₦airaland Forum

chii8:
Nnaà come and finish your story biko

I have finish it ooo

I tucked in my shirt, gathered my self just in time to collect my shawama.....thanked my Father in heaven and had myself a fantastic Friday night while showing the village warriors my middle finger......

Just to tell you that this ant was sent on a mission, it refused to die......

Immediately I heard a still voice singing Ayefele in my mind (march am, march am, march am)....I began to stamp and stamp until there was no difference between the ant and the grains of sand on the floor....

Then I stilled my mind, went to the corner and untucked my shirt and behold a small bullet ANT landed on the floor....

My eyes widening with fury and flames and with every ounce of force i could muster I stepped on it with my over sized sanchoz....

This was the point that I knew my God is bigger than any villige miltant...In my distress a still voice showed me a little dark spot in a corner and told me to go there and tuck out my shirt....

At first I was like haaaa...if i commot hand, wahala go dey ooo

My mind started wandering about all the people i had ever offended in my life....which one of them could have launched this missile

I grabbed at it, stopping it from heading to the frontiers of space.....Then my mind began to wax, do I pull off my jacket, shirt, singlet and disgrace myself in front of all my fans......(mans not hot)

Lets say I even had akpobi (six packs) i wouldn't have minded.....Is this how the village militants want to test my defense....

With silent prayers, contemplating how to deal with this village ambassador...I decided attack was the best form of defense...so I squeezed, twisted and squashed, hoping i would be able to send this village ambassador to the depths of hell....

After a few minutes of squeezing, twisting and squashing, i removed my hand from my stomach, hoping the enemy had been defeated...

I suddenly felt this village ambassador moving and about to cross into my boxers......In my subconscious I screamed.......

I removed my hand from my chest to access the situation, immediately another feroucious attack followed near my stomach...

I grabbed the area as the mother of all pain flowed through my nervous system.....and with my second hand covered my mouth to stop my little girl screams from being made public.....

I felt something hit my chest....now I was wearing a jacket on my shirt with an inner white tee-shirt....but somehow whatever hit me bypassed the Jacket, my shirt, T-shirt and managed to land right on my chest

I felt around with my hand but did not feel anything....so i dismissed it, that it must have been my imagination and continued contemplating what drink i should get......then it happened..

I suddenly felt a sharp pain that nearly rendered me disabled....I grabbed at the spot on my chest, at this point I knew the enemies had found my address....

I got to my favourite shawama spot with a smile on my face, due to the fact that the usual crowd was not there, which meant i would get my order fast and get down to my friday groove.

I made my order and was just thinking of what to drink when the first attack occured......hmmm

Where or how do i even start this story.......Anyway let me start from the Genesis...

So, it was a Friday, and i was about to close from work. As i was clearing my desk preparing to head out, I thought to my self "What am i going to do this Friday night, has i had absolute "zero plans"

I decide i would just chill out in the crib, eat some Shawama and watch a good movie....I quickly looked-up my favorite movie download site and found one of the latest movies that i had been waiting to get a good blue-ray copy of, within mins i had downloaded it and was out the front door.

Whistling to my self in anticipation of savoring some pallet destroying Shawama, unknown to me that an adventure was just about to start.

GistmeBlog:
Bobrisky has just suffered a wardrobe malfunction and we were able to catch a glimpse of her *****. See it HERE...!!!!

Are you gay....cos i don't see what is news worthy here, that you are so eager to share...

Somehow, I don't believe this was suicide.....his hands are in reach of areas that can stop him from killing himself....

I thing in the panic of suffocation he would have grabbed on to the ledge....but i may be wrong

Next Messi moves to Juventus.....a Messi/Ronaldo combo will be something to behold

MrBrownJay1:
aint you gullible by thinking that there are no RICH criminals in the west?! why shouldnt i call a spade A SPADE?!

Bro it appears you are looking for fight or something, make your point and move on. When you insult me you are looking for something else....i will not give this warning again

MrBrownJay1:
do you know where the USD100s of billions in gold that Khaddafi had in Libya vanished to?! what about the billions the Abachas and Mobutus stole that disappeared in foreign banks? yep exactly...keep deceiving yourself while people in the west openly steal in front of your own very eyes. criminals in the west are doing just the same.



so you actually think there are no illegal activities in the west?! do you really think that Bernard Madof is the only fraudster in the west?!



educate yourself on the history of the US government and the CIA. during the cocaine craze of the 80/90s, they openly shipped tons of cocaine to the US, for their own personal agenda.....and how they are in Afghanistan (world's leading illicit opium producer) for decades while deceiving gullible people like yourself that they are there for democracy.



in the west, A) you can have a criminal case, just by shaking your gf too hard....and B) every Wale, Taiwo and Segun has a criminal case, let alone rich people....just ask 50cent!



like what exactly?!

Oga...next time you want to make a point...keep insults out of your mouth, lets you call a curse upon yourself....

MrBrownJay1:
this woman should ask herself this simple question.... WHY ALL THE RICH MEN IN NIGERIA STAY THERE (if it was indeed so bad there)?!

daz a simple stuvz

1) Here is where they steal the money and the law will not be able to touch them
2) This is the only place they can get away with their illegal activities (because a large proportion of them did not make their money legally)
3) A lot of our rich folk make their money from crime/criminal activities
4) A lot of them have criminal cases abroad
5) This is the one major place they can enjoy certain priviledges

Wow...it appears our youths are getting dumber by the day....what has NYSC got to do with her shooting....

It appears we are producing youths that go to school but are not getting educated

Drinokrane:
Openly Gay Nigerian man, Felix Kalu who has relocated to the US, shared a post on his Facebook page detailing how he fought Homophobia before leaving the shores of Nigeria.

Read below;
"How I resist homophobia.

I am 27 years old. I am young and powerful.

Every war comes after a threat. The day my society threatened me they asked for a war. I will fight them to their knees. The more they resist me, the more I will persist.

I currently have someone in my life that makes me feel like a treasure. This person loves me very much. This person worships me. This person can melt mountains for me. We hope to get married some day.

Everyone should be given the opportunity to feel the way I feel right now.

A gay boy told me that his family thinks he is the one behind all the problems they are encountering. I have heard many of such stories where a family discovers a member was gay and concludes that God was punishing the entire family because of his homosexuality. In this boy’s case he was not just put out of the house, but all his clothes were burned. At that point can you imagine what life meant for him?

That boy lived with me till he learned a skill and my last kobo was used to open a shop for him. I believe the only way we young people can protect ourselves is when we are empowered. Sometimes I have had to take them and keep them in my house. A boy came to me with full blown AIDS and left as a barber who owned a barbing salon and an undergraduate of the open university. I feel proud of myself.

I said I am not going to have any biological child because of this. There was one day I left the house early in the morning to give my last 3k to a boy that was going for this dancing competition, his family did not support him because he danced like a girl.

After I gave him that money I came back to the house to one pack of Indomie noodle that I hoped to eat that morning, I didn’t know there was no gas, I chewed the indomie like that with water, but when he won that competition I felt a satisfaction that no food can give.

I didn't buy new clothes for 3 years because I had boys going to school, boys who called me father even though some of them were older than me.

This is how I resist.
-Felix kalu."

https://www.torimill.com/2018/07/openly-gay-nigerian-man-writes-on-how-he-fought-against-homophobia-in-nigeria.html

I talk am, devil done take over.....

Nbote:
Nigerian Police dat arrests ppl for jus looking suspicious and U ask why dey arrested U for being in possession of skulls...

Police that arrest people for "WANDERING AND THINKING NONSENSE IN THE MIND"

Before we pack all this gadget give them, we need to first employ the right people......

correctbae:
A married lady with kids took to Twitter, @ozzyetomi to advise ladies to stop getting married as the benefits in marriage can actually be gotten from your partner Unmarried.

She made the statement when an unmarried lady, @mochievous asked to know the benefits of getting married.

Tweets below:

@mochievous tweet:

As a young unmarried woman, I often wonder about the benefits of marriage for me. So far, my list is empty.
Married women, I’ll love to hear from you. What are the best parts of being married? Help.

@ozzyetomi tweet:

I dont particularly advocate for marriage simply because most things (listed) you can have with a partner but unmarried, maybe minus tax breaks (which doesnt apply in Nigeria same as most legal advantages of being married). Truth is advantages are few & far btw for women.
People choose to get married mainly for emotional and romantic reasons but the institution is generally not skewed in women’s favor. Personally i think all women should stop getting married but thats just me ��‍♀️

Source: https://correct.com.ng/women-should-stop-getting-married-most-benefits-you-will-get-in-marriage-can-be-gotten-unmarried-from-your-partner-married-lady-advice-single-ladies/

This shows that the devil has taken over......first any sex outside of marriage is SIN....

So one of the benefits is you have license to have Sinless sex


Any child out side of marriage is termed a bastard.......


Matthew 18:19 King James Version (KJV)
19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

The last example might not be perfect, but it shows the importance of two, and marriage provides a strong avenue for such circumstances to be easily fulfilled

There are so many others but I stop my typing here...make una add una own

Rubbish....hair style for kids and entertainers

Except for the gorimapa

pcguru1:
Haba one is sound which is thunder lightening is the main thing itself , so I get confused when people say thunder fire you

The original reason people say thunder fire you.....is because of superstition, people believe there is power in spoken words and since we all know thunder is the mare sound of lightening, so they know nothing really is going to happen by saying thunder fire you.....

However over time some people have now totally gotten it mixed up and no longer know the difference......

[quote author=ChiefAzubuike:]So many benefits of being a cultist. You get respect, you are feared, people don't talk to you out anyhow, even soldiers and police fear you. You get to divert different girls to your bed every night and they must do the do else they'll be on the losing side. As a female cultist, your initiations is what many girls can only dream of. Multiple mindblowing órgasms from different frat members pounding you at the same time. (For the other category of cultist people)
Forget about death, everybody will die one day.

The sweetest part is being a patron/matron. The way those boys will take care of you and those girls will keep your company no be here. I've been a patron for more than 35 years so I know what I'm saying. Oh did I forget about how politicians spoil us with gifts and cash during elections? 2015 alone I made more than 40 million naira.

Mind you, there's cultist and theres cultist. When I say cultist I don't mean those thugs and lowlifers repping eiye ,aiye , , vikings etc. We are talking of Nigerian cultists who are cooperate people like bankers, doctors, accountants and lawyers. At the same time we bring out the thug in us when necessary.[/quote]You forgot the best part.....And when you die you will be ushered into hell for correct 5 star treatment by the devil himself

This people are just dull....FIFA has banned you, you now went to force yourself into office......so what footballing event is he going to be managing...Last i checked, all footballing events are under Fifa.......

Or he just wants us to be banned while he enjoys the cushy chair in the glass house doing nothing the whole of his tenure

Just one question.....now that police is protesting, who is going to disperse them......make them call army and I hope they go with live ammunition

Nonsense so these people know how to protest, so protesting is not a crime now, but if na we civilians protest now, its this same police that will open fire on the civilians.....

Anigreat:





Good one sha


Looking at them closely, they are all Yorubas.

Having a yoruba as a friend, you're signing a death warrant because they waste no time in betraying. So don't boast yet that you have true friends.

Hater spoted

Now we know who they have been remitting to....

ClassRep001:
All girls are sex objects.

With fame with little or no money you can Bleep any bitch of your choice.

Especially Nigerian ladies, 99%of them are shameless hoes with no iota of brain upstairs.

Smh

Bros its ok, I said its ok.......who be the babe wey break your heart like this....some women no go make heaven....see wetin them turn our brother into...it is well

Someone somewhere loves this guy.....At least he has enough time to repent and ask for forgiveness.....since he knows his hour as come...