₦airaland Forum

Ladycloud:
nyc one dear! if all guyz fink this way...d world will be a better place!

Hmm Sure

PromiseAndre:
Nice bro! you've made ma day beautiful already...

Thanks

A Letter To Single Men
Hey guys, how are you doing? How has life fared
with you lately?


The hustle and bustle of becoming a man ain't
an easy job, I must confess! But with God and
diligence in fulfilling purpose, we'll get there.


I write this letter to you to point out some things
which you ought to know before marriage or as
you continue in that relationship.


This letter is strictly for men, not boys or players.
First concerning how you treat ladies. I know
quite alright that ladies are emotional only few
are not. Please, don't take advantage of that and
inflict emotional pain on them.


If you know she's not going to be your wife,
there’s no point promising her heaven and earth
just to get her in bed.
If you think you're smart, your smartness cannot
prevent the nemesis or daring consequences that
would one day catch up with you.


It's better you avoid the consequences of an
action because of its few minutes pleasure than
to face its agony and regrets in the near future.
What are you doing about your life and future? I
know it's trendy to go clubbing and indulge in all
youthful exuberance. See, life doesn't go on a
stretch forever and every time wasted cannot be
recovered.


If at age 30 or close to it, you haven't define your
life or you're still depending on friends, family or
relatives, you need to work on yourself.


Where do you put God in your life? Consider God
in the time of your youth before it's too late.
Many of you who turned back on God will
someday run back to Him for help. If you cannot
dance to the devil's music, it's better you start
learning God's steps.
Hear this guys, love isn't sex! Don't tell a lady to
prove her love to you because you want to have a
'taste' of her. I know everyone is going haywire
with premarital sex but you can choose to
abstain.


Apart from it being sin against God, it will make
you vulnerable to STDs and some problems
'rubber' cannot prevent.
It doesn't matter if she calls you names if you
choose to abstain, or you become an object of
mockery amongst your friends, run for your dear
life.


Think about your future and life hereafter. Don't
give your strength to strange women, preserve it
for your wife.


Have you discovered your purpose in life? That
very reason why God has created you?
Jumping from one lady to another without
discovering your purpose on earth will make you
miserable and waste away in life.


Know your purpose in life and be on track to
attain it's fulfillment before you think of going
into a relationship. It's not difficult, it would
only prevent you from distraction.


Watch the company of friends you keep. Are they
contributing positively to your life or they are
emptying you of virtues and opportunities?
It's not a must you hang out with friends if you
do not benefit from them. You can stand alone
with God and make lasting impact than to keep
dozens of friends with no footprints in the sand
of time.


Man up guys! Build your financial, spiritual,
mental and emotional life. Only a crazy man
beats a woman even if she pushed you to the
wall. There is a button of patience to press to
control your anger.
Work on your mental development. Read good
books to acquire knowledge and skill. Get
intimate with God so that your wife wouldn't
become a victim of false prophets or you become
a spiritual babe in handling matters of life at the
homefront.


My guy, you're going to be a father someday.
Don't do the things you wouldn't be proud of
your son to emulate or would want anyone to do
to your daughter.


If you wouldn't want to leave a bad legacy for
your unborn children, don't tread the path now.
I'd have love to tell you more but I believe you
know the importance of life and time and I'm
constrained due to space.


Don't waste away chasing every Tom, Dick and
Harry for sex. Conserve your energies and
channel it into a more productive cause in life.
I hope the few wise ones would treasure this
letter, share it or send it to a friend.


Thank you for your anticipated response as you
make amends in areas where necessary.

When ur grandma frm d village uses ur new iPhone 6 as a candle stand

1. Waving at someone you think you know but
actually don’t.

2. Holding the door open for someone far
away and forcing them to run over.

3. Replying to someone you think is talking to
you, but actually they’re on their Bluetooth.

4. Pulling a door that says “push” and vice-
versa.

5. When you’re caught without your glasses or
contacts and the people around you are just
moving blurs of flesh.

6. When your server says, “Enjoy your meal!”
and you reply, “Thanks, you too!”

7. Telling a joke but then forgetting the punch
line halfway through.

8. Grabbing a pole on public transportation but
then holding someone else’s hand.

9. Saying goodbye to someone then realizing
they’re going the same way as you.


10. Walking on a crowded sidewalk and
inadvertently swinging your hand into
someone’s crotch.

11. Using your phone in the bathroom and
leaving the sounds on for everyone to hear.

12. A: “How’re you?” B: “Doing well! How about
you?” A: “Good, thanks. You?”

13. Typing out a text/email in a rush and
sending it to the wrong person.

14. Facebook stalking someone and accidentally
liking their profile picture from six years ago.

15. Going in for a hug but all the person
wanted was a handshake.
kindly add urs

FBIolalusi:
There is need to be careful when taking fruit juices (whatever the make – foreign or local).

A friend of my just got this from his wife.

u don't have to conclude fast, u might have an adulterated or expired product #justsaying

ladies how do u react When a guy touches your bosoms accidentally in public. it could b at the bus terminal or even at an ATM center and other places like that, u know nw?

Hahahahahaha!
Do u know why I'm
laughing? I just
remembered some funny
names we (I and my
classmates) used to call
our teachers when we
were in secondary school.
Mehn! It was fun.
Sometimes when those
memories flash back to
my brain, I feel like going
back to school.
Let me give you the
breakdown of some funny
names we called our
teachers (can't remember
all, though).
CHEMISTRY teacher =
OXYGENATOR (Reason: He
always talks about
oxygen).
BIOLOGY teacher =
OSMOSIS (Reason: He love
teaching osmosis).
AGRIC teacher = BEAUTY
(Reason: Dis man ugly
pass devil).
ACCOUNT teacher =
BULALA (Reason: If dis
man flog u, you go hate
school).
MATHS teacher = ALGEBRA.
C.R.K teacher = GOOD
SAMIRITAN (Reason: Very
stingy man).
GOVERNMENT teacher =
PDP (Reason: He always
talk politics)
These are some I can
remember.
What about you? Did you
give funny names to all/
some of your teachers?
Please tell us.
Don't Spoil the fun... Share to your friends and
get crazy answers... Lol!!!

Dear God, Give me the nature of JIM IYKE never
to allow intimidation, a heart like RAMSEY's to
love my woman but please a wife like OMOTOLA,
not like FUNKE AKINDELE who'll beat me up and
throw me out, a mother-in-law like NGOZI
EZEONU and not PATIENCE OZOKWO biko
chineke, a father-in-law like PETE EDOCHIE and
not CHINWETALA AGU that will swear for me. A
tolerant heart like KENNETH OKONKWO's, please
God, do not give me a maid as Curvy as MERCY
JOHNSON, oluwa i beg you.
Please if i have TONTO DIKE among my children,
please may my wife abort her before i meet her,
give me the Wealth of OLU JACOBS because i
have never seen him poor. I need neighbours
like MR IBU and CHARES INOJIE so laughter
won't depart from me, I need smart male
children like CHINEDU IKEDIEZE and OSITA
IHEME but with height, give me wisdom like
NKEM OWOH, and oluwa i beg you to pls crown
it all with a long life like that very old man that
told the story of IGODO.....Amen
Say Amen oh!!!

Jesters dey oo, those who dey play around with d invigilators

Types of people in exam hall.
The gurus/ efiko : exam seems to be so easy for
this category of student due to their exceptional
academic knowledge.
Some of them use less than an hour while other
are sweating for 2 hours.
Their pen moves steady and faster from the
commencement of exam to the end.
Their books are always filled with many solution.

The phone a friend type: these are people that
gather other student idea to complete their
examination question.
You can always see them turning their necks,
bending head left and right and asking different
question.
Peter provide no 1 answer, the girl in blue will
provide the no 2, while the guy at the back will
provide no 3 answer.
I find this so annoying and most of then tend to
have good result.

The Olodos (dull student ) chaii, Imagine a
candidate who submit the answer booklet, the
way it was provided by the examiner, the only
essential difference is the candidate name that
was written on the answer booklet.
Sitting down with people in this category is
always strange.
U go con dey wonder if this people no dey open
their book.

The Sharp guyz: alway looking for a way to
commit exam malpractice by taking advantage of
the loopholes provided by the examiner.
You may find answers on their hand, lap, a small
sheet of paper, including their boxers and pants.
People in this category does not care the type of
exam they are writing.
They will always find a means of taking expo into
the hall.

The photocopy machine : less I forget, I
remember the candidate that fall to this
category,
This candidate will copy everything on your
answer booklet including your Name.
Chaii, I have encounter this category of people
twice.
Ever since then I will prefer to cover my name
whenever I sit close to people in this category.

The Stars : this category of candidate want to
show everyone how good they are.
But I guess not everybody are good.
Submitting before every other candidate in the
exam hall does not transform to success Every
time.
Some student will intentionally involve in this
approach so as to get audience and viewers.

The Talkers: they gossip before the exam, saying
all sort of things and this category of people will
not stop talking even after the exam, they can give
summaries.of what happened before, during and after
the examination.
Abeg add urs too

Who is smarter?
Three University student didn't
write an exam because they did
not study. They came up with a
plan, got themselves dirty using
grease then went to see the Dean.
"Sir we are sorry we couldn't
make it to then exam.
We attended a wedding and on
our way back the car broke down
thus we became so dirty as you
can see."
The Dean understood and gave
them three days to prepare. After
three days they went to the Dean
very ready for the exam because
they had studied.
The Dean put them in there
separate classes.
There were only four questions in
the exam paper:
1. Who and who got married? (25
mks)
2. Where was the reception held?
(25mks)
3. Where exactly did the car break
down? (25mks)
4. What type of car broke down?
(25mks)
If you are those guys how will you answer these questions?
Note: Your answers must be the
same. Good luck!

Only a courageous woman can fry a bunch of
plantain without tasting any - Albert Macauley
(1872)

He who says nothing lasts forever has never
tried Hausa perfume - Nelson Mandela (1973)

He who completely unwraps moimoi and gala
before eating cannot keep a secret - Abraham
Lincoln (1864)

Any man that uses his teeth to cut shaki from
pepper soup, with his eyes wide open, is not
afraid of anything - Williams Shakespeare
(1900)

Anyone who graduates without experiencing a
strike, has never been to Nigeria - Lord Lugard
(1904)

He who refuses to mix agege bread and akara
as a type of sandwich is a racist - Martin
Luther King jnr (1788)

Any man who drinks Alomo bitters without
squeezing his face, is capable of murder -
Michael Faraday (1899)

Drinking Garri doesn't mean u're poor, but
allowing the Garri to swell b4 drinking is
poverty - Queen Elizabeth (1893)

He who runs around looking 4 scissors to cut
indomine seasoning sachet is not hungry - Dr
Nnamdi Azikiwe (1947)

No matter how hot your temper is, it cannot
cook yam - Goodluck Jonathan (2013)
Happy Eid
Mubarak!
Add. yours

MzMariah: Yes na.

don't think that's possible cause d wife should give it to d husband whenever he needs it....just an opinion sha o

husbands raping their wives, is this possible? I heard woman saying she was beaten and raped by her husband, can rape happen between married fellas ? opinions needed

tanke which means he that bounces

pussyaddict: Shoo! E be like say u be ajebutter

I trust myself. Try mix okro with ogbonna -nice combination dat goes with poundo yam. My gf catches me with dat..ekiti girl. Ewedu is another lovely soup.

I like draw soup a lot. Got it from my maternal grandmum who also trained us with ikokore-an egba delicacy.

Efo elegusi mixed with eja gbigbe or efo riro mixed with eja yiyan is also nice

Locust bean (iru) plays a big role in all these soups

Lol I just hate it

please wats d time

kennygee: Why?

it irritates me especially okra soup

kennygee: I grew up in a family where draw soup is the order of the day.

Ewedu, okro, dried okro, Kuka, ogbono, name it.

I know alot of women who also complain when their man is the type who doesn't eat draw soup.

Let the recipes roll in people, let's help each other.

What kind of soups comes to mind for men like this?

Apart from Egusi and vegetable.

I don't like draw soup too

Australian negotiator, Davis, who has been
a middleman between the leadership of the
Boko Haram sect and FG, has pleaded with
the group to see the death of their leader as
an avenue to put an end to their operations
in Nigeria.
In the interview, he made it known that
none of the people mentioned as Boko
Haram sponsors were in anyway
corroborated by any political party and that
no political party has also been pointed at
by Boko Haram to be a fueling source for
the group.
Below are excerpts from the Punch
interview:
A senior member of the European
Parliament, Franz Obermayr, alleged that
the opposition party in Nigeria could be
sponsoring Boko Haram by channeling
European Parliament financial aid to Boko
Haram in the North East of Nigeria. Do you
have any such evidence?
I have never heard any political party
mentioned by any Boko Haram leader as
funding or being associated with Boko
Haram.
The Boko Haram commanders have only
mentioned individuals like former Governor
Sheriff. I heard Sheriff was APC and now
PDP but that is irrelevant to me.
I have never mentioned political parties in
my discussions with Boko Haram. The
names of individual sponsors were given by
Boko Haram leaders, not their political
party association.
What sort of sponsorship has been
mentioned by Boko Haram that they have
received?
Former governor Sheriff was specifically
mentioned many times. Specifically for
example, Sheriff was mentioned as
sponsoring trips of the boys to the Lesser
Hajj. There, the boys are “reorientated”.
In effect they are recruited to Boko Haram.
When they return to Nigeria the recruits
are then taken off for further reorientation
by which they mean teaching and for
training. Some of the training took place in
Mali by Tuareg leaders but now more
training is conducted locally.
Could mere funding for Lesser Hajj by the
assumed sponsors have manifested in the
high level of sophistication that the sect has
assumed today?
Funds are provided to purchase weapons.
This is sometimes transferred through the
Central Bank of Nigeria to a person in Cairo
who provides the weapons and also provides
military uniforms.
At other times vehicles are purchased in
Benin for example and driven into Nigeria
where they are sold for cash. They do not
mind taking a loss on the sale price as by
this method they can obtain cash in Nigeria
without a direct link to the sponsor.
This person in Cairo, is he an Egyptian?
Why are you not able to disclose his
identity to the security agents for necessary
action?
No, he is Nigerian. He is a Kanuri who has
fought with Boko Haram and now associates
with a network of jihadists. I have given all
his details to the DG-SSS.
What sort of vehicles do they purchase?
VW Golf was mentioned as a favourite. They
can sell these very easily in Nigeria. They
do keep some to use for suicide bombing.
Some time ago they told me one sponsor
pledged six Hilux vehicles for the suicide
bombers.
You have heard that a “fake” Shekau was
killed last week in Kondunga. Do you
believe what the military is claiming that
the man killed was Shekau or possibly a
“fake” Shekau?
I continue to believe that Shekau was killed
on or about June 19, 2013 when we were
deeply engaged in peace discussions. I have
had so many senior commanders tell me
that Shekau is dead. It was several weeks
after that a Shekau video appeared on
YouTube. When I viewed that video with
JAS leaders they immediately said, “That
boy.
We have used him before.” They were
totally dismissive of any claim that Shekau
was still alive. They referred to the person
in the video as the “fake Shekau”. Some
months later one of the senior commanders
told me the name of the fake Shekau was
Abdul Mutallif. The commander who named
him was the one who wrote the script that
the fake Shekau reads from in the videos.
But I have heard they have used more than
one fake Shekau. In July this year I was told
the fake Shekau is Isa Damasaka. Earlier in
June they referred to him as Bashir.
We had been in communication with him
over the release of the Chibok girls. Isa
Damasaka is one of the names the military
has released when identifying the man
killed at Kondunga last week. He has also
been identified as Bashir Mohammed so I
am confident this man is indeed the fake
Shekau.
However, I do not know if Abdul Mutallif is
another name he used or there is another
fake Shekau named Abdul Mutallif who
may still be alive. I have no doubt we will
know soon so we await a new video by
another fake Shekau.
The man who was captured at Kondunga
last week was a great source of information
about Boko Haram sponsors. He was
captured alive. The military are too quick to
execute captured Boko Haram leaders. This
man could have revealed so much about
Boko Haram and its sponsors that may have
brought a quick end to the terrorism.
There are some reports that many Boko
Haram fighters have surrendered in recent
days. You want to say something on this?
This is an indication that Boko Haram
commanders now understand that they
have been fooled. They have followed a
“fake” Shekau. Boko Haram fighters have
died following a fake Shekau and fake
teaching.
The political sponsors have led these boys to
believe that they are purifying Islam,
purging the country of corruption by
slaughtering people. In fact the political
sponsors of Boko Haram are corrupt
politicians seeking power and more wealth.
The sponsors epitomise all that the Boko
Haram fighters are seeking to eliminate
from Nigeria.
So what is next for Boko Haram?
The death of the fake Shekau shows how the
fighters have been duped and totally misled
by the sponsors.
The fighters and commanders would be wise
to take this opportunity to reach out to the
government for a peace dialogue.
If they do not believe they can have a peace
dialogue without being captured and
executed the alternative message I have for
the commanders is this: Your sponsors will
use you and sacrifice you so they can gain
power. Set the captive girls free and walk
away from Boko Haram while you still have
the opportunity.

these guys are Nt boko commanders, the news might b real Bt Nt d pic cause the guys in d pic are terrorists from niger republic, it was on d front-page of a punch newspaper about two months ago

IF I BECOME NAIJA PRESIDENT, My 8 points
agenda
1. I am going to make sure any guy or girl
who breaks each others heart will spend
20years in jail.
2. No man is entitled to more than one
wife.
3. Any guy without 6 packs or any girl
without figure 8 will have to relocate to
Iran or Iraq for survival...
4. No work on Mondays
5. You must not have more than 2kids..
6. If U are married and ain't paying
attention to your wife,you will be jailed
until you change.
7. Every cheating man or woman must be
kept in a zoo for 2months.
8. No sex until U seek permission from
your local Govt. and it's once per month.
WILL U VOTE 4 ME

no packs sef not even two. beer too much

rawpadgin: who else if not the one & only bance

Yes oo Na bance

WELCOME TO THE 21TH CENTURY!!!
Our Phones ~ Wireless
Cooking ~ Fireless
Cars ~ Keyless
Food ~ Fatless
Dress ~ Sleeveless
Youth ~ Jobless
Leaders ~ Shameless
Relationships ~ Meaningless
Atitude ~ Careless
Wives ~ Fearless
Babies ~ Fatherless
Feelings ~ Heartless
Education ~ Valueless
Children ~ Mannerless
Women ~ Pantieless
Everything is becoming LESS but still our
hopes are ~
Endless.
Infact am ~ Speechless

Abeg guys read this funny post and give the likely answer.
I visited my girlfriend,
when she went to the bathroom to
shower
her phone rang I pick it up and saw c.
ronaldo calling
I didn't answer.oooo
after that moment another call came and it
was hazard calling
I said to my self does it mean this girl is
celebrity
and I don't know it..?
as it that was not enough another call
came in with the name
asamoah gyan calling
somethin struck my mind later and I
realised she has intentionally saved the
numbers according to the football players
in relationship to how handsome her
boyfriend are
so I decided to dial my number too
I dial my first number and Ohhhh my god,
guess what .....I saw
balloteli calling
Hmmmm, I didn't talk ooo and I dialed my
2nd number too
and I started weeping profusely.
I fainted and was admitted to hospital so
what players
name do you think made me fainted....?
guess...

malonephills: Election in my school is as terrible as the time when pdp don't have mercy for the country, before d day a lot of blackmail, murder not to talk of d main day when d election wnt to conducted, even security men run for their lives, then I realise it not unionsm but evil politics

Yes oo my bro, I heard things were now better as it is nw, a security officer told me that about two years ago candidates were murdered in cold blood, They had to suspend d SUG stuff fr a year before They resumed again

in my school whose name I won't mention, the election period is always hectic,even rival parties do kidnap their opponents candidates .cases of attempted murder are sometimes recorded,I hope it doesn't happen in my school alone. can you guys please share experiences of your SUG election in your various higher institutions

donLEXY: Now you said it all, how will I have stuffs to write here...... Brb

Lol space booker

I don't where this topic is to be pasted but I hope it will be moved to the right section, I saw this on my Fb page and I decided to share it with u guys
BeSt MeMoRiEs n DaYs Of OuR LiFe!
.
.
When I was small :-
• I'd put my arms in my
shirt and told people
I lost my arms..
• Would restart the video
game whenever I knew I was going to lose..
• Had that one pen with
four colors, and tried to push all the buttons
at
once...
• Waited behind a door to
scare someone, then leaving because they're
taking too long to come out...
• Faked being asleep,so I
could be carried to bed...
• Used to think that the moon followed our
car..
• Tried to balance the switch between On/
Off...
• Watching two drops of
rain roll down window and pretending it was a
race..
• The only thing i had to
take care of was a school bag...
• Swallowed a fruit seed scared to death that a
tree was
going to
grow in my tummy....
• Closed the fridge
extremely slowly to see
when the lights went off...
• Walked into a room,. forgot what you
needed, Walked out, and then remember!!

FrancisTony: All these Igbotic and northern schools.

We didn't use or know it here in the west.

schooled in d west nd I used one