₦airaland Forum

Radiant, an unfaithful man is an unfaithful man, it doesn't matter if he is married to a foreigner or a Nigerian. Unlike you, who has seen only unhappily married Naija-expatriate couples, I have seen several happily married Naija-expatriate couples.

And I do not know why you have chosen to condemn all Naija-expatriate couples as unhappy, (just because you listened to some Niger wives complaint), or just because a few unhappy expatriate wives chose to air their feelings, in a private gathering. I do not thrive on hearsay or gossip, I state what I know & what I have seen.

Many Naija women are married to Naija men who are philanderers. Yet, very few of them leave their men, because of this habit. Others are married to Naija men who stomp on them. The Naija women complain, moan and gossip about their husband's bad habits all the time. Yet, many of these Naija women, stay in such marriages. Who uses a barometer to help them check if their marriages are working or not? Who decides for them, whether to leave or stay? 

Yet, if a foreign woman is married to a Naija man who is a philanderer, someone up here concludes that such marriage is a bad one, and that the number of years they have spent together, counts for nothing. If there wasn't something that foreign woman was enjoying in her marriage, she would have left, kids or no kids.

Interestingly, the kids of many of these Naija-expatriate couples whose marriages have lasted for such a long time, are all grown-up. Yet, these foreign women are still with their husbands in Naija, why? Is it out of a sense of masochism? I think not. Human endurance has a limit. They would have left, if there was nothing left of their marriages. It is sad to see such pessimism in print, with figures such as '70% of such marriages are unhappy' in your own words, with little truth left to back it up.

Take Sheila Solarin, the wife of the late Tai Solarin for instance. Was her husband a philanderer, too? Did he stomp on her, too?

It doesn't matter if it is a Naija-expatriate marriage, or a Naija-Naija marriage. All marriages have their own problems. And it is how you solve those problems, that counts.

This debate is so interesting. But non-Igbo people have observed the following:

1). An Asaba or Anioma person is far more likely to marry from anywhere, within or outside Alaigbo. Didn't Maryam Babangida from Asaba marry from Niger State, when she decided to say "I do" to Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida? And isn't the current Obi of Asaba Prof. Chike Edozien, married to Modupe, a Yoruba woman from the South-west? They have been together for over 50 years, oh!

2). An Anambra man is highly unlikely to marry from anywhere except from his own state, especially if he is the first son. They can date girls from other places, but when it comes to marriage, mba, he will head homewards. This is usually after claiming that his father said 'this,' or his mum said 'that.'

3). An Abia man is also quite disposed to marrying within and outside his ethnic group.

4). A Rivers-Igbo man (i.e. Ikwerre, Ndoni, Etche etc), will definitely marry outside his clan, whenever he can. They are quite sociable and broad-minded.

In conclusion anyway, I guess an Igbo person who will not marry from the next state, is highly unlikely to marry from a different tribe!!

Radiant:
I didn't do any census. I just gave a rough estimate. If you know the Niger wives, you'll never advice any foreigner to marry Nigerian men.
Half of the marriages are broken and majority of those still "together" are better off broken. Though a few of them are still okay.

_{I hope this doesn't cause more arguements and the rest of the 'ish}

Hmmn, some of these generalisations are just too way off the mark. You claim that "If you know the Niger wives, you'll never advice any foreigner to marry Nigerian men". Please be a bit more specific. This is just a wide, sweeping statement. Did the Niger wives make these claims? Several mixed Nigerian-expatriate marriages exist and just like any other Naija-to-Naija  marriages, they too have their ups and downs. Naija-to-Naija marriages break up as well, so what ?? Is that so strange? So why should the break-up of a Nigerian-expatriate couple now be an issue? Quite a number of these marriages have lasted. The late Tai Solarin was married to a British woman named Sheila, for over 30 years. They lived in Nigeria until he died. The lady is still in Naija, and quite frankly they had one of the best marriages that I know.

Let me give a few examples of other such marriages:

Professor Donatus Nwoga, erudite scholar and writer taught English for many years at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. His Caucasian wife lived with him on campus and showered her husband with support and affection as he climbed the career ladder. Though she is not a Nigerian, she ensured that her children were well schooled in the Igbo culture and language. They were married for many years, until they were separated by death.

Peter Olisaeloka Okocha has an African-American wife, Michelle. Peter, who sits atop Chrismatel Holdings and Sadiq Petroleum, got married to Michelle an American nurse over 17 years ago, and she has been a tower of support in his quest for entrepreneurial excellence. With her watchful eyes and quiet guidance, Peter Eloka Okocha has established more than eight companies, which deal in products ranging from oil to pharmaceuticals. He is the largest majority shareholder in African Petroleum Plc. Their birthdays fall on the same date & they both live in Ikoyi, Lagos.

Professor Aliu Babatunde Fafunwa the former Minister of Education in Nigeria also has an American wife named Doris, and they have been together form more than 34 years. Their daughter Sheri, is a Fulbright scholar married to Okey Ndibe, an accomplished writer from the east.

Chief Benedict Mba, an Onitsha high chief got married over 30 years ago, but he did not pick a wife from the East. Neither did he go to the West. Instead, he chose to marry a white Australian, Prof. Nina Mba. She was so fascinated by the Igbo culture that she wrote her Ph.D dissertation on the contemporary Igbo woman in the twentieth century. Sadly, the lady passed away a few years back, after living in Nigeria for more than thirty years. Photographs used for her funeral programme showed her adorned in the full regalia of an Igbo female chief, complete with the huge ivory bangles and beads, identical to those worn by titled women in the Otu Odu society. She is still sorely missed by her children especially Nnenna her daughter, who graduated from University of Lagos Medical College in Idi-Araba, a few years back

Senator Martin Agbaso an Igbo chief from Imo state is the former Special Adviser to the President on Ecology Matters. He is married to an African-American woman named Robin, and they both live in an expansive house in Owerri. They have been married for over fifteen years.

Prof. Paul Okonkwo who is the Head of the Pharmocology & Therapeutics Department, of the University of Nigeria Teaching Hospital, Enugu has been married to his American wife who teaches General African Studies at the same university, for more than 35 years. Their third daughter, is the astute Harvard-trained graduate named Ndidi Okonkwo Nwuneli who runs a non-governmental organization known as LEAP which stands for Leadership Effectiveness, Accountability and Professionalism. Like all her four siblings, she was born in Enugu in South-eastern Nigeria.

Another distinguished Igbo son who married outside the shores of Nigeria is Dr. Emmanuel Umez-Eronini, the traditional ruler of Awo-Mbieri community in Imo State. In 1969, he married a Welsh woman, Elspeth Anne Jones, a medical doctor born in Camarthen, Dyfed, UK. The couple came down to Nigeria in 1970 after the Biafran war. On arrival, they set up the Umezuruike hospital in Owerri, to offer medical services to the populace. Dr. Elspeth Umez-Eronini was quite popular within the local community. She spent over 20 years in Owerri before relocating to the UK. During her stay in Nigeria, she learnt Igbo and was conferred with the traditional title ‘Lolo’. She passed away in Cardiff on 28 November 2001. Elspeth Anne Umez-Eronini has been described as an unrivalled mother, sister, daughter and wife, who was known & loved by many.

Quite frankly, if a lot of these expatriate women are still in their marriages to Nigerian men, no-one has the right to speak for them or to claim that majority of those still "together" are better off broken. Those who are in such marriages, know why they are still in it. And if it wasn't working for them, they would have opted out a long time ago.

True love knows no barrier.

ronkebaby:
This yet proves the essence of seeking advise before choosing marriage partners. Most of our so called parents are experienced, having been through one of two of such experiences themselves and want to help us not to make such mistakes they made. They also observe things better than us. I tell you the developed countries of the world have the highest divorce rates in comparison to ours. And these are people that often act independly of their parents i.e. making their own choices. How come their marriages don't last?

Um, [/i]is it in all cases where people choose their own spouses that their marriages break up? Yes, I agree, our parents are experienced in most cases. But they are also[i] human and liable to make subjective statements. I have seen parents disuade their children from marrying from a particular area, simply because[i] the person does Not speak their language, [/i] or simply because "they heard that people from that area behave in a particular way". What is the name for this kind of mentality? Prejudice. Pure & simple. In many cases, they have not had any close up interaction with the person their son/daughter is dating or wants to marry; they know little or nothing about the person's personality & even far less about that person's character. Yet, they don't want that relationship, simply because their son/daughter's suitor is from a different district.

ronkebaby:
This trend is getting into our system because we tend to naturally copy anything stamped 'made abroad'. I say it from the experience of a married lady that I am, most ladies that seek opinion in the choice of their married partners tend to be more successful in marriage.

Oh dear, what kind of 'opinions' are prospective brides supposed to be seeking? We need to be careful of where we draw counsel from. Some biased people have been known to mislead others with their counsel. What women need to do is open their eyes, ears and study their men properly, before they commit to such guys.

Usually when a relationship or a marriage breaks up, a lot of women confess that they saw the signs early on during courtship that the guy had some traits they were uncomfortable with, but they went ahead in the hope that they could change the guy after marriage.

Some parents have their own preferences for a certain type of person, that they would like their kids to get married to, while ignoring the feelings of their kids or forgetting that these are different times and this is a different generation.

Marriage lasted in the past, when parents made the choices on behalf of their kids, because many women were not finacially independent or were at an educational disadvantage.



]

Radiant:
About Nigerwives, I can tell you that only 20-30% of their marriages still stand today. The rest are history.

Quite frankly, I would like to know how you arrived at the 20-30% figure. Did you conduct a demographic survey, or a census of the number of marriages contracted between Nigerians and foreigners, in order to arrive at this figure?

The truth is, yes, some of those marriages did not work out, while others did. But am not sure that the percentage of those that worked out is as little as 20 to 30%, like you claim.

Marriages break up all the time, even among people from the same village, district, clan or tribe. Do people believe, that inter-tribal or inter-cultural differences are so strong, that they cannot be surmounted and the couple involved cannot go ahead to have happy marriages, despite their differences?

I feel that while some people are busy relishing their inter-tribal differences and using their diversity to form bonds of strength, others are too busy seeing their inter-tribal differences as a source of potential conflict. And because they are too weak to confront, address and conquer these differences, they shy away from such relationships, and run around preaching the gospel of "marry within your clan."

Here is more information on the topic:

http://www.naijamall.com/newsdatabase_template_page.asp?cmd=articledetail&articleid=57

This Osu caste thing cannot be legislated out of existence. It is only through enlightenment and active efforts to eradicate it, that it will be discarded.

Can't remember the governor that passed a law saying that the Osu concept was illegal in his state. This was in the seventies. His people said:" Fine. No problem. Now prove the efficacy of this law, by allowing your daughter to marry an Osu."

The governor could not. And that ended the matter. The Osu concept is still thriving in his district as we speak.

Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa, Kalabari, Efik, Ijaw, Ibibio, Tiv, Junkun, Birom, Edo, Urhobo etc. Who cares? The truth is that the good, the bad and the ugly exist in every tribe. People often try to make it seem as if their own tribe consists of saints, while the next tribe is made up of sinners.  Puh-leeze!!

Like I stated before, I have seen people marry from the same tribe and their marriages broke up in a short while, and vice versa. I have also seen people from different tribes getting married and those marriages stood the test of time, and vice versa. What am I saying? There is no proof that marrying from your tribe would guarantee longevity of your union. And there is no proof that marrying from outside your tribe would work against you. All marriages need work. Hard work. Marriages fail because partners have stopped communicating or loving each other. Period. If they still communicated or loved each other, they would take the time and effort to work through their differences, whether they are marital, physical or financial. Please browse the internet to read about expatriate women who married Nigerians, left their countries and followed their partners to set up a home here in Naija and have been here for many years. Some of these women belong to an association known as Nigerwives. So if some of these foreigners can marry Naija men or women and make those marriages work, why can't Naija men and women from different tribes, hook up, get married and make their marriages work??

Most parents that oppose inter-tribal marriages do so out of fear and ignorance. A lot of stereotypes have been bandied around and they have swallowed a lot of those stereotypes, believing them to be true.

The Igbo guy who wants to marry a Yoruba girl who is abroad, just needs to get close to her family especially the mum. He should pay her visits, as often as he can. He must try to show the mum absolute deference and respect. He should also try to take care of her daughter (i.e. the girl he wants to marry) so that people can see his loving, caring gestures and cite them in his favour. Over a period of time, as her mother gets used to his respectful, decent manners, she will change her opinion. Some mothers object to their daughters prospective suitors or fiances because, they are afraid of losing their daughters. A proverb says that[i] "you do not give up anything that is valuable to you, easily." [/i]

Finally, most Yoruba parents object when their kids initially bring home their prospective partners, because that person is a stranger to them. but the truth is, that while they are objecting, they are busy conducting background checks in to the prospective partner's background and lineage. They want to know what the family stands for, what kind of values they uphold, if that person has been married before and is hiding this fact from them, or if the person's family has a history of madness, sickness, evil habits or witchcraft. Don't laugh! 

I know it sounds funny. But it is a tradition that most south-western families (except maybe, some Lagos-based families) still believe strongly in. After those checks are conducted, and they are satisfied with the outcome, then they usually give their consent. Sometimes when the parental consent is delayed, the intending couple can talk to some elders who are well-known to their parents to intervene and convince their parents to give the much-needed approval. There is a proverb that says: "What an elder can see sitting down, a young person may not see it, even if he stands up."

Most parents believe that when you get married, you are not just marrying your spouse alone, you are marrying into the whole family. I guess that's why the Yoruba traditional engagement ceremony is called the idana

mamaput:
Babyosisi i too will not waht my kids to marry any one less educated that them.
The Parents can for see problems comming up that he cannot.
If he makes it in life, he will be attending cocktail parties etc etc.
Some one will have to do the homework with the children, meet the teacher etc etc.
Its different if she dose not work ,but people ill be asking her what she dose , did.

This issue of marrying a graduate or a non-graduate, is neither here nor there. The most important questions are:
- Does the guy love the girl enough to accept her the way she is, with or without a first degree?
-Are they spiritually & physically compatible?
-Do they share similar views or outlook on life?
-Do they feel comfortable in each other's company etc.
-How do they handle or resolve money matters?

There is a long list of other issues that need to be properly addressed & thrashed out.

Seeing the four walls of a university or having a university certificate, is not a do-or-die affair. The guy can always send her to university later, if she wants to improve on her educational qualifications. Many married couples in the sixties, did this. A lot of men married wives who were less educationally endowed than they were, and proceeded to brush up those women, by either sending them to university or vocational schools, at home and abroad. A lot of those women turned out so well, that you could not believe they had NOT been to a finishing school.

I know some so-called graduates who attended university and lack articulate oral and written skills in English. I also know a few women who attended just secretarial schools and yet, they would beat some of these graduates in a spelling contest.

I had a relative whose wife was a confidential secretary for many years, before she later went to university in the tenth year of their marriage. Before she entered the university, she helped a lot of us young people with our homework. And we excelled. Thanks to her tutelage.

BlackMamba:
Status and class affinity usually neutralize any pressure that race/ethnicity may bring to a relationship. Love alone, often cannot withstand this pressure, especially in Naija.

Oh, I agree! Love alone cannot withstand any pressure in marriage. And it doesn't matter if the couple are from the same ethnic background or if they grew up living on the same street. Tolerance, understanding, open communication, frank and full disclosure as well as patience, compassion, respect etc. are vital. It doesn't matter if the couple comes from the same district or if they are from different continents. Both parties need to have the same mind, for their relationship to work.

If these things are absent, status and/or class will NOT hold the marriage together. Haven't you heard of couples from the same background or status, going through a divorce?

enugu:
@Nostrings

Inter-tribal marriage is not as straight forward as it seems. Having said that, I'm not trying to discourage you but to get you to look deep into your heart. Are you at peace with marrying this guy? Look at yourselves in the next 5, 10 15 years (God willing) can you honestly say that this is the guy you would want to spend the rest of your life with??

You see whether we like it or not, marriage comes with its own 'issues' so does inter-tribal marriage so you have to be absolutely sure that he is what you want.

Secondly, learn all about him and his tribe and how you can fit yourself in; don't take anything for granted. Love is not enough! It needs trust, patience, committment, etc to help it blossom. All that 'this is the 21st century and not our parent's times blah, blah, blah is alright until you hit the hard times and then yawa will begin gas

Always be totally honest with yourself, even if you can't be with anybody else. Strip everything down to its barest minimum: at the end of the day, if you can stand and proudly say 'this is the man I want for the rest of my life, the father of my children, the love of my life, then you will be able to work towards making your different tribes a plus rather than a minus.

There might be a lot of opposition but true love conquers in the end. Remember, his family, your family are not your enemy; they are just fighting albeit, misguidedly (or not) for their loved one so they might prove difficult. Have God on your side and if this man is His will for you, you will prevail.

God loves you. Cheers

_{she speaks from experience}

@Nostrings, your parents love you but please try to remember that they are from a different generation and were raised in a different time, as such they are likely to have a different perspective about inter-tribal relationships and/or marriages.

@Enugu, your comments are quite valid, but the truth is that love knows no boundaries, respects no colour and is quite often disinterested in reason. Most people especially older folks tend to shy away from things that they do not understand or are unfamiliar with. People from other tribes represent an unknown entity to them, so this is likely to breed distrust in their minds. Because they are not familiar with the unknown, they take refuge in using stereotypes to categorize that unknown entity or person, in a bid to profile the person and understand  him or her.

Every marriage has its own problems, some more than others. I have seen Nigerians marry foreigners, bring them back home and have a wonderful marriage. I have also seen the reverse happening. I have seen Nigerians marry people from other ethnic groups and those marriages turn out to be a beautiful, never-ending love story. I have also seen the opposite happening. The truth is that there are no hard and fast rules. There are different strokes for different folks.

I met a couple once who came from the same village. Their families lived streets apart from each other. Yet, that marriage lasted for less than five years. It was a nightmare from beginning to the end. A few years later, the man married a foreigner and till date, he has been married to his expatriate wife for fifteen blissful years! They both live in Lagos.

Let me share some examples of successful inter-tribal marriages that I have seen:

Take the case of retired Commodore Ebitu Ukiwe, a high-ranking title holder from Abia State whose lovely wife Amina is still radiant after twenty-five years of marriage to the Abiriba born chief. Amina Ukiwe is a half-Lebanese, Northern  woman whose father is a medical doctor from the North.  The fact that his wife is non-Igbo, has not stopped Ukiwe from taking an active interest in issues that affect his people. Currently, he is a top shot in Ohanaeze Ndi’Igbo, the apex Igbo socio-political group.

Chief Mrs. Oluremi Adiukwu-Bakare, the Lagos State Commissioner who handles local government affairs, is one person who can attest to the fact, that marriage to an Igbo man is a rewarding experience. Her marriage to the late Major Adiukwu from Imo state lasted for over twenty years, until the fine gentleman passed away a few years back. While he was alive, he supported her quest for public office and groomed her in business. Their marriage was blessed with children including a set of twins. One of their daughters Taiwo, had a beautiful wedding in Lagos a few years back and the entire Igbo community in Ikeja, turned out en masse to support her. It took a while for Oluremi Adiukwu to come to terms with his death. It was just a few years ago that she decided to re-marry again, when she agreed to become the wife of Chief S.B Bakare of Oluwalogbon Motors.

Professor Vincent Chukwuemeka Ike the former head of the West African Examinations Council (WAEC), is another person who broke the mould to pick a wife from the South-West over forty years ago, when he decided to marry Professor Adebimpe Ike nee Abimbolu, a Yoruba lady from Ijebu land. Today, the highly respected writer, who has watched his wife reach the pinnacle of her career, is a fulfilled man.

Another example of a couple who shared marital bliss until they were separated by death are the Anyaegbunams. The late Justice Frederick Anyaegbunam an Onitsha man, married elegant Joyce Petgrave, a Yoruba lady born in Abeokuta, to Carribean parents. They were married for over 40 years. During his lifetime, her husband Justice Anyaegbunam took the prestigious Ozo title.  So did two of their sons. This was in the eighties. Lady Joyce Anyaegbunam was also conferred with the title of Nwaebuona. Her third son Izuchukwu, followed the footsteps of his father when he decided to take a Yoruba girl as a wife. He picked Adetutu Adetona, the daughter of highly respected monarch Oba Sikiru Adetona of Ijebuland as his wife more than ten years ago. Both of them are medical doctors, and they currently have 3 children.

Chief Mrs. Sola Onyekwele is a Yoruba woman, who has nothing but high praise for Igbo men. Her husband Brig-General Philip Onyekwele from Asaba, is an Igbo man who has taken care of her, for more than 30 years. She recalls that when they first met, inter-ethic marriages were unusual. “In fact, in those days, marriages between Ife and Modakeke which shared a common boundary were not common, so how could you say you wanted to even cross over to marry from the East?,” she said in an earlier interview. On the day she introduced her suitor to her father, the old man frowned and brought out his dane gun ready to shoot the young chap. But Philip Onyekwele persisted and finally got permission to marry his heart throb. The rest as they say, is history. They gave out one of their daughters in marriage early this year, at an elaborate wedding ceremony in Lagos.

Chief Philip Asiodu former permanent secretary, is another Igbo man who defied traditional convention, to marry from the South West. He got hooked to Jumoke Perreira a Lagosian woman, in the mid-sixties. A truly detribalized man, he was born more than seventy years ago in Calabar to the late Chibuzor Asiodu. He started his career in the Federal Civil Service after graduating with a degree in Politics, Philosophy and Economics from a London university. He has represented Nigeria at the highest levels both locally and internationally. Chief Asiodu was once named the Secretary of State (i.e. Minister) of Petroleum in the eighties. He holds the traditional title of Izoma Onyia of Asaba, and is a member of the high-ranking traditional cabinet known as the Olinzele in Asaba. His marriage to Jumoke is blessed with children and has lasted for over 41 years.

Chief Benedict Mba, an Igbo high chief from Onitsha, got married over 30 years ago, but he did not pick a wife from the East. Neither did he go to the West. Instead, he chose to marry a white Australian, Prof. Nina Mba. She was so fascinated by the Igbo culture that she wrote her Ph.D dissertation on the contemporary Igbo woman in the twentieth century. Sadly, the lady passed away a few years back, after living in Nigeria for more than thirty years. Photographs used for her funeral programme showed her adorned in the full regalia of an Igbo female chief, complete with the huge ivory bangles and beads, identical to those in the Otu Odu society. She is still sorely missed by her children especially Nnenna her daughter, who graduated from University of Lagos Medical College in Idi-Araba a few years back. Nnenna got married to a Yoruba man, not too long ago.

Another distinguished Igbo son who married outside the shores of Nigeria is Dr. Emmanuel Umez-Eronini, the traditional ruler of Awo-Mbieri community in Imo State. In 1969, he married a Welsh woman, Elspeth Anne Jones, a medical doctor born in Camarthen, Dyfed, UK. The couple came down to Nigeria in 1970 after the Biafran war. On arrival, they set up the Umezuruike hospital in Owerri, to offer medical services to the populace. Dr. Elspeth Umez-Eronini was quite popular within the local community. She spent over 20 years in Owerri before relocating to the UK. During her stay in Nigeria, she learnt Igbo and was conferred with the traditional title ‘Lolo’. She passed away in Cardiff on 28 November 2001. Elspeth Anne Umez-Eronini has been described as an unrivalled mother, sister, daughter and wife, who was known & loved by many.

Dr. Walter Ofonagoro is one Igbo man who does not like talking about how he met his Indian wife Stephanie, but the vivacious lady likes to tell people that three decades of marriage has not diminished her love for her husband. Their marriage is one that has defied stereotypes. It is said that Indians hardly marry outside their cultural boundaries, but Indian born Stephanie Ofonagoro chose to discard such ideas, when she exchanged wedding vows with the former Information Minister many years ago. In 2005, they had the privilege of watching their first daughter Adaeze walk down the aisle with her beau Babatunde Williams. Nobody can tell yet, if any of their sons will follow their father’s footsteps by picking a non-Nigerian wife.

A former Information Minister, who is well liked by many people, got married in a way that shows that love knows no boundaries. Nnanyelugo Chukwuemeka Chikelu from Anambra state, married the daughter of retired Brigadier-General Hananiya from Adamawa, in a wedding that drew the crème de la crème of the society. The only son of Owelle Gilbert Chikelu has been happily married to his Adamawa wife for almost five years. He keeps his personal life out of public glare, but there is no doubt that he has lot of affection for his wife.

When another illustrious Igbo son passed away recently, a marriage that had spanned more than 45 years ended in one fell stroke. The late Dominic Azubuike Okwuraiwe met and married a Yoruba lady called Ayodele Mamah in 1958. They were together until early 2005, when he passed on. The polished gentleman had interests in shipping and haulage. He even set up a transport company known as Mgbeojikwe Limited, which he named after his late mother.

A former Supreme Court Judge from Agbani in Enugu State, also defied the norm when he married a non-Igbo woman many years ago. Late Justice Augustine Nnamani, an erudite scholar who died while serving on the bench, married a Carribean woman who had five kids for him. Their marriage lasted for almost thirty years before he departed to glory. One of his daughters is the popular film producer and actress Nwaekego Nnamani who is known as Ego Boyo. She got married in 1997 to Omamofe Boyo, an Itsekiri guy who is one of the influential directors of Oando, a leading oil company in Nigeria. Mofe’s mother Justice Constance Momoh is the former Chief Judge of Edo State.

Kingsley Onyeoziri from Imo State recalls that he met stiff resistance from his wife’s father, when he went to ask for her hand in marriage. The old man could not believe that any young man from the East could take care of his daughter properly. But he was wrong. Today Kingsley and his wife Dorcas who comes from Ososa in Ogun State, have been happily married for 17 years. They are blessed with five wonderful boys.

Barrister Chudi Nwokorie is a forthright Igbo man who went to a royal family in the South West to pick a wife. His spouse Abisola Nwokorie is also a lawyer and she is the daughter of Oba Andu, a respected monarch in Ondo State. The lady is not only active at the bar, she is also well known for her strong religious work at Guiding Light Assembly Church, which she attends in Ikoyi. They have been together for over 15 years.

Obi Ekwueme a chartered accountant and the first son of the former Vice-President of Nigeria Chief Alex Ifeanyichukwu Ekwueme, got married almost eight years ago to Abimbola, a Yoruba lady, he met while working in church. When he first proposed to her, she expressed some fear about how their families would react, based on their tribal differences. Obi calmed her fears by telling her that if their union was of God, their relationship would stand. They prayed about it and asked God to take control. When their parents were later notified of their intention to get married, they took the news without making much fuss. The few pockets of resistance they encountered came from extended family members, but it was quickly quelled by divine intervention. Today, their marriage is an inspiration for many people.