₦airaland Forum

Geminita1:
This hair i must get it before the year runs out. It can transform your look from a 7 to a 10. The same hair Tacha used to deceive all her fans.

I can't come and carry last.

Na her hairstyle be the problem of this one. shior!
A BEG I NEED A PROFESSIONAL FASHION DESIGNER THAT CAN SEW MEN AND WOMEN WARES, BASICALLY WOMEN WARES. YOU MUST BE ABLE TO WORK UNDER LITTLE OR NO SUPERVISION. LOCATION IS IBADAN OYO STATE. CALL OR WASAPP ME ON 08130009525

Offpoint1:
Tell your friend to CATEGORICALLY tella his mind, cus currently I'm IMMATURE and UNINTELLIGENT to respond.

But you have responded already.
Anyways, I guess you feel my colleague is good to talk to her with this development. Thanks for your mature and intelligent response.

Oluwatosean:
Why is it so important you know if she is interested in your colleague..

Is your colleague interested in her??

Yes he once told me that he likes her. So tell me, what do you think?

One of my colleagues told me that he has this beautiful lady in his office that always come around. That the lady told him categorically that she is feeling shy to look at him when my colleague asks her to look at him while they were exchanging greetings. Experts in the house, could it be that the lady is interested in the guy? Thanks as I expect your matured and intelligent response.

That her smile is so inviting. In fact, it aroused me

''NO FAITHFUL PARTNER DESERVES A CHEATING PARTNER'' Now how do you explain a situation whereby the wife constantly deny her husband sex? Do you think she is faithful and committed to her marriage vows?

doitforyou:
So you agree then, that men making up excuses for cheating is crap. People cheat because they want to not because someone made them to.



God punished Eve, rightfully so, because she ate the apple too. They both paid the price for disobedience, they were both held responsible for their choices. So someone corrected you up thread and you still insist on being misleading. It seems your post was a rant so all your dude bros will come here and bash women as usual. You were never interested in an objective dialogue.

If you hardened unrepentant women continue to disobey God by failing in your marital responsibility to your husbands, you will be punished also.

faithfull18:
Lol, true, it's a personal decision.

Yes, it is a personal decision. Adam took a similar decision and he found himself outside the garden of Eden together with his wife. It was Adam that took the decision but God punished both Adam and Eve. Even with the excuse Eve gave that it was the devil (family chores, the children, her being an emotional being and stuff), she still met herself outside God's paradise. So if they like let them continue to make their excuses.

Sadiama:
I agree with this. The reason most women ignore sex is cos they don't enjoy it. Sex is psychological to women. A woman who is stressed with so much family chores will most likely not have sex in mind.

And that is the more reason why men go outside to get it from single women that are not stressed with so much family chores. When they are not married they enjoy it, now that they are married when they supposed to find time for their husbands and enjoy it the most they are using family chores for excuses as if their husbands are eunuchs. They will not follow what the holy scriptures say about denying their husbands sex. They only follow their own emotional and psychological whatever, then why did they go into marriage? don't they know what it entails? unscriptural excuses all over the places.

yeyeosoronga:
Your own words have condemned you. I cannot take seriously, any 'born against' who thinks committing adultery can be laid down at the feet of his wife. It shows you are one of the fake born against parading about.
Like I mentioned earlier I don't care if you decide to be unfaithful to your husband or wife. I won't judge you. If you want to continue doing that, I couldn't care less. I'm actually very open minded.
What I find appalling is doing it under the guise of - its someone else's fault. You have to learn to take responsibility.
If you want to get a girlfriend or another wife, please do so because you want to. Don't blame your wife though, and say its because she's caring for your children.

Your word is not holding water neither are you making sense with your unsubstantiated submissions. I don't think you are a bible believing Christian woman, rather you are just a mere social critic. Cease misleading people here, please. Is like you don't seem to understand the message the OP is passing across jare.

Belafonte:
Get a bloody side chick and stop disturbing us here

My brother! thats still not the solution because that is not the will of God for any man. The side chicks will still disappoint. If God will help wives to take note of this and consider their husbands then the problem is solved. The children they are using to excuse their irresponsibility will soon grow up and be independent, they will have no excuse then.

djon78:
1 Corinthians 7 King James Version (KJV)
7 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.


Here is what the Bible says about marriage sex. The man or woman has the right to the partners body.
Defrauding a partner sex is sin, because you are exposing the person to temptation. On the other hand the man should support the wife, maybe hire a Nanny to help in domestic and taking care of the baby as some families do so there will be a balance.

"so there will be a balance"

Now, this is a very beautiful example of a fair play, not the misleading opinion some people are downloading on the forum. This person JUST BALANCE THE EQUATION. Nobody is perfect, be it the wives that are exposing their husbands to adultery or the men that are involving in it.

yeyeosoronga:
Thank God, he is merciful. However, you are on a path to self destruction trying to justify adultery because your wife "pushed" you to it. What makes it more ridiculous is that you're even bringing God into your shenanigans.
The hottest part of hell awaits you when you who claim to be a Christian cheats, lies to your wife , and then keep your concubines. All in the name of God.. Disgusting.

Madam self-righteous, I am in no way justifying adultery neither will be part of the people that will encourage others to sin. As you rightly said God is merciful and I dont think He has given any man the power to pass a sentence on a fellow man as you did. You, a corruptible man cannot judge your fellow human being because you are not omniscient, you know next to nothing on what some people are going through. These are things that words cannot explain. Go and learn how to be fair, polite and reasonable in baring your opinion publicly such that everybody will note where they are lagging behind to make necessary corrections and not make them to feel guilty or condemn instead of being quick to criticize as if you have not commited sin today.

doitforyou:
You just made my point. Why would you care about the emotions of a side chick? The only emotions you should care about is your wife’s and kids’.

I mention side chicks not because men care about their emotions but because you people think that men see it as a solution to their unending need but, its not. Do you know most of these men involve in this so call away games out of frustration? They never negotiated for it in the first place. Of course, a sane man will care for the emotions of his wife and kids but the wife also should be conscious of the need of the person God is using to provide her basic needs.

doitforyou:
Lalopeto, the bolded is the answer. Most Nigerian marriages are dysfunctional. Husbands love and trust their mothers/family/friends/side chicks over their wives, wives pour all their love unto their children. Nigerian men are okay with the physical submission of their wives could care less about her emotions. It’s easy to get physical submission from a Nigerian woman but it’s near impossible to command her to submit emotionally, Nigerian men have to put in the work to get emotional submission. The “work” is what Nigerian men refuse to do.

Side chicks don't have emotions abi? Na only married women have emotions. In as much as I agree that raising up kids is an herculean task for both the husband and wife and that i respect your mild opinion but, this does not still erase the fact that the woman should forget her husband outrightly . See I am not supporting men looking outside for sexual gratification or what have you, of course, it's not even the solution because those outside chicks are emotional and crazier. Women conscious consideration of their man's need will go a long way too.

yeyeosoronga:
Your message is deceptive. Eve was punished becasue she also ate of the fruit. Adam was also punished for his disobedience. If Adam hadn't eaten of the fruit, he wouldnt have been punished. If Eve hadn't also eaten of the fruit and Adam did,he alone would have been punished.
A wife is not responsible for a husband's wrong choices. Salvation should always be personal. As a God-lover who doesnt want to to to hell, your eye should be on the prize- making heaven. And not distractions like concubines, wickedness to your wife and children etc. Timothy tells you to "Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth". You cannot be a workman of God who won't be ashamed by keeping concubines for whatever reason. The fault all lies at your feet and not your wife..
If you're not a true believer and you were just born into your religion, then you shouldn't have started putting God into your post because you fall short of the standard.
You don't seem to understand the responsibility God has placed on husbands. Many like you have managed to shift the goal post by trying to push that responsibility on the wives, but we all can read the bible and we see through your deviousness. I wish we had more responsible male mentors like Tony Rapu to mentor our Christian young men

You are an unimaginable hardened hypocrite! Your thoughts are misleading. Who are you to judge me? Are you up to the standard of God your self? I guess you are a feminist. Please stop misleading humble women that are on the forum to learn and pick the areas that have to do with them rising to their own responsibility in the marriage institution. If a woman fail in considering and meeting her husbands need she sinned against God.

yeyeosoronga:
You need to take responsibility for your actions. Nobody can push you to hell, unless of course you want to do so yourself due to your selfish desires.
Will you also justify those who go into crime like armed robbery because things are hard, and friends and family don't respect them. So is it their friends and family who don't respect them that encouraged them to go to the path of perdition?
They already had wickedness in their heart, and no friend has a hand in their decisions.
When a man loses an emotional connection with his wife, dont blame the children for it. He needs to go back to the drawing board and find out why his wife is no longer interested in meeting his emotional needs. What went wrong? Has he also being neglecring the needs of his wife? Does he berate her and shut her down most of the time? Has he been trustworthy towards her? Has he been performing his husbandly roles in the home? If he has not being good to his wife, she will naturally pull away from him.
This has nothing to do with the children, but a coping mechanism.
I cannot excuse cheating men , as I wouldn't excuse cheating women by blaming their spouses. They wanted to cheat, and did so. No need to push the blame of your bad behavior on someone else. Own it.
Even Adam, the first man tried that nonsense with God, and blamed the woman Eve and even blamed God for creating the woman who he claimed pushed the apple down his throat. He didnt tell us it was the greed and covetousness in his own heart that made him gladly accept the apple to eat.
It's always everybody else's fault but your own- either your wife or even the children of your loins.
You need to be ready to be accountable for your actions and even inactions o, broda

It is true that whoever commits sin will have to be punished and bare the consequence regardless of whoever he claims to push him to it. But, remember that it was BOTH Adam and Eve that God punished. So, wives if you like work on this topic and try not to be a stumbling block to your husbands' wrongs choices if you like go ahead and listen to what this person is saying. The message is clear now!

It's like people are not really getting the message especially those women that are just responding without paying attention to details. The topic is not saying the husbands will neglect the children or maybe because of their need for the attention of their wives will refuse to show affection to their kids. Of course, they will, and they will surely play their fatherly role to the children. The topic is saying in clear terms that in a situation where both parents are playing their normal role to the children and the wife because of this forgot her own responsibility to the husband thereby making the later to feel lonely and unimportant, will send a bad signal to the man and can eventually lead to the collapse of the union. So, if they fail in their marriage you think God will be happy with them? [b]And we should have it at the back of our minds that if the relationship between husband and wife is not cordial these children the wife is dying because will still suffer. [/b]Women/wives, accept this fact and adjust, don't encourage your husband to go to hell because of your negligence!

Pavore9:
Going to hell is a personal decision, you can't blame another human being for living a life that will make you end up there as the Creator is not interested in blame games.

Yes, we can't blame others for our sins. But we should be our brother's keepers. We should not be a stumbling block on each other's way

sisisioge:
Hmmm....have you taken time to think about what these wives have to endure daily?

1. They are the ones whose bodies have to change so drastically to cause them some insecurities. The expanded pu.s.sy, the stretch marked bellies, the flappy crestfallen booobs, the baby fats, etc. Sure, you guys would argue that she could "work"(the exercise and restrain is a lot of work!)on losing the weight. But what's she supposed to do with the stretch mark , fallen booobs and the postpartum emotions? To add salt to injury, you found a chick outside that is what she was. But of course, she's a wife and mother that has duties!

2. These babies/kids don't take care of themselves. Dang, its a freaking full time job raising a kid, let alone children! But wifey is expected to combine this with her regular job ( we all mostly work full time jobs in Nigeria) and still summon the right energy to take care of the husband and the home. This is the point where the guys argue that they are the chief financial provider at home... Well, won't it just be nice to get a surrogate to birth these babies, nannies to care for them 24/7, cooks, housekeepers and life coaches, while the husband and wife divide the cost between themselves so everybody could retain their physical and mental energy to pursue TLC?

Oga, step out of your shoes and wear madam's briefly to see just how much hell she's going through just to keep it all together before you start whining about lack of attention or whathaveyou!. The more she has to hold the fort, the lesser energy she has for you baby No wonder, everyone is feeling cheated....its all about perspectives.

Your lopsidedness is unparralled. Spare me pls

yeyeosoronga:
So It's now the wife's fault that a husband is cheating? Do we also blame the husbands of those women cheating in their marriages?
You say your wife is showing affection to your children, so you're cheating?
Should your children's needs be abandoned because of you? Why dont you join your wife in pouring love on your children, and at the end of the day you end up doing things together as a family and subsequently raising balanced children.
You did not say your wife is showering attention on another man, but instead your children and that becomes a problem?

Madam, go over and read again, it is not about the wife showering affection on the children, the issue it's about failing to accept the fact that it is the man before the children and it will also be the man after the children are grown to be independent. there is a need to balance up here. Women should learn not to encourage their hubbies to make choices that will lead them to eternal damnation.

SirVintageCock:
Why not focus on the children too
Cheating is a choice. If you can't take it anymore, leave instead of blaming some else for your sins.

You sound like one of the wives we are talking about. You are not being realistic and considerate. Focussing on the children is not the issue. Of course, any sane man will be affectionate with his children. Wives should not use God's gift to destroy their home and encourage their husband to make the wrong choice

I have observed with dismay in recent times that housewives become something else when they are married and start having children. They tend to shift affection and intimacy from their husbands to the kids and, this has created a lot of distance between them and their husbands. Consequently, many husbands have turned philanders and this has increased the rate of promiscuity and adultery amongst men in our society.
Men that are not able to bare it will go into polygamy and those that want to retain their marriage will start running after young girls outside marriage in order to satisfy their sexual needs instead of fighting their wives at home because of sex, This they do secretly. My fellow nairalanders, what's your opinion on the foregoing if my own submission is wrong on the issue?

LUck really ran out from him.

Meanwhile, there is crude soya oil for sale. I can easily link you up. contact me if you are interested

buygala:
I am beginning to suspect that this Khafi does not menstruate





Abi how has she and Gedoni been fvcking 24/7?

Na wa o

PERSON WEY DON GET BELLE TETE NAI HIN DIS ONE DEY TALK. SHE GO COMMOT AM LATER

Allsingles:
You can proof me wrong if you have seen any long distance relationship that worked according to what you put down here.
You don't need a visionary to tell you that your wife need someone that can be put oil inside her vagina when you are away for months before visiting again.
Call her attention in the bedroom, you must first apologize to her for starving her sexually because she is human and she has sexual feelings too.
The major reasons for the ups and downs is because she needed you emotionally and physically too but you are not there.
When she needs you to have sex with her you are not there.
When she needs you to romance her and probably tell her how beautiful and charming she is you are not there.
These things affected your Marriage and you should be responsible for it and fix it.

Apologize to her for starving her and then beg her that you have totally come back to be with her.
Don't ask her to confess anything to you because the confession may destroy your Marriage forever
If she didn't change for good, then involve her family and your family, but don't forget to be very close with someone that she always listen to in her family.

You can also read to be in a healthy and Thriving Marriage.
https://allsinglesandmarried..com/2019/08/how-to-be-in-healthy-and-thriving.html?m=1

Hmm.. I don't starve her. You see when the going was still good she was the one that normally complains that my wahala too much for inside room. Na fire make cray fish bend.I just relayed 30% of our marriage story to you. Nevertheless, I do appreciate your advice and now that I am back home I will start my wahala again when we resume intimacy by the grace of God. Thanks

djoe21:
Maybe you can raise it as a prayer point one day when both of you are praying. I am not joking o

lol lol lol laugh laugh laugh!!!!. Very funny but makes a whole lot of sense. Hmmm.... Wonderful, I love this and I will try it one day. Thanks ehn.

Hmmmm....(Deep sigh). If this is a true-life story then is a very complicated one to handle I must say. I want us to be realistic here, living in a house with a known pathological liar and hypocrite and also with fully known bastards children for over ten years is not an easy thing o if we will not deceive ourselves. The truth is, the husband can never heed to the advice of the people saying he should keep it secret and move on. One day he would wake up and throw all of them away and that would pay him exactly with his own coin because he too has restitutions to make. The wife might have even found out his secret long ago and ready to talk back any time he decided to confront her.
My advice is this,

(1) The husband should try and confirm the DNA result he earlier did in another reliable hospital
(2) If the result is the same and he knows he can't endure living with them, then he should call a meeting and all secret should be made open and there and then decisions should be reached to avoid further wasting of money on people that were never his.

Richy4:
My brother, I am not an expert in this kinda situation but in my humbly opinion, U have started pretty well by opening Business and all in terms of empowering her Financially...

You prayed together, do everything together.. That to me is a positive development if you ask me.. The thing is that you have been away throughout this relationship.. which was not any of your fault.. what u did is referred to as a man got to do what a man got to do... I got your back on that.. Do not beat yourself up.. You did nothing wrong in that aspect.

u want to have a normal relationship just like any other couple, just maybe Courtship is what might save it. Do it as a challenge... "act" as if you were courting her again for the second time.. Can you remember and do those things you did 10 years ago that made her came running to you?, maybe it is time to rekindle the spark and Fire u guys used to have .. romantic text message, Dinner once in a while in a Restaurant.. a time alone somewhere in a park without the children.. etc.. It's not compulsory that it must cost money..

FYI no one is too old for love/ Romance..just give it a go. there's no harm in trying.. Since we are all doing some suggestion here, if it doesn't work u try another..

Bless you bro. Your advice is worth considering, you guys are wonderful and amazing. Thanks. Long live NAIRALAND. I will definitely work on the advice. I pray it works.

nams77:
Thank you. My brother women are a complex being, you can never really fathom the depth of their emotions. Little and inconsequential things can sometimes be blown to monumental proportions.
How is her response to you? Is it cordial and friendly or does she show resentment at your presence?
I will still advice that you find a good time, when she is happy ( u can create that), and calmly, lovingly find out what's wrong. Sometimes women want to know that they are desired, appreciated and loved. Even if you say it a million times, they never get tired of hearing it and may even pick offense if you stop.
Compliments her, her clothes, shoes , hair, cooking. Listen to her. Show interest in her issues/ education and i pray these and much more re-ignite the spark in your lives. Shalom

Alright bro, I will continue to try. I really appreciate your advice, its noted

nams77:
Come, how old are you? Do you think job falls from heaven? You think if the man has a job nearby he wouldn't accept it with outstretched arms?
Or you want him to resign and come home and sit at watch his wife with empty pockets. My friend, try and stay jobless/ broke and see your once loving wife turn to a mean, nagging machine as bills pile up.
Its obvious the man has sought out plans to move closer home.
Now @the poster. There Are a lot of immature and stewpid folks on this forum. However, try and weed out the useless advice you will get here ( majority)
Its not easy to be in your shoes. Have you asked her what's the reason behind this action? What was her response? Let's start from there

Putting Spanish fly in her food/drink is just a temporary measure. After the act, what next? Everything returns to status quo, problem still remains. Tackle this from the root pls.
Good luck brother

Bless you brother. Your matured and intelligent response is unparallel. I have not taken time to ask her, i am still giving us ample time to get us more familiar to ourselves, besides, we equally have many things to do in the family that are important also. I just acquired a piece of land that we just started building on and right now she wants to further her education, but because of the sensitivity of the issue at stake that is why i am soliciting for people's advice. Out there are temptations, in fact, some husband - searching ladies will even prefer they are your second wife somewhere else.

Kingosytex:
Oga, I have to let you know that you really messed up by allowing your wife stay far away from you. You come home to see your family once in three months, that is four times in a year and from this fact i can point out that you spend less than a total of 60 days with your family out of the 365 days in a year. That is too poor, you really messed up i must tell you.


90% of long distance relationships are always doomed as a result of many factors the chief among them being infidelity. Do you expect your wife to believe that you weren't banging any woman up north to cool off the stress of life...after all, body no be firewood. You are even lucky that you didn't come back to meet your wife pregnant for another man.


It seems your wife had to make up for your absence by finding a person who lubricates her p**sy to prevent it from rusting since you were not always around to perform your marital duty.


I advise to sit your wife down, talk to her and let he tell you what her problem really is. If after that you can't still make a head way then take the case to your in laws and spiritual leaders pastors, priests, imams e.t.c. If they are still unable to talk some senses into her, then baba you go and get yourself a s*x toy. You see, life is too short to be bothered. This is the best i can tell you.

Thank you so for being blunt. I admit the fact that I used to come home from the north in every 3 month, but brother it was not deliberate because of the cost. How much am i earning where i work. But those are past tenses now. i appreciate your advice and i will really work on it.