₦airaland Forum

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How are you?

Madam Efe

Hi, come over to the V.I.P lounge, let's have some heartfelt conversation

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Can we yansh?

Get behind me Satan

Welcome

Madman

EFE

Hi

Yes/No
Are you okay for asking me that question?

WHAT

What about EXPENDABLES 2

Yes
Do you believe me

Where is my plantain chips and Viju milk

Hell No
Are you okay at all?

I saw these in the Politics section and decided to share it with everyone if you haven't read it before. Its about what would happen in Nigeria if we are to experience an hurricane like the US East Coast is currently going through Hurricane Sandy. Enjoy

Imagine say a 'Hurricane Abimbola' is heading for Ekiti State in 3 weeks.. First and foremost;

1. Prophet T.B Joshua will prohesy the hurricane.

2. Ekiti State Governor will hold a press conference advicing the people of the state to remain calm as government is working hard to see how they can tackle the situation.

3. National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA) will grant an interview on Channels TV and AIT saying that they are well trained and prepared to handle the crisis. That they are untop of the Situation.

4. The Federal Government will wait for the Hurricane to first land and wipe out Ekiti State then;

- Hold a day of National Mourning and Prayers and order the flag be flown at half mast.

- Visit the disaster location for a first hand assessment of the damage.

- Visit the survivors camp and share relief material (Mosquito nets, rice and
Indomie)

- Set up a committee to investigate the Hurricane and see how we can prevent future hurricanes from visiting Nigeria.

- Release billions of Naira (on Paper) for disaster management.

- Sack the Minister of Water Resources for failing to contain the water.

- Commend the State Governor, NEMA, Red Cross and other emergency services unit for their quick response.

5. The Senate willl hold an emergency session and condemn the 'Hurricane'.

6. Churches around Nigeria will hold crusades and Programmes with Titles like 'May Hurricane wipe out your enemies'.. 'Calming the Hurricenes in your life'.. 'Finding the Rainbow in your Hurricane'.. e.t.c..

7. M.I Abaga will release a single about hurricanes.

8. Femi Falana (SAN) will sue the Hurricane, F.G and Ekiti State government for their poor handling of the Hurricane.

9. A thread will be launched on NAIRALAND and be put on the frontpage and will hit over 20 pages in its first 6 hours.

10. CPC, ACN, APGA and others will blame the PDP and Jonathan for the Hurricane.

11. Jokes about BOKO HARAM claims responsibility for the Hurricane will go viral on Facebook, Blackberry Messenger and Twitter..

12. Many People will change their Blackberry Display Pictures to 'Hurricane Pictures' and their status will read.. #Hurricane Things..





All this and the people wey the hurricane actually affect go just siddon dey suffer..

iykak47: cry cry baby shaaarap, Bleep u, i have the right and power to quote you again and again, there is nothing you can do about it. The computer am using is mine not yours. Omo ale,oloshi oloriburuku.

So you speak Yoruba

Irony

Halleluyah. God is good.

Tunraya

God, Please forgive me for wasting 2mins of my time on this thread

I will never disobey you again.

Laitesmart: Itz just that i love u but i dnt knw hw to tel u i do...

Blood of Jesus
Orunmila
Shango
Obatala

sorry, can i have plantain chips and Viju milk

Just one joke and six likes i try now

Yes
Do you believe me?