₦airaland Forum

Naomi14:
This is like additions to the main course. Do search the rest.

Cc: laeroy

Thanks..... dearie.....I'm grateful

WebSurfer:
A life in Canada that many Nigerians would kill for is what this idiot took away... two lives

Don’t go into relationships when you are not emotionally balanced enough to handle the worse

Modified: have once picked up a knife threatening to kill an ex who never wanted to submit to the truth after getting a hint of her promiscuous ways from her WhatsApp convos the way I decided to creep in (which I never did before).. dropped the knife and left after she cried and confessed...

so if she didn't cry and confess, ull have killed her anyways..... Weldone....

I've been longing to meet residents within my local community, to interact, share ideas and also do business with.....

please indicate if u reside In Ijebuode and it's environs....

*ATTENTION EVERY ONE*
*OUR 4 IN 1 EASTER GIVE BACK PROMO STARTS on*
*Training Time Table*
*MONDAY*
*10 EBOOKS ON SEWING AND PATTERN MAKING*
*Tues - Weds*
*ANKARA CRAFT LESSONS*(clutch bag, purses, necklaces, slippers from scratch, bangles and earrings etc)
*Thurs- Fri*
*SEWING VIDEOS ON HOW TO MAKE DIFFERENT STYLES*
*SATURDAY*
*Lessons on Importation and how to import from China*
With free E-book as guide..... (it might interest u to know dat I Imported my wedding gown from *China* via Dhgate.com , join me as I unveil to u the secrets behind it
All for *ONE THOUSAND NAIRA* 1000
Chat or call me on 07066800606

lonelydora:
Whether BamBam is a choir member or not, she has blood flowing in her veins and has feelings too. All these people reacting like chemical reactions do worse things secretly. BamBam is being real.


Meanwhile, i thought 85% of Nigerians do not watch big brother, because there's no moral in it? How then do you all get the news?

via social media

Does she even have what it takes to win the cash prize...... I do not think so...


Meanwhile
So I was thinking of what style to make for my best friend who happens to be my daughter, without settling for the usual , common styles we have around, So I took pains in learning the art of fabric manipulation with reference to CANADIAN SMOCKING, The upper part of the dress was smocked before, cutting, Sewing and further embellishing with fabric flowers...
I will be uploading my self made video on how I achieved the upper part of the dress later in the week....join this group via this link
https://mobile./191415431447312/ to be part of the class.....

Good afternoon everyone..... I do hope our day is going well at work , please mothers I need food recipes suggestions for my kid who just started school recently.....

She's 2+ and I need ideas on what and what food to package for her to school.....Your ideas will be highly welcomed.......

Offer still available....... plus bonus e-books give away... call or chat me on 07066800606 for enquiries

Dammylois:
True talk....Truth is only a few people genuinely care when you are still struggling,until you are at D top of the ladder doing good for yourself

The truth is nobody cares when ure still struggling, I repeat nobody cares,

Zykod:
Can we talk outside this medium ?

ok bro....I'll send u a mail.......

Zykod:
Why are you downcasted? Why are you unhappy? What is the issue?

I've been doing lots of spendings lately, the inflow of cash is nothing compared to the outflow,,....with my mind also racing back to the thought dat i might have conceived (this is not sure yet), if True, wondering how I'll cope with pregnancy and d job put together,,...

These has been the causing of my never ending depression .

So I decided to do all that everyone advised,,but I don't feel happy, I'm down casted and depressed,but it's okay, I guess this is wat life has to offer and throw at me..

And ur parents....are the ones asking u to post pictures all over the cyber space.....pathetic liar.....

Pearl05:
Have you seek the face of God in your family? The scripture says; the heart of the king is in the hands of the Lord. Speak to God concerning your husband.


Surrender your life to Christ. Let his love fill you up. He will strengthen you . He alone can work through your husband.


Don't give the devil chance to destroy your home. Think about your little one. Do you really want to punish her for your actions?


Pray & Communicate more. May the peace of God be restored in your home. Amen.

Amen....Thanks so much for this kind piece of advice...

Oyindidi:
Your husband can't speak for himself after all you've said about him. You are angry

We've just had a round table talk, i'll give u updates later, I love my husband so much just incase u don't know, but when my Security in his house is threatened, Its definitely not out of place when I begin to restrategize.........
But after tonight's discussion, using a subtle tone unlike Yesterday morning's rant, I'm able to view things from a different perspective....

More updates later...

Oyindidi:
Tell him to create a thread on Nairaland, I'm interested in his own version of this whole issue. Truth be told, you are a self-centered person. Judging from your post here. Work on yourself too as you intend to control him as he is contributing little for the family's upkeep.

U've told me this severally. ..and oh yes I'm a self centred person.....When u have anything else to say let me know......

chigoizie7:
From all the write up I have read from ur part.

All u kept doing is, saying all the bad things he does and doesn't mention the one u do, or u just justify them.


If u want to leave ur marriage, leave.

Apparently, u have been listening to people outside. The same way u want our opinion here.


Young lady work on ur home.

Thank U, but obviously u didn't read all my write ups...

Zykod:
Okay. I'm still in transit, i'll reply you within the next 24-36hours

Alright sir...

Zykod:
Cutlass, this is not a healthy clime o... Jesus Christ.

Can you outline the problems you think are the main problems between the both of you? While i was meditating this morning, i, how do i put it, there are some things i wish to share but i don't know if i have the time to type.In the main time, i will like you to outline the root problems you feel are the core problems in your marriage with him...

Ok, I'll break them down as much as possible as I can....

(1) Responsibility Sharing: (We have different ideologies on this), U should understand this by now....

Let's assume he takes responsibilities for everything in the house,I tell u there ll be less issues in here...
He doesn't have to clothe nor feed me, I'll be fine


(2) Respect / Submission... ( He says I dont respect nor submit to him) Maybe becos i usually Oppose most of his actions, he feels I'm not respectful enof, he wants me to pamper, cuddle, sweet talk and say yes to everything he wants, I've told him that he should have married Aunt Ramota from ososa village if he wanted all that...

(3) Allocation of resources ( I have stopped fighting him on this),I have said he can do whatever he wants or desires with his Money and I can do whatever with mine, but he wants me to support him with mine yle not doing anything to ensuring dat I have a bit of security in the marriage....

These are few of the problems I can think of

Zykod:
Yes, please be silent. Don't talk about issues that led to your quarrels anymore.

Please forget about the loan, it's not his fault the business didn't go as planned.

PLEASE MADAM, DO NOT INSULT YOUR HUSBAND BEFORE A THIRD PARTY ANYMORE, OR CHALLENGE HIM EVEN WHEN HES WRONG. FIND A TACTFUL WAY OF DELIVERING THE MESSAGE IN YOUR HEART TO HIM.


THIS IS WRONG@

.I told him to his time one time dat he is an asslicker and full of eye service, he always love to be seen in good light....dats why most time in church, sometimes people talk anyhow to him but he will be dere laughing like a fool, but try dat with him at home.....all hell will be let loose......


IF THEPROBLEM PERSISTS, I STRONGLY ADVICEYOU VISIT AN ELDER PASTOR IN YOUR CHURCH FOR SPIRITUAL OVERSIGHT. BUT I SEE LOTS OF INCOMPATIBILITY ISSUES BETWEEN YOU BOTH, IT'S PROBABLY ONE OR BOTH OF YOU CHANGED IN THE MARRIAGE. IN THE END, YOU BOTH NEED REGULAR MENTORSHIP, SOMEONE TO MENTOR YOUR MARRIAGE SO YOU BOTH CAN NAVIGATE THE STRAIT BEFORE YOU. THIS MARRIAGE CAN STILL PULL THROUGH....I DON'T SEE THE NEED FOR A DIVORCE, BUT LIKE I SAID EARLIER, PREPARE FOR AVERY LONG ROCKY RELATIONSHIP...

The first time He threatened to use a cutlass on me if I don't pack out of the house before he returns from work,I cried Very hard, immediately I called the Venerable of my church, But he didn't respond the calls of the vicar, I then called my parents and siblings to inform them about his intentions...

Immediately he returned from work, He started going out and coming in with fury in his eyes as if he was looking for something , the next I saw was his Fathers wife and aunt, who came in to settle the matter........after that episode of quarrel and disagreement, I didn't mention it to the Venerable and the Ven...likewise didn't ask me about it...

I also noticed that he doesn't want me to involve church elders and leaders , I guess this is due to his reputation in the church...

NoToPile:
Am I the only one seeing that the husband said she should do most of the laundry work ( washing, ironing and starching) plus the house responsibilities and taking care of the child.

Is it too much for her to ask for the laundry work to be shared equally between them, yes any woman would ask for that noow?

Is laundry that easy a job to do for a woman at a commercial scale? What man would want to overwork his woman to that extent, I am almost certain it's being ironed and starched by hand.




That's where I had a problem with this whole story.

This has also been the major cause of our disagreement, infact it was exactly what caused yesterday's, Conflict, I simply told him to go Starch the clothes he went to pick up himself, the next he said was, it was my job to do it and not his and that infact, he created the laundry business for feeding purposes and since I don't have a job I should be in charge of it.....The work of starching isn't easy not to talk of ironing.......Just this morning I have ironed one Ghana must go full of clothes , but he was in the room pressing phone and chatting himself away......

I have always challenged him it's our both duties to do the laundry work.......Starching and ironing shouldn't be left for me alone...but I noticed He doesn't like starching at all,
my major Fuss bout it all is dat he wakes every morning and press phone....while I wake earlier before him to run the house chores before doing laundry work...


Last year when I was into Laundry, and side income jobs......I worked myself thin just to ensuring I make ends meet....... Sincerely if it wasn't for my contributions (I'm not praising myself) , his families would think i probably brought bad luck to him....But I keep patching things up just to cover up for him......

Sometimes I feel like just closing up the laundry business and just fold my arms doing nothing, but the truth is I can't help it, My baby will definitely suffer for it.....

Remix10:
v

Just be submissive.. If you love him, you should stay. The reason you rant is just because you are more financial stable than him.

I love him so much, meanwhile I said before in my previous post that we have always argued and fought about this issue even wen I was idle and had no kobo on me....Anyways thanks for the advice sir or ma...

Zykod:
My spirit is telling me there's life in this marriage and you shouldn't leave. I want you to accord him the respect he craves for. Especially now he's at his lows, he needs it, he needs that affirmation that you respect him, especially since his business failed. It wasn't his fault, please can you look over the business failure. Funny thing is, he's remorseful but won't tell you.You can spice up things in this marriage by :

1.According him more respect, elt him feel something has changed

I do respect him to the best of my ability....I guess I'll have to be utterly silent now when he speaks so as to avoid further commotion..

2. Discuss with him and seek his approval especially if you will be using your money for stuffs that affects both of you,make him know his the head and you believe it is right to get his approval before doing anything. He's not made of stone, he'll come back and love you more, trust me.[/quote]Zykod, I used to be that way, this is someone who has access to my atm card and pin but I do not have access to his even when he had money in his account, When he discussed the issue of changing the car, It wasn't convenient for me, but I had to oblige his request of getting it, There are still so much more I have done here dat I can't even mention, My pain is the (Park and Go threat and also not doing everything to include me in his will), God forbid he dies tomorrow, do u think it will be easy for me to have access to whatever he owned, I have spent my income on frivolities in the past but he spends his on Assets, Education yle I'm supposed to be at his Mercy......All my efforts on the family are not seen yle his are seen...

Just the other day, One sister in my church was sent parking from her husband house, if the lady didn't have a second plan( she was building her house), she will prolly be the only one at the receiving end of the marriage break up....

3. Get an elder to mentor your relationship, but of you are almost equals, by getting an elder(pastor), you can be both more open and discuss what's in both of your hearts to one another. In the end, what you both hid in your hearts takes a significant part of what's eating you both up.

I can open all that is in my heart, initially I was like dat, I told him that I love being blunt and cos we are one he should be able to know everything going on in me, but everytime we have a fight, he will use my words against me always....So I have decided to keep secrets to myself alone, but then most times I can't help, I'll just be forced to tell him but he still ends up using them against me...


To tell the truth, My husband looks very cool, infact his reputation in church is per excellence. (he holds some crucial post in the church and used to be the president of the youth forum) but people view me to be the No nonsense kind of person, so no one would believe me when I tell dem dat he is very adamant, governed by policies (especially submission policy), and would not change it ever for anything........I told him to his time one time dat he is an asslicker and full of eye service, he always love to be seen in good light....dats why most time in church, sometimes people talk anyhow to him but he will be dere laughing like a fool, but try dat with him at home.....all hell will be let loose......



Finally, i counsel making him his fav meals, tell him you want to remember how you both started, and you both need to discuss, and talk with him, he's not a demon, have an heart to heart talk, he'll open up to you. From there, you can both find your way[/quote]For countless number of times i have made him his fav. meal after a fight but after finished meal, we will need money to buy another meal, Na there fight go come start again.....
This year alone he has more than 500k debt to clear.....He has gone to borrow money from the bank again to clear the tuition fee of his younger sister who is still in an higher institution but his own child can't go to school just becos he Feels dat his wife has money and must use dat on her....

Zykod, I have heard all that u said......I'll treat him with all the respect he wants, But I'll not foolishly hand over my investments to him, even if I do it will be for major investments....Not eat and run (lol).....

Zykod:
I asked you a question Madam, i'll ask again, what do you want in your heart? Do you want to win him back? Divorce? What exactly do you want?


You both need to speak with a counselor, i recommend speaking to a senior pastor in your church or someone you both respect. You ha differences that can be easily addressed if there's a matured handler to mediate in this crisis

Yes I do love him, but if I can turn bk the clocks hand I'll be with a person who is more understanding and open minded, I wouldn't want divorce cos of the way it's been viewed in this part of the world, and also for the child's sake but then I'm opened to it as I can't always ba at the receiving end of a man's constant psychological and emotional abuse....

Zykod:
Submission took many of our mothers into conditions they didnt like. Yes, Christ advocates submission to husbands, but there's an unwritten clause in that scripture that gives a woman the right to " withdraw " not rebel, notice my choice of word, to withdraw when she senses the man isn't following a safe course. You're both incompatible, you have ideological incompatibility, but you just didn't check or overlooked it before marriage.


What is in your heart madam? I perceive in my spirit, the relationship is far from healthy, but what do you really want yourself



Making a woman enslaved to a man's will is not submissiveness Christ spoke about. Submissiveness implies supporting the man, being this pillar of strength when needs arises, trusting him to make the right judgement and willign your decision in line with his to make the right calls for you both, not individually. Do you discuss and plan together? Do we work out how to carry out projects with one another? Is it a sergent lead and you must follow even if you have that gut-feeling you shouldn't follow relationship? Truth is a woman should follow her man, but if and when he persistently make the wrong calls, no woman with her right senses will want to remain on such track 100%


Whatever you do, do not hand him the control of your life.

Yes bro, we have plans, We have finance consuming plans, The problem is who foots the bills, So this year I told him wT i wanted to do wt d savings, he didn't object neither did he support me, but he wanted to use the money for ( buy and sell used cars business), I agreed to lend him the money but then he knows he must return it, unfortunately the plan didn't workout until D's fight came up.....

Update--- He's presently in the living room, while I'm at the bedroom.... Both pressing fones away
..

jaszplus12:
good...now here's the situation: if you report at that registry he's bound to know he has a responsibility in this situation... they will settle the case amicably ...is registry not as good as court marriage? did he read the "terms and conditions" of registry before signing the dotted lines?
please see a responsible barrister at law on this issue...he will let you know and have your rights.

All right bro.......

Zykod:
He thinks you being at his mercy is submissiveness. He needs a mentor to talk to him, his ideologies is the problem. There's no witch behind your marital issues, your hubbies' ideologies is the problem



You don't know me but i think the punishment or re-balancing tool God is giivng you in your marriage is your financial prowess. Your husband want you to completely live off him so he can manipulate and control you. He wants to emasculate you, and your not following the script makes you unsubmissive, you will need plenty of patience to remain with this man.I dont advocate divorce, neither will i ever condemn him, it's just how he sees life and what he has been exposed to that's the problem

The funniest thing is that he accuses me of same, He said my ideologies bout marriage are now obsolete and that I must discard them, This is majorly the cause of the never ending issues btw us, But each time he wants to make me feel guilty, he reminds me of Ephesians 5:22-23, (The submission Tales), however I also remind him of christ being the head of the church , which he is to submit to, which makes me ask him all the time.,,.Daniel, Do u submit to Christ in everything you do