₦airaland Forum

Hello Guys so I found out something,I found out that the father of my Baby unblocked me from watsap on Saturday after over 6 months of blocking me but he handy said anything yet
I’m still fine though and still resting.

jeff1607:
If the guy's family decides to help both financially and physically would you accept them?

They haven’t even said anything

Glad to be back here...I’m almost five months and still on bed rest though...
The guy family are trying to come sha but they aren’t supporting in any ways so my mum is saying they should just stay away.

Mine was getting Pregnant and he denied the child because I never believed he could deny his own baby.

johndavid1:
I lost my elder brother who is also a nairalander (kinem user name) on the 1st of December 2019 was about getting married this same month.. am so devastated right now..

It is well

Skepticus:
Wow!

Trashy family.

It would be a tough one for you, but you'll pull through. You have to take legal steps in keeping that baby as only your own and if you marry a responsible man who is nice to your kid, get him to legally adopt your child as his. Family and customary courts would be sympathetic to you.

Don't let any idiot here deceive you. That he-goat and his useless family will show up some time later to reap where they did not sow. Don't reward the deliberate bad behaviours of people.

Nigerians are manipulative that way.

Thank you so much

samtol4:
Instead of you to concentrate on your unborn baby and how to survive u busy wasting time on the useless dude. U need to see your pastor for counseling and moral support.This stage will soon pass.The guy that impregnated my sister later came after 5years we chase him away ! Am surprised at your mother reaction sending you ? Family is always a place of support perhaps your mother had similar issue or is she a single mother? You did not mention your father in this story?

Thanks so much.. I just came online after how many weeks because I am currently on bed rest.
My mum is still angry but I am back home.. Dad died years back

Skepticus:
You talk ignorantly and you seem not to understand men.

Do you think you can force a dead beat father to be involved with the child especially when the family of the dead beat father are as useless as the sperm-donating he-goat they call a son?

Kikiofure, if the family of the dad is willing to be supportive in helping you raise the child, it's a good one and if they are not willing, you are practically on your own to raise the child, or give it up for adoption.

Forcing a man who is clearly not interested is a waste of time whether he is financially capable of being supportive or not, is a sheer waste of time.

If you are raising it on your own, perfect the legal requirements to have him bound with your family' s name or the name of your new husband (if he is supportive).

They said since he denied me that they have no reason to accept me.. So I am on my own

rummmy:
why did you allow this without him marrying you?

I thought he loved me or some said.. So we usually have sex without protection til I go pregnant and funny enough he disvirgned me

I am currently two months pregnant with no support from him.. He denied me and his family too..
I pray I birth this child in peace but since he denied me already he can never see this child.. He even called my baby bastard

Hi all... I am currently doing well and I have moved on with my life.. Never gonna contact him again ..
Back to baby I am currently on bed [img][/img]rest cos of a threatened miscarriage because of those drugs I use.. He said its 50/50..The baby might stay or go.. I am two months plus now

Mindfulness:
I hope his brother will do the needful and not try to give him cover. Good luck!

Thank you so much.

Mindfulness:
Good evening dear,
I am glad you told our mum. I know it takes a lot of courage. Give her time to get used to the idea of you being pregnant. She will calm down eventually. I hope you are staying around nice, caring and understanding people and you have everything you need. I also understand how you feel about the father of the child. Still I hope he will come to his senses because at this stage it is not about you or him but about the child. Maybe your family can inform his family and the elders in his family have more sense and provide at least minimal support. My best wishes to you and the baby.

I am trying to inform his brother on facebook so that he can help me inform others.
I know the area his Parent stays but don't know the exact house or street(He once mentioned it).

STENON:
Do you have a job? Are you educated or running a business? What is your qualification?

Please face your life and keep living big. Karma will catch up with him and he will look for you to beg for forgiveness in future . I pray God help the child to be great in life.
Remember the story of Regina Daniels?

Currently working and schooling

Good evening all..
So the update is I finally told my mum but she has been crying non stop and she said she doesn't wanna see me for now so I am currently not home.
She asked of the guy and called him and immediately he heard her voice he hunged up..
Like right now he is saying I should do my worst he even said I should curse if I want to even mocking me..
So my resolution is I will just anyhow bear the shame but my mum said I can't stay home so I might just go stay with a family for now but I am sorry to say this I will go extra mile I swear to make sure he suffer..
He impregnated me on purpose because i asked him severally he said he didn't cum in me..
He will beg for food but won't see I promise

crackhaus:
You didn't get me, did you? I didn't say you got pregnant on purpose.

I'm not trying to make jest, but that bit in bold is funny.

Tell your mum now.

Ye I am scared o.. I guess I will go tell my pastor(She is a female) so that she can follow me to meet my mum

Ishilove:
What an asshole. I wish I can have his number so I can give him a brief history of his accursed lineage

I will drop his number soon.. Karma will surely follow him

Ifyy25:
My dear men are always different when the going is good

I was surprised despite the lovey dovey

crackhaus:
Ofure bodiayé?

See I'll be honest with you, there's a saying that 'person wey dey find party rice to chop no dey run from dance when music start.'
What I'm about to tell you is what I will tell my sister or daughter(s) should one decide to embarrass me like this.

What you're going through is nothing new, as a matter of fact if you're not careful, you will take in for that same guy again or even another guy...so it's time to have some introspection and understand the part you played in all this - assuming a victim stance and demonizing the guy will NOT do you any good now or even in the long run because most of the time, children will still go looking for their lost fathers when they reach a certain point in their lives.
You had sex, pre-marital sex...and as if that was not enough, you let yourself get pregnant. Yes I said you let it because while the responsibility for having sex with another person willingly is 50% on the woman, the responsibility for getting pregnant is 100% on her - she is the one that can decide whether to get pregnant or not, unless she is a child. And if she (you) still considers yourself misled into getting pregnant, then perhaps you are really a child that shouldn't be having sex in the first place.
That is the party rice (enjoyment) you wanted.

Now on to the dancing part:
The guy has decided to run from dancing to the music, he has made his own choice and honestly you will not be able to force him. Perhaps you can get a court to make him pay child support but despite the nobility in this effort by courts, I personally find it awkward given that it's the same women seeking for child support that usually complain about husbands who think raising a child is all about providing money instead of being present and being a father to the child.
Either way, it is your turn to make a choice between dancing or not dancing.

I don't buy into the "stubborn child I am carrying" narrative which you're echoing here, I've heard this a lot - it's probably a Nigerian way of referring to an unborn child as special, refusing to go away. Well it's superstition, that's what I think. For now, you just stop pumping yourself full of abortion drugs. Just because you haven't seen blood does not mean it has not worked - it could very well have, or maybe you didn't administer the drugs accurately, or perhaps you were never even pregnant in the first place and got a false positive result (this can happen)...too many probabilities.
Look for a trusted pharmacist or doctor friend (note this, he/she has to be a friend of yours) because I saw where someone advised you to go to a hospital - that is just ridiculous because the NMA considers abortion illegal. Talk to either of those professionals I recommended to discuss options, meanwhile do another test and do a scan to actually be sure something is in there. This is only if you don't want to keep the pregnancy.

My purpose here is not to help you decide what to do.
If you decide to keep it, then it's time to inform those who need to know - your family. They will be very disappointed, but if your tribe is what I suspect it is, they will accept you and the pregnancy at the end of the day. Raising a child will not be easy so your family will be the support you need.

TBH sir I didn't get pregnant on purpose..Like I said I was very careful about it and him too but that day I guess he Came inside me but forgot because I kept asking him and he kept saying no he didn't.. We argued and he blocked me yesterday but I will tell my mum but not now,i am thinking when the pregnancy is about 4/5 months because I have a flat tummy..Concerning the abortion I have tried all kinds of medication noting worked o.. I will bear the shame and carry my Cross

Hi All.. I called my BF and told him that I want to keep the child he said if I want to then I am on my own so he blocked me..
I don't wanna say anything but this isn't what he said when the going was good

AwkaetitiBabe:
I hope all d nonsense you took won't affect the foetus. You wouldn't wanna birth a baby with half nose or no limbs. How old is d pregnancy?

Three weeks now

thorpido:
Just curious,how old are you?

23yrs old

ctleurocollege:
Give it up for adoption

Ok thanks

Acidosis:
Aren't you and your guy mature and old enough to raise a child? Why do people reject pregnancies? Fear of being a single mother? Well it's completely up to your guy to own up and face his responsibilities. Sleeping with someone you cannot marry is f00lishness.

If he had accepted wholeheartedly I would have love to keep the child but he isn't straight forward..
I'm full of regrets

baby124:
Child stubborn indeed. Looks like you want the baby and can afford a baby. Congrats.

Ma I meant stubborn because ordinarily what my friends used and it worked refused to work for me.. Pls if there is any other option you can tell me Pls

Fountainofyouth:
Pls do D and C, cos it seems you are not ready to have a child, don't bring a kid to the world to suffer, protection could have prevented this.

Thanks ma

truthsayer009:
Another troll post on Nairaland again? Please you pipu should stop creating new usernames to conceal you clown identity.

I am not a troll sir.. Just trying to hide my identity

Bluehill1051:
Because you have tried several drugs to abort the pregnancy, you must complete it now or have a deformed child.
My girlfriend then used misoprostone and some others sha. Within a week, things balance but she added a lot of weight.

Oh thanks..That means there is still hope because it is over 24hrs and no blood yet.. I will redo scan and if the baby is fine I will just keep it

nlPoster:
The op sounds male, I could be wrong.

The forum has been slower of recent, hence the "breaking news".

i am a female and my moniker is old.. I used this to conceal my identity

Mindfulness:
Dear KIkiofure,
please stop trying to abort without medical assistance. You put your health at risk and the baby's too.
I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. It is tough. I can only imagine how terrible it feels.

You said that the guy's response wasn't welcoming. What exactly does it mean? Some men will react reluctantly in the initial stages of the shock but their conscience will not let them ignore the pregnancy and the baby once it is born. Talk to him again. Ask him what he thinks you guys can do. Discuss your options together, make a plan. It is his child too. You shouldn't be left alone. You can't force him to take responsibility so I hope he is a responsible person with a conscience and will explore different options regarding the care of the baby with you and the finances.

Whatever the guy decides to do or not do, you will have to inform your family. I know this will be the hardest part. I know you don't want to be a disappointment to your parents and how scared you must be but after the initial shock and anger and sadness your mum's compassion will kick in and she will (I pray) understand that you need all the support you can get. Talk to her from woman to woman. And before you do it remember that in a few years, maybe months, from now on, the love she will have for her sweet grandchild will make up for the way she felt when she received the news. Don't put it off. The sooner your family knows the better. They need time to adjust too.

We all make mistakes so don't let the comments on this thread get to you. I know that in this kind of a situation you blame yourself enough. Please consider that many women before you have found themselves in the same situation and what seemed to be a punishment turned out to be a blessing because the love you will have for your child will not resemble anything you have experienced before. I wish you all the best. Stay strong.

Thank you so much sir.. We have been talking but he avoids talking about the child.. I will keep the child and tell my mum soon though with a relative because she can kill me

meobizy:
I had to create this account to reply this thread.

You are pregnant, so? Make sure you and your mother can take care of the child because that guy will come after a few years. Now you’ve shown you’re an adult, start searching for jobs you can use to make ends meet after your ‘maternity leave’. Your mother will feel bad but wetin she wan do? There’s no option but to see the pregnancy through.

Good luck with child birth. The greater luck is needed in survival way later.

Thank you

thorpido:
Hmm

Please advice me