₦airaland Forum

1. Does my child really need a tutor?

Having served as an education administrator and education psychologist for the past two and a half decades, I have observed that most parents don’t actually know what they want. Most time, some parents don’t need a home tutor; they might have just needed the service of a baby sitter, nanny, maid, psychologist or counselor. We once had an experience with a client in Nigeria some few years back. The client called to request for a home tutor for his daughter in year 5 preparing for common entrance examination. While assessing the pupil, the assessor observed that the class teacher of the pupil had written to her parents to ensure that they give her maximum attention because she usually loses concentration while in class. This learning disorder really affected her academic performance in school. Further observation revealed that one of the reasons for loss of concentration by the pupil was the constant misunderstanding and discord between the parents. So, while giving our assessment report, we recommended that the child would need the service of an education psychologist instead of a home tutor.

2. What subject does my child really need to be tutored on?

In many instances, most parents feel that they know it all. Parents often depend on their knowledge of the result of the academic performance of their children in school to determine which subjects need extra attention. Professional experience has proven that majority of the results of students’ performance are not the true test of academic strength or weakness in the subjects. Some examiners or school teachers award marks and grade students based on several reasons. Some teachers may choose to award marks to reward some students based on personal reasons; in this case, it would not be rational for parents to conclude that the child is outstanding in such subject. Instead of relying on the school result, parents are advised to ask for their child’s view and opinion about their strength and weaknesses in each of the subjects registered in school. Also, parents may look up some tutoring agencies offering unbiased assessment for pupils to determine their academic strength and weaknesses in different subjects. Most agencies would charge for this service but I can recommend Think First Tutors (www.thinkfirsttutors.com.ng) for a free assessment anywhere in Lagos.

3. Can I afford a personal tutor?

The monthly charges of some tutoring agencies are as expensive as the school fees of some schools per term. As a parent, you need to consider your income and the expenses already incurred on school fee before considering getting a home tutor for your child. Don’t depend on one agency, try to contact as many agencies as possible and choose the one you can afford. You can save yourself from financial embarrassment if only you can plan ahead and consider your financial strength. Most tutoring agencies in Nigeria charge within the range of N3,500 to N5,000 per session.

4. Does my child need a male or female tutor?

Research has shown that most male pupils (both in elementary and other stages of learning) are more comfortable with female tutors than male tutors while female pupils in the elementary stage of learning are more comfortable with female tutors but those in other stages of learning are more comfortable with male tutors. You may need to seek the opinion of your child about his/her gender preference of tutor. Also, fro some security reasons, some parents don’t feel too secured to engage the service of a male tutor because they have a female child, this challenge can be controlled with the presence of an adult or security camera at the learning environment. Apart from the case of insecurity on the part of the pupil, some wives also feel insecure with the presence of a female tutor in their home; who may seduce their husbands and eventually break their marriage. We advise that there should be a serious consultation with all parties involved before making the decision to choose the gender of the tutor for your child.

5. What is the credibility of the tutoring agency to be used?

There are many tutoring agencies in Nigeria today; in fact there is a need for a registered body that would serve as the National Association of Nigerian Home Tutors just as we have in other countries. This body should help to separate the fish from the bone. I was once asked to be the pioneering member of a similar association for home teachers in Nigeria but after two to three meetings, the fire quenched for no reasonable reason. Parents please don’t rely on the testimony on the websites of the agencies you see online, most of them are fabricated. Read reviews; let people recommend reliable tutoring agencies to you. Don’t deal with tutors personally, deal with an agency. If you deal with a credible agency, you are always covered; you can file a legal suit whenever the needs arise.

6. Is my home convenient for lessons?

How convenient is the space reserved in your home for learning? The lesson environment is a key factor in private home lessons. If the space reserved for lessons is a traffic area, the child will easily be distracted. Under no circumstance should you decide to use the balcony, sitting room (except if it is guaranteed that the television will be switched off and no visitor will be welcomed during lesson), bedroom or shared compound for home lesson. Try as much as possible to keep the learning environment tidy, fully ventilated and well illuminated. If convenience is not guaranteed at the space reserved for lesson, there is no need for home lesson; you may have to consider enrolling your child in public lessons which is relatively cheaper but less effective for some pupils.

7. Apart from the school’s academic report, how do I assess the progressive performance of my child and the tutor?

This is very essential. From close observation, most tutoring agencies in Nigeria do not give progressive monthly assessment report of the pupils. You need to be updated about the performance of your child on a monthly or periodic basis. Also, you need an unbiased report of the achievement of the tutor himself/herself so as to know what had been taught and the challenges that are supposed to be attended to. You really need to get value for your money. You can’t just pay for a service rendered to your child without knowing the details of how the service is being carried out. Before paying the agency, ask for a monthly progressive performance report. Please, start activating the “no report, no payment mode” right from your first day of signing the deal with any tutoring agency of your choice.



Akintomi Omoshebi is an education administrator, education psychologist, education consultant and writer. Presently, he works as a researcher at Won-on-One Consult. You can reach him via wonononeconsult@gmail.com. Remember, your child doesn't care to know how much you know but how much you care about him/her. If you don't care, who will?
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https://edutalkonline..com.ng/2018/02/7-questions-to-ask-yourself-before.html

What a shame!

Tell them

budiliscious:
@OP Thanks for making my day. Many Nigerian celebrities really need to read this. This post is front page worthy. Highly Recommended.

Just my thoughts...

olutions:
i always find it absurd when people do that, you wont even have time to post your whole existence online if you really have something valuable to do with your time.

i wonder how my fellow girls do that. You are sitting at home jejely, minding your business and waiting for important alerts and messages, only for you to see them tagging 500 people because they went to shop take pictures at ikeja mall with one cup of ice cream

Creative!

Nowadays, we live in a world where the status of some people on the Internet can have more significance than what’s happening in the real world. With this we most often try to evaluate someone’s life based on the photographs that appear on their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Snap Chat page and what they write about themselves. And most of the time, we are always wrong in our judgments.
This piece is about the fascinating reasons why most happy Nigerian couples don’t post their entire lives online, and it is really worth sharing with you here on Nairaland.

If everything’s going well in a person’s life and relationship he/she shouldn't just see any sense in wasting time writing posts online to prove this fact to others. It’s not that you should never take photos or check your social media feeds, but your relationship with your partner should make you so happy that you need not to be distracted by making other people know how happy you are. It is just as if you stumble on a big box of diamond, would you want to share it with others? If you really find true happiness with someone, you would treat it cautiously.
Any couple that parades their relationship problems online for all to see will gain nothing from it.

You’ll gain nothing from posting evidence of how happy you are on your social media pages.

You don't need to show people that you are happy, it should be obvious and they should discover by themselves. The joy is to be found in being together, not in posting about being together. For people who understand this, constantly posting on social media has little appeal.

No one has to prove anything to anyone

People who are in a truly happy relationship don’t have any interest in using each other to prove how happy they are to others. Happiness in relationship is different from portrayal of happiness in movie scenes where you are expected to make your viewers believe what does not exist. In true life, it doesn't work that way, don't deceive yourself, the most important person you need to show your love to is your partner and not your fans, family and friends on social media. Most times, many couples give their utmost attention to social media at the expense of their primary reponsibility. Majority of the instances of failed marriages in Nigeria today is usually as a matter of a partner trying hard to impress other people about a relationship which he/she does not give adequate attention to.

And the most important thing...

Researchers have found that those who don’t use social media are on the whole happier than those who do because they don’t constantly compare themselves with their colleagues and friends — all of whom always appear to be somehow better or happier. We too often forget that all that matters are our real lives, our relationships, our experiences, and our feelings — and not the endless search for popularity online.
This article is written to sensitize the potential couples, newly married couples and mature couples about the menace of the use of social media in publicizing our relationship to others. We have had a lot of failed marriages in Nigeria this year, please don't be the next victim.

This article is written by @kurlarday, Kolade Abel Akinyele; a researcher and writer at Thinking Media Limited.

Nowadays, we live in a world where the status of some people on the Internet can have more significance than what’s happening in the real world. With this we most often try to evaluate someone’s life based on the photographs that appear on their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Snap Chat page and what they write about themselves. And most of the time, we are always wrong in our judgments.
This piece is about the fascinating reasons why most happy Nigerian couples don’t post their entire lives online, and it is really worth sharing with you here on Nairaland.

If everything’s going well in a person’s life and relationship he/she shouldn't just see any sense in wasting time writing posts online to prove this fact to others. It’s not that you should never take photos or check your social media feeds, but your relationship with your partner should make you so happy that you need not to be distracted by making other people know how happy you are. It is just as if you stumble on a big box of diamond, would you want to share it with others? If you really find true happiness with someone, you would treat it cautiously.
Any couple that parades their relationship problems online for all to see will gain nothing from it.

You’ll gain nothing from posting evidence of how happy you are on your social media pages.

You don't need to show people that you are happy, it should be obvious and they should discover by themselves. The joy is to be found in being together, not in posting about being together. For people who understand this, constantly posting on social media has little appeal.

No one has to prove anything to anyone

People who are in a truly happy relationship don’t have any interest in using each other to prove how happy they are to others. Happiness in relationship is different from portrayal of happiness in movie scenes where you are expected to make your viewers believe what does not exist. In true life, it doesn't work that way, don't deceive yourself, the most important person you need to show your love to is your partner and not your fans, family and friends on social media. Most times, many couples give their utmost attention to social media at the expense of their primary reponsibility. Majority of the instances of failed marriages in Nigeria today is usually as a matter of a partner trying hard to impress other people about a relationship which he/she does not give adequate attention to.

And the most important thing...

Researchers have found that those who don’t use social media are on the whole happier than those who do because they don’t constantly compare themselves with their colleagues and friends — all of whom always appear to be somehow better or happier. We too often forget that all that matters are our real lives, our relationships, our experiences, and our feelings — and not the endless search for popularity online.
This article is written to sensitize the potential couples, newly married couples and mature couples about the menace of the use of social media in publicizing our relationship to others. We have had a lot of failed marriages in Nigeria this year, please don't be the next victim.

This article is written by @kurlarday, Kolade Abel Akinyele; a researcher and writer at Thinking Media Limited.

cococandy:
I don't understand how cheating and killing go hand in hand.
Why don't people say a man who cheats on his wife can kill her but rush to say that if the wife cheats or is suspected of cheating.
If this isn't sexism at its peak, I don't know what is. That's BTW though.

As for your predicament, no advice.

I have seen sisters-in-law like you so eager to find faults with their brothers' wives that they jump to the first negative conclusion they can lay their hands on. If you didn't dislike her, the first thing you should have done as an adult is to communicate with her and judge the truth for yourself based on her reaction.

What is this one saying ke? Dislike kor, disliking ni.

I beg make we. No start to dey carry sentiment enter this matter. By the look of the food and my personal preference as 'ofe manu' as Igbo people dey call us, I go dine with Bae. Wife's and sister meal (as presented above) look like poo, mum's is still manageable but the Bae's na elele. For those who want to criticise me based on my choise, na waaaa for you o. I be one woman man o. But I chose Bae based on the pictures presented above.

Richy4:
I don't really understand you...what do you mean by is the minor's friendship more important than girl's family

<<<If her father was informed about her mother's promiscuous life style, and the marriage ends, was it gonna affect the child or not?...What soul are you now saving;that of the father or the kid? Do you think the kid will be happy with the aunt?
The kid made her wishes known to an adult...She should respect her wish and find another solution around it...I respect people's wishes irrespective of their age

If your 7 years old daughter confides in you that you should not tell anyone that she swallowed a pin some seconds ago, what matters to you most? The secrecy or her health. You need to tell the doctor, open the secret, save her life and explain the implications to her when her health is restored.

Aquariann:
When it's a case of cheating, y'all sing "leave their family alone". But when it's a case of for example physical abuse, you'll encourage the victim to report to the same family members you want to stay out of their business?

Destroy a home you say. Any man or woman who cheats on their partner has already kicked started the destruction of their himes with their own hands. So if reporting to the other partner would fast track the destruction process, them so be it.

Why engage in acts capable of wrecking your home in the first place?

I couldn't have said it better bro. Double thumbs up to you.

poshestmina:
If at all you are married as you claim ,you would be minding your own life and family instead of poking ur idle nose into someone else's marriage and who knows what your brother is doing behind aswell . As for the thread you dug up ,that was way back when women were girls ...FACE YOUR OWN MARRIAGE!

I'm sure you don't know anything about family bond. Despite the fact that I'm married, my brother remains my brother and my family remains my family. I still advise that you go through the OP's post once again or ask someone more mature to explain how it feels when you think you could have prevented a dangerous act after it had already happened.

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A fast growing cleaning firm in Lagos is in need of efficient , reliable, energetic and experienced cleaners to be outsourced to her various clients all across Lagos owing to expansion in business operations. Do you consider yourself fit for the task? Send your details to any of the contact details below. Your message should be in this format:

Name: Adio Hassan

Sex: Male

Location: Victoria Island

Age: 28 years

Years of Experience: 3

Previous Organisation: Dentol Clean

Phone: 08080808080

Send as text message to any of these numbers: 08034791190, 08180458852, 08137560674,

A fast growing cleaning firm in Lagos is in need of efficient , reliable, energetic and experienced cleaners to be outsourced to her various clients all across Lagos owing to expansion in business operations. Do you consider yourself fit for the task? Send your details to any of the contact details below. Your message should be in this format:

Name: Adio Hassan

Sex: Male

Location: Victoria Island

Age: 28 years

Years of Experience: 3

Previous Organisation: Dentol Clean

Phone: 08080808080

Send as text message to any of these numbers: 08034791190, 08180458852, 08137560674,

What a family! Their father is a lucky man. It is rare to have a pilot in a family but he has 3 of his kids in the air. May the Almighty God also make me a fulfilled man in my career. Click like if you wish this for yourself or share if you think it is not a big deal. Good morning Nairaland!

Lagos: 2b72707e

Such is life...

The strong ones don't always win the battle,

The swift don't always win the race,

The wise are not always the best,

The richest in the world are not the professors or dudes with the highest IQ,

There is a twist to everything that happens in life

No man knows it all, there is a SUPERNATURAL force that controls the universe

#AskYourCreator

liquidmetall:
Please how can a lady say she is a virgin....at ist won't allow you go near there ,then suddenly one day she allows you to gain access to her body ,when entering there you discover d place is just normal ,not like a virgins hood ,no blood to determine her virginity ,no struggle ,no stress,u just had sex with her like other normal girls who aint virgins ,the thing just slipped in ,yet amidst pains and little cries to take it easy that its painful ,even while d deed is still going she beckons on you not to go deeper ,that its still painful ,after everything she starts asking u when is blood going to come out ,


Note ..the lady is expert in kissing and oral
Said she learnt them from porn and still persist that you were the ist person to enter there after much confrontation ,and also sweared with her destiny and career that she was a virgin when u met her


How crazy can this be...getting confused

Her virginity could be spiritual. Don't ask how.

Joavid:
lots of women are living in denial of this fact.

That's true.

"One thing I ask from thee oh Lord; make me neither too rich nor too poor. If I'm too rich or too poor I may be tempted to say there is no God".

But before I leave this earth, I want the whole world to know me as the man who has his name on the list of the world richest and in the book ok life. #NothingIsImpossible

It's good to be kind. At times it may hurt but at the end you would realise that it is worth doing.

Please, let's make this clarification. There is a big difference between someone who loves food and someone who eats too much. I like food, I like varieties, I like delicious food and I like cooking too. When I encounter people who do the same (either male or female), it is like the deep calling unto the deep. It is usually a great moment having people with like minds around, sharing opinions about new recipes and all sort.

On the other hand, I have learnt in life that too much of everything is bad. Someone who eats too much is at the risk of obesity. There are many health risks involved too just like someone who drinks too much of alcohol or someone who thinks too much. So, @OP don't get it twisted, from your perspective, is your colleague a glutton or someone who just likes food? Your answer will determine if she needs a piece of advice on changing the way she eats or believing God for a real dude (that guy may not be real).

This is true. Sometime ago I read that if you never disobeyed your parent for once in your life and you are 30 years +, you are still a kid. In most cases, being tough, stubborn and stiff minded are part of the qualities of great minds. It takes ruggedness and toughness to be on top of your game. You don't have to be 'yes sir' all the time. There are times that we have to challenge the authority and question some conventional practices. In such cases, while growing up, many people could tag you as a rude dude, crazy lad or bad boy...but I tell you, the good ones don't last. The bad ones eventually turn out to be the good ones and geniuses as they evolve. Lucifer was once a glorious angel, Hitler used to be a fervent church boy...the list goes on.

In all, in as much as we can never take away the place of loyalty, honesty and obedience in raising a child, we should also consider the implications of absolute loyalty, honesty and obedience. We are not robots, we are human!

What a loss! RIP Henry.

The lady's dressing...

Engagement or wedding proposal?

@OP you are not expected to use a question mark when you 'hope'. It is just an expression of what you hope, not a question.

Now, I hope you have learnt something.