₦airaland Forum

Nice to read all that's been said about marriage.

But I learnt a long time ago, that there are different strokes for different folks.

Don't think I'll ever get married, but to those who are in it & are enjoying it, have fun!

[quote author=fresh-B link=topic=23527.msg717195#msg717195 date=1164241056]the truth is that most church goers pretend to to be Christians. they carry the practice along. thas y many of you hav always referred to Christians as also doin it, NO Christian "mentions" osu. because osu is dead. and of course has already been buried.[/quote]It is so easy to say in cyberspace that the 'osu' thing has been buried, but the truth is that the practice still thrives in several communities in Anambra, Imo & Enugu state as we speak. It does not exist among the Delta-Igbo groups or among the Igbo communities in Rivers state, or the Niger-Delta.

A female friend of mine dated a guy for 4 good years, before the chap finally proposed marriage to her. When the guy notified his family of his plans to marry this lady, his family kicked against it. Reason? She came from a family of osu people. The lady was already pregnant. This happened in 2005, not in the dark ages.

There are laws banning the practice on paper, but they have not been etched into men's hearts. The truth is that mere rhetoric will not change things. If it doesn't happen in your own part of Alaigbo, then count yourself lucky. Denying its' existence, or playing the ostrich by claiming it does not happen in your own part of Igbo land, is NOT going to make it fade away from other parts of the East, where it thrives.

The kind of tactics used to abolish the killing of twins and other harmful practices in the East, need to be deployed against this practice. Just think, anyone who today enjoys the priviledge of being a diala, could so easily have ended up being an osu. It simply takes an accident of birth.

Until everyone is ready to take the bulls by the horn & enforce the laws banning the practice of osu & its' attendant discrimination, even if it would entail some measure of discomfort, then it would be unfair to use the cyberspace as a sounding-board.

Like someone once said (was it the late Rev. Martin Luther King?) "Injustice anywhere, is a threat to justice everywhere."

Radiant:
How else will I free my mind when what I've said is hard for you to swallow?

Tsk, tsk, why are you asking someone else to swallow a prejudiced, generalised view?

Radiant:
I said[b]Most[/b] of these women stay in Nigeria for the sake of their kids. Yes!

Hmmn, thank goodness. , In another previous post dated 25th of October, you had asked: "Did I say they only stay 'cause of the kids?

You only chose to emphasize on these two huh?"

All I did, was to point out the fact that you had indeed made those statements in a previous post, which you were now turning round to deny, in a latter post. The contradiction was merely highlighted.

Secondly, most couples stay married for a variety of reasons. The decision to stay or leave a marriage is the sole preserve of those involved in such marriages. Whether they stay for the sake of their kids or leave despite the presence of such kids, remains their prerogative. No one can say categorically, that the kids are the sole reason, for their decision to stay behind. There are different strokes, for diffferent folks.

Radiant:
Some of them have good marriages and the rest can't afford to help the bad situations and have no choice than stay back, kids or no kids.

Still don't get it

Oh[i], pity, [/i]you should have put this across clearly much earlier, instead of making wide-sweeping statements like '70 per cent of those marriages are dead', in your previous posts. Now that you have used the word "some," it helps the reader to put the issue in proper perspective. There is no point in using misleading statistics, which are not backed by research, to get subjective points across.

Radiant:
Laudate, what's your point?

Did I condemn all the marriages?

Did I say they only stay 'cause of the kids?

You only chose to emphasize on these two huh?

You said in one of your posts that "if these women can make their marriages work, then why can't Nigerian women married to Nigerian men make their own work"? Correct! And that's where I came in to say that only 'bout 20-30% of the marriges work out.

Now what the fuss What's your annoyance or objection?

There is no-one fussing over anything, anywhere. And last time I checked, there was no reason for annoyance of any kind.

Or is there a problem?

You did write in a previous post, that most of those expatriate women stay in their marriages to Naija men, because of their kids. Please go back to your post no. 198 made on October 20, 2006, where you stated that " Most of these women are in Nigeria because of their kids not even because of the man.Those of them who are still in Nigeria are not happy but because they've found themselves in circumstances they can't help or don't have courage to speak up to avoid physical abuse, they decide to remain a slave for the sake of the kids." Do you recall this statement? Good.

I merely chose to point out the fact, that I do not agree with this assertion. And I gave reasons, why. It is wide-sweeping & too generalised.

So am not sure why you have chosen to keep asking the question , "what's your point?"

At the risk of repeating myself, I must reiterate the fact, that the points have been made. Simply free your mind.

Radiant:
Laudate, why did it take you a fortune to reply?

Neway, when you have point, then we can talk. For now, goodbye!

Read my previous post, again. The points are there in black & white.

So, please kindly free your mind.