₦airaland Forum

wirinet:
As a liberal, I don't believe in and certainly won't advocate for LGBTQ. Having said that, I believe sex is a private affair and what two consenting adults do in the privacy of the bedroom is none of my business. My problem is when they do it in public.

Strange, why not? I'm curious.

LordReed:
Not necessary to. You can invite a guest to your house today and kick them out tomorrow. Does it make you an arsehole, absolutely but it remains your prerogative.

Not if the supposed guests are my own children, which I had to engage i coitus to create out of my will.

Sure but I don't want a society that forces women to have babies against their will.

Sure. But even if society turns a blind eye, nature will carry out its course. It's not society forcing her to, It's good-old mother nature.

Over the body of the individual? The individual should have autonomy.

Of course. However, the autonomy of the individual cannot supersede that of society. After all, as much of an introvert as I am, when I left Christianity, it was hell. And I'm able to survive because I found society in my nairalander folks and those online. Without society, the individual becomes insane.

Maeve7:
Are you suggesting that adoption/orphanages will make a woman provide the necessary care for the unwanted fetus/embryo inside her body and stop her from harming it with e.g. substance abuse?

-https://www.routefifty.com/health-human-services/2019/12/pregnant-women-drug-use/161701/

airsaylongcome:
Jokers! The false narrative they are trying to push is now being bursted. Most Nigerian telcos have increased pricing in a not-so-apparent way. It costs more per kilobyte of data now than before. But their billing systems have been "doped" in a similar way that petrol station pumps show a litre of dispensed product but actually have dispensed less than a litre

a country like Ghana has on of the most expensive data bundles in the world. I can't wait to buy a starlink.... I will even subscribe to the global plan and distribute cost with family.. these telkoms ain't worth it.

Kobojunkie:
A citizen was most likely unjustly arrested. You said absolutely nothing but you wish for the one who would at least stand up for his right to shut up?

forget them. As long as the culprit has money, he cannot commit a crime in the eyes of a typical Nigerian.

Maeve7:
It’s interesting to read all your concern about the fetus without considering how a woman will treat an unwanted fetus inside her body. You surely know that her lifestyle, mental health, eating habits and possible substance abuse all have an impact on the fetus and with the development of the nervous system the pain that she can inflict on the fetus and then embryo will be felt more intensely. Will anyone be there to protect this fetus from what a woman can do or not do to ensure that it is provided with everything a fetus/embryo needs and save it from any harm?

And how has the ban on abortion stopped women from having abortions?

I think, women who are that careless usually end up in jail and charged with murder if the baby is born with developmental problems.

In November, a California woman who gave birth to a stillborn baby and admitted to using methamphetamine while she was pregnant was charged with murder. The case touched a nerve, igniting a debate over whether mothers should be held accountable for their drug use or treated with compassion for their addictions.

LordReed:
Like I already said the fetus has no right to use the woman's body without consent. It's her life the fetus has to depend on, it literally has to live off of her blood. Do you think somebody should have the right to just come take your blood without your consent?

If you can find a way to preserve a fetus that is between 0-5 months old outside of the woman's body that would be great. Till then the owner of the body should have the right to agree or disagree with growing something inside her.

In order to sneak this reductive argument as something viable or even sensible, you first have to define a fetus as an unwanted parasite that appeared out of nowhere without the consent of the woman. FYI, there are a gazillion parasites that don't need to live inside the body of the host. Cuckoo Bird is one good example. Besides, a 1-year-old baby cannot survive on its own, too. Why not extend the limit of the abortion to 1 year? The parasite argument can work perfectly in that case.

The woman has every right to her body, but society has the right to autonomy and can rightfully deny her their labor in helping her get abortion. I made the same argument to Ijeb back with my buying a prescription drug from a pharmacy.

If the woman could chuk her hand inside her womb to remove the baby, there wouldn't be this back-and-forth debate about pro-life or pro-choice. But, society is involved in making this decision because the woman needs the skills of society to make that procedure possible. So, who's autonomy is greater, the autonomy of society, or the autonomy of a single individual?

The Trolley dilemma argument, perhaps?

So, what's the better argument? It's the burning house analogy!

Ask Xavier5 to choose between a 1-year-old baby and an embryo in a petri dish or even a dog from a burning building. He'll pick the 1-year-old baby if he's human and believes any of the "intrinsic human value" he claims all humans have.

Oh....@budaatum, I see what you mean! I guess, Xavier hasn't done his homework. How can all humans value other humans in the same manner we have a history of slavery, tribalism, racism, and war. hahaha. You know what, instead of banning the bible and the Quran why not rewrite it ? I mean, we could literally just slowly phase out the old stuff and input new ideas into it. "thou shalt love thy neighbor from other tribes and countries as well"
"Thou shalt not bother about your neighbors sexual orientation or lifestyle"

Kobojunkie:
Did you write any other books that are more accurate books out there apart from the records of the kings contained in those books?

I don't find any connection to that and how you are linked to "Jews"

dominique:
Why have unprotected with a woman if you don't want to be tied down with pregnancy, are you an imbesile? Men take control of your reproductive choices, if don't want anybody using pregnancy to "tie you down", take precautionary actions yourself!

If I were the one who would bear the brunt of a 9-month pregnancy, I'd be very meticulous about who penetrates my body. It just appears so common sense to me.

advanceDNA:
Welcome to Nigeria where child support is 15k per child per month...and enforcement is weak.... The joke is on the woman who decides to tie down one random nigga that told her to use a contraceptive in the first place

There's this Kenyan or Ugandan woman on TikTok, who says the same. Women approach the world thinking it exists to comfort them. "Men should be responsible so that I don't have to suffer." That's what's going on in a woman's head.

If you have a lot to lose in any interaction, the burden falls on you to ensure you protect yourself.

I mean, even female lizards ensure only the bright-colored agama lizard impregnates them. Pretty common sense.

You're a woman with no intention of getting pregnant. But you're going to man's house without protection? You see him chuk dick inside, and didn't stop to ask them to wear protection? Just lay there like a bag of beans and collect the contents of the man's sack. It's nuts, I tell you, nuts!

budaatum:
Trust me, Ijebos, that if it were possible to stop disinformation, I'd ban the Bible and the Qur'an first, not so much because they misinform (they don't), but because people are misinformed by not understanding them. Thankfully, I see the unintended consequence of their enlightening effect so I'm glad both exist.

Biden, or shall I say, liberalism, fights disinformation by educating, and Biden's government is doing what it can against the darkness of magaism trying to drown it out, and going any further would be edging into fascism, I think.

My hope is that more see the light shining in the dark that is trying to overcome it.

Yes, that would make you fascist. After all, my brain, my choice! I think you mean the people who use them as tools to misinform. Otherwise, even scientific literature could be misunderstood by anybody or used as a tool to misinform.

The problem, I find with Democrats, is that everyone is a supposed "Intellectual," while they may be united on the presidential front, at ground level, they are very disjointed.

I was watching some live stream the other day, where the demo influencers held a meeting about tackling this disconnect within the demo camp at ground level. You know what, a meeting held to foster unity ended up turning into a heated debate---the irony. I see this same rhetoric playing out.

The crooners of the MAGA cult aren't exactly "dumb". I find several intellectuals in the camp, and can't be ignorant enough to say "Republicans are dumb." Trump, I believe, has them by the balls. Dare I say, Republicans are taking a huge heat due to Trump's stup.i.dity. But, the team has something the Demos currently lack--- "blind unity." Biden must be crying himself to sleep. hahahahaha.

Maga, I think, is a one-time sensation that will die when Trump loses steam.

Kobojunkie:
If that is what you are alluding to, then sure, I could actually be of the bloodline of Jacob. History has it that the Israelites were scattered by the God of Israel at two points in time, to the[b] ends of the earth[/b], so yes, there are some Africans who are of the blood of Jacob. It is the same way there are some Africans of Indian, Asian, or even Russian descent.

What history? Not the bible, i hope.

Happy birthday aunty Ishilove. Live long and live strong.

Kobicove:
Kobojunkie na woman o!

I prefer to think of Kobojunkie as Kobojunki.e.

Tell them you don't have that they should understand. If they don't value you as another human being, then why not go aura for aura. Although, a different circumstance, I faced a similar issue with my mum. The thing reached my neck, I wrote a message twice and deleted because i was blowing hot hot. I've sha communicated that I can no longer fund a business that's running into loss every month. I didn't die.

We4all:
Fred should stop crying. If you were in your daughter's life, there is no way in hell she would have sidelined you. You started 'Inside out with Agatha', and so what? Agatha nurtured and made the talk show popular. You moved on years ago, she is still moving on, so why are you pained?

Depends. There was a case that got blown on social media when a girl accused her father, white, of being absent from their lives. But, the old man drops plenty of receipts. And, this is not the "money isn't being involved in child's life talk" the man also released videos of them going out together. So, indeed, ex-wives do go to extreme lengths to tarnish the image of their ex-husbands. We know this happens alot!

StillDtruth:
Right now are you not showing that you are an agent of Satan come to lead people eg Cococandy astray and even ready to lie to make it so?

She disagreed with me but I did not call her a devil, as you Lied!

You prove right, you are the Liar.and the devil and the agent of devil! Hahahahahahaha.

long time no see.

Indian men are something else.....

folake4u:
Are you in the 90s or something? There are men buying dîldós for their partners to spice up their sexual life. Dey play! Go outside and touch grass!

And using the word "simp" doesn't make sense here. Abeg swerve!

I won't buy Love Machine sha. It will not pass the vibrator. it should complement, not replace.

1Sharon:
Meanwhile:

https://allhiphop.com/rumors/men-rape-and-burn-woman-after-she-beats-them-in-rap-battle/

Good thing she's still alive.. That's one tough fighter right there....the court case: https://www.ledger-enquirer.com/latest-news/article216894845.html

budaatum:
It is not a "we" thing to feel sorry for anyone.

Those who felt sorry for her rewarded her, and those like you who don't feel sorry for her are condemning her. Such, is life.

She could be begging instead, and you'd definitely says she's lazy then.

being in the position of "begging" is less honorable than being a scammer, corrupt politician, or sex worker in this country. I see people respecting the latter than I see the former. I'd rather be a prostitute than a beggar!

Mr Brown needs to not only touch grass, he needs to eat it.

Even if na me, I go continue hookup.

Meaning:
Hi guys, I notice one thing about me.
I'm too emotional for a man. I'm too soft hearted. I don't want bad things to happen to anyone.
But recently, I realized that people are taking advantage of that and I'm tired.

Please can someone teach me the act of wickedness thru manipulation?

The way you destroy people but act like you are their help. That kind of manipulative destruction.

Any help please.

Some evening time, around 2015, I was walking along Ahmadu Bello Way, just in front of a Samsung appliance shop and opposite the Anglican or, rather, the catholic church. I had closed from the university and headed home---my parents didn't allow me to board a hostel or rent an apartment. So, it was a daily routine.

I happen to have an approachable face. You know that kind of face you see when you're looking to ask someone for direction and go "Ah-ha, this guy fit help me." Unfortunately, It's the same approachable face that made two lazy girls burden me with their assignment on the very second day of university resumption. I will gist you later.

As I walked, I caught the eyes of an elderly short woman who stood a few meters ahead of me. I felt a bit strange and quickly anticipated being asked for money. It was obvious she had spotted the right target. Standing behind the elderly woman was a young girl, probably 13-16 years old. I suspected her granddaughter, but it could be her daughter.

My instincts were right on the money! She spoke Yoruba. Only God knows how she detected I was a Yoruba boy too, or that was the only language she spoke. Although, I didn't speak much. Just mumbles. From what I gathered, she had gotten stranded at that place and was supposed to be headed to another city---a place I hadn't heard of before. But, as per Northerner, once you hear "Ungwan," you know it exists. haha.

She asked me to help her with "something" for TP. I normally give out what I can spare, so I dipped my head down to check how much I had in my breast pocket. 500+ Naira. I had money to spare. However, there was a little issue. I didn't have change. Instead of giving her what I could afford, I ended up giving her 500 Naira, a day's worth of transport---to-and-fro---plus feeding! I had already handed the money to her before realizing I didn't even have enough to get me home (Why the fvck didn't I just give her the change and keep the 500 bucks still marvels me today).

I lived in another city about 45 45-minute drive (without go-slow) from my university. For the next few days, I was trekking back from school to that same place where I met the woman because I no longer had enough money. Talk about a self-sacrificing lamb.

The Kindness Conundrum: Kind Guy or Nice Guy?

I learned something about this conundrum some time ago. Why do I call this a conundrum? There are two kinds of people pleasers. The first kind is the Kind Guy. The second type of people pleaser is the Mr Nice Guy.

Kind Guy: often the good type of people pleasers, they find some form of fulfillment in helping people around them. They are the good kind of people pleasers because they usually don't seek any form of reciprocity from those they help. That is, they give purely out of good intentions, at least, from the perspective of the observer.

Mr Nice Guy: This guy is often mistaken for the "kind guy." The reality is, that being nice to others is a facade. A mask they wear to hide their intentions. A typical nice guy will dash you a gift, but could ask for the gift back when both of you disagree. They are the "destiny helpers' who offer to help ladies and ask ladies to spread their legs in return. Their type of kindness is purely transactional. Scratch my back, I scratch yours. Alot of Doctors, lecturers, police officers, and people who hold positions of status often display this threat (my observations, anyway). I find it is dominated by men.

Given their differences, both can share a common trait. That is, their people-pleasing tendencies arise due to one insecurity or the other. Both may be looking for recognition or appearing to look good before others. In other words, they want some form of validation from society. Say, they are in some form of existential crisis. This is more so for the nice guy than it is for the kind person. For the kind person, it may be just one of his self-righteous repertoire, "I'm better than the rest." Or, it could be the delusion that giving will incur some form of blessing from another. Or, it could be a mix of all...

To address your concern, you must first understand your motives for trying to please people. Trace back to your childhood days, did your parents or those around you make you feel less of a human or inadequate or incompetent? These are usually the culprits as it's true for me too.

1) Why are you being "nice"? Begging for attention? need validation? Boost your ego?
If so, then there's a much deeper issue to address. I'm afraid it's one where you, yourself, must validate and understand your self-worth. Otherwise, no amount of "How to Win Friends and Influence People" or "48 Laws of Power" will free you from that insecurity.

2) Why can't you say no? Scared they might not like you? Overly empathetic? Self-sacrificial lamb? Jesus much?
Again, mend the hole in your soul.

3) Don't want to hurt their feelings?

I suggest you have a "go-to" phrase for gently informing people that you wouldn't be able to offer assistance. "I'm sorry, I wish I could help, but I can't."

If you can tell "why" you'll know the "how to" answers.

budaatum:
The guilt he did not feel in 1991 or 1999 that he all of a sudden has started feeling now?

That pig did not care who he harmed and feels no guilt whatsoever apart from the guilt of being caught!

I wouldn't say he feels guilt. From his statement, just regret. Unfortunately, he couldn't outgrow and heal from the harm done to him when he was little.

cococandy:
Oh interesting

I usually don’t know people’s alternate monikers like that

The letter D is his signature moniker. Accoring to him, Budaatum, Lordreed, Kobojunkie, and anybody who doesn't agree with him, are agents of the devil with the intention of leading unsuspecting nairalanders astray. Plus, the baba sabi LIE!! But, he's a good Christian though. hahahahahahahahah

LordReed:
Don't mind StillDtruth, he sees everything through his twisted self identity.

Ahhhh, now I see, StillDtruth, is the infamous, Dtruthspeaker... Hahahahaha. I'm like, do ya'll know this guy somewhere....

GloriousGbola:
Stop projecting son.

Your dad made you a cum receptacle and told you that was normal.

It isn't

Getting diddled by the Sperm donor who sired you is not what we call a healthy relationship with your dad

Look at the real men here, learn from them, and break the chain.

Maeve7:
My uncle doesn’t have to set boundaries because his mother’s policy is to stay out of his business with his wife. She chooses not to interfere. She doesn’t even want to know their issues if they have any.

I can’t say what would happen if she did want to cause trouble. He is a very masculine type but the love he has for his mother is very strong so I can’t tell what he would do, if and how he would set boundaries.

However, some people would refer to his type as mommy‘s boy. I would. You wouldn’t. That’s what makes the discussion interesting. But I can also relate to your concept of mommy‘s boy. To me, it just shows that there are different types of mommy’s boys ranging between healthy and unhealthy attachment styles.

I don’t mind my son being close to me when he grows up and I won’t lie, it would make me happy, if he was as crazy about me as my uncle is about his mother. I only pray to have the wisdom to stay in my lane.

It depends on what you mean by "momma's boy" as the term can be used to designate a boy who's closer to his mom than his dad, or a grown man who's entirely dependent on his mother to take decisions (in every ramification of his life) on his behalf. The sense in which One.gal is using the word, the technical term, is the derogatory one---for a man who's overly reliant on his mother; almost incestuous.

So, if the uncle calls mom at every juncture, then, unfortunately, that would be the case of being a "momma's boy" --- the bad kind.

"His body, his choice"

This is how people with sense campaign!

May God help us oh.... Hmmmm..

chatinent:
Hello chief,

Which of my ads? The one on research writing?

Cos here is one: https://www.nairaland.com/7327012/thesis-dissertation-writing-service-international

Thanks! Grammarly nd others please..

chatinent:
You'd have to link it to a freelance platform like Fiverr to have those features.

seems s.eun has removed all your ads. Can I have those sent to my mail? Thanks!

Kobojunkie:
Nonsense! That the man was able to successfully commit suicide means it is in fact an option. And when you say "God", which one do you mean? Obatala? Orunmila? Ogun? Sango? Ifa? Amadioha? Osanobua? Obangiji?... which of the Nigerian deities do you refer to?

except, Obangiji and Osanobua, The above aren't "God" na ...... More like gods, in the same capacity as YHWH.