₦airaland Forum

Happy birthday to my daddy in the lord

My brother, i perfectly understand you and this act of yours..Of course I would not be judgemental and make you feel ashamed. I would take my time to outline what I think would help you overcome this..

I would like to tell you categorically that you're not alone. Many people wrestle with patterns they didn’t choose but somehow feel trapped in. If you feel empty afterward, that's your soul speaking—and it means you’re ready for change. Here's a path I think you can walk at your own pace to help you overcome this:



1. Acknowledge the Pattern Without Shame

The first step isn’t about beating yourself up—it’s about honesty.

-Say to yourself: “This is a pattern I want to break because it's hurting me.”
-Not because society says it’s wrong, but because "you" feel the emptiness afterward. That’s real.
-Shame will only push you back into it. Awareness sets you free.

---

2. Understand the Root

Ask yourself:

“What am I really looking for when I go to prostitutes?”

Is it intimacy?
Control?
Escape from loneliness, stress, or pain?
Sometimes the sex isn’t the issue—it’s the bandage for a deeper wound. Therapy or honest journaling can help uncover this.



3. Find a Safe Space to Talk

This doesn’t have to be a therapist right away (though that helps a lot). It could be:

-A men's support group (even online)
-A trusted friend who won’t judge
-A religious leader if you're spiritual

Speaking the truth out loud breaks the power of secrecy. That’s where healing starts.



4. Create Friction Between You and the Habit

Make it harder to act on the impulse:

-Block the numbers/websites you usually use.
-Don't carry extra cash if that's what enables you.
-Change routines that trigger the behavior (e.g., late nights alone, certain bars or hotels or certain kind of friends that can easily trigger you).
Trust me, habits die when we interrupt their patterns.


5. Replace, Don’t Just Remove

You can’t remove something that gives you comfort—even if temporary—without replacing it.

-Start small with things that feed you emotionally: a hobby, the gym, learning a skill, volunteering.
-Build relationships that don’t involve sex—just shared connection.

Loneliness often disguises itself as lust.



6. Seek Professional Help

This is not just about willpower. It's a mental health and emotional health issue.

-A trained sex addiction therapist can help you work through the deeper issues.
-You can also consider rehab-style support programs like SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous).

You are "not" weak for needing help. You’re wise if you reach for it.

---

7. Redefine What Love and Intimacy Mean to You


- Reflect on what kind of partner, relationship, or life you'd want in 5 years.
- Imagine real connection—not just sex, but companionship, respect, vulnerability.
-Start making choices today that lead to "that" version of yourself.

It’s never too late. Forty is not the end—it’s the midpoint of a powerful comeback.



8. Forgive Yourself Along the Way

You will slip. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re human.
What matters is not perfection but direction.
Every time you get up, you rewrite the story.

My Final Words

You're not broken. You're not beyond redemption. What you’re dealing with is real and painful, but you’re strong enough to face it—and worthy of love beyond a transaction.

Every time you choose healing, you’re becoming the man you’ve always wanted to be.

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Up man u
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Haba na people should respect the dead..

Nigerian guys are really representing us well...keep climbing high..
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Lovely kids I must confess..

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There are lots of factors that would reduce your wife's sex life with you.
1. Age, as some women progress in age, their urge gradually reduces
2. Child birth, most women are really affected by number of children they have delivered.
3. Stress. This is another factor that could drastically reduce the sexual urge of most women.
4. Fear of pregnancy.
5. Have an affair with a more experienced sexual partner, this factor has really caused a lot of gridlock in the relationship of people, when she sees you unattractive or incapable of satisfying her

My Recommendations
1. I would suggest you see a therapist first privately, then she goes and finally both of you..This would give a lot of room to discover what might have gone wrong.
2. Help her a lot in other house duties. Research has shown that some ladies become less interested in sex when lots of stress like child birth, take care of children, work, family issue hit them.
3. Spend more thin with her, talk to her about it, take her out, revitalize your marriage with romance, surprises, vacations, etc, this would strengthen your relationship and increase your closeness.
4. Avoid blame, show her love, cuddling, and even research on how best to wao her when you both have sex, she might be tired of your regulars..Try something new and interesting.
5. Seek God...
Afamirase Global Enterprise.

My question, has the new judge declared his own assets??

Whether the government tax the rich based on luxury tax, the rich would always have a way to manipulate their taxes, the taxes levied on the rich would soon get back to the poor masses in one way or the other.. Let's not rejoice that the government is taxing the rich and leaving the poor.... It must get back to the poor in one way or the other..

Great men at great occasion....

One thing I got from your story is that she was the one that first spoke about passing a night close to the company for the interview.... If she would first come up with such brilliant idea, I think she might have seriously thought of it, and might have known the full implications of her decisions. There's a high possibility that she might have had sex with her ex... she might also be saying the truth. what I would advice you is to look so closely to her personality hence forth and watch how far things would go. Don't be the first to pick up fight, time would expose the whole incident that happened and more to happen.... Be mature in handling her hence forth and watch how she would respond..

To me...including just two geopolitical region in Nigeria is a political strategy for 2019. This is because they know that these regions have strongly being intimidated due to Fulani and all what's not...Let's be watching the movie

Now they know that corruption is much....

I graduated from unn, two things are involved, its either you accept it with a mind set that you would do well in your 100 level, get a good grade and high cgp so u can easily switch to your dream course or you ignore and write jamb again...your choice.

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Wat?

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