₦airaland Forum

Hi Friends You Are more Than Able!!


There was this very rich Ibo man in Nnewi who had only one daughter. When the daughter was of marriageable age, the father sent news around town that all the eligible young men should come out on a particular day to compete in a test which would determine who was fit to marry his daughter.

On that set day, all the able-bodied young men came out. Some came with paper and biro and others with cutlasses and swords.

The rich man took them to his swimming pool and addressed the men: "any of you who can swim from one end of this swimming pool to the other would marry my daughter. In addition, I'll give him 15 million naira, a car and a house so they can start off life well. I shall be waiting to meet my potential son-in-law at the other side. Good luck!"

As the young men, all very excited at the prospect of winning, started taking off their shirts, a helicopter came over the pool and dropped snakes and crocodiles into the pool.

Immediately all the men turned back and started wearing their shirts again. Dissapointed, some of them said "make de man go marry im pikin jo!".

All of a sudden, they heard a splash in the pool. Everybody watched in amazement as one gentleman struggled his way across, avoiding the snakes and crocodiles. Finally, he made it to the other side as the would-be in-law, panting.

The rich man could not believe it. He asked the man to name anything he wanted. The man was still panting uncontrollably.

Finally, he got himself together and made his request saying, ", show me the pesin wey push me inside di
swimming pool"


You dont know what you are capable of doing , until you are pushed.!!

Leftee:
Now I know, and I feel flattered. It didn't actually happen the way you say and you know the truth.

You wan tok say you no see dis one?

Now I know, and I feel flattered. It didn't actually happen the way you say and you know the truth.

http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/sports/index.html

VANCOUVER - Olympic wrestling champion Daniel Igali of Surrey, B.C., has survived a frightening knife attack in Nigeria, where he is helping establish an academy to help the poor in his native land.

Igali said in a telephone interview Wednesday night that he was set upon in his home by four robbers in the city of Yenagoa. They stabbed him three times in the back and made off with cash, laptops and phones.

''I think they stabbed me because they wanted me to give them everything,'' Igali said. ''It was a bad experience.

''I don't have any respect for people from the underworld who would come into your house and taken everything you've collected over the years.''

Igali, who won gold for Canada at the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, said thankfully none of his Olympic memorabilia was taken.

The native Nigerian is in the country to establish the Maureen Matheny Academy in his home village of Eniwari in Bayelsa State. He was concerned that would-be volunteers would fear helping out now that he's been attacked.

''I'm recovering now I'm healing all right,'' said Igali, who has raised $600,000 for his academic dream. ''My spirits are fine.

''It's just worrying knowing that it might discourage people who would come to help out at the academy. I was robbed in the city, where it can be dangerous. The academy is in my home village, where they all know everybody.''

Igali initially thought he might abandon his African philanthropy.

''I thought I was doing a good thing, coming home and helping in community development. I have spent so much time and resources trying to uplift the quality of life here. If this is how I want to be paid, then I had better stay back in Canada.''

But he said he went to visit the happy children at the academy, and his enthusiasm is back.

''The progress in the school is growing by leaps and bounds. I'm not going to come home until I've completed my mission.''

Igali also said he's slowly feeling safer again.

''I'm feeling all right. The police have sent armed policemen to my compound. I feel completely safe.''

Igali became an instant Canadian celebrity when he won Olympic gold. He wrapped himself in a Canadian flag, then placed it reverently on the mat, danced around it and finally knelt to kiss the flag.

Igali said as he sang O Canada he thought of the children of Eniwari and vowed to build them a school.

''It became almost an obsession,'' he said. ''School should be one of the safest environments for kids. They should be excited about going to school. And I wanted to give people hope.''

Igali was one of the star candidates recruited by the B.C. Liberals for the 2005 provincial election, but was stoic after losing in the ethnically diverse riding of Surrey-Newton: ''As an athlete, you have to take losses with a grain of salt.''

Happy birthday Shorty! We should get together and celebrate sans Kalaere.

A young couple was in their honeymoon suite
on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed,
the husband, who was a big burly bruiser, tossed his
pants to his bride and said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size
of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said.

"That's right and don't forget it," said the husband.
"I'm the man in this family."

With that, she flipped him her panties and said,
"Try these on." He tried them on and found he could
only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

He said, "Hell, I can't get into your panties."

She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's
going to be until your f**king attitude changes!"

lauryn:
Yes he was, still is

Yes, Lauryn, please explain. Good at what? recognising hopeless causes for what they are? Dang! i wanna be like this dude (real or imagined) when i grow up

ope0lu:
1st off, as y'awl been saying- "i've laffing my friggind bhind off" or sumting like that,
i'm sure everyone here no longer debates that LOVE exiists, it can be one-way as we have here OR two-way as in the ideal situtation and thats LOVE, no rigid rules/principles,

@lauryn: i hope you are over him, otherwise you'll be one of those wit bad stories on love, it can heal- d rate depends on you, and u seem to have several proposals on this thread, best wishes

i'd say i've been there wt "unreciprocated love" big word there but i understand there's restraints on the other party, so we can't have love but she feels some chemistry, i'm happy she knows she's loved but we can't share it or should i say, consume it and thats the sad part,

Sounds like one or both of you is being tempted by the "forbidden fruit"

Scorpio:
lol, jealousy is a bitch! by d way, i asked u a question, abi ya tongue went on strike ni?

Abeg jare, Scorpio, no vex; I've just been very busy and I'm sure you're busy with school too. And just like the real or imagined guy that this 8 page (and counting) thread is all about, I decided some "things" are better left alone.

lauryn:
ouch!!
U had to go that far eh?

Sorry, just calling it like i see it.

I really am starting to think that this guy must be some made up character. I know how creative and imaginative you and your girlfriend can get. If the guy does exist, I'd really like to meet and congratulate him on one of the wisest decisions he'll ever make.

lauryn:
It's been Past 2 mths and I'm still feeling the same way bout this Fella.

How long is the healing process of Heartbreak?

I don't believe you are still pining for this guy after 2 months. Must be some serious shortage in your neck of the woods. Have you tried All Nations?

Dang! I can't beleive this inane thread is still on the first page. na wa oooooooooo

@ kalaere
Can i get "Madam Dearest" back please? I also heard that aliens are invading the earth to abduct good looking people; don't worry, you [color=#990000][/color]are safe. As for me, i don't know where to hide now. Abeg any suggestions?

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
He  notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery
where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked
vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go
by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,
"We missed the "R" ! , we missed the "R" !"His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying
uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was,

CELEBRATE!!!"

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery
where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked
vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go
by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,
"We missed the "R" ! , we missed the "R" !"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying
uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was,

CELEBRATE!!!"

@ Scorpio

don't understand your logic.

Scorpio:
lol, Leftee abi na Snatch, ow your own no come b sef? this your advice no get part 2, lmao

Et tu Scorpio? I no say your Lesbian friend get big mouth but I no know say her Amebo reach this one. Who be Snatch? Don't know the nigga. Don't get it twisted, Scorp.

Orikinla:
Example of unreciprocated love is the fact that I have been showing that I love Lauryn and even started an exclusive thread on her birthday and she has not reciprocated. In fact, she has dislocated my love for her.

Please, dear Nairalandians, what should I do?
I need your advice before I retreat to a monastery and turn my back on loving any woman again.

What does she want?
A private jet or ocean liner?

Here I am on my bended knees begging, pleading, praying, sobbing, weeping and em, em, em, Please better players help me out with some sugar-coated chocolate words to use to woo her.

Is it a crime to love someone so pretty?
Is it a sin to love someone so sexy?
Is it a crime to love someone with such a huggable booty?
Is it a crime to love someone with such grabbable boobs?
Is it a crime to love someone so smoochable as this loving Lauryn?

Orikinla, word to the wise, stay as far away from Lauryn as you can. It's for your own good.

Nothing don't think of her at all. She does not exist as far as i am concerned.

You are on my list. I am blazing today. Venting. hating. Self-hating. Exasperated. all of the above

If Amadioha deal with the guy. na cartel of gods go deal with your case. Like Sango, Ogun, Orunmila etc. (LOL) The hypocrisy of some people just sickens me sometimes.

Mshcceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

I still don't know what came over me. To have given so much of myself to someone so undeserving.

Anyway sha. i go just chalk um up to experience

lauryn:
he's da only one that would find out

@Lauryn: POT to KETTLE: You're black.

Why you dey cus the guy like you haven't done or wouldn't do the same. Abeg go siddon for dirty.

Nairamar abeg help me explain to lauryn, she is emotionally constipated right now and not thinking straight.

Bang on nairamar! You must be genius

@ Lauryn. It would be easier  for someone with a math award. na the heartbreak no make you think straight. Pele.

O ma se o

3 girls go to a motel. The front desk clerk tells them the room will cost $30 for the night. Each girl gives $10 to make out the $30.

Later that night, the clerk realized that the room was actually $25, not $30. So, he calls one of his co-workers and gives him $5 to return to the girls.

On his way, the co-worker asks himself:" How am I going to share $5 to 3 girls?" So, he decides to give each $1 and keep the extra $2 for himself.

So, each girl actually paid $9 for the room ($10-$1). So, the total should be $9+$9+$9 = $27. If we add the $2 that the co-worker kept, we get $29.

The question is: "WHERE IS THE MISSING DOLLAR??"