₦airaland Forum

Lmao!! Women are emotional and sometimes get hurt easily , so stop to dey toture those girls..

Females use words to brag about their BF's to their friends, While males also do the same but with 'Actions'..

So Op, I leave the rest for you to decide on who brag pass!

***Observing***

Coldfeet:

lol..Why you dey squeeze face?

1. Righteousness------- Is when a christian family decides during christmas on not eating any chicken that's not a virgin..

2. Humility------ is when you admit to your girlfriend that your 15year old younger bro's manliness is two times bigger than yours..

3.. Honesty--- is when a police man blocks your car on the high-way and you start bringing out different documents and files, then he looks at you says "Oga, if you like bring paper or written note from "Heaven", you go still pay that N20"...

4..Unity ---- can best be defined as what made the whole of Nigeria agree on eating rice every sunday..

5..There is a diff btw Evening food and Dinner.
(a) Dinner------- Is when you eat fried rice and chicken, then push it down with fruit juice.
(b)Evening food----- Is when you and your three sibling share one pack of Indomie with one head of fish..

6.. Judgemental----- Is when you see a fat girl from distance and you conclude on her size by calling her "A baby cow',only for her to come closer and you realize that she isnt a baby cow like you Judged but an "Adult Elephant"..

7. (a) Maturity---- Is when your Girlfriend of good nine years cheats on you with your best friend just a day to her birthday and you buy her a cake the next day.

(b)Spontaneous ----- Is when you didnt tell her that the cake was poisoned..

8.. Fat and over-weight are two different words..
(a)FAT------ You are fat if you need two bra's just for only a (B)reas.t. One for the actual (B)reast itself and the other bra for just the ni.pple.

(b)Over-weight---- Is when your (B)reast is so big and has streched downwards to your stomach that people mistake your n.pple for "Belly button".

8.Slim and lekpa are diff words.
(a)SLIM-- You are slim if a wrist watch can hold your waist like a belt.
(b)LEKPA--- you are lekpa if the only visible difference between your chest and that of a man is the fact that---- your ni.pple attempts to bring out milk..

9..There is a diff btw RUN and PICK RACE..
(a) RUN--is what you should do when your neighbor calls you to come stand as his witness in the police station. Trust me, If you go, that same neighbor would end up being your witness for a crime you didnt commit. The police might accuse you of killing their DPO when in reality, the man is at home sleeping..

(b) PICK RACE---Is what you do when you see an Armed drunk police-man approaching you, Only for you to touch your back pocket and realize that you have only N15----- N5 short of being 20Naira..

10.. (a) Disaster---- Is what "Hurricane Sandy" did to the Americans no too long ago when it flooded towns and destryoed properties..

(b) Disastrous--- Can be best Defined as how "Thunder ASUU" has been striking Innocent students for the past 6months even when its not raining.

11.. (a) Endurance----- Is when you have written Jamb for good six times without any succes and still have the guts to purchase another form for the seventh time.

(b)Trials---- Is when the result comes out and you scored 199, just one mark short of your desired school's cut-off.

(c)Temptation---- Is when you buy the form for the 8th time and passed, Only for the school of your choice to tell you that ----- they do not admit students with d7 in english.

FEEL FREE TO ADD YOURS!!!!

Its no news that there is this piece of crap called "THE DICTIONARY" written a very long time ago by some group of drunk old bearded hairy men who were bored and thought to themselves that the next best thing to kill boredom they should do is just to say "Gibberish",write it down on some piece of brown Scroll with ink and pass it on from generation and generations to come as a "Legacy".

Guess what? Their plan worked. BUT it wont any longer cos BELOW is the right way to define words and understand them better..

Thank me Later!!
Feel free to add yours!! Its all for fun!!

Look below!!

Jekyll & Hyde:
[color=#000033]Cool. When you go serve am?[/color]

Lets just say if we were assume days were meal times, Today and some days to come is/will be breakfast..

I go serve am for Dinner !!!

dre11: even the mouth looks good on his body

lmfao!! Dre!!..

Njo, all that hair wey dey the dog body na just half of wetin dey only your right ear!!

**abeg later things; I get one unfinished business to handle**

njokusboy: Hahahahahaaha, jeeez, where una from dey get this useless memes??

.....

Reincarnated: And she already has a dog. Una mehn see enjoyment

Lol.. No be only enjoyment..

dre11: junior or elder sister
me i would prefer the junior one
ooooooo

Come again *** brings out bottle***

who is this junior sis?

Jekyll & Hyde:
[color=#000033]Kslib, what's up? How the project dey go?[/color]

Excellent!! Ideas are already on the plate.. Next step is just to serve them..

ochon: Lol. I had an emregency travel back to school on monday, will be going back finally tomorrow, so I'm enjoying reasonable amount of light for now . How good is the breaking bad?

Oh!! Enjoy while it lasts.. .. Breakin bad is more than good.

@dre, i see you too. You sef na my guy else, I wouldnt have given you my sister. .

@rein, the puppy is for my baby, not mine.. My one year Old Niece!!

My brother, what she is asking for is not possible,thats the truth. Come-on, how does she expect someone who has shared alot with her as her 'lover' for the past year and a month to just remain friends with her? Maybe she just wants to continue seeing the toture on your face when you guys become friends..

She broke-up with you,ok! But she cant ask to remain friends with you------ she cant eat her cake and have it.. Op, you still love her,so being friends with her will just be pure toture..

Tell her NO! I am not saying you guys should be enemies ooo but close friends? Hell no!

Do not allow her know whats happening in your life after the break-up, she'll be curious to know whats going on in your life, if you still miss her and feel hurt.. Keep her in the dark, and t rust me, some ladies esp exe's dont like that..

You shouldnt be enemies but the truth is------ you also cant be 'friends'. Hope you understand what i mean by 'friends' in that context...

ochon: Yeah. Make we ex the matter

How your side. You no near this thread last night. Wetin happen?

Ma side dey ok!!

I just dey busy dey watch TV show. Before sleeping, I stay small, read comments then sleep.

How your light situation, E don dey better?

alosiby92: Talking about boys and baby goats in Nairaland....I heard a certain "gentleman" quoted a conversation you and I had....
Na wao...
E be like say the thing pain him gan
full grown man! writing epistle about how sad he is that someone talked about something and didn't mention his name....
mscheeeeeeeeew!

Kslib~next time, I would appreciate it if you told it to my face or at least called us out instead of bringing it into the bba thread and "editing" my name out while shamelessly leaving SOM's...vendetta of life.
I thought your actions were rude and semi immature....especially when your name wasn't mentioned.
Digging up people's posts and ghosting their threads~not cool! not cool at all...
wetin do you sef?

Lol @ first bolded, anyway Insult well accepted! And as for the second line after the bolded, I have nothing to say and wont say anything cos I have no dealings with you..

So you expected me to do what? Start ranting about BBA on that thread? Besides, I edited your name cos I didnt even want people to know or see your name. Is there anythin wrong in that?

I didnt dig-up her post like I had something against her or whatever, I only did that when I saw it, just to let others know that sometimes "What happens on BBA thread doesnt always stay there,some take it to another level"...

And as for you addressing me with the title "shamelessly", I 'll also let that slide.

I purposely removed your name in the first place cos I wanted to avoid what you are doing now as much as possible--- guess it didnt work..

Look, being mature is not all about being old or claiming to be one and at the same time, labelling others to be 'immature'.. Read all what you typed, the approach you took, your choice of words and tell me what maturity is all about.. Its like you really wanted an exchange of words or something.. And if the friend you are so hot to defend was mature in the first place, I wouldnt have made the post that led to all this.. Maturity speaks for itself and no one can speak for it or claim to be one(mature).

Anyway, guess its all my fault(even when i removed your name), so sorry for that..

And as for BBA folks here, sorry for the 'issues' being caused here cos of that post. E don finish.

waxdude: Ok..haven't seen it though

You havent? I'll recommend it.. E make sense.. My eye don red sef!! Just started season 3..

Warning::: You fit con like drugs pass food ooo.. By drugs, you know what i mean.. ...

How to enjoy watching it best in 3D::::: Just drag like 4 wraps of Egbo, then press play carry go..

waxdude: lma...wat tv show?

breaking bad!!!

Druidèlla: Kslib, if that's you on your profile pic, you're cute.

lmfao!!!

I don suffer!!!

waxdude: @kslib hawayu

@ochon hawayu

I dey fine oo, chairman!!!
.. I dey watch one tv show wey wan give me heart attack, asides that, I well!

How you sef dey?

Now this very laughable!! Me? Stalk you? Lol.. Na wa oo, nothing wey man no go see!!

Look, that thread is amongst the first 7 to 8threads or so, that when you start scrolling down, would welcome anyone who checks Nairaland's general section and mind you, it has 52pages, so how is it un-popular? The thread is on Nairaland's General section, so why wouldnt anyone see it?

I was checking through threads when I came across the th thread yet again, and what even made me curious again was the name ---- It sounded strange and what was it all about that stretched it to a whooping 50something pages.. I remember checking it out one time in the past and readin few posts but still couldnt remember was it was all about sef.

Didnt have the time and patience to check all the pages, so i checked on the first few pages and checked the last pages that started with a round figure cos thats my tradition on threads that are too long for me to follow.. If it's 28, i'll start from 20, it its 32,34 or 39,i'll start from 30.. It was 52 pages i think, so I Started from 50 and that was when I saw that post of yours.. If it was even up to 54, i wouldnt have continued cos it was kinda boring to me..

I wasnt stalking you, neither was I going throught your posts.. Besides, there is nothing there to hide--------- I have gone through some people's profile here in the past when i had the energy and I see nothing bad in it.. I believe once in a while we all do so, so no biggie.. Whats there to hide if I did go through your posts or stalked you like you claimed.. Besides, I just learnt something new--- So going through people's post is now stalking? Hmmn!! Anyway,I repeat 'I didnt'..

Call me attention seeker or whatever,thats your problem. You were the one who addressed me with past issues even when it was un-neccessay and i replied.. So who is the attention seeker? I laugh!!

Lastly, anyone who knows what philisophy is all about, how the human mind works, how the universe is connected and how energy vibrates in people, be it Online or in real life, will understand how human INSTINCTS work and how it leads people, even subconsciously..

Glad the issue will be laid to rest just like you said cos me sef don tire for the matter..

** digs its grave and covers***

lol! Now this is very funny to say the least. Na wa ooo. So E don even reach this level sef? lol. Anyway, its all good. Was just going through random threads in The General section,when I came across this..

Ok, now read the two replies below but pay emphasis on the second one!! I modified the name of the first person cos she is not on this thread....

iby:
Som your last post on Nairaland too make sense die....
As in! I agreed with everything you said...including the part about you dear handsome relative
Chai! Jobless babies plenty for nairaland as well as male goats in heat...its shocking the kind of threads that make the trending page these days are all borderline dealing with indecency in one for or another....

I tire Sef....
As for the relationship wanting folk ..yep...there are those as well...

StateOfMind: My dear, that prostitute thread made me sick... One guy asked a female poster "name 3differences btw you and a prostitute"... And the way they gather 60likes and above for disgusting comments just made me give up on nl boys(def not men), and apparently, the likers are all boys who share the same opinion.

On another thread where men and women flirt n chat jokingly, I was shocked when one boy said he thinks some of the females that flirt with them use it to boost their ego and I'm like wth? Some of these boys just think too much of themselves..can deal man..

First of all, so it has now reached the extent that she has started gossiping or should I rather say "reporting" me to her online friends even when I have absolutely nothing to do with their conversation? smh! See how she brought my matter out of nowhere and put me in the middle of the whole talk which is aimed at "expressing disgust for some NL(boys not men) like they call it------- Even when kslib has nothing to do with it. Madam, why are you on my case again? Have we met before,maybe in the past life? Why do I get you so worked-up even when my intentions aren't for bad? Do you secretly love me Or what?

See how she lumped me together with the guys who called "All women prostitutes" on that thread. I only saw the thread once and said I'll read it later but forgot. But after reading what this girl said about me, I decided to just go through that thread and after reading just three pages or so, I was kinda confused as to why this girl thinks "I and those who called women prostitute on that thread are the same OR reason the same way "? Ok! fine, you think I am a boy and not a man, no problem, thats absolutely fine, I wont argue with what you think of me(cos it doesnt matter to me) BUT for christ's sake, what does the conversation I and 'rein' had some time back(which you mis-understood and refused to admit due to your pride) got to do with "***iby's" comment? .. Lol. Its unbelieveable that someone would go to such lenght just cos she wants to express her disgust for another moniker.. lol.. This is funny sha!!

I have typed enough epistles concerning the "Ego issue" here(and dont plan on doing it again) and just like expected, you did what everyone who says a false thing and gets challenged with proof does----------- You cowardly( U also addressed me with this word,remember?) ran away. The modified comment that lead to my reply was even later revealed, so everyone will see the truth but still, you didint say anything. Why? Cos you were wrong and your "ego" wouldnt allow you admit that your emotions got the better of you. You couldnt bring yourself to admit that you spread falsehood.

Its no news that when some women place an "X" mark on you, there is nothing you would do to get out of their black book, they will continue to "express this disgust" towards you for some strange reason you arent even aware of but madam, I'll advise you express your disgust in a more professional manner and do it when the situation at-hand or whatever being discussed relates with your target.

Look, everyone must not agree naturally or just like i told you sometime back "Some people's universal energy doesnt ryhme by default". But that doesnt mean you should say things about them to other people even when the situation doesnt begs for it. I find it very uncomfortable that i have even to re-visit this old issue but I wouldnt have even made this comment in the first place if my instincts as usual didnt led me to an Issue that concerns me--- thats by the way, anyway.

I wonder how many more people to come on this thread, i'll have to have a tense back and forth with.. I thoroughly dislike uncomfortable arguments,E-quarrels,fights and try my best to always mind my business, but what choice do I have when it keeps coming to my face even when I try to avoid as much as possible? I hate being mis-understood and try my possible best to "debunk a false claim" not cos i enjoy talking too much but cos I hate giving "claimers' the impression that they are right,when In reality they arent.

Trying to always set the records straight by stating your points albiet atimes in a "strict tone" ------- has this way of giving people the impression that you "Like wahala" or "Feed on trouble-insults", but that "so-called" impression wouldnt stop me from defending myself always. The last thing I'll do is put-up a pretentious diplomatic attitude when ideally,the situation needs to be tackled with the "truth"..

I had to limit this whole epistle and post a brief summary vos it might just be too long to read!! No one should tell me to just forget the issue cos I already did so, but just felt the urge to answer this when i came across it..

And as for the epistles,not also forgetting those allergic to it, you need not worry folks cos this will be the last of its kind. I promise!
Well, HOPEFULLY!