₦airaland Forum

johnny handsom: Can you listen to yourself? No wonder they keep on duping you guys. I mean can you do that for your fellow man?
Helping a woman is like pouring water on a stone. Let her brother or husband do that for her. Stop carrying another mans burden. Fool!

Nna Everybody na fool for your eyes. Na only you Wise here.

Joy To The Wise!

Shinor: “Your appearance, attitude and confidence define you as a person.” -Lori Myers

PERSONAL APPEARANCE
If you desire to be relevant in life and be a success in all you do, you have to make a conscious decision to develop yourself. You must invest in yourself considerably. This investment however does not necessarily have to be solely monetary. But It will certainly demand other resources such as your time and energy. It will also require you to make lots of personal sacrifices.
The road to the top is often laced with numerous challenges and it is your ability to navigate these challenges successfully that will determine your outcome in life. In this race, you can never be over prepared. Once you create a picture of your destination, employ everything you can muster to achieve your goal.
Even mundane things such as personal hygiene cannot be overemphasized. It is often said that you get only one chance to make an impression. If this is true then you don’t want to let bad breath or foul body odour be stumbling blocks.
Take personal hygiene seriously. Some people have been known to miss opportunities for personal advancement because they had personal hygiene issues. Do the same with your dress style. It’s an important opportunity to convey a positive message especially for the first time.
Your appearance also says a lot about your confidence. Don’t forget people are always looking for confident people to help them. Boost your self confidence. Dress well. Look great.
A lot of people erroneously believe that to dress well must cost a lot of money but nothing could be farther from the truth. Looking smart does not have to be expensive. All that you require to look good is that your clothes are ironed. That you hair is neat and tidy and that your shoes are polished. No matter how much your jacket costs, if it is full of creases and while your hair at the same time resembles a forest, there are chances that you won’t be taken seriously.
Make an effort with your personal appearance. This is what people use most of the time to decide whether or not they will grant you an audience. They will treat you with more respect, take you more seriously, and find you more attractive.
Don’t flaunt the opportunity.
Get ready on your journey to greatness and don’t allow anything stand in your way!

TOP TIPS FOR DRESSING FOR SUCCESS
1. Be aware of fashion , but never a slave to it
2. Invest in quality - It looks, feels and lasts better.
3. Think versatility - when buying new items make sure they will work with what you already have.
4. Be aware of too many bright colours
5. Think of your shoes - ensure they go with the rest of the outfit
6. Think of the finishing touches- hair, nails etc.
Culled from the book On Your Way Up by Sina Adelaja-Olowoake

@OP Nice One.

There are film titled "Dressed For Success" I ve been lookin for. I wish I could get hold of it.

johnny handsom: Poster you are a big fool

Thanks Handsome John!

divinelove: U dont force frndship, d only thing i c here is dt u were hopin to b in relationship wit her later on. N may b dts y u helped. Deal wit it bro frnds come n go. Next time help unconditionally or spell out ur conditions before u help.

You are wrong there!
Read comments before posting your comment.

"d only thing i c here is
dt u were hopin to b in
relationship wit her later on"

Thats the ONLY THING you can definitely see!

lagerwhenindoubt: @OP what were you expecting.. you said you helped her, did you ask for something in return? that she has not given you, if not leave the matter be.. your reward is somewhere else

wasn't expecting anythin at all.

At the end,you are a matured
guy.Don't call her again.One
day,she will call and then you will
be the one not to pick.Take care


Thanks I Copy.

DDNICE: Wow! Thumbs up for the matured minds in the house and for this thread. This is what it should always be and not the first to comment babies u find when u open most threads

Seconded! It has got to a time when relating with ladies you tell them "I already have a wife" so they don't start taking niceness for sth else.
I once told a gal that "hey, feel free! I ve a fiancee" so that she wouldn't think I ve ulterior motives, because of her reluctance.

I ve really learnt a lot on this thread.

both those that condemned, praised, supported, felt my pain etc.
I feel refreshed now. am not indebted to anyone. poo happens.

even family members abandon us most times, we most deal with it that way.

as for those thinking I want sth from her, seriously speaking; I DON'T!. I just had d privilege to help & I did.
I am not forcing the friendship anyway.

lynpetra: Then why the calling texting etc....look I don't blame her.Men usually take advantage of the women they help! Myself when an helped by someone without any monetary payment,I don't get comfortable when he calls me as of wr are dating.I understand how that lady feels soy advice to you is to let her be because its obvious you are beginning to be a disturbance

See me see wahala o. because I help my friend (wey we dey very close, we chat, call, text etc) find job, am now a disturbance?

sorry case indeed!

A guy will definitely not post this. Still same "female" ish.

peclint: In life, I have learnt some big lessons. I used to get angry sometimes as I always go all the way to help people, but when it comes to someone offering me help, no one does, and the most painful part was usually the ones i helped, would not even lend me a helping hand.
So I made my rules
1) when you decide to help, help with a blind eye . Never expect anything in return
2) when it comes to financial help, don't give more than you can afford to loose, even if the person terms it as a loan
3) don't do unto others, what they can't do for you ( this applies to those I have helped in the past)
4) ignore rule if it is a life or death scenario.

GOD BLESS YOU!!!

luvola: bro as i said earlier , you just have to move on.. One thing i had wish to be doing is to help people around me if i have the power... When i was in 300level , God used me to help a lady to secure admission into my dept , the lady later dissassociate her self from , so i just have to move on... I also helped a course mate to secure his nysc posting to ogun state (batch B 2012) without me collecting a dime from him but common to say thank u to the person that helped both of us he didnt yet i still communicate with him still .. The moral of the story is we human beings are different in characters . Expect your reward from God ...

I said earlier that even if she bring anythin in form of gratitude, I will definitely not collect, she knows me. so why are you guys thinking am expecting sth?
"date" or "gratitude" is out of it!

lynpetra: Except she suspects you have a sketchy character,I don't see the reason why she is ignoring you.Besides why is it so important to you to the extent that you are asking for public help?If you help someone out of free will,you don't need to be the person calling,texting,etc.It shows you are stalking her!!! She is meant to be the caller not you.You have done a good deed by getting her a job,leave her thé hell alone to work for her pay! Abi you won still help her for her shift? Friends with benefit I guess.

How can u conclude that am stalking a friend?
For you to call it stalking, I believe you will do the same if you are in her shoes.
am not askin for "PUBLIC HELP". am only "SHARING MY EXPERIENCE" so that we can all learn.

Decryptor: @OP, i feel your pain. I once helped a close friend (female) to do her service year in Abuja cos i was close to Gen Tsiga's daughter. I assisted her without even collecting a dime. Na me even dey spend money sef...She got her callup and did her PA in National War College after which she landed a job in the Nigerian Customs Service thru a friend of mine that was working in her place of primary assignment. All these were courtesy of my efforts. Her salary is within the range of 155k now. But today, this same girl sees me on the road and does not even wave talkless of greeting me. That's how the female gender behaves...they tend to forget. I have learnt my lesson though...I'd rather help my fellow guy than a woman. because of that experience, i had to charge about 80k from a cousin to my collegue in the office who wanted to redeploy from Osun to Abuja. Never assist women without terms and conditions. That way, you have nothing to lose in the end

Case Closed! My own na small thing sef

slim fit :
It's God that got her the job not you! When will Nigerians men start thinking with their head not there dicks.

Mr Man. I Helped Her! God Gave Her!!
besides I ve no hidden agenda!!!

slim fit :
It's God that got her the job not you! When will Nigerians men start thinking with their head not there dicks.

Mr Man. Helped Her! God Gave Her!!
besides I ve no hidden agenda!!!

Nuzo':
A friend of mine was dating this girl who had both bones on her legs fractured in an accident. She was abandoned by her family to the mercy of this guy.
Dude cleaned, wahsed, cooked and fed her for months. He also took care of the hospital bills.

When she got well, he helped her find another job.

To his surprise, the girl stopped picking his calls a month into her new job. The way the girl shuns him became so ridiculous.
Latest news is that the girl is in a serious marriage talks with another dude.

@ op

I feel the girl thinks you may want something more after the help. But at least, she should have waited for you to ask for such before being so cold towards you.

Forget her. She doesn't matter to you.

Whichever way, never grow weary in helping others. Nature has a way of paying back.

Seen these in films but didn't know it could be real

andyanders: Listen, try make yourself comfortable and women will look for you. Yes, you have helped her but she must have kick started relationship at her work place, naybe the boss of the place she is working.
Before helping a woman, always try to make sure that you are comfortable because most ladies tend to forget too early when you help them stand. Also understand that someone who don't like you cannot love you out of sympathy. That is to say, because you helped me, let me continue with you. Its not good. Maybe she doesnt want you but needed an assistance from you and you dont have to force yourself on her. First say what you wanted from her was more than what she want from you

My exact thought. but I ve gat no exterior motives

Monjerk: @ Op, I learnt u still planning 2 connect her 2 enter Chevron? Abeg help ur guy, I need job too,lol
Such is life, continue doing good 2 people, don't let her attitude put u off, some people are like that.

if I get Chevron connection, I go quit school my brother.

yeye4live: U neva se any ting guy, I gave my dying GF both of my kidney 2do her trasplant n wen she recoverd she left me, girls ve half brain If u dnt kno

Haaa!! your own case dey critical o

oyb: guy, sometimes a little bit of help [even if it is coaching for interview] can make a BIG difference, especially in naija where jobs are not lined up waiting for peeps.

and 100k per month is a big deal - just ask the grads in my neighbourhood who have been sitting at home for over 2 years. not everyone can get oil company job straight up

She Served last year batch B, She no even fine work at all.
Am not crucifying her, just that I think its not fair at all.

caesaraba: I don't think the O.P is talking about indebtedness or being paid back. You help your friend get a job, and he/she stops relating with you just like that? That's not how friendship works.

Anyway, thank your God because her true self has just been revealed.

P.s: To those who think one can't be friends with the opposite sex without expecting some form of sexual relationship to exist, my advice is that you should work on your social skills. Not everything is about pant, bra and bed.

The point I was tryin to bring out the other time was that; "my not making advances to her might also be a factor". I once had a friend like that, because I no ask her out she had to come out straight & say she can't be in such kind of friendship anymore.

oyb: also, op is a student. as a 'bigger girl' she can't be seen fraternizing with small boys on legedez benz , not when she is probably being toasted by bachelors with toyota camrys [ i hate all those bachelors in my office with free money to buy correct motoi etc ] - just sayin' - no offense intended

you may become even bigger when you get a job. na so cookie dey crumble

Lolz. No be every student dey use legedez benz naa

avalontony: after jesus healed ten lepers, only one kept in touch.........bro u have helped her and she does not want to keep in touch any longer......dont worry heaven will keep in touch with u and God will meet u at d point of ur needs....... JUST LET HER BE!!!!!!!!

Sure!

igbsam: most of you don't read through all posts and replies and would end up repeating the same thing over and over again even after the op has replied. The OP said he wasn't expecting any returns or gesture in honour of the favour he did to her. Why una dey lazy to read like this. Why say the same thing again after the OP don reply. Una sabi provoke person here sha! Anyway OP, like others have said....move on, let her be. Inshort no call her again, bone her the same way she boned you.

thanks. am tryin a straight face.
I just dey imagine say "if to say I no help her get the job, we for still be correct paddy o"

pro01: Meanwhile,forget the ishh about not expecting your 'gesture' to be reciprocated. I'm sure you have many relatives and male friends/acquaintances that are also looking for a job. Even if you're Papa Charity, I'm sure others deserve that act of 'altruism' more than the fair lady. Let's not kid ourselves jare.

yes. u r right!

Ibime: First off, N100k per month is a miniscule amount of money and no reason for anyone to bone anyone.

Second of all you might be overstating the role you played in getting her the job. Anything short of recommending her to the employer is no cause to paint a picture like you gave her a job. Whether you alerted her to the vacancy, helped her do her CV or coached her for interview, it does not mean she is indebted to you forever.

Yea. sure! she deserves the job. She wrote a test & went for interview.

homosapien: @OP. For u not be dis-appointed in life, cultivate d habit of doing good deed witout expectin anythin in return. One day it will surely pay

Thank You Sir

pro01: The painful thing is that whatever it is that she ought to have given you in 'appreciation' for getting that job, she would willfully give to another man (or men) on a platter of gold to RETAIN the job or gain promotions. FACT. That's why most of them deserve no mercy. It's a waste of time and goodwill to help them (unless they are already giving you 'appreciation' in advance).

It's much better to help your fellow men; they are most likely to return the favour in the long run. Women no be am.

Hmmmm. comprehended

slim fit :
[email][/email]maybe you are pestering her move on God will reward you if you did try to help without expecting somethin back like sex.

Se.x is outta it

Afam4eva: I think we have to learn how to help people without expecting our gesture to be reciprocated.

Why ain't you guys getting this straight?

I wasn't Expecting My Gesture To Be Reciprocated Sir!

Kelvinprinzyy: i prefer helping a guy like me dan a gurl,bt most times we fall in to dat feminine voice nd physique

Maybe I was wrong by first thinking about her name In the first place, because I had other guys that would ve craved for that post.
Anyway, I ve no regrets. I ve been helped, disappointed by pple before so its not really new. I just gave this scenario a thought & opted knowing people's opinion. Thanks

ypzilanti: From your post, I gather that you are young. Well listen very carefully to what I am going to tell you:

PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS DISAPPOINT YOU.

Get used to it. It is human nature.

I'm surprised that no one commenting has even deciphered the real reason behind this wahala.

The op helped a lady he had hidden affections for to get a job. The lady knows that he wants a little more and hence she is avoiding him. In her warped reasoning, she thinks she owes the guy and is avoiding an uncomfortable situation.

But my dear OP...seriously, you do not need ungrateful people in your circle of friends. Not saying she should have jumped into bed with you because you got her a job, but she should at least respect the fact that you made an impact in her life. What am I saying...maybe na you begin pester her life. Story dey sweet from the mouth of the teller.

"hidden affections"

Seriously speaking, I don't ve hidden affections; I just had that opportunity (slot) & I keyed her In.

What is your definition of "Young" Sir?

sixteen08: People change,people grow apart....deal with it,d best u can do 4 ursef is 2 let go n focus on d tins dat matter most in your life

Okay Sir