Anonymouus: Please, I Need Genuine Advice. Kindly Read My Story.
I would like to remain anonymous because this is one of the most painful seasons of my life. I’m not here to seek pity or to make anyone look bad. I only want honest advice from people who have experienced life. Please read with an open mind.
I met a wonderful lady some time ago. We became friends, fell in love, and eventually started planning our future together. We both agreed to get married.
For context, I’m a businessman. My income is not fixed, but I earn between 300,000 and 400,000 monthly, and I live comfortably. I knew I wasn’t rich, so from the beginning I suggested that we should have a modest wedding. However, she wanted something bigger and more elaborate.
This is where I made the biggest mistake of my life.
Wanting to make her happy, I lied. I told her I had everything sorted out financially, even though I didn’t. The wedding budget was close to 2 million, and I convinced her I had it covered.
Two weeks before the wedding, reality hit me. Every financial plan I had failed. I couldn’t raise the money.
I gathered the courage to tell her the truth.
I told her, I’m sorry. I lied. I don’t have the money I claimed I had. Everything has fallen apart. If you no longer want to continue with this marriage, I will understand.
She cried. I cried too.
After everything, she told me we should still go ahead with the wedding and trust God. She encouraged me not to give up.
To make the wedding happen, she contributed financially, I also contributed everything I had, and I borrowed money from friends. We both sacrificed a lot.
Then, the unexpected happened.
The night before the wedding, she spoke to her family about her fears. According to her, she told them she had contributed about 70% of the wedding expenses and that she was worried because I hadn’t fulfilled everything n the list.
She later told me that her family used those fears against her and convinced her not to continue with the marriage because they believed I wasn’t financially stable.
That same night…
She called off the wedding.
Both families had already gathered. My family had travelled. I had personally paid for their hotel accommodation.
Imagine the embarrassment.
My parents, relatives, and loved ones had to leave without a wedding taking place. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life.
A few days later, she reached out to me.
She apologized sincerely.
She cried and admitted she had made mistakes. She said she allowed herself to be influenced by her family after opening up about her fears. She admitted she exaggerated some things and was deeply sorry for everything that happened.
There is another important part of this story…
She is pregnant with my child.
Despite everything, I decided to forgive her because I still loved her, and I wanted our child to grow up with both parents if possible.
The problem now became our families.
My family was completely against any reconciliation. They felt deeply disgraced. Some of my relatives even blocked me on WhatsApp because they couldn’t believe I still wanted to continue with her after everything that happened.
According to her, when she later spoke to her own family again, they told her that whatever decision she made was entirely hers. They were no longer interested in getting involved.
So we slowly started trying to rebuild our relationship.
Then another problem arose.
As I mentioned earlier, I borrowed money to support the wedding. I have paid back almost everyone I owed.
Only one creditor remained, and the amount I owe is less than 400,000.
Because the wedding never held and my business suffered badly afterwards, I couldn’t pay him back as quickly as I promised.
I didn’t run away from the debt.
I spoke to him honestly and explained my situation. I proposed paying him 50,000 every week until I cleared everything.
Unfortunately, he refused.
Instead, he contacted my fiancée’s family and informed them that I owed him money.
This reopened old wounds.
Her family, who had already doubted me before, became angry again after hearing this.
She called me and informed me that they had been contacted.
I explained everything to her.
I reminded her that she knows me better than anyone else. She knows I have never denied owing the money. She knows I already have a repayment plan and that I intend to pay every kobo.
The conversation ended peacefully.
Then…
The next thing I discovered was that she had blocked me everywhere.
WhatsApp.
Phone calls.
Everywhere.
She is currently staying with her family in another state while I am in a different state.
Since she blocked me, I have not tried to contact her through another number, even though I have one she doesn’t know. I have not called her. I have not sent messages through friends. I have simply respected her space.
But I won’t pretend…
This has been eating me up.
I don’t know whether I should continue waiting.
I don’t know whether I should reach out.
I don’t know whether I should move on.
I don’t know whether she’s protecting herself, under family pressure again, or whether she has truly decided she no longer wants me.
The hardest part is knowing she is carrying my child.
I know I made mistakes.
I lied about my financial capacity, and I have accepted responsibility for that. I have also worked hard to repay the debts I incurred because of the wedding.
I am not a fraud. I never borrowed money with the intention of disappearing. Life simply became much harder than I expected after the wedding collapsed.
So, I sincerely ask for your advice.
If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Should I continue waiting for her? Should I try reaching out through another number, or should I respect the fact that she blocked me? If she eventually comes back, should I still marry her after everything that has happened? And if she never comes back, how do I ensure I remain a responsible father to my unborn child?
Please be honest with me.
You can criticize me where I was wrong because I know I wasn’t perfect. But I also ask that you advise me like a brother or a sister.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
I believe it's God trying to save you but you are bent on destroying yourself!
A woman that knows how the debt came about, infact, she was the reason for the debt because if that wedding held, part of the money would have been recovered!
Someone that was meant to be a life partner, exaggerated situation that made her parents hate you and cancelled wedding on the eve of the D-day not minding the blow back effects on you and even your family! Wow!!
A million bullets dodged already!!
You acknowledged and owned your error, that is good of you.
Never, I repeat NEVER MARRY that lady. She will always make decisions based on her family inputs EVEN IF IT WILL COST YOUR LIFE!!
I know it's difficult especially if you are the type that value your offspring yet, it's safer to keep away from that family and focus more on resolving your financial set backs.
With all due respect to the man, he is emotionally and intellectually bankrupt!
A fraction of rational thinking would have allowed him explain to the colleague before that first ride ever that his wife would sit at the front.
Perhaps he's limited in knowledge of his wife, he could have addressed his colleague as well as wife after the first incident so that each knows her place rather he chose to embarrass himself thinking he was embarrassing the wife!!
That same colleague will go behind him to tell others on how he's not man enough to control his wife/home!!!
Good day great Nairalanders, A friend of mine needs your assistance in making a decision that will ultimately be altering his life hopefully for good.
He intends pursuing a second degree (Masters) in education. Pertinent to note that he is looking forward to joining the academia(Lecturing)[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]. He has Bachelor of Arts in Education (Ba.Ed) in Christian Religious Studies but has no intention of continuing with religious studies in this second degree!
THE CHALLENGE! He needs help in making a choice from a. Psychology of Education b. Education Management and planning c. Guidance and Counseling d. Curriculum Studies One of the major points of consideration is on which of the courses is more marketable across board - Uni, Poly and College of education.
Thank You so much in anticipation of your wonderful assistance.
@Mods, please help in giving this good viewership. Thanks
fineboynl: I invited this lady. She used her mother's phone to call me before coming and already 1 sent her money to her OPay.When she came, she called the mother; that she is with me.Every hour the mother keeps calling her.Until it gets late and she tells the mother she will not be coming home again.In the morning. Very early the mother called her around 5:30. After serious nacking that lasted hours. I noticed She was very strong and healthy.
This girl is a lady, not a small girl, oh.I was just asking myself if anything happened to her; what would I tell the mother or family the way the mother was calling her? Already she told her we know each other just newly . And I haven't seen the mother before.
I still remember dating one single mother. Before she drives out, leaving her house, she will first call her mother and tell her that she is going to see me.So guys, be careful. If a woman is not fit, strong, and healthy and nor put her body, e get why
Wonderful insurance package!
Might not even be the mother but well orchestrated policy to stop you from doing something stupid!!
Have warned myself never to near anything redmi device no matter how good and fanciful!
Had a Redmi 5 Plus that kept me off Whatsapp for more than 2 months!
The silly phone just out of the blues started telling me "unofficial Whatsapp" and gave me link to the so called official app which will still tell me same grammar!
Sadly I was in an environment where I could only get phones at a cut-throat price because it's an island and I was low on cash!!
As if that was not enough, my wife's phone(Redmi product too) also experienced same though her's worked with a different Sim card!!
WhiteIverson: She should have a good knowledge of Mathematics, Physics, Geography and English. And also 5 credits in her O'level including Maths, Physics and English language. A minimum age of 17 years and a valid class 1 medical certificate.
It is not studied as a course in a university
You go to a flight school and get your license.
We have various flight schools in Nigeria but I suggest you check out Nigerian College of Aviation Technology (NCAT) as it might be cheaper than private flight schools. The Standard Pilot (SP) course is 2 years and costs about 12 million. Although the training can be done in various stages at your own pace depending on your financial level.
Pilot Information! by lecturerdabo(m): 3:14pm Good day great Nairalanders, Please I'm in serious need of your assistance in making informed decisions here!
I have this young star who is desperately focused on becoming a pilot. I'm an average Nigerian struggling to make ends meet but cannot discourage this damsel from pursuing her dream, I believe God will make provisions as we progress!
What I need to know:
1. What are the courses required for one aspiring to be a pilot?
2. Is it being studied as a course without going through other courses?
3. Ideas of Nigerian institutions that offer the courses.
Good day great Nairalanders, Please I'm in serious need of your assistance in making informed decisions here!
I have this young star who is desperately focused on becoming a pilot. I'm an average Nigerian struggling to make ends meet but cannot discourage this damsel from pursuing her dream, I believe God will make provisions as we progress!
What I need to know:
1. What are the courses required for one aspiring to be a pilot?
2. Is it being studied as a course without going through other courses?
3. Ideas of Nigerian institutions that offer the courses.
meobizy: I was browsing yesterday with the last megabytes of my data. I hoped that once my bundle was exhausted (not expired), I would be able to rely on Airtel's 24 GB of free Youtube data which had accumulated over a few months. To my surprise, this did not happen. I could see whenever I keyed the prompt that I had almost 30 GB of free data to browse Youtube videos, yet both the website and app did not respond to any input I made.
Has anybody called Customer Care to find out why this is the case?
Airtel is nothing but a criminal organization!
Subscribed to 18G data meant for 30 days without even doing much or hotspoting my PC, they zapped it in a week!
Even the stupid customer care line after deducting your air time from the first second after dail, its machine and no idiot!!
I tried their Instagram, two different idiots kept at limbo for more than 4days now!!
My first car back in 2010 was Volvo 740(don't know much about the engine technicalities)
Young guy with no experience in car maintainance! Did plenty mistakes with that car yet it refused to give up on me!!
One particular incident remains fresh in my memory, drove this beast from PH to Calabar sometime in 2012 to visit wife and kids. The next morning, I came out, dipped engine oil stick and realised the oil was completely dried up!! Just went to auto mart for a 4litre oil, poured it in, started the beast and all was good. Drove it back to PH after more than a week in Cally before servicing!!!
RealLordZeus: Shey you dey whine me ni.. You get money to carry OS but no money for HIV test.. Well to your question.. Egbon Donald Trump don cancel funding for all those free kits oo so you gats to pay
Is it only through sex that people get infected with HIV?
So there's this female neighbor of mine whom I've always rendered help to countless of times...... Tho I don't like disclosing how I've helped people but I think some people don't deserve help at all.......Last time,I was rhe one who paid her kids school fees,cuz her husband was out of town and couldn't afford to send money to his family........Well,I didn't do that without the awareness of my woman cuz she was the one whom I gave the money to go and give to her....And there were times she came to me to borrow her money,ranging to up to 140k.....Tho she promised to pay back upon the arrival of her husband...But since her husband came back,I haven't heard from them and I don't even intend on confronting them cuz I knew that money was as good as gone forever.... Hence,I wasn't expecting them to pay back as well....
Now the problem is, this the same woman came to me last week , while my woman was in my shop to ask for financial help of 12k... I told her things haven't been as good as they were before as I've just opened my shop and still trying to balance things up........ Omoh,since then,this neighbor of mine and her husband started keeping malice with me and my woman......I just weak . All of a sudden, they've forgotten everything I've done for them simply because of this one time they came to me for help but couldn't help . My woman have been planning to go and meet them to ask of the money they came to borrow but I've been telling her not to.......The worst thing is that they no longer come to my shop to charge their phones and fill their gas as well..... Imagine the same people whom I've been charging their phones for free of charge . Omoh,I swear to help people these days just tire me....
But why are some people like this?
Nlfpmod Obembet Mynd44 Dominique I need answers from y'all before I will do something to this couple that will hit Nairaland Front page
Always do your kindness as a sacrifice to God rather than business transaction thus you wouldn't feel hurt when your kindness is not reciprocated or scorned!
Some people have entitlement mentality and behave as though they gave you something to keep for them. Some will even accuse you of being a ritualist - what you are giving them is why they are poor or intended to exchange their star. Nevertheless, we must not be weary in doing good!!
To those saying he ought to be happy, believe me it's not easy to move freely knowing that the finger you once fed snobs and keeps malice with you just because you could not indulge them a single time!!
Careerscholar: Thanks for waiting. As promised, here are 5 proven health benefits of Alligator Pepper, backed by science.
1. A Powerful Body Protector: Atare is loaded with antioxidants. These are molecules that fight cell damage in your body, helping to prevent diseases and aging.
2. Soothes Your Digestive System: Traditionally used for bloating and stomach ache. Studies suggest it helps your body produce the enzymes needed to digest food properly.
3. Fights Inflammation: If you suffer from aches and pains, this is important. Research in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry confirmed that Atare has strong anti-inflammatory properties.
4. Has Antimicrobial Effects: While not a substitute for prescribed antibiotics, research has shown that oil from Atare seeds can stop the growth of harmful bacteria like E. coli and Salmonella.
5. Clears a Congested Chest: The warming, peppery nature of Atare makes it excellent for clearing catarrh and phlegm, especially when combined with bitter kola or ginger.
Next up, we'll dive into the part many of our elders hold sacred: The Spiritual Work of Alligator Pepper.
Freshtruth: Nobody rush for FTC again, if U see 3 pages again a day na miracle, the ban is getting worse even wetin no reach to ban, every body is afraid to say d truth to escape ban
40 characters that thing people done tire to type cause is not a force to be talkertive
Why wouldn't it?
Even when you take out time to write comments, one silly person/bot will ban you for unknown reason. No wonder responsible people have drawn back and those visiting don't waste their time commenting on a forum where their efforts will be deleted.
I have been on this forum since 2012 and can confidently say Nairaland is now a ghost of itself!!!
Afodot0022: Happy Sunday to you nairalanders and top of the morning. There is this issue I want to let the house know so I can get advise from matured and experienced people here that have got through the same issue and how they deal with it
I have been separated or let say divorced for close to 3yrs and this had created lot of acrimony between myself and my ex wife including issues with her family. The last issue I had with her was she took my kids to her father to live there without my consent. Ever since then , she had been denying me access to my children cos the new place her parents stay is a new site which I don't have the location, I stop interfering when the issue was becoming too much for me and focus on my life cos I know at the right time things will sort itself out. This morning I got a call from a strange man and he introduced himself to me, by that, I knew the man is from my ex wife family by mentioning the location he was calling from.He told me that did I heard that my father in-law passed away few days ago, I mentioned I wasn't aware. Non of the family called me to pass the information to me neither did they call my own family to notify them. At first I find it strange getting a call from a strange man and giving me such info while it was supposed to be done my either my ex wife or her family, but I thought maybe because of the acrimony going on, they decided not to communicate with me cos ever since my ex took my kids to stay indefinitely with her father without my consent, I stop communicating with her or her family members.
Now that the man is late, I was told by the man that he wants to see me and have a meeting with me that he got my number from my ex wife. What I need to know is that, now that am divorced, do I have any responsibilities whatsoever to render to the family being that am no longer married to their daughter again. Is it a must to be present in whatsoever they want to do or present at the burial. Pls I need advice from people that have experience this before and how they handled it or people that are vast in wisdom. I don't want to be mean to ignore the family cos their daughter really disappointed and betrayed me and also her family had input on how our marriage collapsed. My kids are still with them and also I have the intention to taking custody of my kids as the grandpa they live with is dead and seems like my ex wife have remarried and can't leave my kids to strangers. I want to use this as an opportunity to get custody of my children.
Pls all your advice are welcomed and appreciated. Gracias
From your post op, I can deduce you are not officially divorced. Has the bride price been returned? If legally married, there must also be legal divorce.
If the above has not been addressed, I'm sorry to inform you that you are still married to the said lady hence may consider your role as an in-law if you wish. Also like someone suggested, you must bear in mind that you have children with the lady, you must be careful not to burn bridges.
The man that called might be thinking the death of your father in-law presents avenue for reconciliation.
My advice: Proceed with caution. Never embark on that journey alone! Never go without letting people know your movements. If possible involve security!!
Davizee: Three days ago I started noticing this strange signs which I won’t call a coincidence cause it happened more than two times followed with a strange dream. Three days ago i woke up from sore just to check the time and is saw 22:22pm. I overlooked it and the following morning, I woke up just to see 11:11am again. This time I looked at it as a normal coincidence not until it happened twice again. After the fourth time that it happened, I had a dream and in that dream I killed a very long snake. Please what does all this signs mean
I will advice you to be careful and prayerful. You are likely going to face trials sooner than expected but you will triumph!
Alex Otti's refusal to be a sycophant is the premise upon which the writer concluded Alex's inefficiency!
As much as I don't subscribe to taxing the poor market men and women, I also believe that Otti's achievements within his short time in office has surpassed 24years of PDP misrule in Abia.
Alex Otti, abeg pay pensioners their entitlements!! If na you, you no go like am. They are humans like you!!!
ediko5: A lady created a scene some weeks ago at a place known as Solution city in Akwa when she publicly proposed to his 'far younger' and the young man rejected her proposal citing age difference and also the fact that it's unethical for a lady to publicly propose to a man in his culture.
According to the lady, she's been dating the boy for 7 years.
They both shared their separate side of the story to Luck Udu experience.
Don't know your unspoken/unwritten motive but going by what is said/written, one need not be "Pastor/Reverend/Bishop" or "Sheik/Imam" to have conscience!!
Our society has sincerely debased to a horrible status and we all are to blame worse of all our religious institutions!
Some weeks ago, someone told us Jesus hate the poor. Some others are busy making them "Pastors". "Knights" and "Elders" all in the bid to share in the crime/corruption infested pockets!
Even a top politician once ridiculed hard work with the political talk "They will labour till they die" and we hailed him!
Today we are encouraging youths to get rich by all means or die trying!!!
sirgusto: Someone hit my car from behind on Tuesday night at Eliozu, Port Harcourt. It was a black Toyota RAV4, and the driver fled, but I got his plate number. Someone advised me to report it to the police as a stolen vehicle—that way, when they find him, they’ll contact me. Another person suggested going to the road safety/license office, as they might help retrieve his details (address, NIN, etc.) to trace him further.
It’s not like I want to track his home and harm his family—I just want his information. How can I go about this discreetly, without leaving traces?
This happened at Eliozu. All I have is his plate number, and I want to trace him without involving the authorities. I’m willing to pay ₦1M to get to him.
You don't want to follow legal process because you cant prove it that the number plate you have was actually the car that bashed your car!
i have experienced what you are feeling now as well as that special crave to prove to the individual "you can't just mess with anybody you see and escape"
Since God in his infinite mercies availed you with the resources, just go fix your car and leave the clown with God. he will meet his waterloo someday somewhere!
Family › Re: My Pregnant Fiancée Called Off Our Wedding A Night Before It Held… Did I Des by lecturerdabo(m): 3:29pm On Aug 07
. All of a sudden, they've forgotten everything I've done for them simply because of this one time they came to me for help but couldn't help