₦airaland Forum

Nashville: Bros, I think you have asked the real question. I am not sure I see abuse here or too many red flags. I just think Vure does not want to marry this man but she feels indebted to him. The man may have obvious character flaws but may or may not be an abuser. Sending a driver to take you everywhere is not a bad thing. Getting angry when you hang out with your friends is a red flag and him yelling at you is another one. You keep saying you are scared of him, but you havent said what you are scared of. I think you are scared of telling him you dont love him and what he might do after that. May be I should ask "do you love this man?". If no then dont marry him.

The way I read this just suggest to me Vure does not really love this man and would rather not marry him. Vure the answer is simple, find a way to tell him quickly so that he knows where he stands. Let you mother be with you and also get some mens around you if possible (in case he gets violent). [b]Try get a doctor close by in case he suffers a heart attack. [/b]But, I am not sure if this one is abuse o!

jidegirl12: Ha ha .... He allowed you to heal ? So he's not a monster after all? , most Domestic Abuser I see and read in Articles & documentaries ( such as: CBC's 'passionate eye' & OWN's 'the devil you know' which happened to be real life stories ) respectively are cold blood non-passionate , meanie ( like you described your husband) and would care less to ponce on that woman regardless of her condition in less than 2weeks after delivery.

I apologize for stumping in your column you created for 'the Abused' but I'm glad I get the chance to talk to you one on one off that scary thread.

All I know is it takes two to tango... you don't marry with such huge age difference likeyourmarriage and your likes in that thread and not expect some kind of authority over your life, it's a no brainer and you know it... Your eyes were wide open when you married this man and made those innocent children.
He's much older than you and has been bossy since you started dating him and he will control you and you signed up for it...when you married to an older person, you're more or less his chaperone.

I'm not gonna advice you because it's not my place ( In one of my Fav person on NL's words: I'm Pro-Marriage) , but that's my piece I've been boiling to purge for days.

Good luck in your next step and take care of those children you hear?

swag queen: Hahahaha...... once,i tried convincing him to pay stipend into my account monthly just as savings,he went about telling people that it was my mum that put me up to it.that was how i forgot that one.he makes sure i don't hold any cash on me. He shops for the kids and says since my MIL drives,she can be doing the household shopping. Even airtime for my phones come from him. Quite pathetic!

Uredaddy: I got beaten if I don't pick his calls, was not allowed to relate with neighbors, keep friends, visit family members or leave the house without his permission. He goes to the market to buy stuffs in bulk so I don't get to go to the market so I wont have money. He makes sure I don't have money on me and he will never give me any allowance for my personal upkeep. The highest amount he gave me was #20,000. He accuses of flirting around with guys, goes thru my phone and threatens me at every instance.
.

Cathaliya: Women should really learn how to grow that heart of stone....this world aint that of softies....no sire..!

Exponental: Many parents are responsible for their children's failure. Instead of allowing her to do it in d open, guide n direct her, they are encouraging her go in d secret way. Secrecy will lead to bad advice from friends n secrecy will lead to hiding, taking advantage of any opportunity dat comes n most likely, sex, pregnancy n abortion. She shld express herself to someone close to her parents.

iykemoney90: Pls nairalanders I need your advice. I was dating this girl 2 yrs ago before she moved to turkey with the family because her dad is a diplomat. Although we didn't break up before she left,we were still in communication for about 4 month before I stopped hearing from her,instead voice mail will pick her call,she won't come online on fb and she neva replied all my messages so I felt I shld move on with my life and am currently dating a someone nw. On 7th of this month,she called me on phone and told me she back to the country,I was excited a little and also surprise because they normally stay 4yrs anytime they move to a new country. So when I met her she apologized for ignoring me all those while. But the fact now is that she came back to Nigeria because of me and am already dating someone. I ve been at war with myself. What do I do?

larride: Lord forgive me for wasting my mb on this thread. I will never disobey u again

judii: Oh! Ok, pls by all means, move on with your life jare! But abeg, don't rush into another relationship so fast while you are @ it. U can start trying out relationships when u are properly healed. Believe me madam, your husband would come back 4 u guys one day but I pray it won't be too late. I hate situations like this because the children are the ones who suffer it but what can one do! All the best.

Blaze124: See your life! You sent me a msg to deposit 2k in your acc. 2k is too small to scam. You r d op .go get a life bitch.!!

abdulkayus: dat one is a different situatn cos u are married. U cannot deny ur husband of sex, cos its a mutual right. We are talkin abt unmarried peeps. GF and BF ish.

sandy buckz: it a kind of liquid n root I chew so as to spoil d sperm, its a native stuff.
I get frm an old woman