the receipt so we can split the costs?? HABA!!!

exactly

2buff:
^^ Anyone knows naija tradition is more materialistic than possibly any other culture in the world.
Here (I'm not in naija), most girls don't really care what car you're driving or how much money you plan on stuffing down their throat.
They were brought up differently and with different values.

And as to the whole gold digger no go make am obvious point, again, only mugus fall for it if a girl they had respect regarding a certain aspect suddenly starts to change in behavior.
My mom didn't raise a mugu. I can smell a vagenda a mile away. 

Plus, you know a woman of virtue from her deeply analysed behavior and external character references.

Now that is where you have lied

dayokanu:
^^ there is something wrong with that.

If i have a daughter i would tell her to pay for everything and never depend on a man to pay for anything.

If i am spending equal money sending both of them(Boy and girl) to school why should one now depend on one for ANYTHING.

How come I didnt see this much vitriol directed at Uju's post which was similar to mine only addressed to the other gender.

Can you now spell HYPOCRITE?

Noone is talking about depending where did you get that from?? Its like this keep your own money for a rainy day eat the mans

Natasha the topic has been derailed from what it original question was all my post been in responds to your unconditional love thing, alright?
I do not have to answer it because for me the feeling of love is indescribable so that is why I did not comment on that Your post caught my eye

ragdollz:
Woah this is the first time I'm hearing that a gurl is expected to pay for her own food during a date. Huh?! Hmmn, the relationship was WHOSE idea, by the way?? You ask a girl out, to be your gf etc, and then act like u're doing her a favour. If u can't afford the rab for a decent meal, I wonder what you can afford as a man

you have simplified my point for these blockheads, Cheers

2buff:
^^ you're not getting it sis.

It's not about not being able to pay. Any solid guy should be able to pay for him and his date without sweat. I make it a thing to pay for all my dates, but the only girls(white)  that really impressed [/b]me were the ones who made the effort to want to pay for their meal. Of-course I was like "don't be silly " and paid it all, but [b]something [/b]happened there.

This was impressive and mature, and I'm sorry as it seems you can never really understand this.
This became a girl I deeply wanted to get to know on a soul level as the [b]vibe(very important) she emitted was one of "I don't care about this guy's pockets. I care about what he's about".

No you do not seem to understand when golddigger want to hit she nuh go make am obvious she will calmly act like she wants to offer to pay,
It has nothing to do with maturity

My views are traditional to yours so good luck to you and your white girl, Take care of your own and I will mine

2buff I have self respect and I am financially stabled but this has nothing to do with just paying the restaurant if you cannot pay for my mouth when we go out do not ask to take me out for dinner or whatever take me somewhere were you don't have to spend your money but you are still expected to pay when we go out as my boyfriend

Like I said you should be ashamed if a girl gives you money and you take it just like a woman should be ashamed if she sees her man taking a broom sweeping and she does not stop him,

Ranoscky:
My sista, before a guy takes a gal out, he knows what his plans are after every-every, k? You can see that YOU is justifying your act here!
!

I do not lay my legs open after a guy has paid

Ranoscky:
A wife is brought into the house for home responsibilities, while a sex-peddler is being paid for sex! And you said a guy that doesnt have money should not take a gal out, right? GOOD! Now, on what stance should a guy take you out? Are you in love with his money or inlove with the man himself? Is it until he ask's you to?Ya! He is a REAL MAN b'cos the FOUNDATION is there. But, if it's not there, then he is a FANTASY man, right?Now, lets do the remix!

If you want to take a girl out you have to have money for both of you

Why would I be in love with the guy when this is our first date,
Since you say the guy knows what his plans are after the meal then I know my plans for the meal,

Yes he is a fantasy man,  How can you ask a girl for a date and take her and not pay for both of you?

I will not be with a husband who I know has no money or motivation to make money,  I am not a gold digger but I want us to enjoy the finer things in life equally from both of us,  I am not going to be in a one sided marriage.

Ok this is it,  We are equals but to an extent. I see the husband to be the person who controls the financial aspects of the marriage, top of the household, when he says this it should be done,when he says cooks you should when he says clean you should etc etc, He has to be in control.

For me how I know a man is in control is that gesture of paying straight away when we go out without him waiting to find out if I will pay my own half. It is not about the money again I repeat it is the knowing that my family will be sustained and taken cared off.I have more respect for those sort of men,  God did not make woman before man he made man before woman,  It is a mans responsibility to take care of the female not only financially but in other things as well,  But now since men expect women to pay there meal all that is going does not work anymore,  The reason why men don't get respect from their wives its because they both doing the same thing, If she is at work and he is at work and he comes home to tell the wife to clean and cook. You will expect her to do it because she is the woman,  Just like you are the man,  you are meant to control the financial issues,  I would not expect my man to cook or clean or do anything that is virtually a woman's task unless for romance, even not marriage I do not expect to go to my boyfriend's house see dirty house and bowls and not clean it,  It spoils my mood when I see a man cleaning or washing dishes or whatever a woman should be doing. Just like that a woman and a man have roles to play,  With that said I know my role and he should know his role to pay when we go out,
.
Maybe its the way I have been brought up,
In my family when a man wants one of the girls we expect him to take us all out( Not all the family members a selected few) and pay for all each mouth,  He does not have to be rich rich but just be able to feed 5-6 mouths

If you do not want to pay for your babes tab that is your business but for me I expect you to pay

2buff:
This is where you (and a whole lot of you) fail to understand the dynamics behind this.
It's like one of those little things a girl observes from reading a guy that he isn't aware of, but that little thing could thumbs up or thumbs down her general opinion of him.

It's not about not affording [/b]anything. It's about two mature, independent [b]strangers [/b]getting to know each other. And please don't try to play that whole "he asked me out" card. If the guy didn't ask you out, you'd be crying and roting in your room going "why doesn't anybody ask me out?". He did you as much a favor asking you out as you did him going out with him. It's better to plan to pay your own food, to which the guy can then offer to foot the bill on his own, than to be staring at his face when they put the bill on the table. To anyone but a mugu, that behavior would register in his mind as you being prone to gold diggery, which is a turn off for a serious guy, no matter how rich he is.

During the first few dates, it is important that this girl shows me she is not primarily interested in my gifts and money or me paying her way through life, but takes a genuine interest in [b]me as a person. The same way you as a girl would want to make sure this guy has a genuine interest in you as a person prior to getting intimately close. Some Naija girls (even the ones that don't live in naija anymore) fail to understand that they are in a very globally competitive market right now, and so need to re-evaluate their dating behaviors.

A naija guy doesn't know what he is missing until he dates a good white chick.

If you believe that by paying a meal for the girl on the first date means she is a gold digger then goodluck with you,

If you meet me somewhere and take me my number and then ask me for a date but then do not pay that is a done deal for me,

I am not a gold digger I do not need you to present me with gifts for me to go out with you all I say is just pay when we go out

This is very simple to answer naturally menopause comes with age, Its a done deal, there are ups and downs with who gets it but it basically is associated with carrying on with age,

excuse me,

I do not need a man's money but I need to know if if you can financially afford for me because  if it comes to marriage can he can put in as much as I put in,

I do not expect him to shower me with gifts and money all I ask for when you take me out just pay without being asked is there anything wrong with that geez,

you have confused your self with what I have written,  The reason why I need to know if a man can take care of me is because i need to know if he can put in as much as I put in in marriage,
If am married I will put in half but if he cannot put in why should I be with him,  That is the whole reason why I said in the beginning if i  know that you can put in half then my mind will be at rest,

I do not except another human being to take care of me but I do except my man to* the knowing he can*

dayokanu:
Are the women babies or minors that needs to be taken care of?

Why cant a woman take care of herself and the man take care of himself?

I am traditional about these things, If a man marries me I would expect him to put in as much as I would put in but if we are just relationship I would not expect to pay because if you want to marry me you will have to be able to provide,
Off course if it occasions like valentines, birthdays etc I would happily get something for him but in the case where he ask to take me out why should I paid , abi na me ask to take him out?
A man should be ashamed if a woman offers you the money and you take it
As for the children if we do not look after them who will?

dayokanu:
So now what differentiates you from a hooker?

A hooker needs to be paud for her sexual services, You also claim you need to be paid for your sexual services

Please abeg yu sa ful nuh spoil me wordings for me, I did not write I get paid for sexual services,

Ranoscky:
If som1 should pay before 'doing' sex-peddler, they should aslo pay before doing U? Then whats the difference?

Paying for foodand paying for sex are two different things  ,

So are you saying that a man paying a bride price is the same as doing a love-peddler because after the man as paid the bride price sex is indeed in the books,

I Have never asked my boyfriend for money when we go out he pays and I have never asked for him to pay, Although I do not need his money that foundation should be there because thats what makes him a real man. I like men who know they are men and  should take care of their babe even if the babe don't need looking after.

I am very traditional when it comes to this

lol

dayokanu:
Why cant the babe pay for herself? Is she born to depend on other ppl?

I am sure the man you are asking to pay for you has the same brains as you the same hand as you so Why do you need a fellow human being to pay for you

If you cannot afford to pay my meal why ask me out? Like I wrote on the other thread it is all about future stability, Unless I wear the trousers in the relationship the man should be the man and provide for the woman and even if the woman has money of her own they man should still offer to pay,
If you cannot afford to pay for a babe I do not think you should be with her,

What if she calls you back quicktime and it rings she will know you lied

dayokanu:
Then watch me as I eat if you cant pay for food going to your own belly

If you cannot afford to pay for me why ask to take me out, silly men

Ranoscky:
Sign out of fantasy and sign in to reality!

what fantasy?  I don't do fantasy,  Fantasy is for a man who cannot afford for his babe

I can afford for myself but I need to know if you can take care of me also, Like I said in the beginning, you have to be up to game because I will not be with anyone who cannot show that they can take of me, If you cannot take care of me what about our children are you going to rely on me? you dey mad, Its not about me not being able to look after myself cause I have been doing it before you came along but I need assurance that our future is stabled.

I have also replied

You can love your man /woman unconditionally and still cheat or even leave them, Unconditional love does not mean you have to be together,
God forbid my husband/man gets in such and accident but I was giving it to show my point, I care and love my man very deeply but I am not going to sit here and say I will be there when such thing happens although at the moment I will say I would but it has not happened and such things can put strains on relationships especially if its a case where it affects the Instruments, I will not know unless It has happened and I pray it does not happen and by leaving him does not mean it was a conditional love, You can love but still walk away

Ranoscky:
As princess Diana or what?

lol yes?

lool, No I do not but in the beginning I have to know whether you can afford me and my maintenance,

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=643605.msg8102359#msg8102359 date=1302534102]Girl, did you EVEN registered for any of those classes?  What the doctor have to do with those ladies who are SUFFERING from menopause?  I said nothing about maturity nor that there was anything abnormal about women in their 20's being infertile.  Please do not add words that I didn't say  to make your point.

Yeah, you should be bored with all that searching and googling.[/quote]I used maturity meaning women in their prime, The doctor is involved if the postmenopausal woman wants to have children, I did take biology and I was not told it was normal for a 20 year to hit menopause,

I am bored because of your dumb self going over and over and over what we have talked about already,

How can menopause be an ailment when it is a natural occurrence?

might as well say puberty is an ailment

Just because your cycle is not regular does not mean it has anything to do with menopause. There are other factors that can contribute to infertility in young women,  Menopause is  a natural process that happens as you carry on age,  I will say again 20=menopause is not normal, there is something wrong somewhere that affected your hormones,


AND FYI I did not put in any ailments that comes with age, We are talking about menopause not ailments